Eyes flittered open; Light was pouring into Clary's bedroom. Three figures were around her. The door laid off its hinges. Her mother and Luke looked down, their faces

pale, lined with worry. Then there was Jace, his arms on hers holding her down. She founght to avoid eye contact. Why wouldn't he leave her to die. She had hurt him.

Almost lead him and his family to death, or a fate much worse as he had reminded her in their last exchange of words. In a fit of rage he had said he never wanted to

see her again. To obey his wish, even if she deep down knew it was nothing but words ment to hurt her as she was hurting him, she had been lost. She had hid. Now the

three people she didnt want to see they were here, worried.

"Just go away" she screams at all three struggling against Jace's hold. She broke her right hand free and punched out. Luke restrained her. Why was she doing this? She

just let herself fall limp and sobbed. Jocelyn stroked her head, her mother's hair was grayer than it had been the last time she saw her. She didn't seem upset, just

sad.

She had been spending her nights at the locked door, listening to her daughters sobs, her screams. She hadn't seen her in two months, Clary had been so close to her,

but so far away, it was almost like she had lost her son, then her daughter slowly started to slip... there had been three months of tense, a month of Clary loosing

touch with reality, then her sweet daughter had locked and runed herself in her bedroom. Sure she caught her grabbing the food Luke placed at the door, but always at a

distance. Atleast it showed her twice a day that her daughter was alive.

It had worn on Luke too. Many times he'd hold his new wife as she cried. Sometimes over the Johnathan that could have been, but mostly for Clary, who at such a young

age had fought two wars in a world she had fought to shelter her from. She cried for the daughter who was so brave, only to crack. Everything had come down on their

family so hard.

Everything seemed fine at the wedding. The kids, well, she used that term loosly Magnus was far from a kid, all together at the lake. Split off in Couples, the future

of the shadow hunters. She hadn't cared for Jace at first, but he grew on her, and it came to a point she was happy he was with her daughter. Now she just didnt know

what was going on.

Clary was still her expression blank as she avoided looking at any of them. She seemed weak, defeated. Silence had swallowed the room since she had screamed at them

all to go away. Finally Jace spoke, his voice calm, worried, and even broken. "Clary, if this is about what I said at the insta-" Clary cut him off... "Its not."

Jace searched her face. Her could normally read her... but what else had happened... it was as if they were the only ones there... no one mattered but Clary. The girl

who grounded him... kept him together, now it was his turn. This was so like something he would do, yet it was the only woman he loved, who was doing to because of

him... He wasn't going to stop pressing... she hadn't spoke to him in two months. "Is this about the lake in..." Clary glared so hard at him it almost burned. "NO" She

just about screamed as her face turned a bright red.

Jace recoiled, Jocelyn and Lukes faces dropped even more, and Luke raised an eyebrow. He looked at Clary and at Jace with his sternest look. "What did happen at the

lake" Clary recoiled silently. Jace looked at Luke and was silent... Clary spoke, "It was a mistake, we thought we were going to die..." Her voice sounded exausted,

tired. Interaction was tiring after being quiet for so long. "I wish I would have."

It took everything in Jace's power to not slap her. "A MISTAKE? You call that a MISTAKE?! NO that wasn't a mistake. That was not a we're going to die... that was LOVE,

something you have forgoten, you ungrateful TWIT." Jace was up, at the door. "I came to apoligize for what I said, for hurting you... I came to fix us... but from what

your saying, there was never an US to begin with. I love you. You are my soul. You wish you had died? Well congrats, you just KILLED me." Jace stormed off. Clary

cried. Jocelyn hurried over and held her little girl. Luke went after Jace.

.:..:.

Clary had almost forgotten what is felt like to be held by her mother. All the dispair, the anger, the hate of her life. Her mother was a Shadow Hunter. She was a

Shadow Hunter. She should be stronger. She shouldn't need to be held by her mother like she was a child, she fought two of the strongest forces in their world, she was

strong, but she was broken. "Mom, I need Magnus."

.:..:.

Luke easily caught up with Jace. He put his hand on the boy's shoulder "Jace, I need the truth. Something is eating her up. I wasn't there, you have never left her

side. I need to know what happened, so that I can help HER. I need the truth." Jace looked at him, hurt and rebellion shining in his eyes. He was silent as he listened

to the hustle of New York..

"What happened... Clary killed her brother and lost her best friend all in one fucking night. She didn't Ajust. She went through the motions until she just quit. She

pushed me away, blamed me for not carring that Simon didnt remember her and then you know the fucking rest. And the lake... Oh I will allways remember it as the best

night of my life, but other than that, its NONE of your buisness." Luke looked at him. One of Jace's outbursts. Typical. When he and Clary had been together this

hadn't happened. Not often. They complimented each other, brought Cocky Jace down to the ground and quiet little Clary out of her shell. Hell had changed them... but

they were still them.

"Come back to the house. Spend the night on the sofa. Whatever is hurting her, I know you can heal her, everything she has ever done since meeting you has been for

you." Luke said, more like a father than a friend.

"She hates me." Words and actions didn't line up as they walked quietly back to the house, only to see Alec waiting outside talking to Jocelyn.