Chapter Two: One-Hundred: Oh Really?

Neji woke up to what could be truthfully and accurately described as the most awkward position he had ever been in throughout his relatively short life. At some point during the night he and Tenten had moved far closer together—very close indeed. Tenten lay snuggled against his thankfully covered chest with her arms wrapped intricately around him. Their legs were tangled together. And, furthermore, Neji's own hands had betrayed him, going on a "field trip" under Tenten's shirt to her bare back.

In short, Neji feared that when Tenten did awaken, he might possibly be murdered, maimed, or in some way prevented from being able to produce children in the future. Cautiously, he undid some of the more offensive occurrences of their slumber, chiefly the positioning of their limbs, and as he moved to untangle their legs last, Tenten showed signs of awakening.

Naturally, Neji instantly stopped moving and evened out his breathing so that he might be able to feign sleep. He closed his eyes and listened. Neji felt Tenten moving against him and heard her yawn loudly.

"Well, this is interesting," she muttered. Tenten rolled off of him and Neji decided it might finally be a good time to "wake up."

Tenten grinned at him toothily. "Morning, Sunshine," she said. "You're always awake before I am," she continued—which was true, but she had the advantage of being an uncannily quick thinker in the early hours of the morning. "How badly were we arranged?"

Neji managed a small smile, rather impressed that he had been caught so thoroughly. "I think you'd best not know," he replied.

She bit her lip. "That bad, huh? Well, there's only one thing to do." Tenten reached out and smacked him rather hard across the back of the head. "Now we're even."

"I was asleep," Neji protested, shocked by the abuse.

"Still your hands."

"So unfair," he muttered.

Breakfast was an interesting affair to say the least. Artsuma Takeda thought it best to join the two ninjas for the morning chiefly to "tell them about Shou and Kuma." Tenten, who generally liked her mornings to be peaceful, as did Neji, was completely furious, far more so than her companion, at Artsuma Takeda's presumptuous behavior.

Tenten, though she would never admit it to the man himself, was not so angry with his coming as she was with the earliness of his calling and total lack of regard for their needs. Despite a stern look from Neji, Tenten felt the need to say, "Mr. Takeda, if you have any hope of me looking suitable in the morning as your future daughter-in-law would, you must give me more time to prepare myself." She ignored Neji's pointed glare. She wanted boundaries to be set.

That was the only unpleasant event of the morning that was Tenten's doing. They proceeded to eat the breakfast that the hotel staff brought them and Artsuma Takeda informed them that they would reach his home that very afternoon if they made good time and that very evening they would be hosting what he called a "small event."

Neji felt particularly suspicious and asked, "How many people is that then?"

"Oh, about a hundred," Artsuma Takeda replied offhandedly.

Tenten struggled to keep her eyes from bursting out of their sockets as she repeated, "A hundred?"

"And there are supposed to be people we 'know' as this event?" Neji continued levelly.

"Indeed," Artsuma Takeda replied, completely oblivious, "which we shall discuss on the journey."

Tenten was surprisingly silent, but that was simply because, unbeknownst to Artsuma Takeda, Neji had stomped upon her foot and his look indicated that more physical pain would follow as retribution for whatever Tenten decided was necessary communication to which he did not agree (her mind screamed about suppression, but she smiled back at Neji). And Tenten could not help but say, "Why, Neji, I believe you're falling into character perfectly."

The rest of their journey passed without any violence, a fact which was terribly remarkable, but Tenten did find herself incredibly frustrated with the large number of people she had to pretend to know, a good portion of which would be at the "small event," and despite the array of glossy photographs and visual aides Artsuma Takeda provided, she grew increasingly worried. She wondered how Neji could possibly be coping with all that they had been subjected to. As she continued to think, her agitation continued to swell.

Kuma and Shou had a large group of friends and acquaintances, but from Artsuma Takeda's description of their social sphere, both Tenten and Neji doubted whether these friends and acquaintances really knew each other intimately, which, admittedly, made their task a great deal easier. The more Tenten continued to think, the more she wanted to stretch her fingers around their client's neck and squeeze the life out of him for his insults, lack of propriety, and selfishness. It would hardly surprise her if, rather than being kidnapped, Kuma and Shou had simply eloped to escape this horrid, overbearing man.

Artsuma Takeda was apparently not a man who could bear silence particularly well. Soon after he had finished all explanations of the "small event," he began to attempt small talk which Neji repulsed with swift, typically monosyllabic answers before Tenten engaged in a conversation that would make her more furious than she already was. He planned on having a talk with her later about controlling her rage and perhaps would remind her of Tsunade's wrath (Hell hath no fury like a Tsunade scorned).

Neji was staring at the windy landscape outside the carriage window when Artsuma Takeda made his most imprudent attempt at small talk yet. "You do realize, I hope," he said, "that the two of you will have to act more like an engaged couple as far as physical signs of affection go? Shou and Kuma are very public about their relationship."

"We are well aware of what this mission requires," Neji replied firmly, seeing Tenten turn slightly red. "If you have no further factual information concerning the lives we are pretending to live, then you need no longer discuss it. I imagine you wish this to remain secret." That was perhaps the most Neji had ever been inclined to say to Artsuma Takeda and the look on the shinobi's face told even their horribly foolish client to shut up.

When their journey was complete and Neji and Tenten were presented with Artsuma Takeda's enormous estate, both were forced to privately admit that their client did have some right too his assholish behavior, though only a very small amount. The mansion was rather sizable to the point at which even Neji, who had spent a great deal of time in the Hyuga Compound, was impressed. To Tenten, who was even less accustomed to large, palatial structures and certainly did not feel like she belonged in them, the mansion was something that was quite mind-altering.

Tenten could only suppose (correctly at that) that the mansion contained at least a hundred rooms and chambers, which likely required the staffing of dozens of servants. From the outside, the estate was what Tenten would describe as heavenly. The lawn and garden were immaculate and the architecture of the house was flawless, filled with sweeping arches and sliding doors. The walls spiraled upward into castle-like turrets without exuding too much of a medieval air.

The inside of the mansion was a continuation of the outward graceful effects. Large, elegant windows ushered light into every room. In short, the atmosphere was worthy of a rant or two on Tenten's part. She had little time to do so, for she and Neji were soon shoved off to their separate chambers where they were mobbed by a few servants each who were to physically prepare them for their evening appearance as Kuma and Shou.

"No, I do not want anymore goddamn glitter," Tenten shouted at a scandalized looking maid who supposed the lady's anger had to be due to an oncoming menstrual cycle for she had never been yelled at by Shou's lovely fiancé before. Tenten made a mental note to set half the cosmetics that had been used on her ablaze later and quickly became distracted by what might happen when the highly offensive glitter made contact with flames and whether it was actually flammable or not.

Preoccupied by such interesting conjectures, Tenten paid little attention to the questionable outfit the maids were stuffing her into, which would cause a great amount of distress when she looked in the mirror later.

Neji bore the abuse as best he could. He certainly did not enjoy being poked and prodded any more than Tenten, but he kept fairly quiet about it and used only disapproving glares to make his displeasure known.

Indeed, he had barely a moment to collect himself after the servants left before Tenten burst into the room. She was squeezed into a very small dress with a plunging neckline and though it was Kuma's image, Neji could not stop his mind from wandering and placing the real Tenten in that questionable ensemble.

Tenten flicked Kuma's long red hair behind her shoulder. "So," she said, "we have, what, an hour, till this thing starts?"

Neji nodded.

"Do we have a particular plan?"

Neji frowned and sat down in one of the shockingly uncomfortable chairs in the room. "Stick together, trick everyone into thinking we're Shou and Kuma, and do a little investigating perhaps."

"Incidentally, we should ask Artsuma Takeda if he needs us tomorrow. Otherwise we can ditch the disguises for a bit and look into who the man's enemies are and who would want to kidnap Shou and Kuma. Though I wouldn't be surprised if they eloped."

Neji nodded again. "I'll talk to him when I have the chance. By the way, you really need to control your temper."

"What temper?"

"Hn."

"What temper, Neji?"

"The man is rich. Make some allowances."

"You're rich too, Neji, but you're not nearly such an arrogant ass."

"Funny," Neji said, smirking, "I seem to remember you using that exact expression to describe me on several occasions."

Tenten let out a puff of air and selected another of the uncomfortable chairs to sit in. "Wow, this chair is really suckish."

"Hn," Neji agreed.

"Yeah, I don't think Shou says 'hn.'"

Author's Note: Hey, Everyone. A big thank you first of all to everyone who read, reviewed, alerted etc last chapter. I hope this chapter lived up to expectations or exceeded them even. Please continue reading and reviewing. It helps me work harder and keeps me motivated as well as makes the story better with your own suggestions. Anyway, next chapter will be out in a week (actually may take either more or less time because I leave for vacation on Saturday... sorry) and hopefully it won't take me an unusally large amount of time like this author's note. I blame my cat (felines are very good at being distracting, even old lazy ones with kidney failure). Thanks for reading!