Chapter 1

Shiver

The early morning rays of sunshine seeped through the sheer curtains and with it a calm breeze, flowing in from the partly open window.

Sada leisurely opened her eyes, blinking several times clearing her vision before sleepily turning over, unhappy to be up this early. She heard the soft snore of the man lying next to her and watched his bare chest rise and fall as she did most mornings. She smiled as she stared at his sleeping form. Seeing him relaxed and peaceful was a rare sight, something she secretly enjoyed especially when awake he was so apprehensive. She moved closer, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart and lightly ran her hand across his chest, before kissing him on the forehead.

"Good morning," she whispered when she felt him stir and curled up next to him, resting her head on his shoulder, staring up at him.

Though his eyes weren't opened yet, a smile grew on Takashi's lips. "G'morning," he replied drowsily, wrapping an arm around her. "What time is it?"

"Too early for anybody to be up," she told him with a laugh, running her hand down his hard stomach.

"I know," he breathed, a small amount of annoyance in his tone. "I know. I have to leave soon. I'm supposed to meet Hikaru and Shikamaru at the gate by noon." He removed his arm from her hip and sat up, pulling her close. He brushed a stray hair from her face and his smiled weakened slightly. "How are you?" he asked uneasily, searching her face. "Are you feeling better?"

She let out a sigh. Sooner or later, she knew he was bound to ask and she had hoped for later. Though the nightmare last night, she thought was calmer than the most recent ones, there was no denying they were happening more frequently and Sada could tell from the look on Takashi's face that he had no intention of letting it slide. He never asked what they were about anymore because it was the same thing, just replayed over again and Sada was grateful he never did. She would rather lie to herself about it and pretend that it doesn't happen. It was better than facing the truth of it all.

Sada knew that Takashi saw himself as her protector, the slayer of her inner demons, but truth be told, even he couldn't save her from everything, though he badly wanted to. When they were genin, he was the exact same way and she only wished she had noticed it earlier - realized how much she cared about him. Sada swiftly climbed into his lap and slung her slender arm around his neck, giving him a knowing smile. "I'm fine," she lied, taking her free hand in his lacing their fingers together.

"But you weren't fine last night." Takashi rested his back on the headboard and exhaled loudly. "I'm going to be gone three days for this mission, Sada and I'm just worried... Maybe you should stay with Sakura while I'm away? It would make me feel bet-."

She tenderly kissed him, grasping the back of his head, pulling him to her. His hand wove through her silk brown tresses with the other on her thigh, gradually making its way higher. Sada parted her lips, inviting him to do that same. She knew this was the only way to stop him from talking and she felt him smile as he kissed her back.

"You worry too much, Takashi," she told him, breaking away. "I'll see if she can make me a sleeping aid to help me get through the night, okay? Don't worry, I'll be fine and besides you've got to pack soon."

Takashi let out a laugh and sat up, pressing his body to hers and licked his lips. "Changing the subject gets you nowhere," he said lightheartedly. He hastily gripped her back and lowered her down onto the mattress, careful as he sank down on top of her. "I still have a few hours before then…," he trailed off, giving her a kiss on the tip of her nose.

She smiled, biting her lower lip and wrapped her legs tightly around his waist. It didn't take long for her old chūnin shirt to come off.

…

"How is he doing?" Sada asked, knowing Tenten knew exactly what she meant.

It had been late afternoon when Sada ran into Tenten. Fortunately enough for the both of them today was their day off and were roaming the streets trying to keep themselves occupied. They had gotten to talking, catching up on the events of the past few weeks and ended up at the Dango Shop. And neither one of them could turn down the aroma of sweets wafting from the store, particularly when one of them was six months along.

The kunoichi sat across from her, glowing with a smile and sweetly rubbed her swollen stomach. "Good, good," she told her thoughtfully, the gold band on her left hand caught the light and twinkled for a moment. "I was at the hospital earlier and they said he was a strong and healthy baby. They said he's due sometime in autumn."

Sada watched her friend stroke her stomach again, and couldn't help but smile herself. Tenten had complained she was stuck with desk work until after the baby came and couldn't wait for the chance to get back out there on a mission, but Sada knew better. Once her son is born, both she and Neji wouldn't be going anywhere. Little did they know, their unborn son already had his parents wrapped around his little finger.

She wore a pale green dress, saying with a laugh 'dresses are the only thing that fit now,' and Sada noticed she had let her hair grow out, instead of two buns, there was a long braid going down her back. It had only been several months since the two had tied the knot but they were together years before and Neji sure took his time in asking.

"Have you picked out a name yet?"

"I really want to name him after Neji's father. Hizashi meant so much to him and he died so early in his life. Do you think he'll like the idea?" Tenten took of large bite of anmitsu, licking the spoon clean. This was her third bowl.

"Of course I think he'll like it!" Sada told her, pushing aside her empty tea cup. "I think he'll love it." Sada furrowed her brow. "By the way, where is Neji?"

The wide grin from Tenten's face disappeared and much more solemn look took its place. "He's on special assignment but he should be back today."

Sada frowned when she saw her friend's demeanor change but tried to keep the light conversation going. "Oh, that's right. I forgot an Anbu team was deployed to escort the medic-nin back home to Suna, the ones that came in for training." Sada watched as Tenten moved the contents of the bowl around with a spoon. She looked like she was lost in thought; her brown eyes focused on something faraway. "Is Neji doing okay?" Sada ventured, breaking Tenten from her small trance. "I heard that during his last mission he was banged up pretty bad."

The mother-to-be sighed and shook her head. "I don't know," she replied, visibly shaken. "When they brought him back he could barely walk. He's better now, though he should still be resting." She gave Sada a sad smile. Sada reached out and took her hand, squeezing it, letting her know she was there for her. "I just - I think it's just me, but for a while now it seems whenever our shinobi return they're all so badly beaten. It's almost like th-they were…"

"Deliberately attacked?" Sada finished the sentence for her, staring at her in surprise. Tenten then waved her hand back and forth dismissing the idea and told Sada she must have pregnancy paranoia. Sada chuckled and agreed, finishing out the rest of their time in silence.

When they went their separate ways, she hadn't realized how late it was getting. The sun was hanging low on the forest tree line. The lanterns were lit, lining the street corners and sides of buildings. Sada stopped half way down the dirt road, turning a small pendant over with her thumb and forefinger. The one Takashi had given her as birthday gift last year.

What Tenten implied earlier had stuck with her. Deliberately attack? Could she be right? Tenten had the best analytical skills, Sada had seen. It was a possibility. She thought back to hours ago as she waved to Takashi, seeing him off, watching him leave with Hikaru and Shikamaru. What if that was the last time she saw them? The thought etched itself across her mind until it came to a small door, a threshold Sada couldn't bring herself to step over. What would she be willing to do if it came down to it? Did she have enough power to truly fight? It at was something, no matter how hard she tried, was permanently there and it bothered her –tugged at her being.

What happened all those years ago still haunted her. Every decision she made was based on the tiny bruise on her neck.

For a while afterwards, she kept everyone at a distance. It was so much easier to shut people out if they thought you didn't care. It was safer and no one would get hurt, at least that's what she told herself. Yet, Sada had found that it was difficult to do so. She couldn't keep everyone out no matter how hard she tried. It was impossible.

What if Takashi…

"Enough." She let the necklace drop, falling until it came to rest below her collarbone. "Stop. Just stop." She let out a sigh and shook her head. She was being ridiculous, thinking like that.

The wind had died and there was stillness in the air before she felt the presence appear behind her. She turned quickly, silently cursing them – whoever they were. She had, had an audience and was occupied by her thoughts, she didn't realize it. To her dismay, it was an Anbu Black Op. The white and red mask nearly glowing in the light of the lanterns and stood only several feet away.

Her stomach turned when he spoke. "Sada Kobayashi," he began with a bow. "Lady Tsunade instructed I bring you to her immediately."

…

Sada was frozen in place, staring down at the scroll with trembling hands. This couldn't be happening.

She thought for sure she would lose the contents of her stomach. She kept reading the same words over again, hoping if she concentrated hard enough the ink would melt off the paper. She could feel Lady Hokage's hot gaze on her but Sada was unable to look at her. Everything she had dreaded was coming to pass. Everything she worked so hard to control was falling from her grasp. The woman had to be insane, there was no other explanation.

Damn it, she was a shinobi of Konoha. She shouldn't be scared.

But she was.

"I - ," Sada began, finally finding her voice. She tried to keep a composed façade but Lady Tsunade could see through it, there was no doubt in her mind. "I can't. Find somebody else."

The Godaime laced her fingers together, hiding half of her face and leaned forward in her chair. Her office was empty, even Shizune was absent. The windows behind her brought in the only source of light, illuminating her shadow on the walls. The silence between the two of them swept over her and left her perturbed. "I'm not giving you a choice, Sada." There was no room for discussion in her voice. "If I didn't think you were capable of this, I wouldn't let you go."

"Lady Hokage, please." Her voice quivered.

"You have no choice in the matter," Tsunade told her with a frown. "The scroll was signed by the Five Kage, only a select few know about it. There is no use in lying about the fact that something – I don't know what yet but something is coming. And I can tell you who is standing behind it all, Orochimaru."

The Five Kage. She stared down at the signatures. Written so simply and damning at the same time. How could they justly write her life away? She ran her eyes over the passage again. A select few? That would explain why Shizune wasn't there. Even the one person Lady Tsunade trusted the most wasn't present. What exactly did she want from her?

She stared at the Hokage Monument. All the great men that shaped the village all stared at her with conviction. She clutched the sides of the scroll, wrinkling the rice paper. She had this sinking feeling that if she left, she'd never return.

Sada shook her head, confused. "Then why stop the missions? The ones where we tried to find Him and his hideout?" She placed the scroll on Lady Hokage's desk. Sada stopped calling the Snake Sannin by his real name long ago and when she did, it always left a bitter taste in her mouth. "If they want to find him so badly, then why stop?" Her voice shook, not in fear but anger.

Tsunade sighed and looked down at her desk. "Because we already know where he is." Sada felt her mouth fall open and her brows knitted together, she shook her head slightly. "We have a spy on the inside, giving us information." She fixed her gaze on the kunoichi before her. "And this is where you come in, Sada."

I just want to say for the record, I'm super upset Neji died in the manga. I know it was awhile ago but I'm like bummed. Still. Him and Tenten were supposed to be together! Oh well, they can be together in my mind...and in this fanfic! MWHAHA! Enjoy the update. :D