Disclaimer still do not own Death Note, or anything belonging to it's respective owners, and probably never will.
Thank's to all the people who are reading/reviewing.
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"Come on people!" Mello yelled as he pranced around a table like a fool. "Buy your tickets for a chance to go to New Zealand! It only costs ten shilling per ticket! The more you buy, the higher the chance! There is no limit!"
About an hour and a half later he stopped, and counted all the money he had earned..."MATT!" Mello yelled, extremely irritated, "How much did you collect?"
"Let's see...I collected a total of seventy two pounds."
Mello looked shocked as he held out all that he had collected. "Se-seventy t-two p-p-p-pounds! WHAT!?"
Matt looked at Mello's palm and counted his money. "Nineteen and a half shillings? Wow, you're even more hopeless than I thought." Matt rolled his eye's, "Wait, if we are selling them at ten shillings a ticket, how did you get nineteen and a half?"
"Ummm," Mello muttered, trying to think of a reason, "Well, I was apparently not thinking at the time."
"No, you were thinking all right...About chocolate." Matt chortled.
Just as he was saying this, there was a knock on the door. "I'll get it," Mello yelled as he lunged for the door. It was Near.
"Hello, Mello, I want to know why you gave me a stuffed sheep? That was purple!"
"Ummm."
"You should know that he hates purple!" Matt gasped. "It brings up painful memories!"
"And here, I though you were sincere. Or I did, until I noticed it was dated three months ago." Near sighed, "Oh well, how much have you collected? Two pounds for the both of you?"
Matt smiled triumphantly, "I've collected seventy two pounds, and Mr. Entrepreneur here has collected nineteen and a half shillings."
Suddenly, Roger's voice crackled over the intercom, "Mello, Matt, and Near, would you please come to my office immediately?"
"Well, at least he doesn't sound angry." Mello noticed, optimistically.
"He won't be optimistic for long." Near pointed out.
Matt had to restrain the angry blond to prevent Near's premature death.
0o0o0o0o0o0o
"So, how much have you collected?" Roger asked.
"A total of seventy two pounds, and nineteen and a half shillings!" Matt declared.
"Weren't you selling them for ten shillings each?" Asked the now confused Roger.
"Well, I was apparently scammed." Mello explained.
"Which is why I am L's successor..."
Matt snickered. Roger face palmed. Mello reached for his chocolate, and his hidden knife. Near put in another piece of his puzzle.
"Look's like someone would make a 'good' con-man," Near observed.
"Look's like someone would make a 'good' hair dye tester," Mello retorted.
"Ladies, ladies," Matt said looking at Mello, "And gents," he added looking at Near. "Stop fighting, what we need to do, is a car wash."
"..." Near replied.
"..." Roger replied.
"..." Mello replied,"WHAT?!? You just want to see me in a bikini!!"
" I do not, and the reasoning is simple," Matt begin to explain, "We just have to get some soap and water, some girls in swimsuits with posters and-"
"How about a carnival?" Roger suggested.
"With a car wash?" Matt asked hopefully.
"..." Came the reply from everyone but Mello.
"I'm going with Roger's idea." Mello responded
"Awww, that hurt," Matt sniffed, "Going with the old guy's idea over mine."
"Hey!"
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
One week later. The carnival was ready. It had neon strobe lights. It had music. It had clashing robots. It had baaing sheep. It also had a purple banner that said "Welcome To The 'Lambies House' Carnival!".
"Wow! This is a lot of fun!" One of the orphaned girls said to her friend. "Where should we go next?"
"How about the food tent? I heard they have really good food. Cooked by Mello himself!"
"I didn't know he cooked," a passing boy remarked, "It's probably burnt, knowing how he 'cooks' things."
"Well, guess we'll see. Wanna come with us?" The first girl, who's name happened to be Linda asked the boy.
"I'm going to go play the 'lamb shoe's' game."
"'Lamb shoes'?"
"Yes, it's where they give you three toilet seats, like giant horse shoes, and you have to land at least two to get a prize. It's only a pound for three chances."
"Hey 'ewe' there!" Matt called out, dressed as a sheep. "Can I interest you three in the 'ride a ram' interactive game?"
"The what?" Linda asked.
"Ever heard of the 'Ride a Bull' game? Where you sit on this thing that jumps up and down, and you stay on it for as long as possible?" The sheep asked.
"Yeah..."
"It's like that, only it's covered in wool."
"Um...K?"
"I'm so glad you're going to play it! Right this way!"
"We didn't say we would!" The boy remarked.
"If you stay on it for eight seconds, you get free food!"
"Okay, I take that back." The boy answered. "Where is it?"
Matt smiled inside at his brilliance. Not that the food was free, per se. He just made it look like it was.
"So how much is the ticket or whatever for the 'Ram Ride'?" The boy questioned.
"Three pounds for three tries, but if you stay on for four seconds, you get another try. Six seconds you get fifty percent off of any event. Eight seconds, free food, and three more tries. Sound good?"
"Yeah!" The boy responded cheerfully.
"Good, good!"
0o0o0o0o0o0o
Meanwhile, Mello discovered that the kids at Wammy's apparently like lamb dishes. He also discovered that chocolate doesn't go all that well with lamb as he had hoped.
"Excuse me," a boy said as he tapped on Mello's shoulder, "What is the difference between the Ginger and the Ginger curry lamb dishes? Are they pretty much the same?"
"Actually," Mello replied, "They have mutton in common."
Instantly the boy cracked up laughing, as did the dozen or so people around him. "Seriously though," the boy said wiping a tear of mirth from his eyes, "Is there a difference?"
"The normal ginger is better," one of the bystanders answered, "If you like red-heads!"
Everyone burst out laughing.
"One ginger-lamb please," the boy ordered as he put down his four pounds.
"I agree," said Linda, casting a glance at Matt, who was rounding up more people for the 'ride a ram' event. "Red-heads are better."
"Apparently they taste better too!" The boy said, now chowing into his dish. This statement was greeted with laughter.
0o0o0o0o0o0o
"OH CRAP!" Yelled the boy Matt had lured to the "Ride a Ram". He had managed to get to 5.99 seconds, but it had always thrown him off before he got a better prize. Matt thought about how that "skill" Mello had taught him was paying off. Mmm, jacking wires was great.
The boy, named Colton, got off. He spouted something in Croation, and ripped up his remaining raffle ticket. The one that would have won him a purple teddy bear...
"Heh, sucker," some big, strong looking kid said. "Gimme a shot, 'kay?"
"Uh, sure, that will be one pound per try, unless you have a reduction ticket?"
"What? Dat's too 'spensive, yo!" The boy bellowed. "Gimme three tries for one pound and it's a deal, yo!"
"Okay, but then you won't get the prizes."
"Is you pickin' a fight with me, foo?"
"No, rules are rules."
"Fine, here's yo' stupid three pounds." The boy huffed as he put down seven pounds. Apparently somebody had failed math class as well as English. The large boy hopped on the machine, and Matt started it. The boy lasted for three seconds, and fell off.
"Dat ting is unfair, yo!" The boy shouted as he hopped on again. This time he lasted for three and a half seconds.
"Dat ting is still unfair, yo!" He hopped on for his third and last time. He fell off immediately because he held onto the woolen blanket covering the machine, instead of the handles.
"Next!" Matt called out.
0o0o0o0o0o0o
Near had decided to help out by getting one of his many blank puzzles, and drawing a sheep on it. He would then tell people that they could do the puzzle as many times as they wanted, if they beat his record(currently 12 seconds flat). Needless to say, nobody has played it more than twice, before getting frustrated after finishing it in maybe, five minutes at best. He was also offering to sell it, so that people could practice it at places other than the carnival. He had gotten offers of up to one hundred and nine pounds. He was about to give it away and pull out another, when someone gave him one hundred and ten. He is still confused why they would pay that much for a sheep puzzle...
0o0o0o0o0o0o
Some random guy Mello hired off of the street was running the Lamb Shoe's game. His name was Raye.
"All right kids, single file line to get your chance to throw."
"But there are five targets to throw the toilet seats at." Called a girl, who had a reputation for being a perfectionist.
"Fine, single file line, that splits into five at the appropriate place. How is that?"
"Better. Now give me my three toilet seats."
"I'm going to tell my superiors about this!"
"See if we care!" Yelled a boy in the line.
"Ignore him, his name is Mister Snark." Said the perfectionist, as she landed her third toilet seat on the sheep targets neck, which broke the things neck.
Raye sighed as he gave the girl her prize, which was a green stuffed llama.
0o0o0o0o0o0o
Back at the Lamb Chop Cafe, as it was named by Mello, he had made more friends by his puns, then he had by his attitude.
"Thank 'ewe', come again!" He called as a guy left to get some 'woolen' candy, which was being sold by Roger.
When the kid got there, he realized he didn't have any money left, so he started feeling depressed. But Roger but his hand on his shoulder, and comforted him by saying, "Don't worry, son. Everything will turn out all white!" He then gave him some woolen candy for free.
But then Roger looked at his watch, it was almost midnight! In other words, time for the big event! So he grabbed a random kid, told him to sell the woolen candy, and that if he stole any of the money or woolen candy. Mello would kill him. He ran to his office, turned on the intercom speaker and told everyone the big announcement.
"Hello ladies and gentlemen! It is time, to draw the winners for who goes to New Zealand. I will draw one of the two, and for the other, I would like the gingery sheep, I mean Matt, to come to my office. Here is the first winner...drum roll please?" He was now outside, on the roof, with the bowl of tickets. "And the first winner is...NEAR!"
Matt, Mello, Near and Linda were the only ones who clapped. Everyone else looked shocked, at the chance that they might be going to a foreign country with Near. By that time, Matt had reached the place on the roof where Roger was sitting. He climbed the wall using some move he learned from Final Fantasy IX. He grabbed the microphone, to much applause, of which ninety percent of it was from girls. He reached inside the bowl, shuffled his hand around, and pulled one out, completely at random. He read it, and stopped before he could read it out loud. He looked extremely shocked, some muttered among themselves about who he drew. Most of them guessed(incorrectly) that he drew himself.
But he finally got past his shock, and read it out loud. "The other 'winner', the person who gets to go to New Zealand with Near...is Mello!"
"GASP!" Went the crowd.
"GASP!" Went Roger.
"GASP!" Went Mello.
"..." Went Near
"GASP!" Went L, who was watching via webcam.
"GASP!" Went New Zealand.
"Awwww," went the fan girls.
0o0o0o0o0o0o
The next day was Saturday. So they had plenty of time to add up the money.
"So how much did we get?" Mello said right before yawning and eating more chocolate.
"I made almost eight hundred pounds, just from selling 'rare','hand made', sheep puzzles." Near said. "The total was eight hundred and thirty three.
"I made a measly twenty pounds." Raye added.
"That's because you suck," Mello said, "Whereas I made three hundred and ninety seven pounds. Yay rich business men!"
"Ha! I made four hundred and seventeen pounds!" Matt counted. "Yay rich kid's who can't count above five!"
"So how much did Roger make?" Raye asked, wondering if he was still the one who collected the least.
"Twelve hundred pounds."
"Wait, what?" Everyone asked in shock.
"Yes, twelve hundred pounds! I raised one hundred of it, the other eleven hundred came from L."
"Is L rich, or is he just wasting taxpayer money again?" Matt asked.
"The latter." Roger confirmed.
"Wow, I was right when I said I was going to be L's successor!" Near declared.
"So what's the total?"
"Two thousand, eight hundred, and fifty nine pounds. I have already added up the total cost for the trip, including round trip airfare, hotels, food, and random tourist attractions. We need another seventy two pounds." Roger answered. Everyone groaned.
"But, didn't we collect that much last week?"
"Oh yeah, I also forgot that Mello managed to get half of a shilling."
"YAAAY!" Everyone cheered.
"And by the way Mello, if Near goes 'missing', you're under arrest."
"Wasn't planning on it."
"Good, because I have enough contacts in the worldwide police forces..."
"Heh heh..." Matt chuckled, "better not try anything Mello..."
"When do you want to fly out Near?"
"After I get my new Megatron." He replied, "So next Thursday."
"Thur thing."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX chapter two:ENDXXXXXXXXXXXX
Please R&R.
-Frail-Dreams-
Also, if you did not appreciate them, sorry for all the puns.