Until I was five.

When we came home from our jobs, no one was allowed to leave the house. It was always late in the evening when we got home, and we usually only had time for supper before we had to go to sleep.

But one night, I couldn't sleep. I don't know why, but I couldn't. But, I have to assume it was for a reason, because Grizzlyheart was still awake as well.

I don't think he knew I was awake though, because after he looked around for a moment, he stood up. He must've thought Lion, Eliezer, and I were still asleep.

I watched from where I was on the floor (Lion and Grizz had sold their beds for money long ago) as he crept to my father's room. He came out a few moments later, father over his shoulder. I watched as he made his way to the front door and pushed it over with his shoulder that father wasn't dangling over.

I scrambled up curiously, and just as the door was about to close, I was able to slide out. I looked around for a few moments since I had never been out this late at night… it was cold.

I remembered why I had come outside, so I looked over to where my brother was, only to feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment; Grizz stood still, staring down at me… the bags under his eyes were ridiculous… MY brother rarely slept well during this time, he's told me.

"Coral…"

By now, this word had become my name. Grizz had started calling me that a few days after that day on the beach.

"You need to go back to sleep."

I shook my head, "But fath-"

"Father will be okay sweetheart. Gd back into the house, okay? I'll be back in the morning."

I frowned, but nodded and obeyed, going to turn around and try to push the door open, but being as small as I was, especially for a five year old, Grizz had to help me by pushing it open with his foot. After walking inside the doorway, I stood quietly for a few seconds as the door began to close behind me with a slight, continuous creaking squeak.

But because of that squeaking, Eliezer began to fidgit and wake up, so I slid back outside as best I could without pushing the door open too much.

I looked around again and saw my older brother just a small ways away. He was walking towards the western bridge of town. There was another bridge like this one on the complete opposite side of Astrannar (to get anyone who needed out of town over the small rivers that connected to the lake we sat on). However, the only things that lay in wait outside of the bridge that Grizzly was heading to were the wilderness and the Astranaar graveyard.

I quickly ran after my brother and began following him silently. He walked, and of course I followed, until he was at the cemetery. It was a small graveyard with a soul-well in the middle, and benches sat around the outside of the area, creating a loose circle around the graves.

Grizz set out father on one of said benches, letting him lay there, then went to a medium sized tree not too far off, grabbing a shovel from behind it before he walked back over.

I don't think he noticed me… That, or he didn't want to waste time punishing me, because he didn't scold me for following, but simply began digging in front of an unmarked grave. He pushed himself too hard to dig that grave in such a short amount of time, I realized after looking back over that memory so many times…

I looked over at my father and walked over to the bench he was on, climbing up to sit next to him. He had a strong face, though his cheeks were stained with dried tears; a lot of them looked recent. His hair was white, but looked very badly taken care of. I kept looking this man I had rarely ever seen before over… I had never had more than a few instantaneous glances of him here and there when LiLi would go into his room to try and fed him… Not even a handful of times.

I moved to grab one of my father's hands and hold one of his fingers.

"Grizzy…" I blinked over to my big brother, who in turn, looked at me, "What's wrong with fatha'?" ….Couldn't quite say father correctly at the time…

Grizzlyheart paused for a few seconds before he went back to digging. "He's sleeping baby, he won't wake up for a while."

I blinked over at my father's face, then went to move my father's arm so I could snuggle into his chest, and when I let go of his arm, it fell over me.

This was the first time my father ever held me.

I think that at some point I must have fallen asleep, because when I opened my eyes and looked around, my brother was holding me. The sky above was a light blue-gray and the sun wasn't yet up. "Grizzy?"

He blinked down at me and smiles, "Hi baby." He readjusted his holding and kissed me on the forehead, "We're almost home sweety, we're almost home."

"Where's fatha'?"

"He's still asleep baby…" After a few moments we reached the front door of our home. Grizz raised a finger to his lips to silently hush me. I did the same, so he smile and opened the door.

Lioneyes and Eliezer were about to leave, the former looking at Grizzlyheart and I for a moment before frowning and nodding a bit. Grizzlyheart walked past the two, so I turned to face my sister and twin so I could wave at Eli, who waved back at me.

My elder brother then took me into our father's room, then set me on the bed. He turned, closed the door, then layed next to me, holding me tight in his arms. "Go to sleep baby."

"But we gotta-" I tried wiggling from his grip, "We gotta work Papa."

He shook his head and held me tighter, though gently. "Not today sweety, not today… Go to sleep."

I woke up the next morning, but Lioneyes took me to work with her and Eliezer… Grizz didn't wake up for three days.