My mouth is suddenly dry and I find myself unable to speak. "Too bad he's in Florida," I finally croak out.
Dawson looks at me strangely. "He's back. He's been back for a week. He didn't call you?"
No, no he didn't call me. In fact, he hasn't called me for over a year. Pacey is… or was... Dawson's best friend. The three of us grew up together, the three musketeers, our parents used to call us. I fell in love with Dawson when I was fifteen and fell in… well hate… with Pacey. Pacey and I fought constantly as Dawson and I tried to navigate the change from friendship to relationship. Dawson and I failed…. Multiple times. And junior year, after another failed attempt, Dawson sent Pacey to look after me, and somehow Pacey and I became close. Really close. And then he kissed me.
"Nope. He didn't agree to this did he?" I ask, trying to keep my tone even.
Pacey and I spent an amazing week making out and then we told Dawson we wanted to date. And he lost his shit. Lost it. He punched Pacey and refused to speak to him for weeks. Dawson had always been in my life, and when faced with an ultimatum, I couldn't walk away from that for some amazing kissing. And so I ended it with Pacey. Pacey and I went back to being friends, and he and Dawson repaired their friendship. But the thing is... as soon as I had made my choice - I regretted it. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how much deeper my feelings were. But Pacey was single for a short time after our… whatever you want to call it… and then immediately was in "relationship" after "relationship", I'm using quotes here because relationship may be a generous term. But there always seemed to be some girl who had his attention.
Pacey and I both attended college in Boston and frequently hung out together. That last month of school he and I started sleeping together… no not like that - just sleeping. It seemed to make more sense to just crash in his bed than to try to get home. And we were usually drunk enough to make snuggling okay. But that's all that happened. Okay and maybe some drunk hand holding. And then there was this party, and lots of vodka. The details of the night are completely hazy, but the one crystal clear piece of the night was me trying to kiss him and him pushing me away with a look of disgust on his face. And that was the last time I saw him. He avoided me until the end of school and then he moved to Florida without a word to me.
"I believe he said something like, 'oh I'll do it, and if you can get Joey to agree I'll eat my paycheck'" Dawson laughed.
I swallow, it sounds so loud as my head pulses. If I didn't know better, I'd think Pacey was daring me to say yes. "Dawson, what are you thinking? You seriously want me and Pacey to have sex while you film it?"
"I know it's a crazy thing to ask of you, but you two will be perfect together. You've always had that tension thing going on. Remember junior year when you actually thought you wanted to date him?" Dawson laughs casually. As if it hadn't broken my heart.
Something must be wrong with me, because I am actually considering this. This is ridiculous.
"And Joey… I feel like, if this is something you aren't willing to do for me, maybe we need to rethink this relationship." He says this as if he's asked me to loan him a dollar and I've refused. The voice in the back of my head that usually whispers to me that I need to end things is suddenly screaming.
"It's ten grand. You could do a lot with that money," he offers, standing up and putting his hand on my shoulder.
A knock on the door frame interrupts us, and we look up to see Pacey standing in the doorway.