Title: Missing Scenes from Alter Ego
Author: CarolQ Continuum
Summary: Missing Scenes of 3rd season episode Alter Ego. The events that led Captain Janeway and First Officer Chakotay to attend to Nelix's Luau party together.
Pairing: Kathryn Janeway and Chakotay
Genre: Romance
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: Star Trek Voyager Series are Copyright and Trademark Paramount Pictures. No infringements intended.
Authors Note: I´d really appreciate reviews.
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Missing Scenes from Alter Ego
Chapter 02 – Pushing some Boundaries
Captain Janeway spent the remaining time of her duty shift in her office, reviewing the data collected from the reversed nebula phenomenon which she has increasingly finding more intriguing.
Also intriguing was that as the end of alpha shift approached, Kathryn found harder to concentrate on those logs which was most certainly unusual. She, as an experienced scientist, become accustomed analyzing endless scientifical data and finding them somehow entertaining. Nevertheless she found herself wondering beyond the nebula phenomenon and reaching a subject she did not wish to pursue at that time – her date with Commander Chakotay.
"Not Commander Chakotay, just Chakotay!" she corrected herself. She was not altogether convinced it was a "date", not in the common sense of the word. She forced herself to thought of it as a gathering of two very good friends.
"Besides I can't have a date, I´m the captain of a Starfleet vessel lost in an unknown region of space, dating shouldn´t be even crossing my mind right now." – But she was thinking of it, and she has been thinking of it for some time now.
The plain fact was that Chakotay did make a personal invitation, and she did accept it despite the restrictions her captainship could impose and furthermore despite the restrictions that her personal life could impose - she was after all, an engaged woman.
"Captain and Fiancée. Could it get any better?" – She thought sarcastically doubting she would be able to successful reconcile those two aspects of her life with the one constantly emerging now, Chakotay.
Even before she personally knew him, she had Chakotay in her highest regard. He sacrificed his ship, his crew and his rank to join her in a helpless journey. Chakotay willingly accepted Starfleet´s rules and regulation and ultimately her rules and regulation even when he thought Maqui´s rules would be better applied.
He accepted her crew as his own and made himself available for every one of them, without distinguishing Maqui and Starfleet. They´ve became accustomed having him around on off duty hours, which was imperative to set the homely atmosphere Kathryn always found essential for their success on the journey home.
Kathryn has now also become accustomed having Chakotay around. As an officer he was competent and skilled, always pondering her actions and preventing her from making the wrong decisions. As a friend he was supportive and caring, worried about her physical and mental safety. In more than one opportunity, when Kathryn doubted the journey and herself, Chakotay was prepared to comfort her, to share the burden and the responsibilities, even though she would not let him do it. He was a man of character and Kathryn admired him for that.
"He is as intriguing as this Reversed Nebula" – she thought realizing that she had never been personally involved with a man that could defy and question her the way Chakotay did. A man that didn´t fell subdued or uncomfortable with her position and rank.
Not even Mark, who had been present during her career ascension, wasn´t immune to her job effects. More than once, he expressed his concerns about the consequences that her captainship would bring for both of them and he hadn't been very pleased the times Kathryn accepted long-term or risky missions. All she could do in those situations was to assure him of her capabilities and attempt to make him comprehend the importance of those missions for Starfleet and mostly for her.
"I know he really tried to understand and support me, and for that I dearly loved him." – She stated and hoped she didn´t failed letting him know that when they were together. For some time now, Kathryn has been preparing herself for accepting that her feelings for Mark were no longer the same ones of two years ago, when she last spoke with him, exactly in this office, right before her departure.
Before she could even realize, a single tear rolled down her face, and she admonished herself for starting this inner debate. "Not today!" – She resolved, finding herself yet unprepared to deal with those surfacing emotions.
"Computer what is the time?" – Captain Janeway inquired trying her best to sound professional and composed. She quickly touched her face looking for any other unwanted tears and finding none of them.
"It is 1600 hours." – The synthesized female voice responded and even before it could finish its sentence the captain was already on her feat, tapping her combadge – "Janeway to Chakotay."
"Chakotay here captain." – She immediately heard. "I'm calling it a day Commander anything to report?" – Kathryn knew that Chakotay would have informed her of any changes in the ship's status or the nebula´s conditions but she wanted to be certain that her First Officer had all the bases covered in case there were any unexpected situations. She has always been confident in her crew´s competence and now it wouldn´t be different but she was somehow annoyed by the possibility of having her prior arrangement interrupted.
"Nothing Captain, the ship is functioning within normal parameters and the beta shift will continue to constantly monitor the nebula. Our readings indicate it´ll be a calm night." – He quickly responded apparently foreseeing his captain´s thoughts.
"Acknowledged Commander. Janeway out." – The Captain was grateful for her First Officer abilities to anticipate her thoughts since she wouldn´t dare to declare her preoccupations for anyone else to hear.
Kathryn left her ready room, entering the bridge where the beta shift had already resumed the reversed nebula sensor scanning. Chakotay had been relieved from his post and was nowhere to be seen. She sighed in relieve and entered the turbo lift calling out for her quarter´s deck. It would have been an awkward moment Kathryn thought, if both of them had been led to make that bridge-quarters walk together. "I´m sure he took care of that as well." – She silently said, leaving the turbo-lift and heading to her quarters.
Luckily only a few crew members were to be seeing in the corridor´s deck. She acknowledged every single one of them - a habit Kathryn was determined to maintain regardless of the situation – and entered her quarters. "To soak in the bathtub. That will give me some mind rest." – She sighed and went straight to the bathroom.
Commander Chakotay had left the bridge just a few minutes earlier when his Captain called. He, as an experienced former Maqui captain and currently skilled Starfleet first officer, knew that Captain Kathryn Janeway wouldn't leave her duty shift until the systems were fully checked and the major situations totally solved. He wouldn´t have behaved differently.
Therefore he anticipated the engineering, communication, security and medical reports, as well as the science reviews on the reversed nebula. It had been a massive effort from him, who wasn´t a burocracy enthusiast; however it was an effort we was willing to make if it would assure Kathryn and himself a pleasant evening together. They did have an outstanding skilled crew but tonight he was counting on no interruptions. "You certainly are felling self-assured Commander. Don´t push your luck!" – He admonished himself thinking he could have heard the same words from the captain´s mouth when, without notice he invited her to join him in Nelix´s Luau.
But for his surprise she had accepted. Kathryn Janeway had accepted his invitation despite of all the convincing reasons she could have used to decline his personal request. She is, after all a Starfleet captain and therefore bounded by rules and regulations about fraternization with crew members. But that was not the only reason Chakotay hadn´t been to confident about his request, besides the fact of been a captain, Kathryn was also an engaged woman.
Only on one occasion she had mentioned her fiancé Mark to him. It was when they´d been discussing rules about crew fraternization on Voyager. According to Kathryn it was a Starfleet policy to not interfere on Starship crew´s personal lives as far as relationships were concerned.
However that same rule couldn't be applied to the ship´s Captain and she complemented saying that she expected to home before Mark gave up on her. Chakotay had seen not only pain and longing on Kathryn´s eyes, but also fear, doubt and loneliness.
Now in his quarters, as Chakotay completed replicating him a greenish florid shirt and white loose-fitting pants, he wished his party arrangements were enough to convince Kathryn that she was corrected on relinquishing her restrictions and accept his invitation. He would try to chase the ghosts away, at least for the evening.
He finished dressing himself, replicated a single crimson rose and left for Kathryn´s quarters.
It was 1630 hours when Kathryn fished drying herself after taking a long and luxurious bath. She was indeed feeling much more contented and relaxed, and expected to remain that way through out the evening. She now concentrated on putting her makeup and replicating herself a nice florid dress to set a Luau mood. Analyzing the computer´s selection of florid dresses she opted for a white knee short model, with delicate green flowers spread all over it.
Of course for a Luau, the computer choose only strap dresses and as she dressed, Kathryn started felling self-conscious and wondered if that was an appropriate outfit for the occasion and for her. "It's definitely showing too much." – She stated and concluded that was certainly not appropriated clothing for a captain to wear on a community event.
"But right now I'm not a captain, tonight I´m only Kathryn" – She remembered her previous resolution to abandon the restrictions and enjoy the evening. Deciding against replicating a new dress Kathryn fixed her hair with a single white fabric flower, which perfectly matched the whole combination.
"Well I´m certainly looking at least 5 years younger." – She said gazing at her discarded uniform and realizing that the piece of clothing itself had carried more responsibilities than some of the ensigns themselves. "No wonder it sometimes feels like I´m 2 pounds heavier. And I thought it was Nelix´s Leola root soup. " – She smiled at her reflection.
At that moment her door chimed. "Am I prepared for this?" – She inquired without really expecting a precise answer from her reflection. "Come on in." – She called, heading quickly to the living room.
"Hello Kathryn." – Chakotay first said, entering the quarters and taking a few steps towards her. "I…, you… look beautiful Kathryn!" – He awkwardly added embarrassed by the feelings and thoughts he was having. Instantly Chakotay began having second thoughts about the whole situation, not because Kathryn – she look astonishing beautiful, cheerful and relaxed – but because of him. He wasn´t quite sure anymore he would be able to restrain himself in pushing their previous set boundaries.
"Thank you Chakotay. Is… that for me?" – Kathryn looked kindly at the single crimson rose he was holding. "Yes, it is." – He said plainly and closing the distance between them, he presented her the rose. "It is beautiful Chakotay!" – She whispered looking directly to his eyes and as he had done earlier this morning in her office, she took advantage of their closeness and placed lightly a kiss on his cheek.
Chakotay smiled and found in her actions, the assurance he needed to continue slightly pushing the boundaries.
"Shall we go?" – He asked, offering his arm for her. "We most certainly shall." – She cheerfully responded and took his arm as they passed the quarter´s door heading to the Luau.