A/N: Okay I just wanted to mention that anyone that reads the other two stories I write, The Best Is Yet To Come and The Dance, they are in temporary hiatus. I have writers block and bad!! I still don't own anything, not the music, the characters. The only thing I have is the plot to this story, so don't take it. Enjoy!
Chapter 2- If your gone
Bella POV
"Do you know how beautiful your eyes are?" I gave him the death stare and shook my head.
"Can you please stop?" I pleaded with him for the 100th time. It was Friday afternoon, I was stuck helping Edward with Spanish, since he's 'failing'. "We need to translate all this from Spanish to English, so let's get going." I rolled my eyes and huffed loudly so he would hopefully get the point. I helped him with school work, but I truly hated him with everything I had. He was the reason Paul left me, walked out of my life. He made Paul believe I was not meant for him. My heart ached for him, every time I thought about him. I missed him so much. Jasper was home from college for a few days and was due back from the store any minute now. He didn't like Paul and me dating, but he loved that I was hanging out with Edward. I could feel the tears threatening to escape as I thought about the night Paul left me.
Flashback Begins
I was inside with Edward helping with a science test we had the next day. It was September and we had a review test, to see what we remember from last year. I heard a car pulling up, Paul was here, I automatically became happy; he was my everything, I loved him so much. The one thing I knew he was going to be pissed about was Edward being here. Shit, I didn't even think about that. He walked through the door wearing a pair of cut off shorts, a white t-shirt, and a pair of white shoes. He glanced between Edward and me. I could see the anger boiling in his eyes. "Paul, you're here." I stood up and ran over to him, expecting a hug. Instead he looked at me and shook his head. He was getting truly upset over this. He put his hand up to stop me, I wanted to cry right there, what happen next crushed me.
"What the fuck Bella!" I looked at him, confusion must have been evident in my face, so he continued, tears were at the brink of escaping. "GOD BELLA, I TOLD YOU, I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO HANG AROUND HIM!!" He shook with anger, I wanted so badly to go up and touch his arm, knowing my touch had always calmed him. But right now my sadness was mixed with anger, if he could yell I would yell right back.
"PAUL ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH, I WAS STUDYING FOR THAT PHYSICS TEST!!" I started to cry. I turned my back to him, not wanting him to see the tears that were now coming at their own accord. "Paul," I took a deep breath I had to explain, "I don't love him, I love you, but if you can't handle that I study for tests, with my lab partner, then maybe you're just a jealous freak. I'm done arguing with you about this; it's for school, nothing more." As soon as the words left my lips, about him being jealous, I was hoping he would just drop it and come over here and hug me.
"Well maybe I am a jealous freak! But I care, and he's no good Bella." he continued the argument.
"His sister is my best friend, how can I not trust him, he's okay Paul. I only have eyes for you, I love you, and you know that." I cried a little harder and the tears flowed freely down my cheeks. I shook my head. I turned back to face Paul, I walked over and touched his shoulder, my attempt to calm him.
"No! No Bella! You can't trust him! So basically if you trust him, I can't trust you. I'm done with this shit! We are obviously not meant to be; maybe I wasted my time with you!" He turned, making my hand drop from his shoulder. He was heading towards the door, I whimpered as realization hit me. How could he treat me like this? I fell to the ground as the door opened; I sobbed hard knowing he wasn't coming back.
"P-p-p-Paul, p-p-please, you can't leave. Please, Paul, I love-ed you." I sobbed, trying to reason with him, but I used past tense, I knew he wasn't coming back. I felt someone beside me, Edward, I forgot he was here. "P-p-please just leave." He looked down at me and took me in his arms. I sobbed even harder. He just left me. I leaned into Edwards shoulder, I knew deep down I needed to be mad at Edward; he talked me into letting me come over. He pulled me onto his lap as he leaned against my counter.
He smoothed my hair back away from my tear filled, sweaty face. "It's going to be okay Bella, shh, it's okay." He said soothing words over and over again. Paul left me, why? I kept asking myself as Edward rocked me gently, trying his hardest to comfort me.
Flashback Ends
I was snapped back to reality when Jasper walked in. "I figured I would grab a pizza, I didn't want to come home and cook and I knew Bella wouldn't want to either." I looked up at Jasper, I knew I had tears in my eyes, I could feel them on my hot cheeks. I sniffled, his brows furrowed in confusion, eyes narrowing at me. "Are you crying over him again?" Right there I wanted to jump up, get in his face and yell at him on how much I loved and cared for him. How much I still love and care for him, how much I miss him. I bit my tongue though and just gave a curt nod and sniffled again. "Really Bella?! Get over him, he's no good for you! I've told you that." I looked at him and shook my head. I turned my direction back at the Spanish homework.
"I'm going out tonight, remember? With Rosalie, Alice and Leah." I wiped the remaining tears from my eyes; I could feel Edward watching me. I looked up and met his gaze.
"Yeah, I remember, so then it's just me and you Edward. Hey the Columbia game is on ESPN tonight, Emmett's playing, and that's what we can watch while Bella's out. We have the big screen all to ourselves." He chuckled, because it's usually me, asking to watch a movie on the big screen, not some lousy football game. Although I would watch Emmett play. At the end of the football season last year, a scout from Columbia asked him if he was interested in a full ride. He of course said yes. So now we sit down and watch the game when he plays. Obviously tonight he was.
"Wait, where's dad tonight? I know mom was staying late." Mom lately always worked late, she was Esme Cullen, CEO for the biggest interior design company. But dad tried not to work too late unless it was an emergency.
"There was an accident on the highway a little while ago, 11 people were involved, and they shipped everyone to that hospital. So he'll be there pretty late." I nodded my head, I understood. Edward glanced at Jasper.
"He won't mind if I stay here?"
"Naw, it's Friday night, there's no school tomorrow." Jasper took a huge bite of pizza, they started to talk about Columbia's record so far. I stopped listening, I love Emmett to death, he was like another big brother to me but I really couldn't stand football. I figured now would be a great time to slip out and go freshen up, we were going to see a movie then dinner, but Alice insisted dinner first. She just might get her way, she always does.
"Wait Bella, one more question. What does me gusta todo de ti. Tu cabello, tus ojos, tu sonrisa. Gracias por su ayuda." I blush quickly rose to my cheeks. I suspected he liked me, but this was too much for right now.
"You know what it means. La bienvenida, pero no me gusta que te gusta eso." It felt nice to turn down a guy in Spanish! Ha! I finished walking upstairs to re-do my hair and freshen up the make-up. The door bell rang; I rushed down to answer it. I opened the door; Alice was standing there bouncing up and down like a child.
"Bella, are you ready? Is Jasper home?" Her eyes twinkled at the sound of his name, she really liked him. She stood on her tip toes and tried to peer around me.
"Come on Alice, the other girls are waiting." I pushed on her shoulders, so that I could close the door and break her gaze. I stepped around her and went to the waiting car where Leah and Rosalie where waiting. I hopped in the back seat of my cousin Rosalie's Lexus. "Hey Rose, is Uncle James having to working late too?" I knew he probably would. James was Rosalie's dad; her mom was Victoria and is my mom, Esme's sister. Rose and I were close for cousins.
"Yeah, I heard they were really hectic at the hospital. Uncle Carlisle called me to tell me my dad was working over, but whatever. Leah was just saying how your mom is caught up in a house in Cali, what's up with that?" I knew exactly what she was talking about. Leah's mom Sue, worked for mine in the interior designing.
"Oh well, half way through, the owners changed their mind, and still want it done for next week. So she's working around the clock." I shook my head; mom always worked around the clock, the only time she stayed home was to take care of me or Jasper if we were sick. Alice finally got in the care and huffed. "What's the matter Alice?"
"Nothing, nothing. Let's head to the restaurant, please. I'm starved." Rosalie pulled out of the driveway and out on the main road; we sang along to a couple of songs, until If Your Gone by Matchbox 20 came on. They started to sing, but it reminded me of nothing but Paul, I could feel the tears welling in my eyes, and the lump that formed in my throat. Rosalie looked at me through the review mirror; she cleared her throat, reached over and turned off the radio. Alice looked at her and nodded her. She then dug through her purse till she pulled out a hand full of tissues. She reached back, "Here Bella," She handed them to me. I couldn't get my mind off that song and how it was how much it explained Paul and me right now. Rosalie pulled into the restaurant parking lot. "Come on its time to cheer Bella up." Rosalie parked the car; we all stepped out of the car and headed into The Olive Garden. We were given a both seat. We ordered our drinks, Alice spoke up. "Okay, so do you all remember when Rose here and Emmett were found in the pool skinny dipping at four a.m.? Ha! Well I took pictures, and I found them!" We all looked at her like she had six heads. But eventually we laughed.
"If you think that's funny, I have a video of Sam singing into a hairbrush right after he got out of the shower, to Britney Spears!!!" Leah was cracking up, her boyfriend was Sam Uley, he graduated from the La Push High school two years ago, where she was now a senior.
"How are you and Sam doing?" I haven't spoke to Sam since Paul and I broke up. Her smile widened. She held up her left hand to show off a ring. It was beautiful; it had a nice diamond in the middle with littler ones surrounding it. It was a white gold band. It sparkled in the light as she twisted her hand left and right.
"He asked me to marry me!!" She started to giggle.
"That's amazing, congratulations Leah!" Rosalie exclaimed
"OH, look at it, it's gorgeous! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you two!" Alice was practically jumping!
"I'm so happy for you Leah! Congratulations, can you pass that on for Sam, for me." I smiled, and she nodded. They all quieted down, and looked to the right. I glanced over to the right, my breath caught in my throat. Paul was standing there, staring at me. I saw three things flash across his eyes, pain, sadness, and love. Does he still love me? Is he just as sad as I am? Does he regret breaking up with me? Does he want me back as much as I want him back? I could feel the tears on the brink of spilling for the third time tonight. I shot up and ran for the exit; the tears were rolling down my face. I got to the car, and waited. I would hope they follow me out, I can't be here anymore, I need to get home. Rosalie came running out.
"Bella," She took me into her arms to hug me. "Shh, it's okay Bella." She smoothed my hair.
"I need to get out of here Rose, please." I pleaded with her. I felt her nod her head. She escorted me to the back seat. She got out in the driver's seat; Alice was already seated in the passenger seat.
"Here Bella, you need these sweetheart." She handed me more tissues. I wiped the tears away from my eyes. Leah got on and took me into her arms.
"I just want to go home." I said in a very shaky voice.
"You got it Bella." Rose said as she pulled out of the parking lot. Time flew and before I knew I was home. I hugged Rose good bye, and told her to give my love to Victoria and James. She nodded and escorted me to the door. "I'm here Bella, call me and I can be here in 5 minutes." I nodded.
"Thanks Rose." She hugged me once more. I walked through the front door and headed right to the stairs. I could hear Edward and Jasper asking me what was wrong but I just ignored them. I got to the second floor, found my room. I walked in, shut and locked the door. I flipped on my light; I walked into my bathroom to take my shower. I turned the water as hot as I could take it. I washed my hair and body and got out. The only thing I wanted to do was curl up and cry myself to sleep. Like I do every night. I checked my phone before plugging it into the charger. One missed call: from Paul. I erased the voicemail, knowing it said the same as all of them did, without listening to it. But tonight after I saw him, I felt the need to at least text him, so that's what I did. I kept it simple.
I miss you…I wanna talk, I just don't know when yet, I'm not ready… you really broke my heart…
~Bells
I didn't think he would text me back, but it was almost responded to instantly.
I miss you too; I'm ready to talk when you are. I'm sorry for all the pain and suffering I caused you, can we please start over?
BaddassPaul
Was he fucking crazy! Hell no we can't start over. He obviously has problems and so do I that we need to work out. He can't just get back with me like that!
No, we can't just start over. We need to talk through our problems.
~Bells
I put that a little nicer in the text than I actually felt. He texted me back, and my jaw dropped, I knew it. Maybe it would be possible to love him again, wait I already do love him.
Okay, I understand. I still love you Bells…
BaddassPaul
I had a smile plastered on my face. I started to think back to the very first night I met Paul.
Flashback begins
"Bells, really?! What would you seriously do right now if I were to throw you in the water?" I put my hands on my hip, I was in nothing but a pair of light blue jeans and my favorite neon pink shirt. It was quite chilly out but I didn't mind it. I gave Jake my best glare.
"I would drag you down with me!" He laughed and before I knew it, he picked me up. Before I could have time to wrap my arms around his neck, he threw me into a shallow part of the sea. I gasped as the cool water hit my skin. He started laughing.
"What are you doing?" Someone else was here? When did they show up? It was around noon, and thought people were at work and stuff.
"Hey Paul, oh um Paul this is Bella Cullen, Bella this is Paul Johnson. Bella lives in Forks, but we're pretty close. Huh Bella?" I was at a loss for words, he was so beautiful. He had dark russet colored skin, dark black hair that fell to his ears. It was shined in the sun and looked like it would feel like silk under my touch. He was wearing a pair of blue Levi jeans, a plain white polo, and had on a pair of basketball sneakers, black Nikes; on top he had on a simple black leather jacket. His eyes were a deep green, almost black. I couldn't stop staring.
"Nice to meet you Paul." I shot my hand, he grasped mine and his touch was like velvet, it had its soft side and a rough side. Let's just say I didn't want to let go! I gave a small smile when he continues to hold my hand. I could feel the blush creeping up on my cheeks. "Earth to Paul, Paul you okay?"I asked and wondered at the same time why he had a goofy grin on his face.
"Oh, I'm sorry; it's so nice to meet you Bella." Another blush made it to my cheeks. "Has anyone told you how beautiful you are?" He smiled at me, almost like he was hitting on me. Was he hitting on me? I quickly looked down, why though? Those eyes were gorgeous.
"Wow, umm, no I don't think so." I can't believe he tells me I'm beautiful, and I can't even form a coherent sentence.
"Hmm, well, you're making a move on Bella. Really Paul?" Jacob practically shouted in my ear. Well shout I thought I was here with this hot guy buy myself.
"Jake, can you just shut it for five. I'm trying to get to know Miss. Cullen here."He smiled at me again. I'm on cloud nine! "Miss. Cullen could I take you out to dinner sometime, sometime very soon?"I could feel the blush creeping up on my face yet again. I mean I blush a lot but this is just ridiculous, I blush six times more than I normally do. I felt him lift my chin gently with two fingers, and made me look him in the eyes. His eyes had a dark twinkle to them as the sun reflected off them.
"Why Paul that would be wonderful!" I laughed, why? This guy makes me knees weak, my heart flutter, and my head spin. And I love it all! "But you should know, I just moved here, so my dad will want to meet you. You must know Dr. Cullen, right?" His face fell, I wonder if my dad would stop me from seeing Paul, I think I really I like him.
"Yeah, I knew that. How 'bout Saturday night, I'll pick you up at seven."A smile crept up on my lips, this could turn out to be something more than friends. "Okay, I'll pick you up. But I will be there at six thirty, to impress Dr. Cullen." I giggled, wow really Bella, way to play cool.
"Sounds perfect Paul."I laughed again. What was so funny? He hesitated a minute and then released my chin. He turned around and started to walk away, what? He couldn't leave, not now. I had to stop him, so I said the first thing that came to my mind, "Paul, Jake and I were just going back to his place, and I was going to make lunch. You want to join us?" He turned around, and glanced at Jake. Shrugging a shoulder, like agreeing to himself. Please say yes. Please, please, please say yes.
"Count me in, sounds like fun."I then realized that at this time I was still standing in the water. I came out of the cool water, dripping wet. I shivered involuntary, as the wind whipped a crossed my body, I also realized how could I truly was. He looked down at me and for the first time I saw love and caring in his eyes. He shrugged out of his black leather jacket, "Here, you look freezing." I did nothing but gawk up at him. I slowly reached for it. I smiled at him, well it was the least I could do.
"I am thank you." I put the jacket on. It was huge. The sleeves were like eight inches too big. It fell half way down my thigh. I took a deep breath in, the jacket smelt amazing. Kind of woodsy. I wonder if this is how he smelt. I snuggled into, relishing in the warmth of it. And as I did so, Paul walked up next to me and put his arms around my shoulders. At first I didn't know what to do, but then I just let him lead me to Jake's house. Leaning into his side, I was just kept thinking of how I really wanted to get to know him. And stay like this forever.
Flashback ends
It's been two months, I saw him for the first time, and I still really miss him though. I fell asleep thinking of what my life could be like with Paul. My one true love. I love Paul. Even with all his anger issues and what not. I love him; nobody can change my mind about it! I am truly, madly, deeply still in love with Paul Johnson…
A/N: Okay, another update out of the way! The Spanish you see, this is what it means. Edwards is: "I like everything about you. Your hair, your eyes, your smile. Thanks for your help." Bella's is: "Your welcome, but I don't like you like that." Tell me what ya think. Only one other person reads this before its posted, co-author of mine, we don't find all of the mistakes, so if you find one call me out on it! That being said, reviews are love and I love them too! So go ahead, push the review button!!