RE: Yep, decided to take out the ANs out of the revised chappies.

e_e Enjoy the chapter…

Greetings, Earthling

[Don't ask Squalo a question unless it's absolutely necessary. And if that does happen, please take care to put some earplugs in beforehand. Understand? ]

"Yeah, I understand." Spanner lazily replied to his boss' ramblings. His main focus was on the powdered jelly donut in his hand. When he first arrived in Japan, it came as a great disappointment that they didn't serve this particular cuisine. So he took it upon himself to relish in one of his childhood delicacies upon returning. Chomp. He was currently in a limousine headed to Varia HQ. The Italian countryside was quite a view, beautiful really. All was peaceful until, midway through his ride, his young boss called offering some 'last minute advice'.

[And under no circumstancemust you let Belphegor touch you. Though the same may apply to Lussuria…and Levi…ah, just don't let any of them touch you.]

Spanner's gaze wandered from the passing countryside to his precious jelly donut. He licked his lips. Chomp. "I appreciate your concern Vongola, but is this all really necessary?" He noticed a glop of jelly sagging from edge of his treat. He quickly slurped it into safety.

[Bathe twice a day to avoid any diseases. And stay away from Xanxus' office, at all costs.]

"Sorry, I am under the impression he owns the mansion."

[Well, yes, but most of the instructions are given by the second in command, Squalo. But if under some tragedy you are told to enter his office, slide a whiskey bottle under the door and leave. I repeat, do not enter the office, just slide whiskey under the door.]

"I'm fairly sure a whiskey bottle wouldn't be able to fit under a door," he muttered. Chomp. He really missed these little sugar coated carbohydrates. Ooh, note to self, pack extra before returning to Namimori.

Unaware of his listener's complete disregard, the Mafia boss kept up with his safety monologue until Spanner stepped onto the U driveway in front of the mansion.

[If they offer you any mysterious substances, just say no.]

"Ah, I'm so sorry to cut you off young Vongola, but I seem to have arrived." He sucked each of his fingers clean of remaining powder. He turned his attention to the grand entrance. Not a surprising site really. The brick mansion had sort of an ominous look going on, but overall quite classy. Ten points to the Varia.

[Eek! Be careful! Remember what I taught you, bob and weave, bob and weave!]

"Of course, of course. I wouldn't dream of forgetting your…advice. Ciao." Click!

Spanner turned towards the back of the limo where he was to collect his luggage. There he met the driver who hurriedly pulled his suitcase and toolbox out of the trunk.

"Good evening, sir." Spanner gave him a friendly smile.

The driver – who had been working for the Varia for far too long – looked upwards at the huge mansion. He gulped.

Looking back at Spanner he shook his head and said, "Psycho."

Surprised, the young mechanic looked at the man with amused eyes.

"Pardon?" He raised an eyebrow.

After shakily thrusting the bags into the other's hands, the unnamed driver sprinted back to the wheel where he took off at breakneck speed effectively causing the trunk to slam shut as he finished the U.

Spanner stood in shock for a good couple seconds. But only a couple, he shrugged it off and continued his journey up the steps to the door. He recalls Byakuran's servants having done much weirder things.

He dusted imaginary dirt from his jumpsuit and touched up his hair curl. Spanner was ready for his very first encounter with the Varia. First impressions weren't really his forte, but it was always worth a try.

Knock. Knock. Knock. He observed the liger doorknocker with great interest.

He heard on the other side of the mahogany doors and leaned forward enough to hear a muffled voice say, "Bel-sempai this is stupid."

"Just do it frog." Another voice…?

The door opened to reveal…an alien? He wasn't really sure, the massive frog combined with the green face kinda screamed not human.

"Greetings, Earthling."

Well, if that wasn't confirmation, then he didn't know what was. Still, Spanner decided to take a closer look before calling his buddies back at the U.M.A. Research Club. It was around human height, maybe teenage? It had all the features of a normal human, though the frog on its head threw the look off. Maybe it would be a good idea to send a picture back to his colleagues. He whipped out his phone and snapped a photograph of the unknown creature. The quality was satisfactory so he went about his normal greeting.

"Hello, I'm Spanner. What are you?" According to parents and teachers alike, Spanner was a strange child because he lacked the ability to read the atmosphere. This information may have been useful in preventing occurrences such as this one from happening.

The 'unidentified life form' intently stared at the odd man.

"Bel-sempaaaiii, we got a wild one."

The previous voice reintroduced itself from inside. "Ushishi~, Let him inside, frog."

The frog adolescent stepped aside, allowing the mechanic to enter.

What he saw upon entrance was a grand opening hall. To his right, there was a grand semi spiral staircase against the wall complete with a rich red velvet carpet running down the center. It gave the room an overall Renaissance feel. To the left of the staircase, a large entryway opened into a comfortable living room.

Inside, Spanner spotted a man he recognized, last seen on a picture depicting the very same image, with an Arcobaleno on his shoulder.

A light went off in Spanner's head. "I'm presuming you are Belphegor."

A blade whizzed dangerously close to his face.

"Ushishi~ It's Prince Belphegor to you."

The cloaked infant spoke, "Correct, are you supposed to be the mechanic?"

Spanner smiled back lazily. "Yup. I got a letter saying – "

"Ooh~ is the mechanic here~?" A flirtatious voice sounded from a small ways off.

Mammon – as he recalled – eerily turned his head back from the direction of the voice, "Run if you know what's good for you."

Hurried stomps made their way towards him. The mechanic warily looked towards the direction of the voice. He swallowed, "Excuse me?"

Heavy footsteps approached closer to one of the doorways.

The mysterious frog from the entrance popped up alongside Spanner. "Ooh, you're too late." He shook his head and turned his head away from Spanner pityingly.

The mechanic snapped his attention back to the doorway. One black leather boot at a time came in the most terrifying, the most horrifying, the most downright chilling villain to ever grace the seven continents with his iridescent boa. The metrosexual ruffian, Lussuria!

Okay, so maybe it wasn't that dramatic.

A tall man donning a black trench coat pranced through the doorway. Upon seeing Spanner, he leapt up and down much like a fangirl. A nervous smile worked its way upon Spanner's face. Lussuria bounded forward, "Helloo~ I am Lussuria. And you?" He draped himself over the mechanic's shoulders as he replied. "Ooh~ such a wonderful name!" He giggled.

The other occupants of the room looked on with disinterest. Ever free spoken, Fran voiced his complaints, "Groooooss."

Lussuria led Spanner back to the doorway from which he had arrived. Bel and Fran decided to tag along also. The door entered into a series of long hallways. "Sooo…we're going to the ballroom?" asked Spanner.

"Yes! Oh, you'll love it. I remember there was a ball for Nono's 30th anniversary twenty or so years ago and it was just…amazing. The entire room simply sparkled. Woman wore their best ball gowns and the men dressed to impress. I donned the most fabulous leather ensemble by the way. Then again that's not the point. I bet you couldn't find one person without a smile on their face. Even Boss enjoyed it." Lussuria now had his companions' full attention. "It was a room of pure elegance. From the gold drapes to the marble flooring, not a room in Italy even compared. But the best part was a floor to ceiling fountain, right in the center. I don't know how they did it, but even the water held a glistening gold." He smiled sadly. "I'd give anything just to have one more dance around that fountain. Anyways, that's impossible now."

Spanner turned to him confused. "What do you mean?"

"Ohh, the foundation collapsed after years of neglect. It had to be cleared away or else the ceiling would cave. The anniversary was its last ball," said Lussuria.

"Wow… That's a shame. I bet it was beautiful." Spanner frowned.

Lussuria replied wistfully, "It sure was."

"Hey no fair, I wasn't even born yet," said Fran.

Bel grinned. "Good. You would've ruined the picture with your frog face anyways. Ushishi~"

Lussuria interrupted the brewing quarrel, "This way." The hallway to their left led to a grand set of double doors. Lussuria approached the door and pulled a rusty key from his pocket. He attempted to unlock them, but to no avail. Spanner judged the lock to be jammed. There was no way they were getting in from this entrance. Spanner looked around them. He began to ask Lussuria if there was a back door when he heard a loud crunch. Lussuria put his leg down and approached the door a second time. This time the doors opened without any hitch. Or lock for that matter.

Lussuria ushered the trio into the ball room. When he entered Spanner's face fell. The space must have been really beautiful. But that was decades ago. Now the state of abandonment made his heart clench. Spanner stepped further into the room. Drapes lay torn on the floor along with numerous broken vases. The windows were caked with so much dirt they were barely transparent. Dozens of cloth covered tables were scattered across the room. Spanner noticed that the small stage in the back of the room housed the silhouette of a grand piano. He looked to the rafters and swore he saw a raccoon shuffle out of view.

"Soooo, what do you guys think?" Lussuria turned to them excitedly.

"Ew." Bel said. He shivered in disgust.

"Yeah, it smells like death…and death." Fran added.

Lussuria pouted and looked to Spanner.

"Well," Spanner strolled under the fountain's demolition marks, "it's definitely a fixer-upper."

At his assessment Lussuria leaped into the air and clapped hands. "This is great! So you can fix it up? Make it like new?"

Spanner turned to Lussuria surprised. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, I never said that."

"But you said it was a 'fixer-upper', correct?" Lussuria asked.

"Yes, but – "

"And you are a world class mechanic, right?" Lussuria questioned which felt more like interrogating.

"Yeah, but the fountain – "

"Then it's settled. As the mechanic you will do your job and restore the ballroom to its previous glory." Lussuria smiled.

"But – "

"We wouldn't want to report a problem to Boss so soon in your arrival, now would we?" Lussuria's smile turned decisively dark.

Spanner surrendered. "No."

"Fabulous~! You have one week starting tomorrow." And with that, Lussuria bounced out of the room, beaming grin back in place.

"Bu-Bu-Bu-Bu," Spanner was left in a sputtering mess as he tried to make sense of what just transpired.

Lussuria's head popped back in once more, "Oh and Bel and Fran, dear? Please show our guest to his room."

"Bu-Bu-Bu-Bu –"

"Bu-Bu-Bu-Bu – "

"Have a nice day dearies." Again, Lussuria disappeared.

The three remained unmoving and stared at the doors. The silence was absolute as they stood in shock. Did Lussuria just order a professional mechanic, a prince, and the third best illusionist in the world to do chores?

Bel stood in horror as he realizes this is true.

"Well," Spanner ended the silence first. "I see he's quite the manipulator."

Fran shook his head. "It's always the nice ones."

"And the old ladies," Bel added shaking his head.

Spanner and Fran turned to gawk at Bel.

He notices the piercing stares. "What?"

O

Spanner gazed at the garden from his new bedroom. His new lodgings were above par complete with a queen sized bed, a flat screen TV, and a wall of floor to ceiling windows. Thankfully he could close the curtains when it came time to change into his pajamas.

Fran and Bel were somewhat unwilling to go through the trouble of finding his room, but it worked out in the end. Bel left and Fran had him follow him to the Varia's rooming wing. The hallway directly across was the guest room wing. A servant already dropped his luggage off at his room.

The sunset was a tranquil sight. However it didn't distract him from the pressures of his new project. He could not possibly sum up the mess he was in. So he did what he did best. He put it off.

The jet lag from his flight was catching up so he decided to turn in early for once. He settled onto the bed and reached to turn off the side lamp. He hesitated as his hand hovered over his phone. Tsuna requested that he call him once he was settled to let him know how he was doing.

Well as a recap, he met four out of the seven members, was almost killed by one, was almost mentally scarred by another, got assigned an impossible job, and forgot to get something to eat before coming to his room. Hm yes, it was probably best that he didn't inform Tsuna of his situation quite yet. It can wait till morning like the rest of his responsibilities because for now he was wearing nightcap and ready for a peaceful night of rest.

Haha, turns out I changed tense halfway through the chapter. Nonetheless, all's fair in love and war. That did not relate at all to anything! :D

Still not really liking the style, but hopefully that will change because beginning after this chapter the content is fresh out the oven!