Sh t Happens Chapter 2, a bad girls fanfic

Disclaimer: I do not claim to own the characters from Bad Girls, they are the property of Shed Productions with the exception of Laura Gossard who is completely fictional from my own head, innit. They are used here without permission, purely for entertainment purposes, not profit.

As this is my first attempt at writing a BG-based story, I would be grateful of any feedback.

Shit Happens - Chapter Two

"I'd like everyone, and I mean everyone," Karen looked pointedly from Jim to Sylvia, "to make a special effort with Nikki Wade at the moment. If she wants to talk let her. Be sympathetic and listen to her but don't try to force her to talk. We all know she has a temper, so avoid saying anything that could be taken the wrong way. Helen has said that she will keep an eye on her when she's here, but she can't be around all the time. I also want you to keep an eye on her," pausing for a second, Karen flicked a sidelong glance at Helen, "in case she tries to harm herself. We can't take any chances." Karen felt Helen look at her and then quickly focus on the ground in front of her, trying to stifle the emotions welling up inside.

"She's not likely to top herself, is she?" Jim said. It was more of a statement than question. "I mean, she's got the possibility of her appeal and everything, and she's got good reason to want to get out of here." Jim sneered at Helen, making sure she caught his full meaning.

"That may well be the case, but Nikki might not be thinking as rationally as that right now." It was all Helen could do to stop herself from slapping Fenner's smug, knowing face. She thought about asking Karen to keep him away from Nikki as much as possible for the time being. Her replacement was already one step ahead.

"Jim, I think it might be best if you keep out of Nikki's way for a while." Both Helen and Jim looked at her stunned, Helen wondering how she had the balls to do that in front of the other officers and Jim not believing what he was hearing. "Well, you do seem to have a somewhat inflammatory effect on her temper. The last thing she needs is to lash out in the heat of the moment and damage her chances of appeal."

'Nicely done,' thought Helen biting back a smile, thankful that Karen seemed to have Jim's card well and truly marked. "I'll leave you to it, if you're done with me. I'd like to see Nikki, now." Helen's walked out of the door to the officers' office ignoring the silent exchange between Jim and Sylvia.

"Of course." Karen watched Helen go, wondering what it was about Nikki that had made her Helen's primary concern, even before Tricia's death. She also noted the hostility emanating from Jim and Sylvia and determined to keep an eye on that.

Nikki was staring out of the small barred window as she heard a key turn in the lock of her cell door. She did not move as the door swung open, not wanting her hopes to be dashed if it was not Helen standing behind her. The atmosphere inside the tiny room was tense and even though she knew Nikki would never do anything to hurt her, Helen found herself on edge. Closing the heavy door as quietly as she could, she stepped across to within arms reach of Nikki, who still had not acknowledged her presence.

"How are you feeling? Did you get much sleep last night?" Helen's soft lilting Scottish accent washed over Nikki, helping to ease some of her tension.

"I didn't think you'd come. I thought they'd try and keep you busy elsewhere to keep you away from me. Maybe you should. I mean, it's got to look suspicious, you spending so much time with me. I don't want you getting into trouble. I couldn't bear you not being here again." Nikki had slowly turned to face Helen as she spoke. Even in the dim light of the cell, Helen could see Nikki's eyes were bloodshot and surrounded by dark circles. Not a restful night then, she concluded.

"I've got the governor's permission to spend as much time with you as I feel necessary. She's worried about you."

"More like she's worried that I'll become another suicide statistic." The bitterness in Nikki's voice and the mention of suicide scared Helen, an emotion that obviously showed on her face. The tall inmate wrapped her arms around Helen. "Don't worry, I won't do anything stupid. I couldn't leave you. It nearly kills me everytime you walk out of the door, why would I do something that would mean never seeing you again?" Helen knew she didn't need to answer that question and that Nikki was simply referring to suicide, but anything that would result in her being transferred to another prison, too.

"I need to talk to you in my office. I'd rather do it there. I don't want Mr Fenner or Miss Hollamby walking by and causing a problem." Helen avoided Nikki's questioning stare, not wanting to say any more. She turned and walked out of the cell. Nikki hung back for a split second then followed fighting the urge to sprint after her, realising that other people were around and they had to be careful.

"How y' doin' Nikki?" The two Julies shouted in unison as they watched her trail after Miss Stewart. It was the first time anyone had bothered Nikki since they had heard the news. The night before after lock-up, the prison had been remarkably quiet and subdued, with very few people calling to each other in the usual fashion. Only Yvonne Atkins had called to Nikki to let her know they were all thinking of her. Other than that, they had respected her need for time alone, uninterrupted.

"Ah surviving, you know," Nikki managed before Helen ushered her through a gate and out of sight.

"Nikki, I want you to know how difficult this is for me. I wish I had some good news for you but…" Helen could not think of a way to express it that would come even close to the mark. "I think you should see this first." She passed the newspaper across the desk to Nikki, seated on the other side. She had highlighted the report about Tricia's accident. "I don't know if it'll help, but I didn't want anyone else showing it to you first." Nikki sat silently as she read the article, shaking her head from time to time as though something did not make sense, tears slipping down her pale cheeks as she read on. Helen was careful to give her the time and space she needed as she read, sitting behind her desk, but never tearing her gaze from Nikki's bowed head.

"I didn't want to believe it. I thought it was a mistake. Now I guess I can't deny it though can I? Thanks for taking the time to let me read this here. I'd better get back." Nikki's words lacked conviction telling Helen that she really did not want to go anywhere and needed to be with someone who cared. Pausing before reaching the door, Nikki continued, "One thing I don't understand. Why did you want to do this here? What did you think I'd do?" As she spoke, Nikki looked directly into Helen's eyes, causing the Scot to catch her breath.

Slightly breathlessly, Helen said, "Sit down, Nikki please. That's not all. There's something else that's not in the newspaper. It's not confirmed yet so I shouldn't even be telling you really, but again I wanted you to here it from me. That way you're less likely to think it's a sick wind up than if someone like Jim Fenner let it slip." She made her way around the large wooden desk and perched on the edge facing the dark-haired lifer anxiously waiting. "There have been some initial findings that suggest it may not have been an accident. I don't know any details as yet, but I promise as soon as I know anything, I will tell you." Only Karen and Helen knew of the details so far, so Helen decided it was safe not to tell Nikki everything just yet. There was enough for her to deal with without having to think about the mechanics of the incident. Best to wait until it is confirmed, she thought.

The words had hit Nikki like bullets, each one taking more of her breath away. This did not really happen. It was something you saw in films or on TV, not in real life, not in her life. She felt anger and guilt well up inside her, rising from the pit of her stomach. She sprang to her feet, her head spinning from lack of food, and began pacing back and forth like a caged animal. Helen retreated behind her desk and then kicked herself as Nikki misinterpreted her actions.

"Regretting having me here on my own, Miss? What do you think I'd do? Do you really think I could ever hurt you?" Nikki's face was taut with anger and fury burned in her eyes as she hissed the words at Helen.

"It's not like that Nikki. I was going to phone for someone to fetch you a glass of water and something to eat. You haven't had breakfast yet and I know you didn't eat last night." Helen tried to explain her actions and placate Nikki.

"Yeah, and you couldn't reach across the desk? You didn't think to ask me if I wanted anything first? I feel like you don't trust me, like you think I'm going to lash out at any minute. You brought me here because you thought I'd end up down the block again if I was on the wing, didn't you?" The words stopped as she stifled a cry of frustration and hurt.

"OK, maybe I should have said something, but you have to believe me when I say that I trust you. I do Nikki. Like I said, I don't trust Fenner or Sylvia not to deliberately wind you up, provoke you into doing something stupid. I wouldn't blame you if you did, I know how annoying they can be, but I didn't want to take the risk. Miss Betts is fair but she's not your greatest fan. She does things by the book and I can't risk you being shipped out."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get angry with you. It's just so frustrating. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. I cared about her, of course I did, but it's you I love, now. But at the same time I feel guilty, like I let her down." Nikki turned away not wanting Helen to see her as tears streamed down her face again. "I should've been there. I always looked after her, protected her. I should've been with her." Helen rushed to Nikki's side, slipping an arm around her slim waist and guiding her back to a chair.

"You can't look after everyone all of the time, Nikki. She was a grown woman. I know you feel responsible for her, but what could you have done, realistically? You probably would have ended up the same way had you been with her." Helen kept her voice calm and soft, taking care to mask the irrational jealousy she felt over Nikki's feelings for her ex.

"Why would anyone want to hurt her? I mean that's taking homophobia a bit far don't you think?"

"Let's just wait and see what the police turn up in their investigation before we start making any assumptions. Until then there's not a lot else we can do." Nikki looked up at Helen, gazing into her eyes.

"I'm really sorry for going off at you before. You don't need all this, me banging on about my ex to you." A sheepish look crossed Nikki's face. The pain evident in her soulful eyes made Helen want to hold her and keep her protected from any further hurt. "I really appreciate all the time and everything you're putting in for me. What with this, the appeal and my degree," Nikki gave a short laugh, "it's a wonder you find time for anyone else!"

"Well it's not like you're just another inmate, is it baby?" Helen smiled, relaxing into Nikki's arms as the lifer stood before her. She felt a surge of raw passion as Nikki kissed her head and stroked a tender hand down her back, slipping it easily underneath Helen's top. The electrifying touch of her lover's hand on her bare flesh made her start. Pulling back a little, she looked into Nikki's eyes checking that this was what she really wanted and not a knee-jerk reaction to the news she had just received. Pure desire gazed back at her, speaking volumes of the tall dark beauty's love for her. Both gave in to the overwhelming desire that threatened to completely engulf them. Helen allowed Nikki to guide her towards the newly carpeted floor, forgetting anything other than her need to consummate their relationship. Helen was happy to let Nikki take control, gently stroking her firm body as her shirt came undone. Nikki slowly pushed Helen skirt up, caressing the tender skin on Helen's thigh as she did so. Nikki's fingers worked their way up Helen's thighs and between her legs, massaging her clitoris. Helen lost all sense of time and reason as she felt Nikki slide her tongue inside her.

A short while later, as they lay still entangled, stroking and caressing one another, Nikki's stomach let out a low growl, beginning to object at not having been fed for over twenty-four hours.

"Can I ring for room service now?" Helen asked playfully in between kisses.

"Yeah okay. I guess I should eat something other than you." Nikki said mischievously.

Helen straightened herself and checked her appearance before reaching for the phone on the desk. Nikki lay back for a moment watching her before composing herself and straightening her clothing. She slid into a chair so that when there was a knock at the door, the scene appeared to be normal. Helen answered the door, retrieving a glass of water from her secretary and listening while she informed her that an officer was being sent to collect Nikki. It was almost lunchtime, so she could get something to eat back on the wing. Helen dismissed her secretary, and turned to Nikki pretending to sulk at the news of her impending return to the wing. Nikki sipped the water, trying to control the grin that would not stop gracing her delicate features, reminding her to play the grief stricken ex when she was collected. A rap on the door broke into their comfortable, satisfied silence. Jim Fenner greeted Helen with the same leering grin he had been sporting at the morning's briefing.

"I've come to collect Wade, Miss."

"Fine, I'll walk back down with you."

"There's no need. I mean don't put yourself to any trouble." Jim failed to hide the annoyance at Helen joining them. He had hoped to take the opportunity to have a dig at Nikki. He didn't care that her ex-girlfriend had been killed. She was only a dyke's for God's sakes, it wasn't like it really meant anything, he thought.

"It's not a problem for me, is it for you Jim?" Helen asked innocently. "There are still one or two things that I need to discuss with Nikki that can't wait." Nikki had to swallow a big swig of water to stop herself from laughing. She marvelled at how good an actress Helen was. Helen, for her part, knew what Fenner was trying to do and was determined not to leave him alone with Nikki. Smiling sweetly, she turned to Nikki, who rose reluctantly to her feet a little unsteady from low blood sugar. "Ready?"

"Yeah sure. Thanks for everything." Nikki caught Helen's eye to make sure she fully understood her meaning, but was careful not to hold her gaze, aware of Fenner's searching stare.

As they walked back down to the wing, Helen and Nikki made arrangements for meetings about her appeal. Helen was surprised at how calm Nikki seemed in light of what she had been told only a few hours earlier. She acknowledged that their time together since then had been more enjoyable, feeling herself flush slightly as she remembered their love making, but marvelled at the lifer's new-found self-control. Nikki was trying her hardest to look like the grieving ex, keeping her head bowed and walking silently, responding only with monosyllabic answers. She felt as though she should be carrying with her some feeling of grief or guilt at the way she had got over Tricia, but could not shake the euphoria of her explosive, passionate session with Helen. She realised that she cared more for Helen already than she ever had for Tricia. She was still upset about Tricia, but more as if she was a friend she had lost touch with a while ago.

On the drive home, Helen was amazed that she did not crash. Her mind could concentrate only on what had passed between Nikki and herself in the office that morning. She knew Nikki had wanted to be with her, she had told her on numerous occasions, but Helen had realised the full force of her own desires for the first time. At first she had been unsure, wondering whether it was another stage of grief, but as she felt Nikki wrap herself around her, she lost all control of rational thought. Thinking back it had been foolish and dangerous, but that had made it all the more exciting and enjoyable. She arrived home to find messages on her answer machine. Two were hang ups again, but there was one from Nikki, cryptically telling her how much she had enjoyed their time together. Helen had to listen to the message a few times before she understood the whole of it. Nikki had had to whisper parts obviously as someone had passed by. When Helen realised she knew the message off by heart, she climbed the stairs, soaking in a warm bath fantasising about their lovemaking, before collapsing into a restful, contented sleep on her bed.

The next few weeks passed with little incidence. Helen and Nikki managed to snatch precious time together as they made arrangements for the appeal. Although they did not repeat their lovemaking session, they came close on a number of occasions only to be interrupted or for Helen to lose her nerve. They heard little else about Tricia's crash, but it was confirmed that the police did not believe it to be an accident. Leads and progress seemed slow in coming. Nikki seemed to get over Tricia's death quite quickly with Helen's help. She also appreciated how the two Julies and Yvonne Atkins had supported her. They had sensed when she'd needed to be distracted and developed an acute awareness of when she needed space and time alone. After the first week, they had begun to coax Nikki out of her cell, involving her in the wing's social life. They had been concerned that she spent all her time alone or with Helen Stewart. Whilst they knew she had a soft spot for the ex-Wing Governor, they did not want her to arouse the suspicions of those now in charge. Nikki had been kind to all of them, taking care to look out for them and she had had a hard time, not just recently but also for some time leading up to her incarceration. All of them had concurred that she deserved a bit of happiness, which she seemed to get from the lovely Miss Stewart.

Four weeks after the accident involving Tricia, Helen arrived home earlier than usual. The phone was ringing as she raced up the front steps to her door. 'Typical,' she thought as it rang off just as she reached out for the receiver. Dialling 1471 told her nothing as the caller had withheld their number. It was beginning to concern her that she had been receiving anonymous phone calls and hang-ups for just over a month now. It had got to the stage where she dreaded the phone ringing. She had also felt as though she were being watched on more than one occasion, sometimes noticing a figure in an unfamiliar vehicle parked across from her front window. 'I hope Nikki's appeal is successful,' she thought locking the front door behind her after gathering the rest of her belongings from the back seat of the car. She hated coming home to an empty house. The thought of Nikki living with her sent tingles down her spine. Having her around all the time and being able to show her true feelings whenever she wanted filled her with an unsurpassed feeling of excitement. She could not help smiling to herself as she imagined her lover wandering around the spacious rooms, revelling in the freedom and space around her. She wandered through to the kitchen to prepare something for dinner, glancing out of the window overlooking the now overgrown back garden. It was beginning to go dark and shadows had formed in the far reaches of the yard. Helen thought she saw something move by the shed, too big to be an animal. She froze, staring out trying to make out the shape in the shadows, wondering if her imagination was making her hallucinate.

To Be Continued…..