CHAPTER 2

Over the next few days the lack of sleep, and lack of nutrition, began to take a physical toll on Clint's body. Looking in the mirror, he could barely recognize the man staring back at him. He was pale, and his once vividly colored eyes were dull and lifeless. His hair was ruffled, and he had not shaved for quite a while. As the archer got dressed in a t-shirt and pants, he turned and peered at himself from a side angle. His ribs were becoming prominent, and the view made him sick to his stomach. He was ashamed and in pain, as he ran his fingers through his hair, letting out a sigh which morphed into a rough cough.

He peered at the dagger that sat on the trunk by the foot of his bed. A shutter ran through his body as he reminded himself that cutting was not a way out. But he couldn't help but stare at the dagger. He lifted it into his hands cautiously, and rolled it around in his palms. A knock at the door was what, quite suddenly, brought him out of his trance.

"Hey Hawk ya ready for breakfast? We gotta head out today." Clint recognized the voice as Natasha Romanoff, and quickly threw the dagger under his pillow.

He pulled the door open and gave a small smile.

"Uh yep just got dressed." He said, with an unsteady voice.

Natasha lifted her hand to Barton's face and rubbed his stubble.

"You...should probably shave" She chuckled as Clint blushed at the motion of her touching his face.

"Really? 'Cause I thought i looked badass with some facial hair."

Natasha rolled her eyes and walked away replying with "oh so it makes you finally feel like a man."

"Yeh I'm laughing so damn hard!" Clint shouted back with a laugh.

As soon as he had laughed, his smile haltered as realization sunk back in. Thought the others were able to joke around he could barely stay afloat. He could only trust Thor and Cap to talk to. It was already a mistake that Stark had sen him in a weak moment. Who knows, a few weeks from now that asshole will probably black mail him. Clint grunted in annoyance at the thought of Tony using him. Hadn't he already been used enough? God he hated this world.

Clint sat in the jet, next to Cap and across from Bruce and Natasha. They had a small mission where a few members of HYDRA had been found stealing a truckload of weapons. Barton sat nervously fidgeting with his bow, as Banner messed with the sleeves of his shirt.

"Okay, be ready for the drop off guys." Cap said as he tossed each member their parachute.

Barton caught his, and whispered a little thank you to Rogers. He allowed Natasha, Captain and Bruce to jump out first. He stood nervously, as his knees wobbled. He gulped down a breathe and jumped.

The feeling of being suspended, of falling. It was so different now. Now that he hated life. For a second he closed his eyes. The archer wasn't aware how close the ground was, let alone how quickly he was falling. His eyes snapped open as he heard Natasha scream out his name from above. He let out a sharp yelp as he quickly pulled out his parachute. Just in time he was dragged back up some by the chute. He let out a rough breath he didn't know he was holding.

Clint hit the ground, and rolled. He was the first one down. He unclipped the bag, pulled out his bow and whipped it open. While he was getting set up, Bruce, Cap and Natasha landed smoothly.

"What the hell was that up there?!" Natasha hissed as she lightly hit Barton's arm.

Clint flinched and muttered a little 'ow' in reply.

"I just got...sidetracked." Clint said, rubbing his arm where she'd hit him.

As everyone was prepping themselves, a bullet flew passed Clint's shoulder into the snow.

"Shoot everyone get ready!" Cap said, as he ran in ahead of the others.

Hulk was already unleashed, as he went trailing behind Rogers letting out a sharp growl. Natasha nodded at Clint, as the both went running in.

The mission seemed to be going smoothly. Well at least it was supposed to go smoothly. Clint wasn't able to pull himself together, and allowed for his judgement to get compromised. So instead of having shot the HYDRA member, Barton missed.

Cap came running just in time to take the hit of the rain of bullets for Clint. The drained archer watched in sheer horror as his friend hit the ground lifelessly.

And just as soon as the mission had started it was over.

(Dont mind me over here saying it butttttt if you've seen age of ultron then you'd know...its not the first time someone took a shower of bullets for hawk *laughing morphs into sobbing*)