Note From the Author—Holy feedback, Batman! Thank you all so much for your amazing comments! I hope I continue to do you proud
Puck was sure he would never forget the sight of the blood that spread beneath the two most important people in his life; it was too starkly bright against the wood floor of the gym, and still brighter against his skin which was pale and drawn. It reminded him absurdly of one of his sister's fairytale books, and the blood on the heroine's hands when she pricked her finger on a thorn.
They hadn't let him go in the ambulance.
The paramedics had gotten their stunningly fast, and they had pulled Noah away from Rachel's unconscious form as soon as they made it. Some dip shit had called the cops too, so it was Mr. Schue who climbed into the ambulance with the girls while Finn and Puck were left helplessly behind to make their statements.
Well, Finn tried his best to make a statement, but Puck trusted the would-be witnesses to get it right and retreated into his head and to the damning thoughts that were swirling through his mind. He may not have been the smartest guy around, but he was far from a complete idiot; he knew what that much blood meant. Most of it had come from Quinn, and he was trying to convince himself he was wrong if only for his own sanity. Rachel hadn't woken before they left either, and he couldn't seem to help but wonder if he was going to lose them both.
"Puck." The gentle voice startled him out of his reverie, and he looked up to find Tina standing in front of him with the rest of the Glee club behind her. They were all looking at him with concern and pity in their eyes, but he couldn't seem to bring himself to feel anything but the guilt and worry that was coursing through his blood like a bad drug. "Puck, let's get you cleaned up, okay?"
It was only then that he looked back down at his hands to be faced again with the inescapable consequences of his own stupidity. He couldn't seem to say a word, just sit there with his beautiful green eyes muddy with everything he was feeling, and Tina seemed to be the only one who was brave enough to deal with him in this state.
Just as gently as she had spoken, she took his hand in hers, not caring about the blood. Slowly and carefully she walked him into the locker room and sat him down near the sink. He barely registered the feeling of the warm water against his skin as she patiently worked to clean the blood from his hands, arms and face.
It all brought back the memory of him and Rachel that first time they had been together, the way she had gently rinsed the corn syrup and food coloring from his hair and the way she had kissed his forehead before she had walked away. White hot fear caught suddenly in his chest and he reached out to clutch at Tina's hand. But still the words wouldn't come, just tears he would never have imagined shedding as the reality really hit him. He had caused this. The girl he was quickly falling for and the mother of his baby were in the hospital because of him and Finn and their stupid macho bullshit, and he could never take that back.
Tina saw the tears, and felt them triggering her own, but she didn't say a word. She knew that nothing she said in that moment would be enough, and nothing would convince him that he wasn't to blame. She just sat down next to him and wrapped an arm around him with no idea whether or not he would be willing to take the offered comfort. But as soon as she touched him, something inside him broke, and before he could even think he was holding her fast against him in a fierce hug.
It was over almost as soon as it began, but he was more grateful than he could possibly express for the support she had offered him. Neither of them spoke as she cleaned the last of the blood from his face. His shirt was completely shot so there wasn't much she could do about that, but she could rinse the last of the red from the washcloth in her hand and make sure it swirled down the drain and out of his sight.
"Kurt and I are going to take you and Finn to the hospital, okay?" she asked quietly. He just nodded and stood, heading quickly back to the gym.
He and Finn didn't say a word to each other as they climbed into Kurt's car. There didn't seem any point now. At first there had been some debate between the Glee kids as to whether Finn should even go, but he had convinced them that he needed to be there no matter what happened to try and make amends for what had happened.
They were all disconcerted by Puck's continued silence, but when he did finally speak they almost wished he hadn't. His hoarse voice seemed unnaturally loud after the silence, and the haunted look in his eyes carried more than even his words could say. "What did we do?"
Puck didn't say another word for the rest of the car ride to the hospital, so when he walked into the waiting room to find the Berry Dads waiting there and burst in to rapid fire speech, needless to say the others were a bit taken aback.
"Where's Rachel? Is she okay? Have they said anything about Quinn?"
Rachel's Dad put his hand on the young man's shoulder in what appeared to be a completely fruitless attempt to calm him. "Rachel is being taken care of right now. So far it appears that her left wrist is broken and a couple of ribs were cracked by the fall. She has a mild concussion but it didn't do any kind of permanent damage as far as they can tell. They wanted to keep her overnight but Rachel is fighting them tooth and nail and they'll likely send her home under our care as soon as they finish her cast."
Puck took a gulping breath, not having realized he had been holding it. "Okay, she's okay." He deflated as the adrenaline fled his body. "Shit. I'm so sorry for what happened."
"Me too," Finn said, stepping up next to his former best friend. "We were complete idiots; me worst of all."
Rachel's Daddy's eyes were kind when he regarded the two of them. "We got a chance to talk to Rachel and she told us what happened. Idiocy seems to be an epidemic today since she said the exact same thing about herself. All in all I would say that this whole thing was just an awful mistake."
Finn nodded, but Noah couldn't seem to simply let it go. Feeling like he was going to cry, he prepared to ask the one question that had been haunting him since he'd seen Rachel and Quinn on the floor. "Have they told you anything about Quinn?" he questioned hesitantly.
"No," Mr. Berry said sadly as he shook his head. "They haven't been able to tell us anything as we aren't her guardians. Rachel tried to call the Fabrays but they won't answer the calls. They took her to work on fairly quickly and all Rachel could really tell us was that Quinn was conscious and scared. Mr. Schue went to see if he could get them to listen."
"I'll go back to the school and see if Ms. Pillsbury or Principal Figgins can get them to answer. Can't hurt to hit them from all sides," Tina injected.
Everyone had quite forgotten that she and Kurt were even there, but the possibility of them taking something off of their already overloaded plates was more than welcome. "Thank you, Tina." Mr. Berry told her. "That would be very helpful."
She and Kurt took off, but Finn insisted on staying. Puck didn't quite know what to do with himself. Rachel's dads were usually pretty okay with him, but this was a completely unusual circumstance; not to mention the fact that his mind was reeling with the possibilities of what could be going on wherever Quinn was.
But he didn't have a lot of time to think about it, as Rachel appeared from around a corner at that moment, seeming to be doing a rather effective job of intimidating her doctor into bending to her will.
"I assure you that I will be perfectly safe," she told him primly. "My Daddy is a physician so I'm in excellent hands."
The chastised doctor gave up and gave in. He simply nodded at the tiny dynamo in front of him, and with a look of intense satisfaction on her face and a bright pink cast on her arm she turned to face the room. When she caught sight of Noah her eyes filled with tears and despite the fact that she was clearly banged up, she ran to him and launched herself into his arms.
Puck held her carefully so as not to do any further damage, but he held her as close as he could and buried his face in her hair. "I'm so sorry, baby," he told her in a hoarse whisper.
She shook her head. "It wasn't just your fault, Noah. We were all stupid, but once it started you couldn't have stopped it."
"How are you?" he asked her, pulling back to look her up and down and catalog the bumps and bruises.
"I'm fine," she said soothingly. "But how are you? Have we heard anything about Quinn?"
Everyone's face seemed to fall simultaneously at the thought. "They won't tell us anything," Finn answered. Tina and Kurt went to see if Ms. P or Principal Figgins could get her parents to answer."
"Oh. Oh, Noah," she whispered. The worry and guilt in his eyes shone bright as a candle, and once again she wrapped him in her arms. "It's going to be okay." It just had to be.
When they hadn't heard anything after another half hour the Berry Dads trouped the kids out to the car and back to their house for a much needed hot meal and some rest. Though Puck and Finn wanted to stay, they had still been unable to rouse the Fabrays so it seemed pointless to stay at the hospital when they could just as easily worry with the added comfort of chairs that weren't hard plastic. None of them were holding out hope that they would be able to forget what was at stake, but they also figured it couldn't hurt to try.
So they all had some soup and good hearty bread, and then sat staring into space.
Rachel and her fathers shared a worried look at the state of the boys, and almost simultaneously they sprang into action, Rachel standing gingerly to hold out a hand to Puck while her fathers encouraged Finn to hit the couch. "Come on, Noah," she said quietly.
He took her hand, completely unashamed of the fact that he truly needed her. His world was falling down around him because he had been a jackass; suddenly his badass rep didn't seem to matter at all. Letting her lead him up the stairs seemed perfectly natural, and before he knew it she had him lying down on her bed minus his shoes.
"I'll be back." But before she left, she leaned down to kiss his forehead. "Rest."
She went downstairs for hot chocolate and found Finn already fast asleep on the couch, his brow furrowed even in rest. With a sigh, Rachel made the chocolate and carried it carefully up the stairs; hoping that Noah had dozed off.
Unfortunately she wasn't that lucky, and she found Puck staring at the ceiling with his eyes looking more haunted than before.
"I can't get the picture out of my head," he told her quietly. "You and Quinn at the bottom of those stairs; all that blood spreading out under you like something out of a damn book."
Her heart was aching as she abandoned the mugs on the desk and climbed slowly into the bed with him, mindful of her injuries. She curled up lightly against his side, not sure how much contact he would welcome in that moment. "No one person can shoulder the burden of what happened today," she told him gently. "We all made mistakes and now in a lot of ways we're paying for them, but it could have been worse. Please don't torture yourself over this. It wasn't just you."
"I know that, but I can't stop it. My daughter could be dead right now because Finn and I just couldn't…"
"Noah Puckerman that is enough!" Rachel cried, interrupting his verbal self flagellation as she sat up to regard him sternly. "Stop this right now! We all messed up, we all did and said things we shouldn't have today. This is the last time I'm going to tell you that this WAS NOT YOUR FAULT! You are not alone in this and so help me God I will walk out of that door if you do not quit beating yourself up over this." Her voice gentled as she ran her hand down his cheek and neck to finally settle over his heart. "None of us meant for this to happen, least of all you, so stop this. I don't want to have to walk away, because right now I'd like nothing more than you just holding onto me, but I will leave, Noah."
"Fuck," he half whispered, pressing his hand over hers. "Baby the last thing I want is for you to walk out that door."
"Then stop beating yourself up."
He shook his head. "I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to completely do that, but I can try."
Rachel knew that was the best she was going to get, so she lay back down and tucked herself against him with a contented sigh as he wrapped his arms around her…
And that brought her back to herself and the horrid thoughts that were swirling through her head despite the fact that she had admonished Puck to banish the very same thoughts. It had been close to two hours since they had left the hospital and they were still waiting and wondering. Both Rachel and Noah had been silent the majority of their time in her room as they were both lost in thought; but the ability to take solace in each other had been a balm to sooth their aching hearts.
Just when they were beginning to wonder if they might die from the waiting Rachel's door slammed open and ricocheted off of the wall, revealing Finn standing there. "Tina just called, Ms. P got in touch with Quinn's parents and now Mr. Fabray is talking to your Dad."
They were both already on their feet halfway through the sentence and Puck looked over at Finn hopefully as he pulled on his shoes. "Did they say what happened with Quinn?"
"I don't know, he was still on the phone when I came up to get you guys."
"Let's go," Rachel said impatiently, tugging on Noah's hand.
They made it downstairs in record time to find Rachel's Dad hanging up the phone. "Quinn's okay," he told them with a smile. "They had to do some surgery but she's going to be fine."
"And the baby?" Puck asked with the fear palpable in his voice as he clenched his hand around Rachel's.
The smile stayed in place. "She made it. She was in a lot of distress and they have her in the NICU, but she made it, Noah."
"Okay, okay good," he said dazedly.
Rachel didn't have any time to react before his legs came out from under him and they hit the floor.