AN: the next chapter contains some weird things and some odd humor but hopefully you will like it.

10 min. before Sweeney passes out.

"Toby, We need more ale." Mrs. Lovett shouted over the diminishing crowd of late night customer's. She bustled in between the tables stopping every few minutes to ask in an overly perky voice " woo' you like a piece o' pie?" As Mrs. Lovett slipped into the bake house to grab the last remaining pies her smile slipped away as she leaned against the wall and wiped her eyebrow's in exhaustion as she mumbled to herself " Uhh, me bones 'bout to drop."

" Mum, we nee' more pie's" Toby shouted in a strained voice. The last customer he dealt with tripped him so that he fell flat on his face. When he got up the old geezer spit on his face. Toby got up in a rush and clenched his fist and said in a small voice " Will you come wit' me sir?" The old guy gave his companion's a cocky grin and heaved his rather large frame from his seat and followed Toby around the corner so that no one could see him. When the old man turned the corner Toby let his fists fly knocking the guy unconscious. Realizing what he had done Toby dragged the guy to the bakers house entrance and waited for Mrs. Lovett's response.

Mrs. Lovett grabbed the pie noticing the strain in Toby's voice and hurried up. When she got to the top she dropped the tray at the sight before her and promptly grimaced as the metal tray struck her foot. As she hopped around trying to dull the sharp throbbing by rubbing the spot, she eyed Toby sharply and said " Wot is this dearie?"

Toby started rambling on " I'm sorry, I don' mean much arm'. E' was pikin' the fight. I,"

Mrs. Lovett put his worries to rest as she said " Don't worry nothin' darlin'. I'll take care of it." The old guy started to move so Mrs. Lovett shooed Toby out to get rid of all of the customers while she gently poked the old man repeatedly until he swatted at her hand and grumbled " What? Are you barking mad-woman? Where is that little whelp?" Mrs. Lovett backed away as the rather obese gentleman got up and said coyly " How's 'bout I give ye' a free tot' o' gin and we forget 'bout this 'ole thing."

As the fat man wobbled his way through the walk way he got stuck in the door. He puffed up like a blowfish at the sound of Mrs. Lovett laughing and said hotly " Why I never . . ." but before he could finish his sentence he farted softly and then gained volume until it sounded like a tornado was going through the building. When it became unbearably loud he stopped. Mrs. Lovett was holding in her humor and was about to say something until another fart ripped out of his pants literally. It shoved him through the door and ripped his pants at the same time and he practically ran to his carriage.

Mrs. Lovett was holding her gut, laughing hysterically and was about to fall to the floor but a loud thunk interrupted her. She look up at the ceiling wondering what the barber would be doing up there. Mrs. Lovett left Toby to clean the shop and ran up the stairs to the shop think something wasn't right.

Mrs. Lovett burst thought the door and ran into the shop when her foot caught on something. She went hurdling down forward flailing her arms wildly until she hit the ground. Only then did she notice that she landed on something soft and realized it was Sweeney lying beneath her not moving at all.

"Mr. T are ye' all right?" Sweeney didn't respond at all.

Mrs. Lovett got up off of Sweeny and looked over to see what had caused her to fall and noticed that it must have been one of Sweeney's customers that was difficult to deal with. Moving over she dragged the body to the trap door and hit the pedal. Wiping her hands in satisfaction she turned her attention back to the unconscious Sweeney. As she walked over toward Sweeney her foot got caught on one of the broken floorboards and she went tumbling once again right on to Sweeney.

Looking at his face she asked " Mr. T . . . Mr. T?" Getting no response she slapped him lightly a couple of times. Sensing she might never get this chance again she lightly kissed him thinking he wouldn't wake.

Then out of nowhere his hands wrapped around her waist as he responded fervently to her little peck. Then he mumbled through the kiss " Well, this is the best way to wake up with a hangover." Deeply shocked Mrs. Lovett jumped off of him and backed away as Sweeney got up on his elbow's.

Mrs. Lovett said " Mr. T I'm sorry. I din' mean nothing. I. . ." she was cut off when Sweeney said in and offended voice " Who in the blazes is Mr. T?"

Mrs. Lovett looked confused as she said " Why, you are."

Sweeney looked at her with an odd expression and said " I'm capin' Jack Sparrow of the Black Pearl."

Mrs. Lovett thought ' What 'appened to Mr. T? Es' acting a lil' strange.' Looking around she spotted a dented teapot and instantly came to the conclusion that Mr. Todd got hit over the head.

Sweeney grabbed the razor and looked at it with major intrest and then said enthusiastically " I got a shiny razor, I got a shiny razor, I got a shiny razor, and it's gleaming brightly." He kept repeating the phrase while sauntering toward the stairs.

Mrs. Lovett didn't know what to do so she followed him to the stairs watching him saunter around singing a weird a little tune. He kept walking towards the stairs getting closer.

Sweeney said " I got a shiny razor, I got a shiny ra. . . ." and tumbled down the stairs. When he landed down at the bottom Sweeney jumped up with his arms wide and held out the razor and said " I've got it!"

Peaking around the corner she said " are you al' right love?"

Sweeney looked up at the enticing wench and said " Yeah, just need a bottle of rum." And then walked off towards the market.

Panic shot through her as she ran after him saying " Mr. T. I think you 'it your 'ead a little too 'ard."

AN: well there it is we hope you liked it and had a good laugh. next chap. should be up soon.