A/N: Hi! If this doesn't really make that much sense yet, don't worry, it will...eventually. Anyway... I don't own this and all that jazz.

1)Bella

"You don't have to do this today," Charlie said, placing his hand on my shoulder, "If it's too much for you to handle, or if you aren't ready… we can still go home, Bells." I could hear pain emanating from his voice; pain…and something else. Fear.

It seemed that those were the only things he ever felt anymore.

"I can do this, Dad," I replied. My voice tried to be convincing, firm, but it only managed to come out detached and emotionless. "I need closure." I continued, hoping to alleviate some of his torment. My eyes bore into his and I saw him realize that this would be--not good for me, exactly—but still something that I had to do... in order to... move on. I hoped--prayed-- it would not hurt too much.

Charlie nodded then reached his hand up to the wrought-iron and gate and pulled. It swung open, sending out a horrible creaking. He led me forward, guiding me through the many rows of headstones. As we passed through, I found myself bizarrely intrigued with them. Each one was different. They were all slightly different colors and shapes, made from a different rock, and beside nearly every one was a different bouquet, or stone. White stones, roses, lilacs, lilies, a black stone.

So many losses.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, we paused at one of the tombstones.

It adorned neither stones nor flowers, but still managed to be the most beautiful tombstone ever. It suited him well.

"Do…do you want to be alone?" Charlie asked, sounding broken. I knew he wasn't broken because he had lost somebody, though he had cared a great deal for Edward. But rather, he remembered how hard it had been for me in those first months after he disappeared.

In the very beginning I had been driven by a hopelessly desperate, and near hysterical need to find him. I barely rested; the chance that he would be found was the only thing keeping me going. But, after his case had run cold, I had become someone unrecognizable, and probably still would be, if it weren't for Charlie's sake. Charlie told me that I didn't move for weeks, and had to be hospitalized. I couldn't remember it at all, the only things I recalled were my hallucinations. After about three weeks they started coming.

At first, it was just Edward's voice telling me that I needed to move on with my life. I deluded myself into thinking it could have been a message from him, from beyond, and so I listened to it. And from that point on whatever that voice asked I did. I would do anything to hear him. Usually it was just little things: eat, sleep, shower, talk. Eventually I figured out that I was hallucinating, but by that point I had seen how badly I had harmed Charlie and Renee, so I kept doing what the voice told me. I can still hear it, on occasion.

Sometimes I think it would so much easier to crawl back into the catatonic state I once lived in, but then I see Charlie's face light up, just when I talk or eat, or breathe, and I'd know I can never return to that solace. Today was the first real conversation I'd really had with… anyone in months.

Charlie sighed, reminding me of his previous question. I had been so wrapped up in myself, that I hadn't even noticed he was still there.

"If, if that would be alright," I managed to mumble. I didn't want him to see how hard this was for me. I had spent so long trying to convince him that this wouldn't put me in that state again.

"Ok, hon." Charlie consented. He gave me a small and sad smile, "If you need anything, anything at all, I'll just be over by the car," He wrapped me in an awkward, but sweet, hug before walking away.

I waited until he was out of hearing distance before I began talking.

"Edward, if you can hear me, I...I just came to give you my love, one last time." I paused, unsure of what to say next. A tear rolled down my flushed cheek, landing on the bouquet I had been clutching. "I also brought you flowers," I muttered. I carefully laid the flowers-- freesia, his favorite-- down on his grave.

"I don't really know what else to say…" My eyes flashed to the headstone. Edward Masen, beloved child and friend, was inscribed into the rough granite. I raised my finger and traced the letters. The sharp pain I had grown accustomed to ripped through my chest, consequently tearing open the gaping hole which resided there.

"I still love you…" I murmured, "I think I always will." I stopped, breathless from the pain, "I-I don't know how to go on," my body was shaking, quivering with an indescribable torture.

"I wish you were still here." I doubled over, trying to keep myself in one piece.

"I think I should go find Charlie before this becomes… too much," I cried.

I wanted to leave, yet I didn't. I felt trapped; terrified of leaving—of even looking away-- from his grave, but I also knew I couldn't stay here, gasping on the muddy ground, for much longer.

"I love you," I said. Then, in an almost surreal movement, I crawled to his headstone and kissed his name. "I'll never forget you, for all of forever," I whispered, before climbing to my feet and walking off to see Charlie.

Once back at the Cruiser, Charlie took one look at me before his face erupted in shock. It took me a moment to realize why he looked that way. Then it dawned on me: this was the first time I really showed any emotion, good or bad, in over a year.

"Oh, Bella," he murmured.

"Dad," I whimpered. Salty tears flowed down my face in streams—rivers—staining my shirt and face.

Charlie helped me into the car. And for a while, I just sat there, crying.

"Can we go home now?" I finally managed to whisper. I stared out the foggy window wishing that I could be one of the tall evergreen trees in the distance. Trees can't feel. They can't love. I composed my face before turning back to Charlie expectantly.

"Sure, Bells" my Dad evaluated me, "Sure, Bells,"

We sped down the road back to our house trying desperately to leave everything back in the cemetery.

When we returned home I made a mad dash for my room, needing to sort out everything I was feeling.

Unfortunately, those plans were all abruptly canceled when I sat down on my bed. Because, when I had looked up the last person I had ever expected in my room was staring me down.

Alice Cullen.

"Bella," She sighed.

So... please review!! I loooovve reviews. Constructive criticism is appreciated. OH! I hate typos... so if I made some let me know. Thanks for reading!

Swimchik