Author's Notes: Shorter chapter this time, guys! I kind of wanted to keep a particular theme going with this chapter, and adding the final scene I originally had planned kind of threw that off. So we get brotherly feels this chapter, and Loki will meet the team next chapter!
And again, many many thanks to Ricechex!, who actually got this uploaded for me, as I appear to have some sort of curse on me involving formatting issues.
Three am finds the debriefing finally over and done with, and Tony milling about his penthouse suite, unable to sleep. Figures, really, that once he was finally able to go to bed he would be hit with a bout of insomnia. Fucking Fury and his long ass debriefings.
But really, given the events of the prior evening he supposes he can hardly blame Fury for the length of the debriefing.
Tony sighs and drags himself from his sprawl on the sofa, dropping his tablet on the coffee table. If he can't sleep then he might as well be productive. His suit still needs some repairs from the battle with Loki and if he's lucky, he can probably knock out most of it before the sun rises.
But first, coffee.
The elevator ride down to the main living quarters is short, and soon enough he's stepping into the kitchen and heading for the coffee pot. He hums under his breath as he makes the coffee, some song that he'd heard on the radio and doesn't know the name of, but it's been stuck in his head for a week.
The smell of coffee is just starting to fill the room when someone clears their throat behind him. He swivels around in the chair he's settled into, half expecting to find Bruce or Steve, whose sleeping habits are about as awful as his own, and instead finds Thor standing awkwardly in the doorway.
He manages a half wave. "Hey, big guy, trouble sleeping?"
Thor drops down into the chair across from him with a heavy sigh. "It is my brother, he–"
Tony jerks his head up from where he's turned back to his tablet, which he'd thankfully remembered to bring with him. "Loki? Shit, something happen?" His first thought is that, perhaps, Loki has suddenly remembered, and after all the trouble they've gone through to make this plan work. Or that maybe he has not taken the memory loss well, and turned Thor's bed into a goat or something in a fit of anger. "Did he, uhh–" He wets his lips, "Did he not take the news well?"
The god shakes his head, face creased into a frown. "It is not that– He took it... well enough, I suppose."
Tony frowns as well. "What was the story we went with again? Mind control?" He'd been half asleep towards the end of the debriefing, but he's fairly certain they'd eventually decided on telling Loki that he was mind controlled, to explain why the team was going to be so unfamiliar and wary around him.
It'd been Bruce's idea, something about how keeping the story as close to the truth as possible would probably be better and easier to keep to in the long run. So Loki knows he was not-so-good, but not that he was willingly evil. And they even have a handy explanation for the memory loss. Breaking the mind control spell must have caused it.
And of course, they 'conveniently' don't know the source of the mind control yet.
In front of him, Thor nods. "He was, however, disconcerted to be told that there exists an unknown force capable of controlling him."
Tony snorts. "And he should be. Can you imagine if that were actually true? Something capable of submitting him to their will, mind control or not?"
Thor mumbles out an agreement and there is a pregnant pause before he shifts uncomfortably and looks down at his hands.
"You okay?"
"I am conflicted," he finally begins softly, looking back up at Tony, and Tony frowns, seeing the serious turn this conversation is bound to take and finally closing out what he's doing and putting his tablet aside. "I realize that what we are doing– That tricking Loki as we are doing is wrong, and yet–" Thor pauses and lets out a ragged breath. "You have to understand, he is my brother. He will always be my brother, no matter what he has done, and I would do whatever it takes to make things right between us again, if it is at all still possible."
Tony isn't sure what to say to that, so he says nothing.
"And now, I finally have my brother back," Thor continues, "This is far from how I had hoped it would happen, and I would never have wished this upon him, even to have him by my side once more, and yet– Part of me almost hopes that he never regains his lost memories, so that I do not have to lose him once more."
Tony props his head up in his hand, still mostly at a loss for words. Here he is at three in the morning, more or less discussing feelings with the God of Thunder. And yes, this is actually his life.
And honestly, part of him has to agree with what Thor just said. How convenient and wonderful would it be if Loki just never remembered? The team won't ever have to deal with the fallout of this frankly ludicrous plan, Thor can finally have his brother back for good, and everything can go back to relative normalcy.
Thor lifts his eyes from where he has been staring sullenly at the table, meeting his gaze and looking, briefly, as if he hadn't quite realized Tony was still there. "I am sorry, Tony, for plaguing you with such unhappy thoughts, especially at such a late hour–"
He waves the comment off, managing a weak grin. "Hey, don't worry about it. That's what friends are for." And hell, something has definitely been accomplished this night, even, if not his suit repairs. Thor calling him Tony, for starters, which is rare. Usually it's 'Anthony' or 'Anthony Stark' or 'Man of Iron'. Most often, it seems to be 'Man of Iron.' Thor loves calling people by their titles, however wrong he may get them.
Tony leans forward, resting his now crossed arms against the table. "Listen, Thor. I can't say I completely understand what you're going through here, or that I know how it must feel. But I do get it, I guess. You love your brother, and no one faults you for that, even if he is a–" Tony cuts himself off before he says 'crazy psycho,' and quickly settles on something that will be less upsetting for Thor to hear. "A bit unstable. And I wish there was something I could say or do to make you feel better, or to help at all but– You know how I am, Thor. I'm not exactly a 'feelings' kind of person, and I'm definitely not all that good at comforting people or giving words of advice."
He pauses, briefly, to situate his thoughts and what he wants to say next. Across the table, Thor waits patiently, watching him carefully.
"I'm your friend, Thor. Hell, all of us are, you know that. And if you need to talk, at all, we're always here to listen. I'm always here to listen. If you need it. Whenever you need it. And sometimes that alone can help," he finishes lamely.
Thor beams at him and gives him an expression that looks to be on the verge of emotional. Tony forces a smile, suddenly worried that the big guy might be about to cry or something, and, ohgod, he thought he had enough trouble dealing with feelings. A crying god is a whole different, and much worse, thing entirely.
He doesn't cry though, doesn't even begin to tear up, and Tony watches in relief as he stands and circles the table to clap him hard on the shoulder. Tony winces, not so much because it hurts (and he's used to it by now, really, if only because this is pretty much an everyday thing with Thor), but because it jostles him in the chair and aggravates his sore, bruised side.
And goddamn, is there not a chair in this tower that isn't uncomfortable? What was he thinking when he picked them out, honestly?
"I thank you, Anthony, for your patience and support this night," Thor says, voice level and normal once more, if a tad on the loud side (but again, normal for Thor). "It has been much appreciated."
Tony returns his grin, stifling a yawn. "Really, big guy, like I said, it's no problem."
Thor nods in understanding and, finally, heads back to bed, leaving Tony alone with his thoughts.
The conversation with Thor has given him a much better perspective on things, and he really feels bad for the guy. All he wants is his brother back, and now he finally has him, and it's a curse. A ticking time bomb waiting to explode in his face the moment Loki remembers.
Tony sighs and glances at the clock with another yawn. It's pushing four now, and finally he is back to barely-awake, his plans for the night abandoned and his coffee made but never drunk. And really, he should probably just head back to bed, because Thor is supposed to introduce them to Loki in the morning, and it wouldn't do if he isn't even awake for thatawkwardness.
With a mournful glance at the coffee pot, he finally stands and heads back to bed.
Loki's sleep is troubled, interspersed with nightmares and dreams that don't make sense, and it is almost a relief when morning finally comes.
He opens his eyes to an unfamiliar room, and sunlight, too much sunlight, and it takes him a moment to remember where he is and why. The events of the night before come flooding back and he closes his eyes to the light, taking a deep breath and trying to sort his thoughts.
He had hoped, though it was a desperate hope, to wake with his memories intact, but he quickly finds that there is nothing different now, upon waking, than there was the night before, other than a distinct lack of incarceration.
Loki takes another deep breath and opens his eyes again.
Nothing. He can remember absolutely nothing, and even the events of the night before feel strange and far away, as if they had happened to someone else. It all feels like some sort of weird dream that he is on the verge of waking from. He has been estranged from his own life, and made a stranger to this world that he has apparently been existing in for months, and none of it feels real.
He sighs, and finally drags himself from the bed, noting, as he does so, that all of the aches and pains of the previous evening are now gone, as was to be expected. At least something was accomplished by his intermittent sleep, because outside of feeling better, he feels neither rested nor composed.
There is a loud knock at his door and he starts.
"Brother!" Thor's voice booms from the hallway. "Are you awake?"
Loki presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose and sighs, mentally preparing himself for the headache that is sure to be his brother awake and already boisterous this early in the morning.
"I am," he calls out at last, striding over to the dresser and fumbling through the Midgardian clothing that had been provided for him the night before. They are all strangely soft and flimsy, not unlike the underthings he wears beneath his armor, and again, he has to remind himself that this is Midgard and that armor is, apparently, not considered standard attire here.
There is silence on the other side of the door following his response and Loki thinks, for a moment, that his brother must have left. And then Thor speaks again, his voice softer than before. "May I enter?" he asks, and Loki frowns, because it is unlike his brother to ask entrance to any place he wishes to enter, and more like him to just barge in with little to no warning.
"You may," Loki tells him.
Across the room, the door clicks open and Thor steps in hesitantly, as if still wary of invading his brother's space. Loki studies him for a moment before returning his attention to the clothes and grabbing up something to wear at random.
"Is something the matter?" he asks, after another moment passes in silence.
Thor shakes his head. "No, it is nothing. I am just glad to see you again, brother."
"You saw me last night," Loki points out, mildly confused as to the turn this conversation appears to be taking. In front of him, Thor shifts from foot to foot, looking awkward and out of place in the doorway.
"I only mean after all that has happened– After so many months–" He tries and fails several times to respond, only to finally give up and fall silent once more. And then, softly, he says, "I believed you dead, when you– When you fell. I–"
"You mourned for me?" Loki asks, surprised. His brother had been vague on the details the night before, telling him only what he needed to know to understand the situation, but he does know of his apparent fall from the bifrost during what his brother had only referred to as a battle against Jotunheim.
He spoke little of what had happened after that, only saying that when he reappeared, his actions were no longer his own and he was being controlled by some unknown force.
Thor had not told him what these 'actions' were, and Loki had not pressed him for details upon seeing how uncomfortable even speaking of it made him.
That he was believed dead after this fall, though, is shocking news. Though, he supposes, it should not be. Such a fall as his brother had described to him should surely have killed him, and he tries not to wonder too much about what may have actually befallen him during his disappearance afterwards that he should have returned in such a state as he did.
"Of course I mourned for you, Loki, you are my brother," Thor says. "Do not sound so surprised."
Loki moves to sit on the edge of the bed, strangely overwhelmed, and surprisingly even conflicted, by this news. Dead– his brother, and likely all of Asgard, as well– believed him dead, and he has no idea how to feel about this information.
"I am sorry," Thor suddenly says, and he looks up, startled and confused.
"What ever for?"
His brother drops his gaze to the floor briefly before looking back at him. "I have not always treated you as I should, and for that I am sorry. It took me losing you to realize this, and to understand that you are more important to me than I– You are more important to me than I may have once led you to believe."
There is confusion more than anything else at what Thor says, but Loki is also touched by his brother's words. Still, he is unsure what to say in response.
Thor clears his throat and continues. "You may not understand now, but you will. When you– When you remember."
Loki nods slowly and watches his brother carefully. Not for the first time since waking the night before, he finds that his brother's behavior is strange. "You have changed," he murmurs quietly, almost to himself, and the realization is painful, to know that he has woken not only to a world he is unfamiliar with, but also to a brother he no longer truly knows.
"A lot has happened that you do not remember, brother," Thor tells him, "A lot has changed."
"What happened?" Loki asks, because he wants to know, and his brother's explanation from the night before had been vague and brief, and given him no further understanding of what could possibly have happened to have altered him so. "What happened to make you change?"
Thor smiles but it does not reach his eyes and he continues to gaze at him sadly. "It is a long story, Loki. One that I would gladly share with you were we not expected elsewhere now."
Loki frowns and it takes him a moment to remember that he is supposed to meet the team that Thor has spoken of. The Avengers, his brother has told them they are called.
He nods. "Perhaps later then."
"Yes, later." Thor echoes, and Loki has a sudden feeling that 'later' will actually be 'never' and quite abruptly he no longer wishes for his brother's company, his mood having soured.
He stands and strides over to the door. "Perhaps you should leave now, then, and allow me to get ready," he suggests, and his voice sounds harsher than he had intended.
Beside him, Thor tenses slightly. "I shall wait for you then–" he begins, but Loki cuts him off.
"There is no need. You showed me the way to the common area last night, and I can find my way there myself when I am ready," he tells him, and again, it sounds more aggressive than he had meant for it to, but he can hardly bring himself to care now.
Thor nods, and his voice sounds strained when he finally answers. "I understand, brother. I will– I will meet you there, then." And with one last glance at Loki, he leaves.
Loki closes the door behind him and leans back against it, suddenly more angry with himself than with Thor. He had no reason to be so upset with his brother, and he can't even begin to fathom why or where the anger had come from. Especially after what his brother had said to him.
He sighs and resolves to apologize to him the next chance he gets.