Chapter Text
An emptiness hung around Jemma for the rest of the day, even though it was as lovely a day as there had ever been. Everywhere she turned, she saw Fitz and all that they could have been; she found herself turning excitedly to mention something to him, only to find his space occupied by a lonely spring breeze. It was strange, her logical brain argued, that after so short a time, she already felt so close to him. Not for the first time, she wondered if they had known each other already, perhaps outside the System. She harbored such a powerful desire to never be without him, that it only seemed possible.
Jarvis beeped again that evening, as she sat alone in a grassy field. She had been picking at the green shoots, dazed, and tossing them away from her. All around her crossed legs, the ground was growing bald, and as she was torn from her thoughts, she felt a ping of regret.
"Sorry." She whispered to the ground, wiping earth off her fingers. She picked up the device, and checked the name that flashed on the screen. Part of her was surprised that another match had been selected so quickly, and was happy to see what the System had in store for her next. Another, quieter part of her wanted to chuck the device into the trees, not ready quite yet to officially say goodbye to Fitz.
But she stood, sighing, and set off to change. Mechanically, she pulled on a dress and a pair of sensible shoes, forfeiting the Doc Martens that she had worn the day before for a pair of flats. Somehow, the Doc Martens reeked of Fitz and their casual date. Jarvis told her to meet her new match, a man named Will Daniels, at table 35 at the very same restaurant where she and Fitz had dined in the night before, which almost felt like an insult to him and their connection.
She walked the same path to the restaurant, and found herself less nervous but more apprehensive than before. The hostess took her device, scanned it, then took her to the table, identically decorated from the date with Fitz. Unlike the previous night, when Fitz had swooped in out of breath and late, Jemma was surprised that her match was already there. Pushing her thoughts away, Jemma smiled at him and he stood.
"Hi. I'm Will." He told her, his voice gravely. He was American.
"Jemma." She reached out and took his hand. "Jemma Simmons."
"You look beautiful." He told her, and she looked at the ground, feeling her cheeks flush slightly.
"You look nice too." She said. "Have you been here long?"
They both settled into their chairs, and Will smiled. "Fourteen years."
Surprised, hand freezing on her wine glass, Jemma blinked. "What?"
"I've been in the System for fourteen years. Apparently I'm hard to find a match for." He replied, grimacing.
"Oh." She managed, not quite sure how to respond. She fidgeted in her seat, and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Ohhh. You meant the restaurant, didn't you?" He realized.
Jemma's little nod was all the answer he needed.
"Sorry. Although, honestly, I'm glad we got that out of the way." He reached out to the wine bottle and uncorked it, pouring her a large portion.
"Right. Well, I'm fairly new." She told him. "Only had one match before this."
"Oh." He responded knowingly. "Gotcha."
The silence that stretched after her confession was rather awkward, and she cleared her throat and tried to smile at him. He wasn't unattractive, honestly. He had large shoulders and gentle brown eyes, and a thick beard that made him look older than he probably was. His brown hair stuck up around his forehead, and his button-down didn't fit him very well, but he smiled kindly at her and she tried to relax. He was her match, after all. The System probably knew her better than she knew herself; he deserved a chance.
"Could we check the expiry?" Jemma found herself asking.
"Yeah." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his device. "On three? One, two-"
"Three." Jemma finished for him, pressing her thumb on the darkened screen. Immediately a number popped up, already timing their minutes together.
"Wow." Will spoke before she could get the words out.
"Six months." She agreed. "That's quite a long time."
"You and I are destined to be pretty close, I think." He raised a wine glass in a toast to her. "To us"
She mirrored him with just a hint of disappointment. "To us."
They talked amicably for an hour or two in between bites of food, and Jemma decided that six months with him weren't going to be horrible. In fact, she found him rather sweet, although not quite as intelligent as Fitz had been. He was a good listener, and agreed with her on most accounts, and in fact, she silently decided that she and Will would make good friends after all. Granted, she wasn't entirely sure if she would have ever chosen him as a romantic partner herself, but that, of course, was what the System was for. Every brain wave for the next six months would bring her one step closer to her match.
Will kissed her that night, and she didn't fight it. Instead she kissed him back and ran her fingers through his hair, and they fell into bed together. Since they were going to be together for six months, Jemma thought it was only logical that they become physically intimate as soon as possible. In between his scratchy kisses and her exaggerated moans, Jemma tried not to let her mind wander to Fitz, or to what he was doing. But she found such a thing to be impossible. Had he found his match already, all thoughts of her abandoned? Or was he thinking of her, pressed against the slim body of someone else? She imagined Fitz's hands grasping hers above her pillow, and the slow grind of his hips against hers, and the way he would sigh her name with an accent that twisted at his lips, and soon Jemma was gasping into Will's ear and arching her back into him.
Maybe it wasn't fair to Will that she had set him up to an impossible standard, but by the same token she couldn't fight what she felt for her first match. She fell asleep that night to Will's heavy snores, and in a last-ditch attempt to ignite feeling in her, to ignitesomething,Jemma reached across the mattress and clasped her hand in his. He didn't stir, and Jemma's heart sank as she remembered the way Fitz had run his thumb across her knuckles, and how warmth had flooded her chest from the inside out. Holding Will's hand didn't feel like anything.
After that, she resigned herself to six months with Will and no more.
Whenever a True Match was made in the System, it was cause for a massive celebration, and so four months into Will and Jemma's relationship, they walked hand in hand to an outdoor courtyard in the shadow of a massive stone building. It was decorated beautifully; lights were strung from trees and streamers of light pink and red dangled artfully from bunches of white balloons. There were a few round tables covered in delicate white cloth and little paper doilies and hearts, and then a massive table of food pushed along the outer wall. Jemma smiled looking at it; there were bowls of fresh fruit and other finger foods, and a few steaming serving platters of steak, potatoes, pasta, and fresh bread. Circling through the throng of well-dressed couples were servers in bow ties, holding up trays of bubbling champagne with floating strawberries. Will handed Jemma one just as the service really began, and a happy couple mounted the stage before them, beaming from ear to ear.
Everyone clapped politely, but Jemma began to tune out the speech as soon as it began. Finished with her glass, Jemma glanced guiltily at Will's and found it to be still full. Sneaking his glass out of his hands and exchanging it for hers, Jemma took a gulp of Will's champagne, thinking that Will was, in fact, rather good at playing a resigned boyfriend.
"-believe in the System!" The woman was saying. "It really works!"
"I'm so lucky to have found her-" The man added.
Rolling her eyes, Jemma finished her champagne, and put it on the tray of a passing server. Eyes scanning the throng, Jemma took in all of the other couples. Most all of them were watching the service happily, hanging off the arms of their partners, and Jemma fought the urge to scoff loudly. There were too many light colors for Jemma's liking, and she hated how everyone's undivided attention was on the couple of the hour. Jemma couldn't imagine ever wearing pastel blue like them, nor acting so hopelessly lovesick in public, and the puppy eyes of lovey-dovey couples began to make her feel slightly ill; being with Will had made her terribly cynical, she realized. Then, idea forming, she looked to the snack table and found it to be blissfully ignored.
"I'll be right back." She hissed into Will's ear, and he nodded.
She weaved in between couples until she reached the snack bar. Grabbing a plate, she began to fill it with everything: green beans, melon, lemon rice, brie, and crackers. She bit into a cheese-smeared piece of french bread and closed her eyes to hum in appreciation, the taste light and savory on her tongue.
"Hey, you." Someone nudged her elbow, and she turned, surprised.
"Fitz!" She exclaimed, covering her mouth as she finished chewing. She looked around them, quickly, to see if her outburst had interrupted the ceremony. At least for now, no one was paying her any attention, not even Will.
Fitz, for his part, looked wonderful; bathed in the afternoon sunlight, his hair was a faint gold and she could see the flecks of green in his blue eyes. With his hands in his pockets, he looked happy and at ease, and her whole heart flushed at the sight. Before she could stop herself, she launched herself into him and wrapped her arms around his neck. He laughed as he responded just as eagerly, pulling her to him tightly. Being so close to him, Jemma was forcefully transported back to their night together, and reminded how comfortable she had been when she had awoken on top of his chest in the early morning. He smelled the same now, like aftershave and clean laundry, and she breathed him in.
When they broke apart, she thought she might be actually glowing. Her smile stretched so tightly that it hurt, and she reached out to punch his arm fondly, unable to keep apart from him for a single moment. "How have you been?"
"Good." He told her. "Starving, though."
"As usual." She joked. "I actually thought of you when we came in, there's a serving platter of steak at the end of the table that I bet you'd enjoy."
His eyes brightened and his mouth opened. "You're joking."
Grinning, she shook her head. She followed him, chuckling, as he made a beeline for the food, and watched almost exasperatedly as he piled it all up on his plate.
"Honestly, I don't know where you put it all." She joked, impressed, as he tucked in. "You're so skinny."
"Thanks?" He said quizzically, stuffing some food in his mouth.
"No, I mean it in a good way. You're fit." She clarified, and then flushed. She hoped he couldn't tell by her expression how much she liked his body, and how often she fantasized about his lean muscles straining against her.
"Right." The tips of his ears had turned pink, but he pressed on tactfully. "How have you been? Are you here with someone?"
Jemma turned and scanned the crowd of bright faces until she found him. Pointing, she said, "Yes. He's just there, in the blue."
"Hmm."
"His name is Will." Jemma explained, turning back to Fitz with a smile that felt ingenuine. "We've been together for four months now."
Craning his neck to get a good look at him, Fitz shrugged and scrunched his nose, feigning unimpressed. "He's got a hog face."
Giggling, Jemma slapped his arm and he exaggerated his painful reaction. "He does not!"
"What? I'm notsupposedto like him, am I? Being a past boyfriend of yours and all." He justified himself.
"It was only 12 hours."Jemma reminded him, her ears ringing with the wordboyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriendon a loop.
"Still. Look at his puffy lips. I bet he's a horrible kisser-"
"Why don't you go see for yourself?" Jemma taunted, playing along.
"Maybe I will. Maybe he'smymatch." Fitz chuckled.
"Stop that." She closed her eyes, trying to brandish the image of the two of them together. "I just ate."
Fitz laughed and Jemma sighed, speaking more quietly so as not to be overheard. "So maybe he's not the best kisser but he's…" she cast her mind around for the right word. "Great."
Raising an eyebrow, Fitz repeated her sarcastically. "Great?"
"Great." She repeated, less sure now.
With one sceptical glance from Fitz she sighed, deflating. Of course, even after months apart, Fitz could see right through her. "Okay, he's not great. But I'm trying to make the best of it. Got two months left anyway." She told him, lowering her voice.
Fitz nodded kindly, all hints of mocking gone. He nudged her elbow, gently. "Hey, I get it. No need to explain. Sorry."
But Jemma had forgotten how easy it was to be open with Fitz, and she found her next words falling out of her mouth without much thought. "I miss you, Fitz."
For a second, he was quiet. The courtyard around them erupted in applause as the true match couple embraced onstage in a shower of pink balloons, but he just blinked. The water in the lake beside them sparkled with sunlight, and the trees sighed in a light breeze. Glancing up nervously, she was suddenly caught in his blue eyes, and the soft reverent gaze of his that was so endearing. "I miss you too." He told her, without a trace of irony. "I've been with Aida for months, and haven't felt a fraction with her of what I felt with you."
"Same with Will." She admitted. "It's unfair."
"It's the System." Fitz said, softly.
"I know. 99.9% match, guaranteed." Jemma repeated the slogan, mockingly. "Doesn't change the fact that I miss you."
"Me neither."
Sadly, Jemma smiled. "So...where is this Aida? Do I get to say she has a hog face?"
Fitz grinned, and looked around the crowd. Finding her, he pointed, and Jemma looked at her with some jealousy. The woman was gorgeous, tall, and skinny, with brown hair that curled lightly around her shoulders. Not a single hair was out of place. In fact, she didn't look to have a single blemish, and could have fit right in with the models that walked fashion runways. "Wow." Jemma conceded, almost angry. "She's beautiful."
"Yeah, I suppose. But she's kinda hard to talk to. Sort of robotic, if you know what I mean. And yeah, she's stunning but I prefer a classical beauty, myself." He shrugged, looking back at Jemma with a playful smile. Then something caught his eye and he nodded with his chin, moving like he wanted to duck behind her. "Oh, incoming."
Turning, Jemma saw Will approaching them, a cool smile on his face. "Ready to go, Jems?" He asked.
"I suppose." She lied.
"Who's this?" Will asked, his chest puffing out in an act of unconscious defense.
"Oh, right!" Jemma hastened to make introductions. "Will, this is Fitz. Fitz, Will."
"Oh, so this is the famous Fitz!" Will's smile looked ingenuine. "The first match."
"Yes." Jemma confirmed, feeling slightly awkward. "We just bumped into each other at the snack table. Fitz could never resist a good steak platter."
"What can I say, I'm a growing boy." Fitz shrugged. "But I should be getting back to Aida. Nice to meet you, Will."
Will gave a curt nod to Fitz, who responded in turn. As he left, Jemma gripped Fitz's elbow tightly in farewell, and he gave her an encouraging smile. It felt almost as if they had exchanged a secret with their eyes. Then he slipped from her grasp and left, and Jemma wished that she had said more. Cursing herself, she felt silly for trying to conveyanythingas powerful as a goodbye with just a tight squeeze of her hand. Jemma and Will made their way back up the path to their house, and she wondered how she felt simultaneously lighter and heavier than she had in months. Fitz made her feel like she was dancing atop of the clouds, but she deflated at the thought of two more eternal months with Will. Maybe then, after two more months,maybesomething good would happen. She didn't want to hold her breath.
In the end, Jemma watched the countdown clock on her device like it was her prison sentence. With every day that clicked by, with every nothing kiss she and Will shared, with every fitless sleep, she told herself that she was getting closer to the end. And when it finally did, she was surprised at how little she felt. Will was kind up until the last moment, but it was clear to both of them that they had not been each other's true match. They wished each other well, and bid each other goodbye, and suddenly the sunshine on Jemma's back was warmer, brighter, and more beautiful. She had barely walked away from their shared house when her device beeped.
"You have another match." Jarvis said.
Heart falling, Jemma looked at the name on the screen.Milton Stephens,it read.
A whole two months later, Jemma bid goodbye to Milton. She held her device in her hand and willed it not to beep again, just so that she could have some peace and quiet. Milton had talked endlessly, and she had barely gotten a word in in eight weeks. And what was worse, he had been utterly clueless in bed, and Jemma felt as though she hadn't been properly happy for the better part of a year. Since Fitz, she thought hopelessly.
Her device beeped, and she turned it angrily over in her hand, already hating whatever name was sure to come up on the screen. Then suddenly, where her body had just been so numb, it was shivering with warmth.Leo Fitz,the screen showed.