Alex lay silent and still in the hospital bed, and Olivia sat beside her, clasping her hand tightly. Alex hadn't responded when Olivia had asked whether she wanted something to drink or if she needed to go to the washroom, and it was the deadened look in her eyes that frightened Olivia most, as if her girlfriend was actively dissociating. As if she didn't feel safe with Olivia, as if she didn't know that Olivia would protect her above all else.

Of course she couldn't know that, because Olivia hadn't.

Olivia climbed onto the bed beside Alex as they waited for a doctor to come in. Olivia understood that Alex wasn't the doctors' priority; they first had to tend to the dying and the dead, but it still angered her, although she knew it shouldn't. She took Alex into her arms as the blonde trembled, and gently caressed Alex's cheek. "It's okay," she said for what seemed like the thousandth time. "You're safe now, baby. I'm here."

"It hurts," Alex whimpered, her baby blues darting up to meet Olivia's eyes.

The detective's heart clenched. "I know it does, baby. They're going to give you something for the pain." They'd better, or she would kill those damned doctors herself.

"Olivia – I – I –" She swallowed hard. "Did you see?" she finally asked.

Olivia had no idea what Alex was talking about, but she shook her head, assuming that was what Alex wanted her to do.

Alex buried her head in her hands and squirmed away from Olivia, teetering precariously at the edge of the bed and trembling. "I'm not – he made me – they –"

She bolted upright when the door opened and a doctor entered. She was shivering so hard it was a wonder she hadn't fallen onto the floor, and Olivia pulled her back toward her so that she wouldn't. Alex flinched, and Olivia pressed a gentle kiss to the crown of her head and glared at the doctor as he began to introduce himself. "Ms. Cabot, I'm Dr. Robichaud. I –"

"She needs a female doctor," snapped Olivia, hugging Alex tightly, not even dreaming the doctor would defy her.

He nodded. "Of course. I'm sorry." And he left.

Olivia gently rubbed Alex's back. "It's okay, baby. He's gone. No one's going to hurt you. I'm here. I'll take care of you, princess, I promise."

Alex curled into Olivia. "Liv, I – he – I saw – they killed those women, Liv, right in front of me!"

Olivia's heart constricted, and she felt as if she might be sick. Her poor Alex. "It wasn't your fault, baby. There was nothing you could have done. Your survival was the most important thing, and you did. You were really, really brave, Alex, and I'm proud of you."

Alex bit her lip. "You didn't – you didn't see – he – they – I don't know –"

She fell silent when another doctor entered the room, a woman this time. Alex still tensed and moved closer to Olivia, but she clearly wasn't as afraid as before.

"Detective Benson, Ms. Cabot." The doctor nodded to each of them. "I'm Dr. Macready." She perched on the edge of Alex's bed. "How are you feeling, Ms. Cabot?"

Olivia rolled her eyes and bit back the How do you think she's feeling? that threatened to escape. "She needs pain medication," she said instead. "Morphine. I want you to get her an IV."

Alex vehemently shook her head. "No needles," she whispered. "Please."

"Baby, I know you don't like needles, but that's the most effective way."

"We can't give her morphine yet, Detective. You know that," said Dr. Macready. "We need a rape kit."

Right. Olivia had forgotten about that. She knew Alex wasn't going to be big on another invasion of her privacy, of her body, of her very being, but this time Olivia would be there for her as she hadn't been before. She would make sure nothing bad happened to her Alex.

When she saw the absolute terror in Alex's eyes, she was quick to soothe her girlfriend. "Alex, I know you don't want a rape kit. Believe me, I don't want you to have one either. But it's the only way to put the men who did this to you behind bars, and to make sure you're safe. And baby, I'm going to be right here with you. You can hold my hand the entire time. I won't let you go."

Alex finally nodded. "Okay," she said softly, then rested her head in the crook of Olivia's neck for just a moment. "Liv?"

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"I thought of you," she whispered, and Olivia's heart clenched when she realized what Alex meant.

She threaded her fingers through Alex's hair and held her close. "Oh, baby. I thought of you. Every minute of every day."

Alex smiled weakly and grasped Olivia's hand as tightly as she could.

The doctor stood beside Alex's hospital bed. "Ms. Cabot, I need you to sit up. I'm going to take a fingernail scraping."

Alex shook her head and buried her head in Olivia's shoulder.

Olivia sighed and gently rubbed Alex's back. "Princess, I know you don't want to, but Dr. Macready needs to look under your fingernails. I promise it won't hurt. I'll keep holding you if you like, but you need to let her take the fingernail scraping."

Alex reluctantly pulled her hands out, and Olivia gasped when she saw Alex's fingernails – or lack thereof. They'd been ripped off and her fingers were a scabby mess, caked with dried blood. How hadn't she seen this before?

She'd been too focussed on holding Alex close, on comforting her and making her feel safe once more, on soothing herself with her Alex's presence to inspect her girlfriend's body. She'd figured that it wasn't her place to scrutinize Alex's body and make her feel even more exposed and humiliated than she already was. It was Alex's choice whether or not she wanted to show Olivia her injuries, the physical evidence of her pain, and if she was honest with herself, Olivia would be more than happy if Alex decided against it.

Alex tucked her hands behind her back and lowered her eyes in shame, but Olivia stopped her. She gently took Alex's wrists and brought them to her lips, kissing each finger. "They'll grow back, baby," she murmured. She couldn't let on how upset, how angry, she was. She had to be strong for her Alex.

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