It should be noted for the benefit of readers who are only familiar with the movie that, while the Adarans are a personal invention, the Cardassians are not, and as of Deep Space 9, have developed a method to disguise Cardassian spies as Bajorans, a completely different species.
"Sorry, Spock," said Jim, "but I still think that's total bullshit. Just because I magically grew a pair of pointy ears does not mean that I've turned into a computer. Don't Vulcans have to train to be so fucking logical for years?" He was swearing more than he needed to, but it helped convinced him that he was still himself, that he hadn't started turning into Spock. On this same principle, he kept ruffling his hair (thankfully, still blond and unruly), though that was at least partially because it felt really, really good on his hands.
Spock was staring at him with a slightly shocked expression. "You do realize that Vulcans have, ah, abnormally sensitive hands, do you not?"
"I guess you guys must… oh." Spock was wearing a more obvious version of that look he had whenever Gaila started talking about whatever she'd done last night in the rec room. "You mean that kind of sensitive?" It did feel really good. He started rubbing the tips of his ears, mostly out of a scientific curiosity about what Spock would do next.
Spock was stubborn and thorough, and not going to be dissuaded, especially by Jim being vulgar. "That point is not relevant to our discussion. You must admit that your own behavior has been far more emotionally restrained. You have not shouted or thrown things, and your swearing feels markedly forced."
"Maybe it's just that I'm not as worked up as you," Jim returned coolly. "Maybe you're feeling a little emotionally compromised? Again?" It was a low blow, and he knew it, but he was starting to feel this weird, irritated feeling.
He still wasn't expecting Spock's expression, like a house had fallen on him. "Perhaps you are right," he said bitterly, and looked away. "Perhaps I am simply suffering from a psychosomatic effect, and am transferring the same effect onto your behavior."
"Well, whatever, let's just stop with all the angsting. It's totally a waste of time that could be better spent plotting our daring escape."
"Do you have any suggestions on that topic?" Spock asked, professional again.
"Not really. If we teamed up, we might be able to overpower the next guy who comes in. The Adarans aren't that strong, right?"
"No… however, even if that was accomplished, there would still remain an entire building for us to maneuver through, none of which we have seen."
Jim wanted to suggest grabbing a pair of phasers and fighting their way through, but there was no chance of that working. They'd just get caught and thrown back in. "Alright, so we need to do some recon first. Too bad there are bathrooms in the cells… Maybe I could pretend to be sick?"
"Perhaps. I believe there is some meat in the soup they gave me, which I have not eaten. Perhaps if you claimed you had accidentally consumed some, they would take you to the hospital wing."
"See, I do have good ideas sometimes!"
"Or it is equally likely they will simply kill you, and dissect the body. They may be planning to do so already."
"You're a very cheerful person, Mr. Spock. I just wanted to let you know."
Spock's repartee was prevented, with the return of the Adarans. There were two big ones, both armed with phasers, and a third that was apparently got up as some sort of doctor.
"Come along now," the doctor said, in the kind of voice that suggested he was seconds away from an evil laugh. "We have a little transmission we need you to help us with." Jim and Spock didn't resist as they were cuffed, and led down the hallway with the guards and the doctor.
They were half-dragged through endless, winding corridors; Jim tried to compose a map in his head, and guessed Spock was doing the same. Finally, they ended up in a large room that could best be described as 'shadowy.' There were more big guards, and a large view screen that was completely dark.
As they watched, it flickered to life, and the shadowed – of course – face of some alien appeared. "Dr. Twalek," he said coldly. "I hope you have positive results for me?"
Scotty hated being in charge of the ship. That was one of the specific perks of Engineering. But no, they happened to have the one captain who liked running off on away missions, and dragging his first officer with him. And now the two had been missing for twenty-four hours with no contact (again), and Scotty was in charge of the ship (again).
After the disappearance, all communication from Adarak had mysteriously cut off. They tried to make contact, but no one would respond. Uhura, Gaila, and Chekov had been playing with the signal for hours, with no result, until finally, someone established a massive communication link. Uhura snapped it up in a second, eagerly decoding it. A look of horror passed over her face. "Oh, shit," she muttered.
"Wha's wrong, Lieutenant?" he asked worriedly. Uhura wasn't much inclined to swear on duty, especially if the Captain wasn't there.
"I… I don't know how to explain it," she said. "You'd better come and see what we've got."
Scotty groaned. He'd heard that line many times before – bloody hell, he'd said it many times before – and it never meant anything good. "Make sure ye get a trace onnit, a'leas'," he said.
"Oh, I'm on that," replied Gaila, furiously tapping the screen. Scotty got up to view the transmission, and his mouth fell open in horror.
Jim had no idea who the hell this alien was, but he definitely intimidated Dr. Twalek. The Adaran gone from a stereotypical mad scientist to whining sycophant in seconds. "Oh yes, the experiment, quite a success," he near-stammered. "I think you'll be very pleased with the results, Gul." So the strange alien was a Cardassian? Jim filed the information away for later.
"You moron," hissed the Gul. "Do you want the scum to know who I am?"
"No need to worry, we'll kill them once the experiment is finished," Dr. Twalek said flippantly, seeming to have regained some of his confidence. He motioned for the guards to shove them to the front, where they would be easily visible. Jim was surprised to see Spock glaring at them openly. "You might recognize some features, I think," he added smugly.
"I'll be damned," said the Gul. "Is that…?"
"Captain Kirk and Commander Spock of the Enterprise. It was little short of a miracle that we managed to get them, but luckily the Marquet owes me a favor or two, and they didn't really want that mining commission anyways."
"Well, shit, that explains their bargaining techniques," interrupted Jim. "And I just thought he was being a dick."
Both ends of the conversation gaped at him, and Spock was – smiling? Seriously? It must have been a trick of the light. "He does not appear altered," said the Gul after a moment. "He certainly does not act like a Vulcan. How can I be sure that you did not simply perform a little plastic surgery on both men and call it a day? It would not be the first time you presented me with embarrassingly shoddy workmanship."
Dr. Twalek colored, which in his case meant he turned an interesting purplish color. "I can assure that they have, in fact, had their species altered. The captain is simply being defiant. If you would allow me to demonstrate…" He pulled out a kit of scalpels, selected on and made a short, quick cut on each man's palm. The Gul watched the blood without much conviction.
"I hope you will send me some tricorder readings, because dramatic as your 'evidence' has been, I have not found it terribly reliable in the past. Let us hope this has changed. It does seem that the physical change has been executed successfully. Have you fulfilled the second part of the request?"
Dr. Twalek's confidence disappeared. "Ah, ah, well, we still need to do a bit of work on the memory implantation. We didn't think we were at a point where it could be attempted with these subjects. However, we did manage to realign their mental pathways. It's not enough to effect their memories, or even their personalities, it seems, but it still should alter their way of thinking significantly." For some reason, all Jim could think was, Damn, Spock was right, which was totally unfair because now Spock would be all smug, and say 'I told you so,' and that was bad enough when he was trying to pretend that Vulcans didn't actually feel emotions such as smugness.
"Interesting," the Gul said drily. "Have one of your men kick the Vulcan."
It came as a bit of a shock to Jim to realize that 'the Vulcan' referred to him, so he wasn't suspecting the hard knee he got in the stomach. If he'd caught on before, he might have faked a reaction, but instead he remained expressionless, the only sign a momentary unsteadiness, and then it was too late to fake anything. He tried a pain-wracked grimace, but the Gul merely laughed.
"You are a tricky one, little captain," he remarked. "Not, I think, tricky enough, though. And now, the human one, if you please."
Spock got kicked even harder, and in a decidedly more sensitive locale. Jim could see him trying to hold back a reaction, but his face contorted in pain. The guards laughed like it's the funniest thing they'd ever seen, and Jim objectively and logically decided that once they got out of here, which they were going to do once he finished his awesome escape plan, he was going to blow the place up, or possibly set it on fire.
"Very interesting," said the Gul. "Well, I believe I have seen all that you have to offer. End transmission." And with that, the view screen was dark again, and Jim and Spock were dragged back into their cells, separated again.