Chapter Title: The Note

Chapter Summary: T'Pol writes the note that she isn't supposed to give, but even Vulcan's make mistakes.

AN: This chapter is rather short and takes place after T'Pol's little pep – talk with Archer.

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Chapter 2

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(T'Pol's POV)

After my discussion with Captain Archer, I felt illogically confident and calm. Trip would eventually realize that I do cherish him more than anything else. As I entered my quarters, I went over to my computer and turned it on. "Computer, begin recording." The computer beeped, and I began.

"Trip, this is T'Pol. I – computer, erase."

After taking a deep breath, I began again. "Trip, I understand that you – sigh – computer, erase."

This was going to be more difficult than I initially realized.

(Two days later)

Captain Archer had ordered T'Pol to help Trip out in Engineering. Things were running smoothly and only minor updates and repairs were needed.

T'Pol had finished "writing" her note, but instead of deleting it, she downloaded it onto a PADD so she could keep her thoughts and sentiments in place. She didn't want to admit to such an emotional act, but it also helped to give her the confidence she will 

need in order to talk with Trip. She wasn't confused anymore and was now looking forward to being around him, rather than dreading it.

Trip and T'Pol were reviewing everything they could, trying to find excuses to stay working side by side. The engineering crew was amused and entertained since their friendly banter had started up again. Lt. Hess smiled with delight, as did Rostov. They hadn't seen their Chief and the Vulcan science officer look so relaxed around each other in a long time.

T'Pol had completely forgotten about the PADD the Captain had given her two days ago to give to Trip. "How could I have forgotten?" She mused on that thought, but nothing came to mind except the handsome engineer beside her. "Commander, the Captain gave me a PADD that he wanted me to deliver to you."

"Good. I've been waiting for these new schematics for my engines," he stated with a smile.

"What do these schematics explain?"

"Well, they're supposed to help for when we go to warp speed. You know how the engines get a little messy when we go over warp five for a little while, well, these new schematics will help to smooth things out."

"Interesting."

Trip laughed at her unexcited tone, which got him a raised eyebrow. "Maybe you could help me out."

"Of course."

"So where are they?"

"In my quarters. Do you wish to come by this evening to retrieve them?"

"Yeah, that sounds great. I'll stop by after dinner with the Captain. Are you going to be there, T'Pol?"

T'Pol stopped breathing, but only for a second. She found she enjoyed the way he said her name. "Yes, I will be there."

"Good. The three of us haven't had dinner in a long time."

"Indeed."

(18:54hrs, Captain's Mess)

Jon and T'Pol waited for Trip to arrive. Dinner would be served in six minutes and Jon planned to make good use of time.

"T'Pol, have you finished writing that note?"

"Yes, Captain. I have finished the note. I find that in writing it, I also 'cleared my conscience', as you might say."

"Good. You seem more at peace than you were a few days ago."

"Indeed, I am."

Jon paused for a moment and then asked, "You deleted it, right?"

"No. I keep the note stored in a PADD for further reading and . . . confidence. I will delete it once I speak with Commander Tucker."

"Hmm. Have you given him the schematics yet?"

"No. I was going to do that tonight after our dinner. May I ask why you asked?"

"Well, what if you . . . never mind, I'm sure it won't come to that."

T'Pol was about to ask him to specify what he meant when Trip walked in, actually on time, with a smile etched on his face. After greetings were exchanged and Trip was seated, Jon got up to retrieve some wine.

"T'Pol, would you like a small indulgence?" Jon teased.

T'Pol decided to be bold, even though she knew it was illogical. "No. I would like a large indulgence, please."

Trip and Jon stared at her in amusement. "Someone's feeling a bit daring today," Trip drawled.

T'Pol just raised her eyebrow in mock annoyance, but she was secretly pleased at their reaction. "It is the bond," she realized, "that is making me behave in this manner."

Jon went on filling Trip's glass and his own before the food came out. The three talked about the ship and reminisced over earlier missions, which T'Pol found to be illogical. When the meal was concluded, Jon wished Trip and T'Pol a good night and then left.

"Shall we head back to my quarters so can retrieve the schematics?" T'Pol asked. Trip noticed a soft look come over her face after the Captain had left. "I wonder if that look is just for me," he wondered to himself, but doubted it as soon as the thought came. T'Pol heard that thought through their bond due to their close proximity and thought, "Yes, Trip, it is." T'Pol knew that Trip wouldn't be able to hear that, no matter how close they were to each other, not until he learned how to read her mind.

A whisper came across Trip's mind, as soft as a feather – light touch in his Human consciousness. He couldn't fathom what it was, but it felt oddly soothing. He concentrated on it, but it went as soon as it had come.

"Commander Tucker?"

"Oh, yeah. Let's go ahead and go to your quarters."

On the way to T'Pol's quarters, Trip couldn't help but to feel a little bit nervous, but he couldn't figure out why. "Come on, Trip! This is T'Pol! I shouldn't be this goddamned nervous!" Trip rebuked himself, wiping his sweaty palms on his uniform repeatedly. He knew somehow that his nervousness was due to what had happened between them in the expanse, their night of intimacy. T'Pol could smell his nervousness as it mingled in with her own. And being so close to him, she could also hear his thoughts, but chose not to say anything. She illogically found their nervousness amusing. Two adults acting like "lovesick teenagers" as Trip often said.

"Curious that Humans get ill on an emotion such as love," T'Pol thought with her lips upturned in the slightest hint of a smile. "Logic! Think logic! Don't act emotional!"

"Find my being nervous funny, do you?" Trip asked with a shy, lopsided grin. At noticing T'Pol's puzzled appearance, he clarified. "I guess our bond is stronger than we first thought. I felt nervous, on my own accord of course, but I felt it in two parts of my head. I don't know. It's kind of hard to explain."

"Understandable. May I ask why you are nervous?"

Trip stopped walking but soon after continued so he could catch up with T'Pol, who hadn't stopped. "Well, can I ask why you are nervous?"

"I asked you first, Commander."

Trip rolled his eyes before saying, "I'm not sure. I guess it has to do with the fact that after . . . you know . . . I always get a little antsy when coming to your quarters," Trip explained awkwardly. T'Pol felt sadness emitting from her bond mate and instantly felt guilty at hurting him, even though it was a long time ago. Trip sensed this faintly and assured her, "You know, you don't need to feel guilty, T'Pol."



"And yet I do," she replied sullenly. T'Pol felt her control quickly slipping and knew she needed to meditate. Although she was long over the withdrawal symptoms of the trellium, the effects and emotions were now a permanent part of her life, remaining with her forever. She was willing to live with that, but she couldn't let Trip know this, not yet at least. In fact, she was surprised that he hadn't noticed anything unusual yet.

"You never answered my question, T'Pol."

"I am tense for much of the same reasons you are."

As soon as they reached her quarters, T'Pol made a beeline for her desk where his schematics lay. She needed to meditate and clear her mind from these overbearing emotions before Trip saw or noticed anything. What Trip had mentioned about their night together from over a year ago and knowing how much she had hurt him, not to mention herself, had stirred strong emotions deep within her core that she had thought to had suppressed. Of course, that large indulgence of wine probably didn't help matters much right about now. She needed to get Trip out of her quarters, and now.

She wasn't ready for the confrontation just yet.

"Here," she said abruptly and handed him the PADD. "I will see you tomorrow, Commander. Good night."

Trip furrowed his brow. "Yeah, okay. Thanks T'Pol," he said slowly. And with that he left.

T'Pol lit her meditation candles and sat before them on her cushions. Taking deep cleansing breaths, she found her mind unwilling to go into a deep meditation. Something just didn't feel right.

T'Pol got up and went over to her desk. She had it nice and neat with two PADDs stacked on top of each other. She reached for the one on top and turned it on. It held the ships duty roster for tomorrow. T'Pol's heart began to beat a little faster than normal.



Setting that one down quickly, she picked up the other one and hastily turned it on . . . and felt the bile start to rise in her throat. What she held in her hand was the schematics she was supposed to give to Trip, not the note. She rummaged around her desk and room to try and find it, but found it wasn't there. That could only entail one thing.

She had given the note to Trip.

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