A/N: Hikari: I'm so sorry for the HUUUUUGE delay! I have a reason, I do, really! But, as it is my habit, I'm saving my excuses to the end and bother you no longer. Onwards to the story!
Kapitel 2: In diesem kleine Vogelkäfig
Looking out from the window of his room, März von Ludowing didn't see the beautiful nighty scenery before him. He didn't see the moonlit forest at the distance, nor hear the sound of wind blowing throughout the grounds and the trees. He didn't feel the wood of the table he was leaning to, nor the chill of the bit of coldness that reached inside. No, he wasn't mentally even in the room at all.
His mind was on that horrible day many years ago, on that moment that flashed before in non-stopping loop. It wasn't abnormal, he got lost in his memories quite a lot, especially when the anniversary was closing up. And, even though it was so long ago, he never forgot a single detail.
/V~T\
He had no idea. About what? About several things in fact. He had no idea that the two men in he met in the forest had anything bad in mind. He had no idea that his mother would be accused to be a witch. Nor did he have even the slightest guess that Elisabeth would appear before him just in time to save him.
März really, honestly never saw it coming. And he never got the chance to do something about it.
When he was pulled away from falling into the well, he had been more than surprised to see his dearest friend before him. And then, everything happened so fast. The skinny man came closer to the two of them he could see the rage in the man's eyes. März was sure they were going to die. But then, just before the man stepped forward to push both of them down the well, he heard a quiet whisper behind him.
"Mär… run." He couldn't even react when he was pushed away from the well when the skinny man attacked. März looked behind him just in time to see Elisabeth disappear beyond the wells edge.
"Elisabeth… Elisabeth-!" His voice echoed throughout the clearing, bouncing off the trees and the walls of the church. No… No, this couldn't be! She couldn't be-! For a short moment he entered in a state of complete shock. She had fallen in… Elisabeth had fallen in… Why..? How could this happen..?
He was forcibly snapped out of her trance as his mother, Therese, appeared before him to block an attack the man had attempted.
"Mär, go! Run!" Her tone was slightly scared, but determined. März started to protest, but at the glance his mother gave him, desperate and pleading, he reluctantly turned around and ran to the forest.
/V~T\
He clenched his fists in regret and guilt, a thousand and more sentences starting with "what if" spinning around and around in his head. What if he hadn't run? What if he had pushed Elisabeth away from the well instead? What if he had never guided the men to his home? What if..?
Hitting the windowsill time after time with his fist, März was once again filled with emotion of guilt and anger towards none other than himself. Why, why had he been so naïve? If he had been just a bit wiser, just a bit more suspicious… If he had thought a little quicker in order to save her from her fate… If only he had thought of the possibility of her still being alive at the time. If he had, if he would had checked, she could had been alive down there, she could had been…
If, if… It was no use repeating that two-lettered word. He calmed down a bit at that thought, distancing himself from the anger. With that gone, only grief was left behind. There was nothing he could had done. With that argument he tried to reason with himself. He had been only a mere child back then. If he had indeed not ran, he would had been pushed in along with her. If he had not leaded the men there, they would had just found another way to get to his mother. If he had been able to go back, and if she indeed had been still alive, he would have had no way to get her out.
There was nothing he could have done. And yet it all still felt like it was all his fault. Shaking his head and taking a slightly deeper breath, März stuck to his reasoning. He couldn't have gone back, there was no way, seeing what had happened after he left the clearing…
/V~T\
He ran. Ran through the woods, barely dodging stray branches and jumping over roots. Nothing he had not done before, true, but currently it was at least ten times harder, seeing that he could barely see in front of him through the tears that were filling his eyes, falling down his cheeks and filling up again, at a pace faster than what he could wipe away. Not than he cared about that anyway.
The events within the last few minutes replayed in his head constantly, and as the sounds behind him faded away due to the distance, his mind filled with the sole sense of having to get away, having to survive. So, even when he tripped and fell down, he wasted no time standing up again to run once more. Further, further away…
By the time his legs finally gave in beneath him, dusk had already fallen upon the forest. As he lay on the ground, soft with fallen leaves and moss, he cried. He sobbed and the ground became wet with his tears.
März very nearly never cried. Not when he fell down, for his mother would always be there to help him up. Not when he was separated from his friend, for he had been sure they would meet again. But now…
Now they were both gone. His mother wasn't there to help him up now, he would never see Elisabeth again. He was alone. So alone… Only now he realized that he was still holding the doll his dearest friend had gave him in his hand, gripping it firmly. He pulled it closer to him, and hugged it. It was his only memento of the life he'd been living so far.
At some point he must have fallen into deep sleep, for he saw dreams, nightmares of the horrible thoughts swirling in an incoherent mess within his mind. He could see the men, now with grins of malice over their features, chasing after him, shouting at him to bring them to his mother. He could see his mother screaming him to run, faster and faster. And finally, März could see Elisabeth, falling down, down, to the well, again and again and again…
He woke up with a scream to see an unfamiliar place and unfamiliar eyes looking at him worriedly.
/V~T\
Breathing deeply März thought back at the moment he'd woken up. The extravagant room he had found himself in had belonged to the noble family of von Edelstein, residing in a nearby town. A hunter had found him from the forest unconscious and brought him to the town. While he had been resting in the hunter's house, the noble couple had came in to seek his services. They had seen März and, after hearing about him, the wife took pity on him and pleaded on her husband that they'd take him in.
As he found out, the husband had agreed, though slightly reluctantly, more than anything to please his wife. So, he had been gone when März awoke, with only the wife staying by his side.
To say he had been disoriented was an understatement. Confused, horrified and in complete panic? Closer, but still not enough. The fact that he had tried to climb out from the open window to escape, even if they were on the second floor, before he was calmed down told much about his state at the time. Eventually though, he had calmed down. And as the memories from before falling asleep chose the moment to rush back, he hadn't been able to speak for a long while through his tears and sobs.
The Frau had been understanding and had waited patiently. She poured some tea for him, and as he didn't have the strength to hold up the cup without dropping it, she did that for him.
He wasn't sure how long it took for him to finally settle down, but when he did, he only then noticed how hungry and tired he was, despite sleeping for who knows how long. The wife had graciously not asked anything yet, saving the questions and explanations for later, and had offered him little something to eat before sending him to sleep again.
The next time he had woken up was the next morning. The wife had been gone at the moment, so he had thought of making his escape. As guilty as he had felt for leaving without saying a thing, he just couldn't feel safe in a strange place like this. He'd been used to the outside, living in forests, travelling from place to place. Even now, years later he didn't feel comfortable inside.
Unfortunately for him, the window he had tried to escape earlier from had been locked.
/V~T\
He was out of luck. Or, well, he had been out of luck for some time now, he thought while wincing at the thought of the events before this house.
Looking around, März noted various aspects about the room itself. It was most likely a guestroom, as, although extravagant and way too elegant for his tastes, it lacked personality. For his relief he saw the doll Elisabeth had given him on the bedside table, safe and sound, even if a little dirty.
He was quick to realize that he would have to leave the room through the door in order to find a way out. Now that his head was finally clear, he had come up with a sort of a plan. Once he was out from the house, he'd find a way back to the forest and the clearing. He wasn't sure how, but he would try to track down his mother from there. She was probably hiding out somewhere, waiting for a chance to come and find him, he was sure about that.
Then they could continue their life like before. Of course, he intentionally ignored the fact that nothing would be the same anymore. That he could not continue his life like before. That…
No. For now, he would just get out, get to the forest and find his mother.
With that plan, as flawed and incomplete as it was, decided, he set out to complete the first step of it. Getting out from the house.
So, he took his doll from the bedside table and walked up to his first obstacle. Carefully he opened the door, glad to notice that it had been left open, and glanced at the hallway. No one in sight, the coast was clear. Sneaking out from the room he closed the door behind him. It would take a bit longer to notice he was missing that way.
Sneaking on his toes along the hallway he soon found his way to the entrance hall. There he found his next obstacle. Servants. While the hallway had been quiet and vacant, the entrance hall had so much life that there was no way he could get out without being noticed.
At this point he stopped to think. What other place could be a possible way out? Thinking back to one night quite some time ago, when Elisabeth (he winced again at the thought of her) had in turn showed him around her home. While the place had had even more space and decorations, the basic layout was probably the same. And with that, he found his solution: There was the servants' entrance, the back door! And that could be found from the kitchen. Smiling ever so slightly in triumph he sneaked around again.
The kitchen was huge, in his opinion anyway. He hadn't seen many kitchens in his short life, but he could tell this was one big place just for making food. And this place, too, was full of people. But unlike the entrance hall, the kitchen had many places to hide, so it wouldn't be a big deal to crawl under the tables through the room to the door at the far end.
And what he did was exactly that. But he didn't get all the way there, however. As he was crawling under one table, he overheard two maids discussing.
"It was really awful, I tell you", one of them was saying as he had to stop to wait for a butler to pass before he could continue, "Frau was completely horrified by the time it ended."
"I can imagine", the other answered, "I once saw one witch get burned at stake. Her screams still ring in my ears when I think back at it."
Even though the coast was clear once again, März didn't move. After hearing the word 'witch', he couldn't. Not after everything that had happened. He didn't know whether he wanted to hear more or not, but the word had nailed him on his spot under the table. It was someone else, he told himself. Just because a witch was burned right after the events of… however long it had been, it didn't necessarily mean… Right?
"This one screamed alright, but you know what she did before that? She laughed. She outright laughed!"
"How horrible. I'm guessing the witch of Thüringen was the real thing in the end, huh?"
"I'm more than sure about it." And so was the stunned boy beneath the table the two were leaning on. The witch of Thüringen… That was what the men had called his mother. That could only mean…
Suddenly he had no more will to escape. Actually, he had no will to do anything at all. That was it. The last bit of hope he had left had been taken away. He was alone. Completely alone.
/V~T\
März couldn't remember how long he stayed under the table after that. He hadn't cried. When he'd been found, he hadn't resisted being pulled out, but neither had he even tried to walk on his own. At that moment in his life, he had wished he would too be dead.
He had been told later that it had taken a full week from him to gain his strength back. He didn't remember much of it. It all seemed like a mess of despair and dark thoughts to him now. He still got depressed from time to time. Like today, for an example.
Sighing he leaned to his hands, thinking of what happened after the week. He hadn't been surprised when the Frau had proposed his adoption to her husband. Neither he had not been confused by Herr von Edelstein's reluctance, or the fact that he ended up agreeing anyway. He had changed.
He didn't resist the adoption; he had no place to go, so why bother? At first he simply didn't care what happened to him.
But as time went by, there were some things he found himself caring about. When he had to introduce himself, he never did it as 'von Edelstein', but always 'von Ludowing'. They thought at first that he just hadn't gotten used to the new name, but soon enough it was realized that he did so on purpose. He never shared the reason with anyone.
When someone had tried to take the doll from him, the reason being 'boys shouldn't play with dolls', he would never give it up, and even once bit some maid for trying to take it. That, too, remained a secret for only himself.
The wife was the only one who seemed to understand, even if it was just a fragment of the truth. She would always tell others to leave him be, for 'he must have had something horrible happen to him' and 'it's okay for him to remember his past, no one should try to take that away from him'. While the first reason was correct, the second was not.
It was not his past he needed to remember. It was his guilt.
So, as he turned his gaze from the world outside the window to the bookcase of his room, ruby eyes directed to the third shelf counting from upwards, he didn't feel fond memories flowing to his mind from the doll that sat there. It was all quilt, grief and melancholy.
He closed his eyes and sighed again.
"Elisabeth… What am I supposed to do now?" As if he didn't have enough grief already, just a month ago his only support within the household had died mysteriously. No one knew the reason for the Frau's death, as she had just seemed to cease from living completely in her sleep. Ever since then everyone, from the Herr himself to the stable boy had started avoiding him like he had the plague. Not only that, he was also forbidded to step out of the house completely, making him finally realize what Elisabeth must had felt like.
He could only imagine the reason for this. Even if it hadn't been for his appearance, the fact that he was one of the only people to see her alive last. They probably now just had gained a reason for avoiding him with this.
He didn't care, however. Whatever came upon him, he would take it. There was nothing anyone could take from him anymore. Nothing.
So, as his thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door, he wasn't surprised to hear that the Herr had called for him. He stood up, giving one last melancholic glance at the doll, before following the servant out from the door.
What he failed to notice was a pair of translucent figures in the most shadowy corner of his room…
A/N: Hikari: So... um... My explanation? I couldn't decide how to go about this one. I couldn't go with the original story, as, well, it didn't fit. And then I tried to stay faithful to the fairytale theme, and started looking for another story that could fit. That didn't work out in the end, so I had to come up with a new fairytale, basing it on the original, but with major changes. And that took time. So there, that's my excuse. *someone throws something* Ow... Sorry again!
But! I have reviews to answer!
pika318: Yes, I've seen some of those too, and they have been working as inspirators for me while writing. And haha, that point about your sister~ That's unique~
Silver Flare of Spirit: Hehe~ Thank you! And, hum, that partner-in-crime thing... I have some idea about it, explainin more a bit later.
BlazingKaiogra: I had a kind of "what if" going on when I started~ And I sure will continue, even if it may take some time at times ^^"
dawntodusk: I know it's long. My fingers prove for it XD I'm trying to write each of the chapters really long (reaching 6 pages on Word O_O) I hope I won't ruin her image later either haha~ At first I hadn't thought about her remembering anything, but in the end, it just came out that way ^^" Aaaaand that last comment made me realize just how long I kept everyone waiting... I feel ashamed
Oh-kay, about the chapter and the story overall before I go away~ As said, I had to come up with a completely new story with this thing, but in a way that it would result the same in the end. Yes, that means März is going to get crucified. Yup. But, aside from Torikago/Haritsuke, the rest of the stories are still the same ones as in the original. But there is one thing I haven't really decided yet:
The side-kick of Elisabeth the batonwielder. Not Elize, that is for sure, as the doll is with März. And not März-doll, I just don't see that. So, I have come up with two possibilities: Therese, in some form, or... *drumroll* Idolfreed! I can't really decide, although I am leaning onto Herr Erhenberg (literally *shot*). Ideas? Suggestions?
Well, anyhow.
See ya all later~!