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Everything was getting more and more quiet. The sirens could barely be heard anymore and Chris could barely see anything. His eyes felt heavier than they ever had in his life, even heavier than the time he and Dov had bet each other they couldn't pull a double all nighter. Chris started to let his eyes close on him a little, but refused to do so all the way. The strain of keeping them open was painful, but he had been ordered to keep them open by Swarek. And, honestly, Chris was scared of what would happen if he did close his eyes. And he was sure that Swarek was too.
"There you go, Chris" Swarek's voice was quiet, almost like a far off echo. Chris couldn't concentrate on anything else. He wasn't really sure what he was saying. All he was doing was trying to keep his eyes open. And it was taking all of his energy just to do that. But Chris did not stop looking at Swarek.
"We're almost there!" Swarek said quickly. He was still holding onto Chris's stomach, and the paramedic was applying pressure as well with some gauze. There was an IV running into Chris's arm, and a tight piece of gauze was wrapped around his leg, but the paramedic seemed more concerned with his stomach wound, as did Sam. Sam refused to look at Chris's leg, although he wanted to. If Chris couldn't look away, then neither could he. But he continued to think about Chris's leg for a few more seconds, before focusing back on his stomach wound.
We're going to take you out now!" The paramedic said quickly as he threw the doors to the ambulance open. He jumped down, pulling the stretcher with him, and Sam helped. One hand on Chris's stomach, one hand on the stretcher, Sam started to help push Chris into the hospital. The other paramedic came from the driver's seat and grabbed the stretcher as well, applying pressure to Chris's stomach just like Sam did.
"Sir, you need to let go! We've got him. Let go!" The paramedic shouted. Sam looked at him quickly. He didn't want to let go. As long as he was touching him, helping him, he was at least in a little bit of control. He knew at least he was trying, and he was doing something to help. Once he let go, he wouldn't be able to do anything. He wouldn't be helping, and he didn't do good in those situations. He had to help Chris.
"Officer!" The paramedic shouted again. Swarek looked at Chris who was still looking back at him. His eyes were almost shut, but Swarek could still see he was trying to look at him, and he could tell that he was going to continue to try as long as he was there. He had to stay.
Swarek removed his hand from Chris's stomach quickly. He didn't want to be in the way of the professionals, they knew what they were doing, and they had to do it, he wasn't sure. But he didn't walk away. He grabbed Chris's hand. "Still looking at me? Still look at me!" Swarek turned to the paramedics. "I'm coming with you"
The three men helped push Chris into the hospital quickly, and Sam continued to look at Chris. It hurt him to look at him, but he refused to look away. He liked Chris, a lot. Maybe he even loved him, but he didn't know. Swarek wasn't good at stuff like that. But he did feel a certain tug in his heart, a certain pain that he knew was there for a reason.
"Twenty-four year old male, two gunshot wounds, one to the stomach, it's pretty bad, the other to the left leg. His name's Chris Diaz. He's a cop" The paramedics told the doctors as they came to meet them as they continued to jog down the hallway pushing the stretcher.
Sam looked at the doctors quickly and then back at Chris. He looked at his stomach wound, and then at his leg. I can't feel it Sam remembered Chris saying. Not that he had forgotten it. It had worried him then, almost made him sick. But he had to tell them.
"He told me he couldn't feel his leg" Sam said quickly. One of the doctors, who Sam assumed to be the lead, looked at him quickly before looking at Chris's stomach wound. The doctor appeared to have noticed the wound in the middle of his stomach. He nodded quickly.
"Is it a through and through?" The doctor asked Sam quickly. He didn't know. He hadn't seen his back. Was it because he didn't want to look? Or because he hadn't had the chance? He didn't want to be moving Chris around. But he also wasn't sure if he wanted to see Chris's back. It might confirm what he was afraid of. But he hoped that he wasn't too afraid, he hoped that wasn't the reason.
"I, I don't know. I don't know. Yea, I think so" Sam said quickly. The doctor nodded.
"It's alright we'll figure it out." They continued to jog pushing Chris down the hallway until they reached the emergency surgery room.
"You have to wait here. Officer, I'm sorry" The doctor said. Swarek shook his head. He gripped Chris's hand tighter and gave it a squeeze. Chris was still looking at him. It broke his heart, the kid hadn't let him down. Swarek gave him a smile, and with the hand he wasn't holding Chris's with, he rubbed his hand over Chris's forehead and through his hair quickly. "You did good, kid. Stay strong. Alright. You're strong. You can do this."
Chris continued to watch Swarek as they pushed him into the room. Sam pursed his lips together tightly and felt a hard lump in his throat. He gulped hard. "You're okay" Sam said and he could notice his voice wavering. He pursed his lips even tighter and swallowed hard again. "You're okay Chris!" Swarek shouted, and then the doctors had pushed Chris through the doors into the emergency surgery room, and Swarek couldn't see him anymore. But he continued to look. He couldn't look away. His rookie. His rookie had been shot.
It was a few minutes later when Sam felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around slowly and saw Oliver standing there. Sam turned to look at him and nodded. Oliver kept his hand on Sam's shoulder, and the two faced each other.
"Did they say anything?" Oliver asked quietly. Sam shook his head. He didn't say anything. He knew that if he tried to open his mouth he might start crying, the barrier he was trying to build up might break, and he didn't want that to happen.
"He'll be okay." Oliver said with a nod. "He'll be fine" Sam could hear the uncertainty in his voice but tried to ignore it. He looked at Oliver's hand on his shoulder and saw that it was covered in blood. He looked to Oliver's shirt and saw that that was covered in red smears too. And he looked to his face and noticed some smears that Oliver may have tried to wipe off. Then Sam realized that he probably had blood all over him too. He looked down at his hands quickly. Holding them palm up and then turning them over. They were covered in blood, and his arms were covered in blood as well up to his elbows, red smears on his upper arms. Sam looked at them for a while, and then looked down at his shirt. He held it out for him to see more and stared at it for a few seconds. It was covered in blood, more so than Oliver's. His once white t-shirt was now a dark red, The only traces of white were on his sleeves, but even those had red blood smears all over them too. Sam slowly looked back to Oliver. "He lost a lot of blood."
Oliver nodded sadly. "He'll be fine" Sam wondered if that was the only thing Oliver could say for fear of breaking into tears as well. The two looked at each other and shared a look, and they both understood. He had lost a lot of blood.
"Where's Traci?" Sam asked quietly. He looked around for her but didn't see her, and Oliver gestured and nodded toward where he had just walked from.
"She's waiting for the other officers. I had her drop me off here first, and then bring the gunman to the station. I figured you could use a friend." Oliver said quietly.
Sam nodded. "Thank you" He looked back at Oliver and Oliver looked at Sam, followed his eyes to the doors of the surgery room that Sam was looking at, and sighed, "That where they brought him?"
Sam nodded again. "Yea, about ten minutes ago"
Oliver put his hand on Sam's other shoulder, so that both of his hands were on Sam's shoulders. Sam was still looking at the doors of the surgery room.
"Look at me, Sam" Oliver said quietly. All Sam could think of was when he kept telling Chris the same thing. 'Look at me Chris. Don't stop looking at me!' Sam looked up slowly with his head, but his eyes were still looking at the surgery room doors.
"Look at me" Oliver repeated, and Sam looked at him slowly.
"You did everything that you could, okay. The doctors are going to do everything that they can. It's probably going to take a while, why don't we go sit down." Oliver said.
Sam nodded slowly. "Okay" He didn't want to walk away from his view of the surgery room doors, but he knew that Oliver was right. It could be hours before they knew anything.
Sam looked back at the surgery room doors again as they started to walk away, and Oliver placed an arm around his shoulders. "He'll be alright"
"What if he's not?" Sam asked quietly.
Oliver paused for a long time. Sam could tell he was swallowing hard. Oliver's lips were pursed just as Sam's had been earlier, and he guessed it was because he was trying to hold in emotion too. "He'll be alright" Oliver said again. Sam nodded. He couldn't do anything else.
The two officers had been sitting in some chairs in a waiting room for about ten minutes or so when they heard some more people coming toward him.
"Where is he? Where's Chris?" Dov was running toward them. Sam and Oliver both stood up quickly and just in time for them to stop him with their arms.
"Dov, calm down." Oliver said quickly as Dov tried to get past them. Sam and Oliver were holding Dov back though.
"No! I will not calm down. Where is he? Where's Chris! Is he alright? Where is he?" Dov yelled again.
"He's in emergency surgery" Sam said quickly. "We can't see him yet. We don't know anything yet. Dov, just try to calm down." Sam said. He watched the man in front of him shaking his head quickly from side to side. Dov grasped his hair with both of his hands and walked around in a circle. He caught sight of Sam's shirt and followed it upward with his eyes to look at Sam's face. He then looked to Oliver's shirt, and his arms, and then back to Sam whose arms and shirt looked even worse than Oliver's.
"Is that . . .Is . . .That's . . .is that Chris's blood?" Dov asked, the color in his face draining. He was standing more still than either Sam or Oliver had ever seen him in their lives, and his face was equally as serious. Sam swallowed hard. He nodded.
"Yea, it is" Sam said quickly.
"Well . . .well what happened! Who shot him? Where'd he get hit? Was he conscious? How'd this happen?" Dov yelled loudly, and the tone he was using made Swarek think he was accusing him of something. It was almost as if he was blaming him, and Dov's eyes staring at Swarek, fuming, seemed to support Sam's thought. And Sam didn't even blame him for thinking so.
"He was shot twice" Sam said after a few seconds. "Once in the stomach, and once in the leg. The stomach wound was pretty serious." Sam swallowed hard. "The leg wound wasn't as bad." Sam kept thinking back to Chris lying on the floor in his own blood. His eyes looking directly into Swarek's. 'I can't feel it. I can't feel my leg', Sam thought about Chris trying to sit up and how he had spit out blood. He closed his eyes tightly for a few seconds before opening them back up.
"Well how'd this happen?" Dov asked quickly. "Everyone else is fine?" Dov asked.
"Yea, we're all fine." Oliver said quickly. "Diaz saw the second gunman first, saw him raising his gun before any of the rest of us. He ordered him to drop it, but he didn't. The guy fired and Chris took the bullets." Oliver swallowed hard. Dov ran his hands through his hair again quickly.
"There were four of you, and no one else saw this guy? No one else thought to clear the place? You were all pointing your guns at this one guy?" Dov asked angrily. "Maybe if one of you'd cleared the place, looked for a second gunman, Chris wouldn't have been shot!" Dov said angrily. He started walking around again, throwing his hands in the air, and yelling.
Oliver opened his mouth to contest, but then closed it quickly. Sam didn't even try. He didn't even want to. Because he knew it was the truth. There were four of them. They were all focused on the one guy. They should have spread out. They should have looked for more suspects. They should have been paying attention. They should have prevented this. He should have prevented it.
Traci turned the corner, walking with Jerry, Andy, and Gail. They all jogged over and started talking at the same time. "Where is he? Is he alright?" Traci spat.
Dov was quiet, walking around in a circle, and Oliver looked up at them quickly. Sam looked up at them too and sighed. "He's in surgery. We don't know anything yet."
"What happened?" Jerry asked quickly. "Traci said two gunshot wounds. One to the stomach, one to the leg. You were with him in the ambulance?" Jerry looked at Sam.
Sam nodded slowly and looked to all the faces looking at him for some sort of news. Oliver looked desperate, Dov was angry but scared, Traci looked frightened, McNally eager, Gail full of fear, Jerry worried. They were all looking at him and he didn't know what to tell them.
"He was conscious in the ambulance. And he was conscious when we got here." Sam said quietly.
McNally nodded. "So that's good right?"
"He was talking before the paramedics got there." Traci said quickly. "He smiled at me. He must have understood how scared I was" Traci gave a sad smile.
"So he was aware?" Jerry asked. He looked from Sam to Oliver to Traci.
"Yea, he was." Oliver said quickly.
"And the doctors haven't told you anything yet?" Gail asked quickly. Sam shook his head.
"No. He's been in surgery for about a half an hour." Sam said quietly. Jerry nodded and Traci wiped a tear out of her eye. Sam looked at her.
"I'm sorry, it's just" Traci pursed her lips together and shook her head, "it's just seeing him like that, all bloody and in pain, and even so, he tried to make me feel better."
"He's a good kid. A great guy" Oliver said with a smile. Sam nodded. He looked down at his shirt again and started looking at his hands and arms. Jerry looked from Sam to Oliver and then to Traci.
"I've got a few extra t-shirts in my car" Jerry said quietly. He didn't really want to acknowledge the fact that Sam and Oliver's shirts were covered in Chris's blood, and he didn't think anyone else did either, but he felt that maybe Sam and Oliver would feel at least a little better in some different clothes, that didn't have Chris's blood on them.
Everyone turned and looked at Sam and Oliver's shirts even though a few of them had already, and they had all studied them when they got there and then quickly looked away after several minutes of staring.
"No. I'm alright." Sam said sternly. Oliver shook his head. Neither one of them wanted to leave.
"I can go get them, really" Jerry said quickly. He had picked up on their reasons. "I think we're probably going to need them for evidence anyways" Jerry said, trying to convince them to change clothes.
"I don't really care about the evidence, Jerry. We know who shot him. We killed him. It's not really a priority for me to put on a different shirt." Sam said quickly. Jerry nodded.
"Okay, maybe later" Jerry said.
"So what actually happened?" Dov asked, his voice was calmer than it had been, but the anger and hurt were still noticeable.
Oliver sighed. "We got a call out. Sam and Traci went around the front, Chris and I went around back. Robbery, suspect was assumed to be armed. I went in first. Told the suspect to put the gun down. But he didn't listen. Chris followed me in. He pointed his gun at the suspect too. Sam and Traci came in from the front, and snuck up behind him. Sam grabbed his hands and started to cuff him. Then I heard Chris yell for someone to put their gun down. I turned and there was another gunman. He didn't listen either. He pointed the gun at us. Chris got in front. The guy fired and hit him in the stomach. Then Traci and I fired four shots between us. Sam turned and shot him four more times. The guy fired once more as he fell and hit Chris in the leg."
Dov sighed. "Sounds pretty rough"
Traci nodded. "It was. It all happened so fast. It felt like all the shots were happening at once. But Chris tried to protect us."
"Of course he did" Sam said quietly.
Jerry looked at Sam who appeared to be deep in thought. Probably considered what he could have done differently. Blaming it all on himself, taking all the responsibility. He was hard on himself, Jerry knew that, and he didn't want Sam to feel like it was his fault that Chris was shot.
"Can I get you guys some coffee? We'll probably be waiting a while." Jerry said, and he looked at Oliver who was starring at the floor. Jerry sighed. Oliver was probably thinking the same things.
Sam shook his head. "No. I'm good."
Oliver shook his head as well. "No thanks."
Jerry sighed and looked from Traci to McNally. They both gestured for him to let it go, so he did. Traci sat down next to Oliver and she placed her hand on his shoulder.
"You guys did everything that you could. You were great. I froze up. But you guys were great." Traci tried to smile a little, and she managed to give them a small one. Oliver patted her hand that was on his shoulder.
"Thanks, Traci. You got the guy back to the station alright?" Oliver asked.
"Yea, it was fine. Wanted to smash his face into the wall, but I didn't. I did shove him pretty hard into the station though. Although I really want to punch him in the face." Traci said quickly.
"I second that" Oliver said quickly.
The officers were quiet for a few minutes before they started talking to each other again. They were all thinking and concentrating on their own thoughts, staring. After a few minutes Dov sighed loudly.
"I'm going to go see if I can find someone who knows what's going on, and if anyone can tell me anything about the surgery." Dov said quickly. He stood up out of his chair and started to walk away.
"I'll come with you" McNally said as she got up to follow him and Gail did as well.
"Me too" Gail said quickly.
Sam, Oliver, Jerry, and Traci sat quietly. Sam was staring at his shirt. He could not stop thinking about all the blood. He could feel his hands pressed against Chris's warm stomach, blood oozing out of the wound and onto his hands. He heard the gunshots. Felt his finger on the trigger. Heard himself telling Chris that he'd be okay, and yelling at him to continue looking at him.
Why didn't I turn around sooner? Why didn't I look for a second shooter? Why had the idiot fired? He knew he was going to be killed, there were four cops there. Why had he fired? Why did he have to shoot? Why couldn't he have just put the gun down. Why hadn't I done something? Sam asked himself.
Oliver looked at Sam quickly and they shared a look. They both knew this was serious. Chris had lost a lot of blood. They had both tried, so hard. They were both rethinking everything that had happened. They both understood what the other was going through, because he was going through it himself. Oliver offered a sad smile, and Sam nodded at him with a sad smile as well.
Jerry looked quickly at them, and then stood up. "I'm going to go get you guys some coffee. You can wait here if you want. Traci, you want to come?" Jerry asked. Traci nodded and stood up.
"We'll be right back" Traci said quickly. Jerry and Traci walked down the hallway and around the corner. Sam and Oliver were still quiet.
"You really think he'll be okay?" Sam asked after a few minutes of sitting in quiet with Oliver. Oliver shrugged slowly.
"I think he'll be alright" Oliver said quietly. Sam sighed.
"I know you keep saying that." Sam said and Oliver looked at him, "But do you really think he will be?"
Oliver was quiet for a few seconds. "I have to."
Sam nodded. "Me too"
"You . . .you . . . you were really good today, Sammy. Really good. You got the kid to calm down. You got him to look at you."
Sam was quiet for a few more seconds and he looked around the room. He thought back to how he had been helping Chris. "I yelled at him"
Oliver smiled a little. "That's just what the kid needed. You know how he likes the rules. He knows you were only doing it to help him. Don't be too hard on yourself."
"Yea" Sam huffed out in a forced sarcastic laugh, "I'm not sure I know how to do that"
"Well, I'm certainly not one to give you advice in that area" Oliver said with a little smile.
The officers watched as Dov, McNally, and Gail all walked back over to them. The frustration was written all over Dov's face.
"Find out anything?" Oliver asked, although from the way Dov was fuming, he doubted it.
"No! Nothing" Dov said angrily. "They won't release any information to people who aren't family.
"But we are family" Oliver said quickly.
"That's what I tried to tell them" McNally said quickly. "They said that they could only release information to his family. They're trying to contact them now."
Sam was frustrated. He was angry. Both at himself, and at the doctors. He was confused. Hurt. Pained. Fearful. Desperate. Eager. Willing to do anything. Sam looked at Dov, McNally, Gail, and Oliver and nodded. Sam stood up quickly and started to walk away.
"Where are you going?" Oliver asked quickly.
Sam turned around. "To find out some information."
"We already tried that . . ." Dov started, but Oliver gestured for him to stop, so he did. Sam continued to walk down the hallway. He was staring at the ground. Sam was going over everything in his head. The way the gunshots sounded as they pierced the air, shells bouncing on the linoleum floors. The way Chris sounded when he thudded to the floor. The look on Chris's face when he tried to sit up and see his wounds. The look on Chris's face when he saw that his hands were covered in blood, the look when Chris realized how bad his stomach wound was, and the look on Chris's face when he told Sam that he could not feel his leg. The way it sounded, his voice drenched in worry and coated in anxiety. The way his own voice sounded, ordering Chris to continue looking at him, the way it was wavering with emotion, almost breaking, and how he had to fight hard to hold back the tears from falling down his cheek, and the emotion from taking over his voice. The way that Chris had looked at him. And continued to look at him. And did not stop looking at him.
Sam reached the desk that he assumed he could get some information from and looked at the woman behind it quickly. "Could you please tell me anything you know about the condition or surgery of Chris Diaz. He's the cop."
The woman looked at him and Sam could tell that she felt bad. Sam continued to think about Chris. He's my rookie. He's my friend. He's my . . .
"I'm sorry, sir, but I can't release any information to anyone who isn't family. It's a policy."
Sam looked at her quickly and nodded. "He's my brother"
I hope you guys liked this chapter! Please review and let me know why you think? Do you think the characters acted, well, in character? Let me know what you think, and any predictions you may have. I like to hear them! Thanks guys, please continue to read and review!