"Shit shit shit shit..." Batman muttered as the heroes advanced on him. Captain America threw his vibranium shield at him. Batman ducked under the shield, but it bounced off the cave wall and came back at him. He backflipped over the shield, and threw a magnetic grapple hook at it, which was attached to a cord. The magnetic hook latched onto the shield, and Batman swung it up, cutting through the scaffolding above him. He brought it down on Captain America, but Cap dodged and rolled out of the way. The crate fell down and shattered against the cave floor, scattering Batman's gadgets. Batman yanked back on the rope, and caught the shield.
Antman and his wife, the Wasp, followed Captain America through the portal, and Ironman and Thor soon joined them as well. Batman picked up a canister filled with Pym particles as the Wasp and Antman shrunk down and flew at him. He threw three baterangs at them, but the wasp was very agile with her insect wings, as was Antman as he rode his flying ant. (WTF?)
They flew around him, too small to punch. Batman took the fourth baterang and stabbed it into the canister, puncturing the metal and releasing the pym particles. The heroic couple grew to their normal size, and batman used the moment of their disintorientation to to stab them both in the face.
"Damn, he really, has gone insane!" Powergirl said. "I'm glad that every single superhero from that other universe was so willing to follow you into battle, Wonder Woman."
"Well, I just hope it will be enough." Wonder Woman said, stepping through the portal.
Ironman shot Repulor beams at the crazy detective, but Batman blocked his blows with Captain America's shield. Thor flew down and tried to hit Batman with his hammer, but Batman raised the shield again. The force of Thor's magical lightning hammer caused cracks to appear on the vibranium surface, so Batman wrapped yellow energy around his fist and punched Thor in the face before he could deliver another blow. The Norse God stumbled back.
Rockets rained down on Batman from Ironman's shoulders, but he wrapped himself in a protective bubble of Yellow light. Batman pulled a device out of his utility belt and shot it at Ironman. It was a three fingered claw on a rope, and it went straight for the arc reactor on Irnoman's chest. It bounced off, and Tony laughed.
"What, did you think you could just rip it out of my chest?" Ironman asked.
"Well, you displayed your weakness with a glowing light." Batman said, the yellow bubble disappearing, and a yellow energy duplicate of the device he had just used appeared in his hand. "So I assumed that you were a dumbass."
he shot the yellow three fingered claw at Ironman, and this time he was successful in ripping out the man's heart battery thing. Ironman fell into the darkness, clutching at his heart.
Captain America lunged at Batman, but Batman crouched under him and used his shoulders to send Cap flying over the cliff.
Spiderman and Daredevil apeared through the portal. "Come on, bring it on!" Spiderman said. Batman threw a few batterangs, but Spiderman dodged a few of them before catching the last one in his web and slinging it back. Batman dodged his own batterang and dived for the pile of gadgets. He grabbed a canister of some unknown gas and another dart gun, but was caught in Spiderman's webs before he could use it. "You can't cut through that shit." Spiderman quipped as he tied his arms behind him.
"God, you are so annoying." batman said.
"You think you have it bad?" Daredevil asked. "Try sneaking into a crimeboss's mansion with the guy."
"Hey, which side are you on?" Spiderman asked, turning to face Daredevil. Batman used this opportunity to spray the gas into the air, and the cloud quickly dissolved the webs binding him. Spiderman's spidersense kicked in, and he blocked Batman's punch. But Batman's reflex's were fast as well, and he shot a dart into Spiderman's neck.
"What the... what the hell..." Spiderman muttered as he stumbled backwards.
"I stole that from Kraven the Hunter while I was in your world." Batman explained. "It should nullify you're spidersense."
Batman proceeded to kick Spiderman's spider-ass, but Daredevil intervened. Batman grabbed spiderman's wrist and pointed it at Daredevil, and pressed down on the trigger. Daredevil's head was instantly covered in sticky webs.
"AAAHHH! I'm def!" Daredevil cried out.
"Don't you mean 'AAAHHH! I'm blind' ?" Spiderman asked, and Batman karate chopped him in the neck, knocking him out.
"He's always been blind, idiot." Batman said, and grabbed Daredevil, throwing him over the cliff.
"HULK SMASH!"
Batman turned to face the portal, and saw a green giant. He picked up a dart gun, and said "Hulk, calm the fuck down." he shot the dart at him, but it just bounced off of Hulk's rubbery skin. "Oh shit." Batman dived to the side as Hulk brought down his fists, shaking the entire cave.
Green Arrow arrived, out of breathe. He put his hands on his knees, breathing heavily, before standing up and saying to Wonder Woman. "Sorry I'm late. I'm the only one who can't fly or run faster then sound."
"Don't worry, it's fine." She said as Hawkeye came through the portal.
"Who's that guy?" Green Arrow asked.
Hawkeye shot an arrow at Batman, so simply leaned to side. The arrow whizzed past him and exploded against the wall.
"Hey, you remind me of someone I know." batman said, catching the next arrow. "Is your name 'Purple Arrow'?"
"No it's Hawkeye." Hawkeye said as Batman shot a yellow laser at Hulk while disarming the arrow bomb with his teeth.
"Huh, well, you wire your arrow bombs the same way Green Arrow does." Batman said, and flung the arrow so it impaled Green Arrow through the heart.
"Oh the irony!" Green Arrow exclaimed as he fell to the floor, dead.
Hawkeye charged at Batman and swung his bow it him, which had been sharpened into a blade. Batman grabbed him by the forearm and flipped him onto his back. Hulk jumped up into the air, attempting to land on Batman. Batman rolled to the side, and Hulk crushed Hawkeye under his feet.
Batman ran up a staircase as Hulk chased after him, demolishing the staircase.
Cloak and Dagger arrived through the portal.
"Who are we fighting again?" Dagger asked, and Batman suddenly dived into the folds of Cloak's... cloak.
"WERE PUNY BATMAN GO?" Hulk asked.
"Ummm..." Cloak stammered, and batman's spiky arm reached out of his chest and grabbed Dagger by the wrist, dragging her into Cloak's dimension. "Oh no!" Cloak exclaimed, and white light shot out of his eyes, ears, mouth and nose. Beams of light shot out all over his body, and Cloak exploded into a white flash, knocking Hulk off his feet.
Batman stood where Cloak had just been, completely unaffected by the blast.
"How did you... how did you survive?" Wonder Woman wondered.
"I'm Batman." Batman said, and stabbed her in her beautiful face with a bat shaped knife.