Meaning: Day or daylight. A breakthrough or sudden change.
Berwald's POV
"I got you a large, it doesn't matter about the price " the small man beamed, placing the tray upon their table. It was the table in the furthest corner away from the door- not that there were anyone there anyway.
"Are you sure? You should keep your money, you know?"
"Don't be so silly, you seemed stressed and I wanted to treat you." In Berwald's eyes, Timo had a smile that could melt away all of his stress like snow in the spring.
"Well, I owe you then." Berwald nodded firmly, only taking yes as an answer.
"You don't owe me at all. It's a treat. Just don't expect one every day" Timo laughed, handing a few packets of sugar to Berwald. "I hope you don't mind Brown sugar- it goes better in coffee anyway"
"I hope I get one every day" Berwald mumbled accidentally. He realised what he said in panic, hoping that Timo hadn't heard his words. "Ah, yes. Brown sugar is good, I don't have a lot of sugar in these things anyway."
"So, what are you studying?" Timo suddenly spoke, not hearing (or pretending not to) Berwald's comment. In his panic to answer quickly, he had forgotten everything. He was certain that he had forgotten his own name if asked. But he could recall the exact pitch and warmth of Timo's voice. "It's ok," Timo chuckled "Take your time"
As the heat pooled into Berwald's cheeks, he finally remembered the information that he needed to relay. "I take Psychology, English Language, and Media studies." He had never felt this stupid in his whole life- this thought was followed by a soft curse in many languages.
"Wow, you must be really smart!" Timo smiled brightly, causing the breath to stick in Berwald's throat. He really thinks that I'm smart? If it weren't for it being Berwald, he could have swore he felt a smile creep onto his deadpan face. "I'm boring, I just take the 3 Sciences again"
"But they are magnificent subjects! And you need to be far smarter to take them anyway." Berwald protested through the steam of his coffee. He picked up the large mug and brought it to his face.
"We are different types of smart." Timo began, interrupting the silence with a blindingly obvious comment "You are language smart, and I am number smart."
"We see the world in completely different, yet blazingly similar ways." Berwald nodded, understanding the young Finn more than he had before. Berwald was smart in the ways of linguistics and creativity, Timo was smart in the ways of numbers and figuring out how to piece the world together. Two seperate qualities but go the best together.
"Anyway, how is life away from college? Family, and stuff I mean." Timo mirrored Berwald's previous action and looked to him through the steam of his own mug.
'Fairly normal. As normal as a household with 6 children can be. I have 4 brothers, one sister, and my parents. Before I left, they were considering bringing my grandmother into the house- as she is very old now and all alone." Berwald nodded "It's noisy all of the time but I love it. Someone has to counter balance my quietness." And I hope that can now be you, Timo.
"Ah, my house was the opposite. I was an only child, until my mother remarried last year. Then I had a step- brother and sister. I never knew my birth father but mother says he was a horrible man."
"Ah, I am so sorry to hear that" Berwald had rehearsed a more sympathetic verse but his mind went blank upon looking into those eyes. Berwald had gone through similar- his mother divorced his father and remarried, it was the step father that was horrible. He used to beat his mother until she left. His father caught wind of this and he beat the man to near-death. He eventually made up with his mother and they remarried.
"It's ok. My mother was all the parent I needed. And my step dad is lovely too- Olavi is quite like you actually. Oh, and I have my cousins and aunties and uncles- they're all the family I need" Timo grinned and placed his hands on Berwald's for a brief second. This left Berwald's mind racing.
"H...how about friends then?"
"Well, I have a lot of those! Many of which come here. Like Toris, Eduard, and Ravis. Oh, and Lili, and her brother. And- well, there was a school, like this, not far away and most of my friends went there." He paused to take another sip of coffee "And how about you? I'm sure you have a lot of friends" This made Berwald's mind laugh bitterly. He really expects you to have friends? He thinks people tolerate you.
"Well, I don't." he smiled weakly, pushing his glasses up. " I have enough though." And I hope that you can be one too Timo
He stood up in a panic, "Oh, I'm sorry. I keep saying the wrong things, don't I? I should just leave. I don't mean it but I'm making the conversation ne-"
"No please don't" Berwald didn't care that he had interrupted the man's rambling. He didn't care that he had his hand on Timo's arm- and that the touch felt like electric. The man sat back down and looked in Berwald's eyes.
Whether it was fear or defiance, or even a spark of something else, Timo's eyes shone. They made Berwald's heart almost stop as they softened upon meeting his own. The eyes with small wrinkles at the corners from smiling often. The violet eyes that captivated his whole being. Another, smaller apology fell from Timo's lips as he re-ajusted himself in his chair.
"You're apologising more than me and that is saying something" To coin a phrase from the odd Italian from earlier.
"I know" Timo's eyes almost looked upset. They then darted back to Berwald with the same look as before. Violet eyed boy, with such a beautiful gleam in them. The young man who vaguely smelled of coffee and wildflowers. The man who smiled like sunlight. Shut up Berwald, you're going red again...
"What kind of things do you do for fun? Away from work?" Timo repositioned his hands around the cup and took a sip, closing his eyes as he did so. His light eyelashes fluttered as the eyes behind them moved.
"Well, I sew..A bit odd, I know. And I cook and I write," You write poetry Berwald, don't deny it. "and I make things out of wood" Timo chuckled; looking into, what felt like, Berwald's soul.
"You really are a gentle giant, aren't you?" His voice played with hints of relief.
"Well what do you like to do then?" Berwald mumbled, admiring Timo's smiling face in its full detail. The small wrinkles at the corner of his eyes and cheeks. His slightly pink complexion; and gleaming, violet eyes. They seemed almost heavy with laughter- half lidded and pushed up by his cheeks. The smile that lit up a room- the smile that shone with an air of innocence and unbridled joy.
"Well, I like drawing, hiking and metal music" he grinned; as though those hobbies were made to be together. "Oh, and photography! Although getting hopelessly drunk is probably my favorite hobby." Berwald snorted- in either amusement or surprise- at this. The young man didn't seem the type to get drunk often. "Was that funny?" Timo tilted his head in genuine concern.
"Of course not, it was just surprising." Berwald spoke over his mug of coffee, trying to conceal his face. He helplessly tried to search for another conversation topic but failed miserably. Everytime his mind tried to think of something else, it just wanders back to Timo.
"I hope that I can provide more surprises for you" How could this sweet, innocent man make anything sound like an innuendo at the mere inflection of his voice? Maybe it is just your mind, you pervert. "Anyway, what would you like to do when you leave this place? Sorry it's all questions" Berwald didn't care that he was practically being interrogated- this was because he was spending time with this magical and mysterious man.
"No it's ok." Berwald attempted to smile but he gave up in embarrassment. How could he compare to Timo? "I don't mind. And I would like to go to university and possibly be a language tutor or a translator"
"Wow, they are really cool career paths!" Timo actually had to stop to compose himself, finding himself more enthusiastic on this topic than Berwald was. "How many languages do you know?"
Berwald turned a vibrant shade of red. Now this is where he finds out how much of a nerd you are Ber.
"Well, Swedish is my mother tongue- then English as it is the language I speak in the most. Then, in level of most knowledge: Danish, German, Norwegian, conversational Russian and Estonian. I also know basic phrases in Spanish, Czech, and Hungarian- nothing much really but enough to get by."
"Wow! That's so many. I only know Finnish and English.." He looked to his lap, as if thinking of something to say "Could you... teach me some languages? I'd love to learn so many, not as many as you, but a few of them you know. I think that you would be a fantastic teacher too and-" he stopped himself abruptly, mentally berating himself for, what seemed like, the 20th time. "I'll stop rambling now.." His gaze returned to his lap.
The Swede couldn't care less- he even enjoyed Timo's ramblings. They kept their little corner of the room from falling into silence after all. Berwald took a sip of coffee, pretending to not see Timo examining his face as he did so- especially his lips. Timo's violet eyes danced along his whole face but they seemed to linger along his lips for a moment too long. Timo then coughed loudly, trying to shake himself from his daze, making Berwald almost tip coffee all over himself.
"How about life in general? what would you like to do, where would you like to go? Who..." Timo stopped, glancing to the table "Who would you like to spend your life with?"
"You didn't tell me about your job" Berwald spoke immediately, placing his mug back onto the table. He winced at his tone- so demanding. Only he could make a sincere statement seem so rough. But how could he answer Timo's questions? How could he tell the man that sat infront of him now that he is possibly the one- the one he wants to spend his life with anyway.
"Ah, so I didn't" he chuckled, peering through low eyelashes. "Don't laugh, please" His plea actually sounded desperate. "I want to be a stay-at-home parent or a botanist." Timo looked into Berwald's eyes, as if for confirmation of his earlier promise- deeply fearing its ruin.
How is that laughable? How could anyone mock someone as beautifully honest and genuine as Timo?
"They are both admirable jobs and never let anyone else tell you any different. Berwald let his enthusiasm take over every word that came from his mouth. "Not many people do those jobs and even look down on the former but- in my experience- it is one of the only jobs with the hardest working employees."
"Thank you Berwald- I really appreciate it." Timo spoke with a sincere time. It was as though they were truly learning about one another- Berwald wouldn't want to even think of another way of spending his afternoon. "Now you must answer my questions." Timo let out a short laugh, placing his right hand over the left and humming quietly.
"Well, I would like to travel the world. Awfully cliché, I know. Languages are my passion but I don't get a chance to practice them here- and I certainly have no way of practicing them in my small, Northern village. What better way of learning than in the country itself?"
"So you are a man of the world at heart? Despite your act. I mean, it's not an act- we can all get scared every now and then. Not that you are scared, it's that you can cope in the social world" Timo rambled again, getting redder and even more reserved with every word.
"You know that I don't get angry or upset by your words?" Why are you saying this?! "You don't have to amend your words like that- I know what you mean. Language smart after all- as you said earlier." This warranted a light chuckle from Timo. That beautiful noise that resembled a small Christmas bell. Timo nodded without another word, promoting Berwald to continue his future dreams.
"I would still like a house in either England or Canada- they are both places dear to my heart. And I would have a stable domestic life- one full of comfortable nights and adventure-packed days.
Timo let out another laugh- it was sincere though, a laugh of agreement. "You have just described the life that I want. I want all of that and a flower shop of my own. Oh! And a perfect little garden with flowers of all kinds and a seated swing to look at it from. A beautiful husband to share my life with and..." he explained in a half-lidded, dream like state. Berwald clung onto his every word, hoping to be the one to make all of this come true.
"Would you like another drink?" Berwald asked, lifting Timo from whatever part of his brain that he resided in. He looked down into his cup with dismay and nodded. "It's a good job I always keep some money in every clean pair of Jeans that I own."
"Are you sure? I can get them if you cannot afford them' Timo asked, shock filling every part of his being.
"No, it's all ok. You have already brought one set, let me treat you born. Although I will ask if you collect them again. I can't really talk to strangers" Berwald grimaced, peering at the sulking and disinterested shopkeeper. He can't blame her though, there seemed to be no one there.
"Of course, I don't mind being the one who talks" Timo winked and took the money from Berwald. Now,he was left in his own thoughts as he watched the other man leave with the money and the tray. No man's hips should move like that...Then again, they're mesmerising.
Why was he being so open? He hadn't spoken this honeslty to anyone since... Oh my God He hadn't been this open with anyone since his ex boyfriend- Bastian. They used to talk for hours, lay in eachother's arms. They would discuss anything and, more often than not, talk about nothing. That is what is happening here but Berwald refuses to admit it. Timo's smile, Bastian's smile- they both had faces that he could trust.
"God Berwald, why are you like this?" he whispered to himself, placing his hands on his temples. He could fall for any man who smiles at him often enough but this felt differrnt. Only one time before felt like this. Headfirst, blindingly beautiful. Unlike the other time, this was instant. One day was all it took.
"Hey, I got you something too. I figured you might like it" Timo beamed, holding out the tray. On top of it lay two round pastries covered in paper- and the two coffees again. "Cinnamon swirls! They're an all around good cake to get."
"Thank you, but you know that you didn't have to"
"Yes but I wanted to." Timo smiled and Berwald's chest swelled with delight. Every time he saw that simple- but oh so powerful- smile, he felt as though his very heart would burst. "You have kept me company and I am gratful of that. I would like to repay you."
"Thank you" Berwald repeated, closing his eyes as he placed a broken corner of the pastry into his mouth. The vaguely savory, and flaky, pastry was placed in perfect harmony with the cinnamon center. It was still nothing compared to Timo's smile.
"Well, I don't know if you are ready" Timo laughed, bringing Berwald back into a startlingly perfect reality. "But I have a few questions for you." Berwald was willing to answer anything that the the young Finn threw his way.
"By all means" Berwald spoke around his coffee mug "go ahead"
"Well, what do you think of religion? To get serious for a second." Timo asked, genuinely interested in the topic.
"Well, I was raised Christian, by my mother, but I lost faith. I share no opinions on faith other than the fact that everyone is entitled to a religious belief- as long as it is respectful of others. I'm agnostic but I'm far more spiritual." Berwald answered honestly "I hope I didn't offend you"
"No, I agree." Timo nodded with a smile. "Although I do follow my country's old gods. I am a polytheist and a pagan." Now Berwald was not expecting that. "As long as religion is used for peace and comfort, it can be a beautiful thing"
"Which god do you believe in? Being a polytheist." Berwald hoped he had chosen his words better.
"Well, personally, I follow the Finnish deities- Kuu is the one who I work with often. But I do believe that all the gods that we have believe in, or have ever believed in, exist in their respective homes. Whether it be Heaven, or Mount Olympus, or Asgard-" Timo winked "they're all there. Humans chose, or are born into, a religion and they should respect the existence of all gods."
"That is a beautiful belief" Berwald spoke, unsure of what to actually say after that truly stirring speech "And I think you have opened my eyes"
"It wasn't stupid then?" he furrowed his eyebrows and took a sip of his fresh coffee.
"Of course not. I'm surprised you didn't take philosophy with that view on the world" Berwald told him the genuine thought that he had.
"I'm truly honoured you think that!" Timo beamed, taking Berwald's words for what they are- his honest opinion.
"What do you believe happens when we die?" Berwald asked, letting the mood drop to a frightening level of morbidity. He feared that this topic was too morbid for someone as cheerful as Timo- but, then again, Timo seemed like a person who would love any kind of debate.
"Personally, I believe that there is no hell- only a just punishment for those who have commited major crime. Those who have murdered and raped and all those other crimes. Those who have not return to their family and friends to live together again."
"That is spectacular" Berwald mumbled, desperately trying to not think of his own death. He enjoyed speaking about it but the concept of his own demise terrified him to the core. "I believe that we are reunited with our soulmates- whether we have met them in real life"
"You believe in soulmates?" Timo asked, delighted at the mere mention of the topic.
"Of course" how can I not when I'm staring at you "It is a beautiful topic and it should be taken more seriously. The feeling of finally meeting that one person who changes your whole life. The one who makes your entire life burst with colour, when it has been grey, even if you have only known them for one day" You're getting carried away Berwald "the one who makes your life so much more worth living."
"You sound like to speak from experience" Timo replied, raising an eyebrow. Although this was a harmless sentence, Berwald felt it as an attack. It was as though Timo could see straight through him.
"Maybe I am" Berwald mumbled, taking another piece of pastry and hoping that Timo didn't actually hear that.
"What do you think your soulmate would look like?" This was the final straw on the metaphorical camel's back. Berwald's words froze in his throat and his face grew with heat- causing his glasses to steam slightly.
"Hey" the barista sauntered over, much to Berwald's gratitude "I'm gonna have to ask you guys to leave. Manager's told me to shut up early cause of the lack of customers" this was clearly a lie on the red haired woman's part. She probably just wanted an excuse to go home early.
"Ok! Maybe we can help you clean up. What's your name?" Timo smiled at her. Berwald almost felt what seemed like a pang of jealousy fill his chest.
"Thank you. And my name is Juliette. What's yours?" She looked at them both but Berwald knew she was focussed more on Timo. This caused an undescribable rage to pool in the depths of Berwald's stomach. It was so rare for an occasion like this to happen.
"I'm Timo and this is Berwald. He is really sweet, even if he looks scary. Not that I think he's scary though." Timo grinned, Berwald feeling his face flash red again. He almost felt guilty about his previous emotional outburst. He pushed up his glasses and returned their mugs to the front counter.
"Well, I'm sorry but we must be leaving." Timo smiled, helping Juliette with the last chair. Berwald was staring at them both, pretending to finish the washing up that he had completed twenty minutes ago. Maybe he liked her- Berwald couldn't blame him. Juliette was pretty, much prettier than him. Far more talkative too. Juliette and Timo haven't stopped speaking since they met eachother.
"That's ok, I can lock up on my own." Juliette nodded, looking to Berwald "I'm sorry we didn't get to talk much"
Berwald felt his fists clench underneath the table. "Yes, the same to you" The anger welled up in his stomach, trying to not let her see it. "It was nice to meet you."
"Well! I hope I see you guys again. Bye" she exclaimed, waving to them through the frosted glass.
"Are you ok?" Timo asked, holding onto Berwald's arm. He froze at this mere action, trying to form words from his frozen throat. Timo's arm fit perfectly on Berwald's.
"Y.. yes I'm fine. Sorry" Berwald spoke in a voice just above a whisper. He held onto every detail of this moment. Timo's breath circling the unusually cold air. England usually has summer for at least another month before turning colder.
"Thank god! I thought that something was wrong and that you weren't ok." Timo smiled and hummed lightly to himself.
"So, what did you think of Juliette?" Berwald mustered up the courage to ask as they made their way back to the dorms.
"Well she was lovely and- oh? I get it. You think I liked her? Well that won't happen." Timo chuckled to himself, looking forward and away from Berwald's eyes.
"What do you mean?" Berwald managed to stutter out. His entire body tensed at the prospect of those words. He felt that he had said something wrong though.
"Berwald, surely you can't be that oblivious" he laughed, clearly playing on the fact that Berwald cannot read social cues at all. "The thing is- I'm gay Berwald. I wouldn't even like her of I wasn't. Yeah, she is nice and all but she was too talkative. I like someone who counteracts my loudness. Someone who is stoic, and only speaks when something is worth saying. Unlike me.."
By this time, they were standing outside the dorm room. Loud music blared through the thin wall and the door was left wide open. Some drunk man was lay outside the room, his own vomit steamed down his chin. After this, Lukas sauntered out of the room, can of lager in one hand and his copy of The Antichrist in the other. "I'm sorry for such behaviour- it was all Matthais and the German may I add. Join them if you wish."
Berwald gulped and tensed his jaw. Timo simply grinned. Probably at the prospect of getting completely drunk beyond belief.