The Fifth, Matchmaker
A NaruSaku Fan fiction
Supposed to be entry for the NaruSaku's Fifth Anniversary Contest
silverygreen
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except perhaps all the redundancies and improper characterizations you find in this story.
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CHAPTER 2: Two, is not yet that much.
"Who are you?" Where the first words she uttered and only the way her eyes narrowed showed the distaste she felt for the white-haired. Sakura-san! I cheered happy with the signs of her jealousy. Kiba might get the money after all, if they continue this pace Naruto and Sakura may end up confessing faster than predicted.
Naruto, who blushed deeply when Eris had let him go, looked at the girl in awestruck. He tilted his head towards hers again, apparently hopeful for more. But a millisecond later, as if burned, he averted his face and subtly wiped his lips with the sleeve of his black shirt. I am close to laughing out loud when he had stared at Eris more than slightly troubled and embarrassed.
Yes! You go show her who you belong to, Naruto!
Though I think his reaction may be explained with the well-known incident that has caused to question his sexual preferences, such hilarity really! It was the talk of the whole Konoha that even the elders have asked the Hokage safety precautions just to ensure that his sexuality was secured.
I don't know the whole details but I'm sure that the rumor was caused by a certain very gorgeous homosexual. Naruto seemingly have been so entranced with him that he was fooled into thinking he was a double x-chromosome creation of Kami. They shared few chaste kisses here and there, uh… according to those gossipy girls anyway. And when things had become so intimate, the future Hokage suddenly found himself holding something that does not really belong to those of Eve's race.
Err, that's what been gossiped, I don't take claim to all those.
I was so immersed with the memory of that particular town talk that I was greatly taken off guard when Eris had daringly stepped to Sakura. She sized her up with a haughty air.
"Just a fan, Haruno-san," the voice that formerly sounded so endearing and enchanting had been nothing but a high-shrilling tone this time. How did I ever admire her, moments before? My body reflexively flinched when she had laughed out of the blue, maddeningly and terrifyingly at the same time.
My torture ended swiftly though, because Naruto's incessant rubbing took their attention sooner than I thought they would. Eris' smile turned sly and dangerous, obviously interpreting his actions differently. Instead of feeling down, she inched closer to him and tried to engage him into another lip lock but failing pathetically.
Ha!
Naruto had the mind to dodge, quite suavely this time in my opinion and he started to approach their designated table. Walking beside Sakura (or in this case using Sakura as a shield) he loudly tried to divert the attention to other things.
"Kiba! Man, how are you?" He shouted more fervently than usual, increasing their pace by walking a little faster when the white-haired temptress tried to cross in between him and Sakura for the second time. Kiba, who by now had stopped exchanging childish insults with Ino, nodded stiffly to him. He still looked sour with the way Naruto had managed to grab his date's attention faster than he can.
When they reached the seats, the owner who was such a bastard before had giddily approached Naruto and greeted him very jubilantly. "Naruto-sama! It's a pleasure seeing you here!"
Years after the third ninja war, people still continued to idolize and exalt Naruto's name. His parts and heroisms during those times have seemingly been never forgotten. It may have been such a heartwarming sight to see how the Konoha's view changed, from seeing him as the monster who destroyed the village to the hero they could never live without but there's some things that are really worth irking for. Like this guy for example!
But I guess, since it's a long standing rumor (and kind of a fact right now) that Naruto is just months away to be named Hokage with Tsunade-sama's coming retirement. People tend to give good, very good impressions in front of him.
And to our surprise, instead of the table Inuzuka had painstakingly prepared for them, (it was a well-known restaurant that in order to get a reservation you must call two months ahead) they were graciously granted the VIP room. Only the daimyos, Kages and higher-ranking personas of the villages were allowed to dine in this room. Because of this given privilege, I saw Eris' face visibly glowed towards Naruto. That's one star-struck fan girl for you, Naruto!
Oh, I'm glad that I strategically hid a camera in each room (Ino's insistence) and because of that we were able to witness the tight atmosphere inside the room. Luckily they placed themselves in the camera's field of vision. Each of their expressions were clearly seen even from afar like the way, the leech's face glowed happily, along with Kiba's almost permanent scowl and Sakura looking a… little… if I interpreted correctly… miffed with the whole ordeal.
And the best of all?
It was Naruto's reaction, he was bordering in between being disgusted and horrified with Eris' hands trying to grasp him every minute possible.
"Ha~!" Ino's gleefully remarked. There's no mistaking that triumphant smirk plastered on her face. It spells one thing, mind you: prepare yourself for the upcoming chaos.
-----x3
Due to some unforeseen and unbelievable circumstances made by fate, my prediction about more chaos coming did ensue. Jeez, I should be a fortune teller with the way I predict these stupid things. I don't know how it happened but if Ino had been totally miffed with Kiba's success previously, it was the exact opposite as of now.
She found herself immensely enjoying 'the show' as what she had dubbed, not forgetting to make snobby remarks here and there whenever Kiba gets disgruntled with Eris' actions. She continued her sarcastic commentary for Kiba's apparent dilemma and goodness, kami save us!
"It turns out that it's really the greatest thing to watch!" She said under her breath loud enough for us (Shikamaru, Hinata and I were sharing her table) to hear but a little softer to make sure that the others doesn't.
We all simultaneously rolled our eyes in exasperation. We might have paid attention to that particular comment if only she had not repeated that for almost the third time around.
I'm not sure how she did it but once settled inside the room; Eris was able to manipulate the tides to her favor and placed herself next to Naruto. She didn't stop giving him adoring gazes and have tried to flirt more than a dozen times, batting eyelashes at him or rubbing her body to the bewildered blond.
And with this Ino never ceased laughing every time Kiba tried (but failed) to divert Eris's attention on him. Once Kiba sees us, I'm sure if red faces can explode; there'd be a big bloody mess in this whole place.
I saw his fury heightened (which is the only thing he does currently)the moment that the minx has found the chance and never ending persuasive spirit to spoon feed her seat mate. Naruto looked at her wearily and it's clear that he's deciding how to turn her down the most inoffensive way possible. I can't help but smile as he stared at Sakura helplessly now and then.
"I'm sure he can eat with his own spoon Eris, he's not five," Kiba helpfully supplied, his eyes flashing and nostrils flaring when Naruto beamed at him in gratefulness. Naruto, looking for a way out, nodded enthusiastically in agreement when she glanced at them questioningly. "Y-yes, Eris-chan!" he encouraged cheerfully pushing the spoon away from his face, "I can eat by my own, go on just stuff yourself too!"
I think Eris have perfected the flirting game because instead of blatantly showing her disappointment… She pouted. Supposedly, uh the… cute type of pout girls does when they want to achieve something. Hers looked a bit disturbing though. And she proceeded to drop the spoonful of soup back on her plate. "Fine," she retorted sounding somewhat childishly and I saw Sakura roll her eyes. Thankfully though, they finally continued to eat in silence this time and only when the desserts were served that Eris once again revived her never-ending quest for Naruto's attention. Here we go, Flirting tactic no 102. Urk!
"Uh, I heard about the latest treaty you did with the Mizukage, Naruto" Kiba commented albeit a little forced.
"It helped that Sakura-chan was there Kiba," Naruto replied sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.
"Ooh, that nasty woman? I soo hated her Naruto-kun! I mean who does she thinks she is? I am sooo glad of what you did, Naruto-kun! I mean… I mean it was like so, so honorable!!" Eris shrieked clutching Naruto's arm a bit too tightly.
She smiled sultrily when Naruto looked on distracted. Her eyes half-lidded, she angled her body closer than physically possible. Not that she's not, to the blond.
I saw Sakura looking at the girl with disgust, visibly scowling. Her hand that was holding the spoonful of ice-cream has frozen mid-air as the white-haired continued her ministrations.
"I'm really proud of you!" Eris screeched after a pause directly into Naruto's ear 'Ouch that one hurts!': "I mean oh my god! You really really really as cool and as handsome and as totally amazing as what they say!" Woah, that's a lot of 'reallys' and 'as'!Happy much, Eris-san?
And naturally with that kind of sound passing through your eardrums, Naruto flinched. He cradled his ears with one hand and I saw him trying to move far far far away from the banshee.
Pity though since it seemed that Eris didn't notice because she continued to stare at him entranced sighing whimsically… then giddily shrilled "I like you!!! So much!!"
Kiba suddenly coughed out loud and started pounding his chest desperately.
Kiba's sounds of frustration were muffled by her next statements, which was a feat considering how loud he is, "Please go out into another date with me?"
And this time using flirting technique no. 103 she did the puppy eyed trick, pouting and inching her face closer which was impossible since Naruto kept on dodging her advances. Kiba looked on in great disbelief, finally dislodging whatever stuck in his throat.
The noise of the spoon clanging down on the table caused all of us to turn at Sakura in surprise. Looking at the temptress (as what my seatmate commented in passing beforehand), Sakura appeared every inch of someone who lost their appetite.
"Ooh, a reaction!" I am not surprise to hear Ino make a sound beside me.
But the girl, whom I still regrettably admired beforehand, did not stop. "And you know… I'm so thankful that I'm here with you…" Eris trailed off, either not hearing her or not paying attention she held Naruto's tie (restaurant policy) in her left hand, twisting it slowly and tried to bring him closer again. She inched when Naruto did not budge.
And then, apparently screwing all rules of personal space; she crossed over the distance between them that Naruto let out a strangled sound in the back of his throat.
"Eris-chan?" he meekly ground out and I see him trying to maneuver himself out of her clutches. Sakura scoffed when he looked at her pleadingly. She murmured something inaudible but did nothing else to help him. All the while, Kiba, who looked ready to bang his head on the table forcefully, gripped the corner furiously.
"I think you need to give the man some breathing space, 'Ris!". Kiba grunted out angrily. The glare he sent to Naruto's direction was so intense that the oblivious can only gape at him greatly confused.
Ino snorted un-ladylike in her seat as Hinata slightly shook her head, probably uncomfortable since her cheeks were tinted red. Shikamaru meanwhile quietly muttered, "Troublesome" and proceeded to tune out the drama playing on the screen.
Naruto opened his mouth to ask the problem but Sakura beat him to it, in tone cold and detached she turned to him the very first time since they came, "and please Naruto don't show us you enjoy it too much, we don't need the mental images. Try to keep it in private." Naruto blushed but he also looked shocked and appalled.
"Wha---!" he replied defensively showing irritation with Kiba's piercing gazes, "it's not like that Sakura-chan!"
She did nothing but wave his defense nonchalantly continuing to eat in peace. Though, clearly Eris has some other kinda well-cooked plans in mind: "Why? What's the problem with it?" her falsetto voice raised a notch higher and I found myself wincing. What the hell is that?
My seatmate smirked this time and she challengingly arched an eyebrow to Kiba's image on the video who sat stiffly in his seat.
"Are you jealous?"
That certainly made us astonished and we all looked at Sakura (who was stunned to stillness) in great interest. And even in his pissed off state Kiba's shoulder had visibly relaxed; he leaned and studied the pink-haired, curiosity gleaming in his eyes.
This is it! I admit I'm very curious too. After all we are doing everything for this moment. If Sakura did tell and confessed then it will be the end; we will achieve our goal. This is what I have been patiently waiting, hoping and wishing for… all that I wanted to happen ever since that stupid night. Go on, Sakura-san!
She opened her mouth to reply but then briefly closed it, seeming to carefully weigh down how to answer. Eris raised her eyebrow the very same way Ino did before but her mouth was set in a feral grin that made her look so much every inch a smug conniving witch that she is.
While Naruto sat in his seat unmoving, I can sense his trepidation with the way Sakura prolonged her reply. His eyes was hopeful but the rest of his face gave nothing away of what he felt and only the way his hand shook when he took the spoon proved me his apprehension.
Minutes passed and none of us was deterred, all of us really, though I'm sure Sakura isn't aware that there are eleven pairs of eyes staring at her inquiringly right now. What would happen if she knew? Lol that would… resemble uh, apocalypse? I tried to prevent myself from shuddering. Evidently Sakura's torture was effective enough for me and I don't want to have repeat of that scenario.
She fidgeted, gulped and reached for the wine glass, taking a hasty mouthful of the red substance almost choking by doing so.
"I- I-"she began, stuttering.
"Uh…" Silence enveloped them.
Nothing but staring at one another happened and would have continued to do so, but the restaurant door opened with a very resounding bang.
"Sakura!"
Shizune-san's sharp gasp broke us out of our concentration and the medic had noticeably settled down in her seat, relieved. Kiba slumped and showed his full annoyance with the interruption but he did not say anything else. Naruto and Eris mutedly watched the newcomer, the former taking necessary precautions to not meet the eyes of the latter,
"I need you at the hospital right now!"
Sakura wasted no moment and in a heartbeat stood up so quickly that her chair almost toppled off.
"Sorry, Kiba, Naruto… I got to go!" She hastily took her wallet in one hand before glancing apologetically at them (specifically at Kiba and Naruto).
"Eris-san, it was a pleasure meeting you," she addressed in a sickeningly sweet tone to the woman who still has her eyes fixed at her intently.
"I'm sure", Eris drawled scathingly in reply, flicking her hair in indifference. We held our breath for the war to transpire but Sakura only primly smiled and turned to Naruto again.
"I'll see you tomorrow."
With Naruto's nod, she left quickly following her master's assistant out.
Then Ino did the unexpected, she stood up. And breaking off her disguise she pompously declared, "Wow that ends rather productively."
-----x3
Sai's plan was executed next and though we have faced failure at our second try… the ideas never seem stop flowing in. Add up their resolute enthusiasm to set them together; this had left me with no way out.
Ah, jolly! …not! I don't know why but it looked like people really do not learn from their past mistakes as much as I would have wanted. (As they say once is enough, two is too much and three is poison enough to- but oh well)
Because the plan was a date again, a blind date to be exact. Amazingly, Sakura and Naruto had agreed yet again. Maybe it's that they were really bored or Sai had the same persuasive skills that Ino possesses; but they took up the idea rather nicely (though they didn't know it would be both of them).
Thus we were once again complete; namely Sai, Ino, Temari, Kiba, Shikamaru, Lee, Chouji, Shino, Hinata, Sasuke, Neji and I, (Kakashi-san and the other older jounins just asked us to inform them of the progress). By this time, I tried to wait good-naturedly on how things will play out.
I don't why I'm so fired up to do this event; probably it was due to the constant exposure to various matchmaking schemes that I'm beginning to hope for their success. Maybe, maybe because I am tired of thinking negatively about the plans… I mean perhaps, this blind date will do wonders for the pair.
Probably, things will turn out okay in the end. That's what usually happens after all…
Probably.
So—we stayed in the establishment (another extravagant restaurant, but this time more exclusive, just imagine! all the hardships only to get a reservation for two… what more with the rest of us? It was so tiring!) We are slightly conspicuous than before not that far from their line of sight. But still cautiously considerably a distance far away from their seats…
We didn't bother to put on disguises and had instead preferred to share a table, waiting for any sign of the two. Sai ensured that we get to listen to their conversations though; he himself had planted some listening devices under the pair's designated table.
Sakura was the first one to arrive and while she observed the surroundings quite skeptically almost distractedly I still saw glimmers of curiosity in her eyes as she peered around.
She wore a knee-length simple dress that accentuated her eyes well. Her hair was held together with a somewhat familiar clip.
When she was ushered inside by the waiter she sat down, ordered a cup of coffee and busied herself with some medical charts all in one go. I raised my eyebrows; she doesn't look like someone who is going on a blind date. Sakura presented the impression of her being in professional mode.
"N-naruto-kun's here," I turned to the door at the sound of Hinata's soft voice.
And there he stood at the entrance casting his eyes over the whole restaurant, searching for the description of the dress Sai told him the person he's meeting with was supposed to wear.
I smiled briefly at Hinata who was clutching her handkerchief nervously, (poor girl, she still gets nervous when he's in the proximity even though she had already confessed… and well, you know the rest) before my concentration darted back and forth to the 'unsuspecting' two.
I contemplated on how many minutes it would take for them to learn about the scheme.
Barely a minute later he found her and composed himself with a long sigh then moved over to approach Sakura though he doesn't know that yet, obviously.
"H-hey!" Eh… he stuttered?
"Nice to meet you, I'm—"
Naruto's words died in his throat, he gaped at his teammate who was leisurely sipping her black coffee. His eyes widening, he squeaked: "Sakura-chan?"
Sakura looked up from the paper and turned at him puzzled, "Naruto? What are you doing here?" I saw her examining him, mirroring his confusion for a while before her eyes widened in realization when she had distinguished his attire.
"You're the sick nearly dying man?" came out her indignant question.
Naruto scratched his neck and nodded, "yeah I guess that'll be me…" he trailed off and looked at his team mate unsurely. I think he was so nervous that he didn't paid attention to what Sakura exclaimed. I mean, I was mildly surprised when I heard Sakura say something about a sick man and dying, who?
"But…! That Sai!" Sakura yelled she looked fairly irritated, her eyes blazed in rage. Her entire body shook and Naruto had the sense to back away. Then moments after she stilled, she straightened displaying determination and something else her mouth curving into a nasty smirk.
Which undoubtedly made me deduce she's planning ways to torture Sai… believe me it's a thing I don't want to be reminded off again.
Ever. It never failed to bring me shivers and goosebumps time and time again.
"Um… Sakura-chan?"
We all looked taken aback at the way Naruto asked uncertainly instead of his normally loud voice. This time he sounded so much like Hinata that I thought I'm seeing her double.
"Well, since were here we might as well take advantage of his 'kindness' don't you think?" Sakura stated factually her ire temporarily vanished and gestured to the seat in front of her since he had made no motions of sitting down.
"Okay!" he chirped. He appeared quite delighted with the suggestion of eating for free and at the same time causing a large dent in his other team mate's wallet. He took up the said space without further ado.
I studied Sai and tried to see if he was bothered with their ploys but he only had that unreadable smile of his like he constantly did.
Kiba whistled and elbowed him when Naruto and Sakura's orders arrived later on while Chouji's mouth watered with the large selection of foods served by the waiter. He was tightly clenching the menu in his hands, eyes intent on their table. "Chouji", Shikamaru warned which was effective enough to snap him out of his daze. "Fine," he grumbled, "after this okay?."
Ino rolled her eyes at her team mate. "Duh! Surely, can't you try missing one lunch?"
"Ino-san!" Lee remarked, aghast, "You need food to live, Ino-san! To have your passion-full youth burning strong, you must eat! If not your youthful energy will surely diminish and you would be left with slow responses!" The other men laughed out loud, while Ino flinched.
The jab was there and knowing Lee for years, I'm sure that it was an accident and innocent observation on his part.
But I don't know about Ino, though. She's not the one who had to put up with a taijutsu expert's weird antics after all.
"What. Do. You. Mean?" She had risen from her seat abruptly. She walked dangerously slow towards my bushy eye-browed teammate with her eyes screaming murder. "You seriously…"
Lee looked helplessly befuddled with her actions, turning left and right as if searching for explanation. And try as I might to pacify her, (the other customers has peeped on nosily) I know I won't do any help so I was left with no choice but watch them.
She stretched out an arm automatically ready to grab his shirt and punch him silly, up to the deepest pits of hell I presume when out of the blue Shikamaru had intercepted it. It startled her for some time and he used this to tactfully send the angry blond back to her seat.
"Ino, we've got enough attention as it is." He jerked his head to the onlookers (wow, what do you know? They increased in numbers, it's a good thing the two aren't looking too) before sitting down unceremoniously.
"So I guess you slow down with the dramatics," Kiba retorted sarcastic.
Sasuke snorted while Neji crossed his arms, staring at her expectantly. "Oh", she blushed embarrassed before waving a hand away, "Fine! It's nothing I tell you!" She had addressed the civilians rather conceitedly,
"Mind your own business you guys!"
And immediately afterwards… all the inquiring gazes left us. Most of us let out a sigh of relief.
----x3
"Urgh! Can't that Sai notice once and for all I'm quite busy? I wasted time, effort and sleep for this!" Sakura grounded out angrily; the sound of fork clinking over the plate was heard through the listening device.
"How dare he trick me?!"
"Mayb-"
"He told me that there's someone who is in dire need of my services! Now where is he? The bastard!"
Silence.
"Uh, services… Sakura-chan?" I can clearly picture out Naruto's teasing perverted grin showing even over the radio.
Then the unmistakable sound of a smack followed through. "Not that you idiot! Haven't I told you that I'm looking for the sick almost dying patient?" She gritted out, mortified.
"Ah."
By this time, I think Naruto has widely decided to drop the topic. He really knew well from past experiences to never rile up an a. angered, b. embarrassed, and c. stressed Sakura. Since all of these seem to do one thing: beat him senseless until oblivion.
"Your turn to explain. Why are you here, anyway?"
I raised my head and turned to my companions to ask what the garbled sounds I heard next. "Look," Shino, who was beside Hinata, instructed and I found myself staring at Naruto and Sakura. The former was evidently gulping nervously and fidgeting restlessly in his seat drops of sweat forming in his forehead. "N-nothing Sakura-chan. Sai just asked me to come…." His uncharacteristically shaky stuttering voice went on the device.
"Hmm?" I saw Sakura arching an eyebrow questioningly, her patience seemingly waning.
"Y-yes!"
"Why is the idiot lying?" I glanced at Sasuke who was observing the scene before him distastefully.
"Naruto broke one of Sakura's favorite vases. Sai saw it and is helping him keep it a secret from her," Shino simply stated explaining Naruto's unusual antics. Chouji, Kiba and I nodded agreeably, it does seem like it's the most logical thing to do. Sakura had these weird vases in her home, a collection actually and she's very protective of the ceramics. Touch those and you die. "Where did that drawing-freak went?" The Uchiha added when Shino didn't elaborate furthermore.
Sai?
I didn't notice that Sai had disappeared but I paid no attention and just continued to listen intently.
"And?"
"And you know well, Sai—"
".TO?"
I can just imagine how Sakura looked intimidating at this moment stressing Naruto's name terrifyingly.
"Uh…"
Then on came a high-pitched squeal so loud that it enveloped the whole place, I jumped in reflex and looked all around for a shadow of the white-haired minx in the restaurant. My ears have become attuned with her voice that even the softest signs of Eris's falsetto can give me various reactions. Namely: cringing, wincing, flinching, and jumping. I sharply called Kiba,
"Why did you have to bring your girlfriend?"
"What?"
He asked dubiously. The ear-damaging screeching continued and when I didn't see any sign of Eris… I relaxed and looked back to observe the two (convinced that she is nowhere near the vicinity).
And there behind them was a preposterously dressed fat woman (complete with the musical accompaniment), her eyes closed she sang an elegy with so much emotion and passion and intensity that it almost shook the entire restaurant to shambles.
I groaned out loud, the same time as most of the boys tried to control their amusement; they watched the silent blond carefully gauging her reaction. We all anticipated what would happen next, after all. "Who helped Sai prepare this blind date?" She demanded pointedly, placing her arms on her waist and looked at us dangerously.
We exchanged bewildered dubious looks when all of a sudden the object of our topic came in, smiling as always.
"How was it?" He innocently asked, gesturing to the flabbergasted couple.
"The book says that in a blind date the music is a necessity… it should be used to ignite passion for the date. And it must take their--"
My jaw dropped at him, this is all because of a stupid book? I stared at Sai wonderingly; does he have a death wish or something? I mean… I mean…
And not a moment later I felt the hairs on my back prickled, I turned around and was horrified to see Sakura glaring at Sai's back. If glares could put one in flame, Sai would no doubt be burned to ashes.
We wisely hid ourselves taking the chance the moment that Naruto asked Sakura something (probably to where she's looking), abandoning Sai, who was reading his notebook (where all of his plans must have been listed), all alone when Sakura had risen up abruptly. She had her fist clenched on her sides and glowered at her teammate furiously.
Sai on the other hand…
Kami bless him, he just continued explaining, counting and elaborating off the different reasons about his plans. He never noticed the approaching pink-haired, never knowing his impending doom. Poor Sai.
"And then?" she finally spoke stopping directly in front of him, when Sai took a pause.
I heard Ino suck her breath uneasily while we waited for his reply. "And then they can finally confess," Sai eventually lifted his face off his notebook. And when he discovered Sakura right before him, his eyes widened for a minute before he smiled, totally calm.
"Pleasure seeing you here Sakura-san!"
"You idiot!"
Smack!
t.b.c.