Saying Goodbye

Chapter 2

You waited, somehow, until Asgore returned home to break the news. Sitting with Toriel, listening to stories of the children that she watched for her neighbors, you felt like you were a kid again. She had said nothing when you reached for painkillers and groaned as you sat down, but you saw the change in her eyes and posture. She said nothing, but when you looked into her eyes, you knew that she knew, deep down.

Sitting between the two huge furry monsters always made you feel small, but today it made you feel even smaller. The air was heavy with words that you did not want to say, but had to. Your father, bless him, cleared his throat and excused himself to make tea for the three of you, giving you some time to collect your thoughts. As you listened to him moving about the kitchen, you smiled. These wonderful, gentle people who took in an unloved and unwanted child, giving them a loving home and family...

They didn't deserve this... Not after... Not after...

Asgore came in, three mugs in his paw-like hands. He handed you the smallest one and sat down again, giving you a concerned smile.

"Now, what is troubling you, child?"

You looked down at the tea, your eyes not seeming to suddenly be made of lead and unable to roll back up to look at your parents. You take a sip of the hot tea, not caring about the burn that your tongue suffered, hoping to wash the taste of the words you had to say back down your throat.

"It's back. It came back. Mom, I didn't want to tell anybody, but... I went to the doctor like you told me to when the pain in my hip didn't go away."

You watched as Asgore's face fell, and Toriel's eyes filled with tears. She didn't say a word when your father set his tea down and pull you into his lap and wrapped his arms around you, as though his mere presence would make your body behave itself again. She scooted over to you two and wrapped herself around you both, her breath shaky.

"What did he say, child? What exactly did he say?"

You felt your control slipping, and you hiccuped out a sob. This was so wrong, you should not be breaking down, you had to be the one who was not touched by this. You had to be the sunlight on the rainy day...

But you couldn't. Your tears fell and mixed with theirs on your clothes, sobbing out your fear and sudden disgust at the body that had betrayed you. You told them that the doctor had done several tests and found that this time, it was not your bones alone. This time, the machines that scanned your insides had spotted something else that was still small, barely the size of a pea, but warned of a potential oncoming threat standing at the edge of your liver.

You screamed and cried and raged, you howled over how unfair it all was that you should have to do this again. You hated your body, you hated your disease-ridden flesh, and you hated yourself most of all, for having to put your beloved family and friends through it all over again.

After your tea had long gone cold and the sky had grown dark, you looked up at your parents with swollen eyes and told them you were tired, you just wanted to sleep. Asgore nodded and released you from his hold, only to lift you again when your stiff joints made you gasp in sudden pain. You manage to force a smile and tell him you are just stiff from sitting in the same position for too long, and he lets you walk upstairs to your old room by yourself.

You are not surprised later when Toriel crawls into the bed with you. When you were sick, she always slept with you. You snuggled down into her soft form and sighed, feeling some comfort that only a mother could give.

"What do you want to do tomorrow, my child? You know that you need to tell the others..."

You nod. You would tell them, in small groups, starting tomorrow.

"I know, mom. I don't know how I am going to tell-"

"I will be with you. He will be distressed. You both will need somebody there to help you make a plan."

You smile. Mom plans always helped. She would help her set up treatments and scheduling and when you got too tired and weak, she would do for you what you might not be able to do for yourself. Just like last time...

"He's going to ditch me. This is going to be too much, he won't be able to handle it..."

Toriel shushed you and smoothed your hair, waiting for you to quiet before speaking again.

"He didn't last time, and this time will be no different."

You hoped she was right.