"How the hell are we gonna fit lardass on the bus!?"

"Bakugou! Have some respect! Midoriya-kun is an excellent ally and his weight should not deter this institution from keeping him in hero training!"

"You're only saying that 'cause you both have tails, freakass!"

"Now that's just mean!"

"And lardass wasn't!?"

"Settle down, settle down." Aizawa's yawn wasn't what interrupted them, but rather the sudden erasure of the Quirks of both Bakugou and Ojirou (the latter of whom hadn't even been doing anything other than standing calmly to the side). The explosions up Bakugou's arms ceased, while Ojirou's tail went entirely out of his control and proceeded to rob a nearby convenience store before it was apprehended and brought into the station.

"Aizawa-sensei!" Bakugou fumed, both figuratively and literally. "Are we supposed to let this – this walrus onto the bus!?"

"Yes," the other deadpanned. "We have a wheelchair lift for a reason." He slipped a remote from his pocket, then pressed a button; the back doors of the bus opened, and the wheelchair lift slowly slid out and to the ground, where Izuku crawled onto it and sat patiently as the lift rose and slid right back into the vehicle, the doors closing quietly behind it.

After a deafening silence, the rest of the students started filing onto the bus, leaving a very confused and hurt Bakugou standing on the pavement outside Yuuei for a moment before he realized shit, I better get on the bus and scrambled to make it before the driver took off without him. (The class secretly hoped he would and were disappointed when Bakugou was not abandoned.)

"Hey, Deku-kun?" Uraraka asked him, in the back of the bus.

"Mm?" He could, at least, acknowledge her.

"Why didn't the wheelchair lift break when it tried to pick you up? And why isn't the back of the bus dragging on the ground with your weight?"

Grunt.

"We couldn't get to the training camp if that happened," Iida pointed out.

"But that doesn't make any – "

"Yes." And with this cryptic comment, he retrieved an orange from his bag and began to peel it.

The trip was entirely eventful, though distinctly uncomfortable for Izuku, whose glorious brown-grey mustache had become corrupted by the presence of a distinctly irritating fly that kept landing on the dense bristles.

Cut it out, damnit! SMAAASH!

And with one empowered sneeze, he blew out the front windshield, forcing them to stop at a conveniently placed parking lot on the side of a mountain.

There was something incredibly suspicious about the fact that a pair of thirtysomething women in hero costumes that basically amounted to short skirts and crop tops stood calmly by the front door of the bus, waiting patiently for Izuku to be unloaded; he could still hear them, even if he was a walrus! Still, he gave them the benefit of the doubt – perhaps they didn't want to be rude.

At least, that was what he figured until Aizawa waved and the ground itself decided now would be a good time to escort them down the cliff to the edge of the forest below…except Izuku, who ended up just kind of tumbling down the stony wall like an oversized multi-ton beach ball.

By the time they'd all straightened and brushed themselves off, Mineta – an extremely short child with an equally short grasp of morals, ethics, and general decency – had decided that he had to pee quite badly, to which Izuku grunted in response (one of the perks of being a walrus was the ability to discreetly pee anywhere without judgement…unless of course people knew you were a human, so Izuku naturally did his best to behave like a standard walrus, savaging passerby and accumulating a harem of female walruses all in order to freely urinate on traffic posts – truly, the struggles of privilege).

Much to the collective chagrin of the class, the horrifying dirt-clod monster that showed up to intercept Mineta's bladder did not kill him; his reflexes, honed by years of peeping into dressing rooms and showers, enabled him to escape at lightning speed as easily as if he were evading just another security guard or police officer.

To the class's collective relief, however, Izuku came to their rescue with a powerful Bering Smash, summoning the strength of the northern seas to devastate four linear kilometers of private property, carving a path half a kilometer wide through the trees and obliterating anything within, living or nonliving (amidst the dirt "corpses" of many more "beasts" lay scattered wildlife). Kaminari excitedly referred to this as a "hard carry".

"Deku-kun, do you think maybe that was too much?"

No. Like All Might said, it's okay to destroy everything in the pursuit of victory. The government, property owner, or insurance company will pay for any collateral damage, after all.

"That reminds me," Todoroki cut in; where he'd come from, nobody knew. "Since you're causing collateral damage…what happened to controlling your power?"

Huh? Oh. Yeah. I'm a walrus now. I don't need to worry about that anymore. Still, sucks I didn't get an internship. One day I'll found my own hero agency, and all walrus-kind will be welcome there!

"Wait." Iida, this time, who'd long since finished the orange from earlier and was now eating a sixth one ("Where is he getting all these oranges!?" Uraraka cried, traumatized), spoke up. "I thought your dream was to become a hero who saves people with a smile, not to promote the integration of walruses into human society."

I can't smile anymore. I don't have lips. Also, as much as I would like to cause societal upheaval and restructure society to a more inclusive form, I think it's best to work in small steps until we get to the point where we can make a major change. I know some of my fellows would disagree, but we're simply not in the position to go making those demands.

"When did you develop telepathy, anyway? And why are you using it to discuss activist principles?"

I don't know, but I am literally incapable of not broadcasting my every thought and must carefully police everything I think.

"Um, maybe Mandalay can help you with that one," Uraraka suggested. Nobody asked how she knew the name of a character who hadn't been formally introduced yet; there had been absolutely zero context for why they'd been thrown down a cliff and pointed in the general direction of a mountain.

I'd do anything to devour the shit out of some cod right now…oh, crap.

"This is weird," Todoroki observed.

"Yeah, definitely," agreed Uraraka, with a fervent nod.

The camp was in no way what they'd expected it to be. They'd been told it was a training camp, but not what kind of training; this became immediately apparent when their meal that night was served to them in the form of a one-hectare patch of woods, where they were told to survive off the land.

"The earth provides much more food than you can ever imagine!" Pixie-Bob declared, a Cheshire Cat grin spreading across her face as she popped an entire witchetty grub into her mouth.

"Hey, aren't those native to Australia?" asked Yaoyorozu.

"Yes."

"Why are they here?"

"We're devastating the ecosystem by introducing non-native species for our amusement, rather like Shakespeare enthusiasts corrupted the wilds of North America by introducing the European Starling for the sake of a play."

"Nothing about this is okay."

"Oh, we know." Another grub vanished into that terrifying maw.

Did she even chew? Izuku thought, forgetting his uncontrollable telepathy in his mortification, and Pixie-Bob shook her head, blonde hair whipping freely.

Oh god.

"This is objectively disgusting," Jirou pointed out.

"Hey! Your Quirk is perfect for sounding out worms underground! Oh, she's just like a robin!" Mandalay squealed, and Jirou went white as a sheet.

"Wouldn't Kouda's be better for just telling them to come to come up so we can eat them?" asked Satou, who seemed weirdly on board with the idea.

"No!" Kouda squealed. "I refuse to use my powers to put animals in harm's way!"

"That's why you demanded that a bunch of songbirds 'remove these beasts from the forest', right?" Tokoyami deadpanned. "You pitted a bunch of tiny birds against a monster ten times the size of even Izuku."

"Moving on!" Pixie-Bob interjected, and all eyes found her face again. (Well, most. One pair went back to the hem of her skirt, and everyone knew whose eyes they were.) "You have forty-five minutes to prepare your meal off the land! Now, go!"

"Hey, you shitrags! You didn't even tell us what the hell we can eat!"

"Of course not! If you get poisoned, it's your own fault! This is survival of the fittest!" the woman giggled, and everyone paled.

"Fear not!" Iida declared. "I still have my supply of – oh. Right. We left our bags on the bus." Without his oranges, Iida became quite sad indeed.

"Didn't you have your bag still on when you got off? I remember you eating one in the forest," Uraraka told him.

"Don't blame me for continuity errors!"

And so, just like that, the great race to dig up grubs began.