Finally! chapter 2! I worked hard on this. I hope you like!
I grabbed the shampoo off of the shelf and squeezed some onto my hand. I rubbed it through my hair, then stepped under the running water to rinse it out. I let the water run through my hair and slide down my face, then down my body. I didn't want to feel so guilty. I can't rally understand why I do. It could be because I feel more like Dawn's my sister. Or because I think I could be gay, yet I'm dating Dawn anyway. Or because I haven't even talked to her about this at all. There are more reasons, I'm sure, but I'm not sure as to what they are. Or how to word them. Or something. This is all too confusing.
The doorknob turned, and the door opened. Who the hell is it?
Oh, it's Dawn.
Oh, it's Dawn.
She walked in and closed the door behind her. I need to take that key away from her.
"Come in." I said, simply.
"Paul, do you have plans tomorrow?" She asked me.
"Uh…no. Why?"
"Didn't think so. Because you're going out to lunch with me and Ash."
"What?"
"Oh, Ash invited me to lunch. I didn't want you to think that I was cheating on your or anything, so I asked if you could come. He said sure." She explained.
Ash? The pathetic looser that was with Dawn when I first met her? That Ash "The Ash I know?" I asked her to clarify.
"Yup. Him."
Yup. Him. "Is he bringing his girlfriend?"
"He doesn't have one."
Something inside me jumped. "Okay. Are you sure you want me to come?"
"Yes! Of course I want you to come! Plus it wouldn't kill you to make a few friends, you know."
"I don't know if Ash can be my friend."
She laughed, and said, "Of course he can!" I didn't know if she was laughing at me or not, I couldn't see her face through the frosted glass shower doors.
"Whatever. I'll come."
She was quiet. She was probably smiling. The pause was long and uncomfortable, until she broke the silence with: "Can I come in there with you?"
Leave it to Dawn…
"Uh…I guess."
She was quiet. I could see the silhouette of her undressing through the frogged doors. She slid the glass door open and stepped into the shower. She closed it behind her. She slowly placed her hands on my chest and began kissing my lips. I returned her kiss and wrapped my arms around her wet bare back. She let her hands slide down my body. They landed between my legs, where they remained and explored. I took that as a cue to do the same to her. I placed my hands on her hips, then slowly slid them down to her groin area. She giggled in delight, then pushed my hands away. I wondered what the hell she did that for until she kneeled down and shoved her mouth between my legs. When it began to harden and erect, she stood back up and smiled at me cutely. I know what she wants. I know what she wants…
She handed me a condom.
I know what she wants…
She leaned against the tiled wall.
Should I give it to her?
Yes.
I have to.
I put on the condom and walked up to her.
I was in my kitchen, making some dinner for Dawn. She wanted pasta, and I happened to have some. She was on my couch, watching TV, in a bathrobe. My bathrobe. I was in jean pants, with no shirt. Why am I the one making dinner while she watches TV? Isn't this supposed to be the other way around? And why is she even here? Or, why am I letting her stay here? This isn't her apartment. She doesn't live here. I live here. I should kick her out. I should say "Put on your clothes and get out of my house."
But, of course, I'm not going to.
My relationship with Dawn is really messed up.
No, it's just my life that's messed up.
I scooped the pasta from the pot into a bowl. "Dawn, your dinner's ready!" I called.
She switched off the TV and rushed to the kitchen. "Thank you, Paul!" She kissed my cheek and took the bowl out of my hands. She took it back to the TV room and sat back down on the couch. I lazily flopped down on the couch next to her. She was watching some movie that I had absolutely no desire to see.
"Do you want any?" she asked me, taking a bite of her pasta.
"No." I replied. "I'm not hungry."
"Okay." She continued to eat it until it was about half gone. She then placed the bowl on the coffee table and lay down, placing her head in my lap. It reminded me of when we got together. On my couch, watching TV, her head in my lap. I placed my hand on her head and began playing with her hair. I placed my other hand on her neck. Did she put lotion on it? Her skin was surprisingly softer than the rest of her body. I gently glided my fingertips over her skin. I suddenly wanted to kiss her neck. Why did I want to kiss her neck? I thought I established that I'm not drawn to Dawn. So why do I want to kiss her neck so much? I brushed her hair to the side and off her neck. When was the last time I kissed her neck? A long time ago, I guess. I really shouldn't want to kiss her neck this much. Yet I do...
I slowly bent down. When my lips hit her skin I began kissing her, then sucking on her. I couldn't get enough. I began biting her skin and licking the mark. Her skin was so soft…
I lifted my head, panting. I stared at the wet red bite mark I had made. It seemed to ruin her perfect skin. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm gay on minute and straight the next.
Maybe I'm a vampire, that's why I bit her neck.
Okay, now I'm just insane.
I looked down at her. She hadn't moved at all. It's only eight and she's asleep. She's going to think I took advantage of her when she wakes up with that hicki on her neck. Then she will be mad at me. No, I know Dawn. She would say something like "I wish I was awake for that, Paulie." in a seductive voice. She would crawl into my lap and place her hand on my chest. Which is bare.
And when you look at her, the last thing that will come to your mind is that she's a whore. No, no. Dawn looks like a sweet little girly girl. But she's really not. I wonder if Ash still sees that sweet little girl image she shows off.
Speaking of Ash, I wonder how pathetic he is by now. His pokémon are probably all just as weak as they were all those years ago. He's a disgrace.
Then why am I so excited to see him? I am not excited. This is…an illusion. Fake. Not real. Inexistent. I am imagining it.
Maybe I just haven't talked to anyone but Dawn in a few years…
Or maybe…
No.
No.
I am not interested in the potential that will be built for a relationship.
First of all, Ash would never be attracted to me. Even if he was gay.
Second of all, I am currently in a relationship.
Third of all, that Ash is so dense he probably still hasn't gotten feelings for anyone beyond friendship.
Why am I even thinking about this? Maybe Ash is a jerk. Maybe he's only nice to Dawn because he's known her most of his life. Maybe he shuts himself out to the world and only knows one person.
Like me.
I don't think Ash is like that.
I think he will want to be my friend.
I don't want to be his friend. I am perfectly happy with no friends. Paul doesn't have friends. I am fine the way I am.
I know. I am not fine at all.
Maybe meeting Ash again will be good for me.
But what if…
No, that would never happen. I don't even want to think about that happening. I will never have feelings like that for him. I can just scratch that possibility right out because I won't let it happen.
I won't let it happen.
I looked down at Dawn again. Her hand was loosely gripping my jeans and she was smiling to herself in her sleep. I gently lifted her up and carried her to my bedroom. I gingerly set her down. I pulled off the blankets on the other side of the bed, then placed her there. I put the blankets on her and stared at her for a few moments, then turned away and walked out of my room, turning off the light behind me.
A few hours later, I walked into my room. She was still asleep. I'd hate to wake her up and make her go home. That's something I would've done when I was thirteen. I sighed and walked to my closet. I took out some pajama pants and changed into them. I got into my bed. This was odd, for Dawn and I had never slept next to each other before. Whenever we are in a bed together we are touching each other. And we've only been together all night once, and even then we didn't get any sleep. I'm sure Dawn will be overjoyed to see me next to her when she wakes up.
It's going to be hard for me to get to sleep tonight.
yeah i know, Shinji is a little OOC. Sorry, guys, I thought Ash was going to come in in this chapter. Looks like you'll haveta wait until chapter 3. I promise, in chapter 3 Paul and Ash and Dawn will meet up and there will be an actual storyline. xD please review chapter 2!!