The only time I ever held a gun was on my graduation day. I remember everything about that moment: the smell of alcohol from the broken bottle on the floor, my father's cowering shape in the corner, the wad of cash in my pocket, the cool metal against my sweaty palms. Plenty of times he'd threatened me with that gun, his face a mask of power and rage, but I felt neither angry nor powerful. All I felt was scared out of my goddamn mind.

Wolf hurried across the parking lot, straightening his tie and throwing on the lanyard that held his badge. He had woken up late and rushed to get to work, sacrificing his appearance out of the fear of getting another strike for tardiness. As he jogged up the steps to the door, he realized his shirt was inside-out. He had a vest on, but he doubted it would fool anyone. Taking off his bike helmet and wedging it under his arm, he swiped at his mop of black hair and hustled past the attendance office, flashing his badge at the woman behind the desk. He reached the classroom, panting and fighting the pain in his lungs, only to find that the teacher hadn't arrived yet.

Fifteen third-grade faces gaped up at him.

"Mr. Wolf has his shirt on wrong again!"

"Yeah, and his shoes are untied!"

"Mr. Wolf, I'm eight years old and I know how to tie my shoes."

"Where's Ms. Amelia?"

Wolf stifled a cough, his breath catching up to him. "You tell me, Isabel! I'm the one who's supposed to be late all the time."

A few kids giggled. Wolf set his satchel beside the teacher's desk and noticed a slip of paper with Amelia's handwriting on it. Mr. W.— I will be two hours late for school on Monday due to a dental appointment. Please see my planner for assigned classwork. —Ms. A.

"Looks like you guys are gonna be stuck with me for a while," Wolf announced. "Teacher's out getting her teeth straightened."

"I'm gonna tell Ms. Amelia you said that."

Wolf frowned. "Don't you know what sarcasm is, Richard? And I happen to recall that both your shoes were untied last Wednesday."

Everyone laughed, and the remains of Wolf's anxiety evaporated. If there was one sound he wished he could carry around with him, it would be that one for sure.

He clapped his hands to get their attention. "Okay, let's do some work. Page twenty-eight in your math books."

Groans all around. "What?" Wolf replied. "If we get the worst part over with first, we can goof around until your teacher gets here."

"I hate math!"

"You let us color last time."

"Yeah, why're you making us work?"

"I thought you were fun, Mr. Wolf."

Wolf slumped against the whiteboard. "You guys are gonna make me lose my job, you know."

"We won't tell!"

"Give us the answers again!"

"I want ice cream!"

The classroom erupted into screams and laughter. Wolf stared up at the ceiling, unable to keep the smile off his face. Dammit, I'm such a pushover. Amelia is going to kill me.

He didn't have time to think about Vash until he got back to Chapel Hall that afternoon. Now that Wolf remembered how his roommate had disappeared that morning, he wondered if Vash was ever coming back. He probably requested a room change, Wolf thought. I'm not the easiest person to get along with, anyway. It sounded reasonable in his head, but it made him ache inside. He wandered around outside the building, reluctant to hear the news from Meryl or Millie. Then he saw a familiar shape around the corner.

"Hey, buddy." Wolf reached for the small black cat and stroked its fur. "Haven't seen you in a while."

Last year, he'd noticed the cat following him around between classes. He gave it scraps now and then, but it didn't seem particularly attached to him. He guessed that lots of other students fed the cat, too. Wolf called it Neko.

The cat purred and rubbed its face against his hand. He held the door open to see if it would follow him inside, but Neko trotted off down the sidewalk, other business to attend to. Wolf felt the emptiness creep in again.

Someone else was talking to the R.A. girl at the desk, so Wolf passed them without a word. When he got to the room, he almost didn't want to look inside, but he gritted his teeth and turned the key.

"Wolf! You're back."

All the pressure inside him collapsed. "So are you."

Vash had a laptop open on the desk, one earphone in. His genuine smile had returned. "Man, you must have a lot of classes. I haven't seen you all day."

Wolf loosened his tie and dropped his satchel beside the desk. "Actually, I just got back from work. Most of my classes are in the evening."

"You have a job?" Vash looked amazed.

"It's only a part-time thing. I'm a teacher's aide."

"Wow." Vash rocked back in the chair. "No wonder you look so tired all the time."

Wolf didn't respond. He wanted to ask where Vash had gone that morning, but he figured it was none of his business.

"Your shirt's inside-out," Vash remarked.

"So I've been told."

He waited until Vash had turned back to the computer before he started to change clothes. Wolf was used to living with other people, he'd spent most of his childhood cramped in boarding school dormitories, and stayed in a hostel over the last summer break. But something about this situation felt different.

"Doing anything before class?" Vash asked.

Wolf dug an old T-shirt and a pair of jeans out of the dresser. "Probably going to work on my bike."

"You drive a motorcycle?"

"Um, kind of. I mean, it's still a work in progress."

"Can I see it?" Vash leaped up so fast that the earphone ripped out of his ear.

Wolf put the shirt on quickly. "I don't know…"

"Come on, I don't even have a car! Not that I could drive one. I wreck everything I touch."

"Then you'd better not touch my bike."

"I won't! I promise!"

Vash hid his hands in his pockets to demonstrate. Wolf watched him curiously, then said, "Fine."

They walked downstairs to the atrium, Vash pestering Wolf with questions, until Millie waved them over to the desk. "Mr. Wolfwood! Mr. Vash!"

"Millie!" Vash already seemed to be on good terms with her. He gave her a high five and laughed that annoying laugh of his. "Where's Meryl? Wanna go see Wolf's bike?"

Wolf elbowed him, but Millie just shrugged and laughed. "I'm on duty until six. But we're both off tomorrow night, so we're going to a party. You guys should come!"

"Deal!" Vash agreed.

"Maybe," Wolf amended.

"I hope so! It's going to be really fun. Meryl's the best shot in town!"

As they walked toward the door, Wolf tried to decipher what her last statement could have possibly meant, but he reached no conclusion. Vash didn't appear to be concerned.

"Millie's awesome, isn't she? We have an art class together!"

"She's an art student, then?" Wolf asked.

"No, I think she's in the business school. Wants to do construction or something. We're both just taking the class for fun."

They had crossed the parking lot, but there was no sign of a motorcycle. "Where's your bike?" Vash asked.

"I don't like to leave it out in the open," Wolf said. "I found a good hiding place last year. It's sort of like my garage."

He led Vash over the lawn toward a cluster of smaller dormitories, then cut through a courtyard between the buildings. Behind one of the freshman dorms, partially hidden by a row of overgrown hedges, there was a supply shed that looked like it hadn't been used in years. The front door was padlocked, but Wolf pushed through the shrubs and revealed a small door hanging open. He paused before taking Vash inside.

"You can't tell anyone about this, okay? It took me a long time to save up for the parts. I don't want it to get stolen."

Vash raised his right hand solemnly. "My lips are sealed."

Wolf reached inside the door and flipped a switch on the wall. A single lightbulb flickered to life. Vash peered over Wolf's shoulder.

Silence. Then, with an edge of disbelief, "That's your bike?"

"Yeah. What?"

"That's not a motorcycle."

"I told you, it's a work in progress."

"It's a bicycle."

"No, it's not."

"It's a bicycle with a lawn mower engine attached."

"Shut up, all right? You have no clue how long this took me to build."

"Does it even run?"

"Look, I didn't bring you out here so you could insult her."

"Are you sure it's a she? I've seen farm implements prettier than that thing."

Wolf grabbed his shoulders and pushed him into the hedge. Vash started to laugh. "Wait, did you give her a name? Are you taking her to Millie's party?"

He had to duck to avoid Wolf's swinging fists. "Okay, okay!" Vash yelled. "I'm sorry!"

"You're gonna be sorrier in about three seconds!" Wolf roared, but Vash was too quick for him. He snaked out of the hedge and sprinted toward the courtyard with Wolf on his heels. Before long, Vash was yards away and Wolf was bent over with his hands on his knees, coughing up a lung. He finally slumped down in the grass, staring up at the bright blue sky. He couldn't help laughing. No one had bothered him this much in years. And he had to admit, it was fun.

Wolf's first class of the semester was an Introduction to Religious Ethics course. He had gotten there early, along with a few other students, and he was half-listening to their scattered conversations when he heard someone mention Vash's name.

"You mean Vash the Stampede?" another person said. "My brother used to go to school with that guy. He said he got kicked out for, like, smashing through a window or something."

"I heard he got into a fight and put all these guys in the hospital."

"Yeah, they called him the human hurricane. Remember all those disasters in the news? They all happened at schools he went to."

"Didn't he transfer from U.J.?"

"There was that big fire there last year."

The discussion turned to the July incident, and Wolf's attention wandered. They had to be talking about someone else. The Vash he'd met yesterday was about as dangerous as a goldfish. But then he recalled the scars he'd seen on Vash's arm. The nightmare, the empty smile. Where did he come from? What had happened to him, to cause that kind of pain?

"Whatever you think it is, it's not." Those were the words Vash had said. Whatever those other people had heard, they were probably wrong, too.

After the professor arrived, after the lecture was over, the questions still lurked in Wolf's mind. He wouldn't learn the answers anytime soon. Vash was gone when he returned to their room, and Wolf was too tired from the sleepless night before to wait for him to show. He sprawled on the floor with his arms behind his head and fell asleep with the light on.

He awoke to the sound of snoring. A pale shaft of sunlight seeped through the curtains and stung his eyes. His back was stiff and he had a knot in his neck. Groaning, he tilted his head to ease the soreness.

Vash was sleeping beside him.

Wolf blinked a few times. He glanced up at the empty bed, then back down to the snoring boy next to him.

"Hey." Wolf's voice felt raw. When he received no reply, he shook Vash's shoulder.

Nothing.

He noticed with increasing exasperation that Vash had stolen the blanket from him. The snoring grew louder.

Wolf grabbed the corner of the blanket and yanked it back, rolling Vash off of the comforter. He woke with a start.

"What the hell are you doing down here?" Wolf demanded.

Vash curled up like a dying spider. "Not so loud," he whimpered, covering his head with his arms.

So that's it. "Hungover already? It's not even the third day—" Wolf stopped. The sleeve of Vash's shirt had slipped back, uncovering a fresh set of scars on his left arm.

Wolf felt a cold wave of some emotion he could not name. Fear? Sadness? Anger? It all blended together. Should he say something? Or pretend he hadn't noticed?

In the end, he went with his second instinct. "Almost ten o'clock," he said, squinting at his phone. "Good thing it's my day off."

"Mine, too," Vash mumbled. As far as Wolf could tell, every day was Vash's day off.

He went about his morning routine more noisily than usual, until Vash sat up rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Where are you going?"

Wolf finished tying his shoes and picked up his satchel. "The library. Gonna get a cup of coffee."

"They have coffee in the library?" Vash was astounded. "Wait a minute, I'll come with you."

He didn't have to wait very long. Vash had apparently slept in his clothes from the night before, and his pale messy hair was a permanent bedhead, anyway. Wolf noticed that he had pulled his sleeve back down, but there were small dark pinpricks where the blood had soaked through. On their way downstairs, he failed to think of a way to mention the stains.

Meryl was on duty at the R.A. desk. She gave them a succinct nod, businesslike as usual. At least she's not a morning person, Wolf thought. That's one thing we have in common.

Vash wasn't his conversational self that morning, either. Their walk to the library was peaceful, and it wasn't until they'd stood in line at the coffee shop for several minutes that Vash spoke up in surprise.

"Wolf! You never told me they have doughnuts here!"

He had the look of a bear in a butcher shop. Wolf stared at him blankly. "I wasn't aware I was withholding vital information."

Vash didn't hear him. He was too busy bartering with the barista. "A bag of doughnuts, please!"

"How many?"

"Thirty dollars' worth!"

Wolf was too awestruck to speak to him until he'd had a few sips of coffee. He watched Vash across the table they shared, the shaggy-haired boy scarfing down doughnuts and singing their praises with way too much enthusiasm. Wolf tried to piece together the rumors he'd heard last night with the person sitting in front of him, and he felt more clueless than ever.

"So, uh…Vash. Meryl told me you were a transfer student."

"Yeah, University of July," Vash replied. Which, with a mouthful of doughnuts, sounded more like, "Yunivery ajure I."

Well, that one checks out. "What are you studying?"

A shrug, then he finally swallowed. "Nothing in particular. What about you?"

"Religion."

Vash offered Wolf a doughnut, but Wolf shook his head, so he shoved it into his mouth. "I thaw you wern relijurf."

"I'm not. I mean, I guess I'm still figuring that out. But I don't want to go into ministry work."

"War you wanna do?"

Wolf took another sip of coffee. "I don't know for sure. I know that I want to work with kids. You know, kids who've had it rough. I'm doing my practicum as a mentor at this church downtown, and that's going well. If I could end up doing something like that every day, I'd be happy."

Vash had finished eating, and Wolf suddenly felt embarrassed. Somehow the conversation had gotten turned around on him, and he'd bared more of his soul than he'd intended. But Vash seemed truly interested.

"That's really cool," he said quietly, sugar still clinging to his lips. "You have so much of your life planned out already. I can't imagine working that hard."

Wolf thought this was a bit of an overstatement. He was just doing what he could to get by. Ever since he left his hometown, he'd worked constantly to save money and put himself through college. He'd been lucky to get the job at Augusta Elementary. Not very many people had the opportunity to get paid for doing what they loved.

To be honest, he wanted to know how Vash managed to coast along with neither a job nor any career aspirations and still be able to afford his weight in doughnuts, but Wolf thought it might be rude to ask.

"How long were you at U.J.?" he asked instead.

"About a year, I guess. Before that I was in May City for a few semesters, and before that I went to Octovern State College. Or was it December?"

"Wait a minute. How long have you been in college?"

Vash counted on his fingers. "Four, five, six…I've lost count! Let's see, I'm twenty-four, so that means—"

"Twenty-four?" Wolf howled. "You're kidding, right?"

Vash smiled innocently, his fingers still splayed. "Why? How old are you?"

Wolf couldn't believe it. No way was this freeloading, doughnut-eating, party-going pretty boy five years older than he was.

"I'm…" Wolf started, but couldn't finish.

"Twenty-one? Twenty-two? Don't tell me, I'm good at this."

"Nine…"

"Twenty-nine? Wow, I thought you seemed mature, but I wouldn't have guessed—"

"Nineteen."

Even over the roar of the cappuccino machine, Wolf swore he heard an echo. His face felt twenty degrees too hot. When he dared to look up at Vash, it rose another ten.

"What are you smiling about?" Wolf growled.

"You…are…adorable!" Vash reached over to ruffle his hair, and Wolf wriggled away, grimacing. "You've got this whole stoic tough guy attitude, and you're battling life's greatest quandaries and all, but underneath you're just a little teenager!"

"Shut up! We're practically the same age!"

"And you blush when you get mad! That's so cute!"

"I'm gonna break your goddamn nose!"

"Excuse me," the barista interrupted. "Please take your bizarre conversation outside. People are trying to study in here."

Vash went out after they got back to the dorm, so Wolf spent most of the day in silence, getting a head start on his ethics homework. When he opened the window to smoke a cigarette, Neko the cat sprang up on the sill.

"How'd you get up here?" Wolf leaned out to view the two-story drop. The cat pushed its face against his chin, then hopped onto his lap and curled up for a nap. Wolf pet the cat absently while he smoked, and he was about to doze off, too, when there was a knock on the door. Neko leaped away and hid under the bed. Wolf put out his cigarette and got up to see who was there.

A guy with blue hair was standing at the door. His dark gray eyes cut into Wolf like steel. But when he spoke, his voice sounded bored, disinterested. "Is Vash here?"

Wolf shook his head. "Who are you?"

"I have a message for Vash, but I'd rather give it to him in person. Do you know when he will return?"

"I think you have the wrong room." Wolf wasn't sure why he lied. All he knew was that he didn't trust this person, and he didn't want Vash anywhere near him.

Those gray eyes didn't seem to trust Wolf, either. The last thing the guy said before Wolf closed the door was, "I'll be back again."

Then he was gone. Wolf sank down to the floor as the cat crawled out from under the bed.

"You had the right idea, Neko. Next time that creep comes around, I'm hiding under there with you."

He couldn't shake the feeling of dread that the encounter had left behind. As the day wore on, Wolf found it harder and harder to separate the facts he knew about Vash from the questions that continued to outnumber them.

Wolf returned from class that night to find Vash, Meryl, and Millie waiting for him in the atrium. He had forgotten about the party that Millie had invited them to. In fact, parties were among Wolf's least favorite events to attend, but he could hardly say no to the three smiling faces before him.

"Millie's got the keg and I've got the whiskey!" Vash shouted. "Put your party hat on and let's go!"

Meryl's station wagon was parked outside. It was a particularly ugly vehicle, faded blue with imitation wood paneling. Meryl had to try a few times to get it started, the engine coughing as it turned over. Wolf noticed with aggravation that Vash, who'd been so quick to ridicule his bike, had nothing to say about Meryl's dumpster of a car.

The next few minutes were a blur. Millie and Vash talked excitedly about some horror movie they'd both seen, Meryl teased Millie about how she'd cried during the scary parts, and Millie retaliated by describing how Meryl hadn't let go of her hand throughout the entire movie. Wolf had nothing to add to the conversation, but he felt comfortable with everyone talking around him, with Vash sitting so close to him in the backseat of the car. He noticed when Millie laid her head on Meryl's shoulder, and Meryl took one hand off the wheel to loop her arm in Millie's. Maybe it was simply because they weren't on duty that they felt they could be closer, but Wolf hoped it had something to do with how they saw him, too. There were so few people he'd met that were like him, like who he wanted to be. From the moment he'd seen Meryl and Millie together in the atrium on that first day, he'd wanted to tell them how much hope they'd given him. How he wished he had their bravery.

All four of them stuck together once they got to the house, which made the noise and the crowds and the drinking a lot easier for Wolf to bear. He had a couple of beers, but mostly he sat around watching Meryl and Vash, who were engaged in some kind of drinking contest that involved arm wrestling while taking shots of whiskey.

"No one's ever beaten Derringer Meryl," Millie boasted to Wolf. "She may be small, but she packs a punch."

They were on their fifth or sixth shot, and Wolf could see Vash's arm shaking. Millie refilled the shot glasses in their spare hands, then shouted, "Bang!"

Meryl and Vash threw back the whiskey and slammed their empty glasses down at the same time. For a moment, Meryl had the advantage, but Vash's wrist snapped up again and Meryl began to sweat.

"Towel!" Meryl shouted, and Millie came to her rescue with a dishrag.

"Hey, that's not fair!" Vash yelled. His concentration broken, Meryl saw her chance and forced his arm down a good six inches.

"Bang!"

Vash struggled to hold his arm up while taking the shot. Meryl had a smug grin on her face.

"Shoot him dead, Meryl!" Millie cheered.

Even Wolf was getting into it now. "Are you gonna lose to that little girl, Vash?"

"Bang!"

Vash dropped his glass as soon as he swallowed. His face nearly turned purple. Then Meryl slammed his arm against the table, and he slid out of his chair and collapsed on the floor.

"I win!" Meryl pumped her fist in the air and took a triumphant swig from the bottle of whiskey.

"Didn't I tell you she's the best shot in town?" Millie grabbed the bottle from Meryl and took a long drink, which made her lose her balance.

"Easy, Stun Gun." Meryl smiled, steadying Millie in her arms. Millie leaned into her and kissed her on the lips. Meryl went slack for a moment, weaving her hand through Millie's hair, but then she sat up and pushed her back gently. "Now, cut that out. It's not fair to the loser."

"Yeah, what about me?" Vash lamented drunkenly from the floor.

"You've got Mr. Wolfwood," Millie said as she went for the bottle again. "Don't you think they'd make a cute couple, Meryl?"

Meryl blushed deeply, and Wolf could only hope his face wasn't as red as hers. He didn't dare look at Vash.

But Vash was laughing. "I'll show you, cheater! I can out-romance you any day!" And suddenly Vash had his arms around Wolf and he was kissing him so hard he almost knocked his chair over. And Wolf didn't have time to think about how his breath burned in his mouth or how his face felt like he'd shaved or how he could see the freckle beneath his closed eyelid because Vash let him go and said "Bet you wish you were the loser now, Meryl!" and Millie laughed and the music was loud and God he needed to get out of here, he needed a cigarette, and Vash was drunk and that wasn't a kiss, it was a joke. It was only a joke.

He made his escape while they were pouring another round of drinks, and retreated to the front porch to smoke. It was a cold, cloudless night, and the sting of the wind brought him back to reality. The warmth he'd felt in the car on the way there had disappeared. This wasn't a place for him. Wolf exhaled a plume of smoke and watched it dissolve under the stars.

Vash came looking for him later. He put his hand on Wolf's shoulder and said, "We should do that again sometime."

It could have meant anything. And so, Wolf thought, he had no choice but to believe that it meant nothing at all.