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Ugh, what a day!
Lost my voice, wrote two okay-ish essays and now it's past midnight...
Anyways! Who cares!
Yay! Update! Finally!
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I read and take to heart each and every one and these were really helpful!
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Okay, gonna go sleep now...
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Forever Young - One Direction (yes, I think they're awesome! So's their autotuner...but hey! Still good!)
Rolling my suitcase wheels down the cobblestoned driveway of Force reminded me of the first time I'd entered those gates. It had only been a few months, and yet everything I saw now was marked with memories. The long, wet road outside where I'd ran to catch the bus after Lauren, one of the bitches of my class, had put gum on my pointe shoe. The car park where Edward had told me he was just my teacher and didn't love me at all. The big turning circle where all the US Ballet coaches had stopped and I'd met the unbearable Jeffrey Evans, US Ballet Academy's Artistic Director.
And finally the iconic double doors and pointe shoe door knocker which marked the entrance into Force de la Beauté.
I hauled my suitcase up the steps and opened the door. A smile broke out across my face as I entered into the massive entrance hall, with its grand staircase leading up to the studios and dorms, the cherry wood floors, the glittering chandelier and large, spacious windows shining pale light down the stairs. It was silent. I glanced at my watch – 1:55. Everyone would be in class now.
Not able to stop grinning, I put my suitcase at the bottom of the stairs and slipped into the office. Mrs Cope sat in exactly the same place as she'd sat when I'd signed out after my injury, behind the same massive stacks of files and notes.
"Yes?" she said without looking up. "No, that will not be possible until March. The information pack should have been sent – "
"Excuse me, ma'am," I said quietly.
Mrs Cope looked up at me agitatedly. "Please hold a moment, sir." With the click of a button, a piece of paper was shot out of the printer. She grabbed it and handed it to me. "Your new timetable. You've still got two periods today, which you'll be expected to go to. All dormitory arrangements are the same."
"Thank you, ma'am."
She gave me a nod, then went straight back to the phone, a clear sign for me to go.
I went back out into the entrance hall and began my long trek up to the third floor. As I struggled with my suitcase, I looked at my timetable. I couldn't understand why I'd been given a new one...until I saw extra time slots added to the end of three of my days:
5:30 – 6:45 Private Partnering
T: C Carlisle
A thrill of nerves went through me. So Master Carlisle had meant what he'd said after the accident – he was going to teach Edward and me how to dance together properly. Edward and I had only danced three times. The very first time had been choreographed, but it was just a short combination...and he'd stormed out at the end of it.
The second time had been a long time later, right after Tanya had tripped me over on stage, Edward had come on, to the total surprise of everyone, particularly those of us who thought he was in New York, and helped me dance through the rest of the piece. The last time had been that same night. I suppose it had been incredibly stupid to dance on an already injured ankle, but painkillers, adrenalin and my emotions had clouded over the pain, and Edward and I had danced to our piece, Clair de Lune. That, of course, had been totally impromptu, and completely wonderful...
So we hadn't had to dance a choreographed piece together, and that freedom to just let ourselves go completely was amazing...but Master Carlisle had made it clear that that was the only way our relationship – our connection – would ever work. But I was worried that as soon as we started choreographing and working on technique, Edward would realize just how inexperienced I was and wouldn't want to dance with me anymore...
Not that that will even matter, since I'm leaving –
I bit my lip hard, stopping at the top of the third floor staircase, then shoved the thought out of my head. I was planning on telling Edward tonight, and until then...I just wanted to pretend it wasn't happening.
With a determined sigh, I tugged my suitcase along across the polished wooden floor of the corridor to the First Year girls' dorm. Opening the door, I saw that everything was just as I'd left it. The same old fashioned single beds running up either side of the long room, couches at the back, rose embroidered curtains and strong scent of twenty different perfumes.
Delighted, I dumped my suitcase at the foot of the bed nearest to the door. My bed, I thought with a smile. I'm home!
With a sudden desire to hurry up and see my friends, I quickly flicked open my suitcase and changed into the usual pale pink tights and black leo. Then I tugged on some track pants and a dark blue wrap, chucked my water bottle and shoes in my dance bag and headed out.
I could hardly contain myself on the short walk from the dorm to Ballet History. I was finally back at Force...and I was about to see all my friends and dance again!
Trying to resemble some dignity, I knocked on the window of Master Butler's classroom and then entered. My class sat in the usual rows, all looking half asleep. Ballet History was more of a nap period than an actual class.
"Miss Swan," Master Butler said in his usual monotone, as if I was already scripted in the lecture he was giving.
But suddenly my classmates spun around in their chairs, quite awake.
"Bella!" came the unmistakeable squeal of Violet. "Ohmigod!"
And then my friends were up from their seats, giving me hugs.
"Hey Bella!" said Eliza, one of my good friends, as she threw her arms around me. "We were all wondering when you were gonna be back!"
"I didn't know until a couple of days ago," I said.
"How's your ankle, Bella?" asked Ben, giving me a shy smile.
"On the mend," I replied. "How are you guys, though? I've missed you so much!"
Before they could say anything, Master Butler cleared his throat. "Students, if you could just settle down...so Stravinsky's techniques were often shunned by..."
Eliza rolled her eyes at me, but kept grinning as everyone sat back down. The only seat left in the class was at the back, next to the one person who had given no reaction to my arrival; Lauren.
My old enemy sat with her arms crossed over her stomach, glaring at the board. She'd had a haircut since I'd last seen her, and now it was short, above the shoulders, and a bleached into a very pale blond. Feeling my gaze on her, she turned, raising a pointed eyebrow at me. "What?"
"Nothing," I muttered.
"If you're waiting for an 'I've missed you so much', I wouldn't hold your breath," she smirked, turning to look back at the board.
I rolled my eyes, but I wasn't about to let Lauren ruin my return.
Ballet History went slowly, as usual, but I was still too excited to be bored. As Master Butler went into detail about Stravinsky's relationship with the choreographer during the Rite of Spring, I looked around at my class, recalling faces, observing all the changes, revelling in the fact that I was back with them! Finally!
As the lesson finally reached its end, though, and the clock hands moved, nerves began buzzing in me. Because our next class was partnering...
Eventually the bell rung shrill, and everyone leapt up, grabbing their bags and heading for the door.
"So how was being home?" asked Eliza as we walked down the corridor.
"Dull," I said. Until I'd received my 'present'... "Nothing much happened, really."
"But what about Edward?" Violet demanded excitedly, coming up on my other side. "Are you guys still going out?"
"Vi'..." Eliza said warningly, though she looked at me with equal curiosity.
I laughed, "Well, last time I checked, I think it was a 'yes'."
"Yay!" Violet squealed. "Honestly, no one's stopped talking about the Review, and it's been ages!"
"Great," I murmured. Now we had reached the second floor, which was more crowded. Students on their way to classes recognized me as we walked past, and quickly started talking to their friends. I swallowed – I had almost forgotten the tight gossip circles of Force.
"God," Violet gasped dramatically. "You're like Nicole Kidman walking onto a movie set. Force royalty!"
"Just see what people think of her majesty when she starts dancing," Lauren muttered, coming up behind us. "Unfortunately, partnering calls for equal strength from both partners. Princey might not be so satisfied."
"Oh shut up, Lauren," Eliza snapped.
She smirked and walked on.
Violet huffed, "It's just because Tyler chose Selene over her, asked to change partners and everything."
"And was he allowed to?" I asked.
Eliza shook her head, "Nope. He asked when Edward was still running everything. I'm pretty sure he's still getting revenge for a certain someone..."
I blushed, my heart fluttering.
We reached the studio and entered. The room where so much had happened was the same as ever – mirrors covering three walls, big windows on the fourth. Smooth wooden ballet barres were attached to the walls and a piano and stereo sat in the corner. And at the piano sat Mrs Gerran, the pianist who had seen everything that had happened in here. I gave her a smile as I dumped my bag and began putting on my ballet slippers. She returned it with a shy but welcoming wave.
Eliza, Violet and I warmed up together. My legs felt stiff and they didn't move as I wanted them to, and I had to think about my posture instead of it being natural. It was frustrating seeing my friends easily sink into stretches when I could hardly do a front split. Still, I was glad to be back.
"So what else has been happening?" I asked as I pulled a leg warmer over my bad ankle.
"Not much," Eliza said. "Everyone's just been working hard for exams."
"Oh God," I groaned. "When?"
"Just before Christmas," Violet said. "But don't worry! You'll be fine!"
Right then, the door opened. A thrill of excited nerves charged through me. I stood up with the others. The first person to enter was a tall man with a handlebar moustache and a frank expression. He must be our new partnering teacher, I thought. But then all thought through from my head.
Edward! He walked in with his usual confident stride. His hair was the same dark bronze, slightly dishevelled and – I could finally think it without feeling weird – seriously sexy. He was wearing a navy blue v-neck t-shirt and track pants, and of course a pair of worn leather ballet shoes.
I could feel everyone looking from me to him, waiting. All I could do was grin like an idiot as he put his bag down by the piano.
"Good afternoon, class," said the teacher.
"Good afternoon, Master Lawson," everyone chorused. I curtsied haphazardly with the rest of them, still not able to draw my eyes away from Edward as he greeted Mrs Gerran.
"Ah, you must be Miss Swan," said Master Lawson.
At my name, Edward finally turned and saw me standing there. His face first flickered with disbelief, then his lips broke into a heart melting smile. I grinned back, biting my lip to stop myself from laughing in delight. The moment did not last long, though.
"Miss Swan?"
We both broke away from each other's gaze, snapping to attention. Oh crap – everyone was laughing. Well, everyone save Master Lawson, whose moustache was bristling agitatedly.
"Uh," I began, then cleared my throat. Focus! "Yes, sir."
He nodded, "Good. You may go with Mister Newton today, and we shall see if any changes need to be made."
"Yes sir," I nodded. Glancing at Edward, I saw that he was focussing completely on Master Lawson now, his face betraying none of the excitement I had seen seconds earlier. I guessed that now probably wasn't the time for a proper 'welcome home'.
"Alright, positions, please!" Master Lawson ordered.
Determined to ignore Edward, I went to my usual place on the far side of the room, by the windows. Mike came in behind me. I gave him a quick smile to reassure him. Mike returned it.
"Beginning with a simple sequence – pique arabesque, and into pirouette..." the teacher demonstrated each move. "Courus downstage and finish in attitude. Understood?" With nods from the class, he gestured for Mrs Gerran to begin. "And five six seven eight..."
I stepped up into arabesque, lifting my leg behind me and reaching my arm in front. Mike's hands rested on my hips. I felt a little shaky with my balance, and I knew my leg wasn't as high as it should have been. I bit my lip and fixed my turn out. My ankle and loss of flexibility weren't to be helped, but I could try and at least focus a little.
As we went through the first few simple combinations, I found that my body was beginning to wake up, and my muscles were remembering the movements.
I was in attitude when I saw Edward approaching in the mirror. Casually, his fingers brushed mine, supposedly fixing something. I tried not to look as my heart thudded. Gently, I let my finger touch his knuckle. I am just correcting my hands, I reasoned stupidly, looking hazily forward.
As someone somewhere cleared their throat, Edward dropped his hand from mine. "Point your foot, Mister Newton," he said in that blunt tone which could fool anyone that he was the usual superior and unbeatable Edward Masen, then went on to the next partnership. I hastily moved onto the next move with my heart thudding.
After that, the class seemed to take a lifetime. Master Lawson turned out to be quite a good tutor. He reminded me of my old science teachers back at Forks High – methodical and straight to the point. He didn't take any of Selene and Jane's chattering, and he spent an equal amount of time with each partnership. He wasn't inspiring, exactly, but I sensed that he was just what my class needed after the weeks of drama we had had with Madame Wright – an ex-principal dancer who couldn't teach and had instead made us do moves we had never properly been taught how to do.
But Edward was such a big distraction. Every time I heard his voice correcting someone, I lost where I was in the combination. As we progressed to larger combinations and had to wait our turn on the dance floor, I couldn't help but watch him intently, revising every inch of him.
As the clock on the wall inched its hands toward five-thirty, more and more butterflies fluttered around my stomach. Leaving so soon after our relationship begun had meant that it had taken on dreamlike quality...and once again I found it hard to believe that it was possible for Edward Masen to want to be with someone like me.
Well, I thought as Mike and I finished our combination and went to the back. I should make the most of him while it lasts.
Christmas...I must have been the only kid in the World to be dreading it.
"Alright, class," Master Lawson finally announced. He ran a hand over his moustache and then put his hands on his hips. Regardless of his abilities and science-teacher personality, that moustache and his white tank top made him look like a bodybuilder from the Sixties. "There was some improvement today. Tomorrow I want to do a quick revision of the fish, since some of you are still uncertain, and then we'll move on to the exam pieces which need to be learnt. Thank you very much for your focus today. You're dismissed."
"Thank you, sir," everyone chorused. The class broke into conversation as everyone packed up.
Master Lawson was talking to Edward, and so I went to sit down by Eliza and Violet. They just looked at me for a moment, then burst into laughter.
"You are so cute, Bella!" Violet giggled.
I bit my lip again – something I seemed to be doing a lot of today – and flexed my feet awkwardly. "Was I really that transparent?"
"Oh yeah," Eliza nodded.
I would have been embarrassed...but I didn't have enough space for anything but excitement. With a gnawing impatience, I waited for everyone to leave. I pretended to be searching around in my ballet bag for something or other, and then pulling up my legwarmer, and then retying my wrap. Across the room, Edward was sifting through a pile of sheet music. We weren't exactly doing a very convincing job; everyone was looking between the two of us again, waiting for something to happen.
But finally the last of them realized that they weren't going to get anything out of us for the gossip circles and they left. The door shut behind Selene, Jane and Abigail just as I was redoing the elastic of my slipper for the fifth time.
In seconds, the music and shoes were abandoned. Edward was in front of me in a flash, his arms wrapping around my waist, my hands locking around his neck. "Bella," he breathed as our lips touched. I pulled closer. Yes! Finally! I felt his smile as we kissed again and again, not able to get enough. My fingers knotted in his hair, my breathing turned ragged. Laughter mixed between touches as we relearned each other after so long apart. Finally...
Edward pulled us back against the wall by the door. His arms clasped me closer still, his hands exploring my back, brushing the bare skin where my leotard opened. I ran my hands down his chest, recalling the hard contours, the perfection. There were other dancers, other partners, but none of them could ever be like Edward. He was perfect...and he was mine!
Finally, after what seemed like far too short a time, we came up for air.
"I've missed you so much," Edward murmured. Both of us were breathing heavily, and grinning like there was no tomorrow.
Now, I stared into his sparkling green eyes, alight with energy. "And I you," I said quietly, tracing the line of his jaw.
We stayed quiet in each other's arms for a moment, catching our breath again and just...marvelling. Finally...finally!
"You didn't give me fair warning," Edward said after a while. "Poor Mike Newton was in serious danger of being totalled. That he should get to dance with you before me..." he made a face.
I laughed, "Tough love. My physio only gave me the go ahead yesterday."
"You're not allowed en pointe?" he asked, looking down at my ballet slippers.
"She said to ease back into it," I said. "So not too much pointe for the next few days."
He grinned at me, "Who cares, so long as you're back."
I pushed away the little thought niggling inside my head that was saying I wasn't going to be back for long. Hoping my expression hadn't changed, I quickly remembered; "Thank you for your present."
Edward took my right hand. The sapphires and silver glinted now that I had taken the sports tape off. "It suits you," he said softly, putting a gentle kiss on the cool metal, and then another on my lips.
I smiled and pulled away, instead twirling into the middle of the studio. "It's so good to dance again!" I exclaimed, feeling the air brush past my skin as I pirouetted.
Edward laughed, and his hands were quickly turning waist, letting me spin for longer. It was always better en pointe, but dancing was dancing, regardless. And dancing with Edward...
Easily, he lifted me high above his head, one hand on my inner thigh, the other just under my ribs. I let my eyes flutter shut as I floated above everything, my arm reaching out in front of me. I felt beautiful, like a true dancer, for the first time in months.
Gently, Edward lowered me back down, placing me in front of him. We stood in the silence for a moment. At the very centre of us was dance...somehow it had connected us to each other before we had even really met. And that connection, it seemed, was still as strong as ever.
"We should go," Edward said eventually, tracing my collarbone. "I'm sure the others will want to see you."
"I suppose," I sighed, then met his eyes. "One more minute?"
He laughed, and we spent our last minute in another state of bliss.
It was after six when we reached the Dining Hall. We dumped our bags outside the door and entered. The Dining Hall was a massive room, decorated with rich tapestries and chandeliers. Big circular tables took up the space, along with a dais where the teachers presided over the students.
People stared as Edward and I entered.
"Great - front page already," I muttered, quickly patting down my hair.
Edward laughed and wrapped his arm around my waist. "Don't worry, they'll get over us eventually."
He made it sound as if from here everything would be smooth sailing, but surely he had know that our problems were far from over – I was still a First Year, Tanya was still sitting somewhere with revenge on her mind, and we had yet to see how Master Carlisle's private lessons would work out. I doubted the gossips would ever run out of our drama. Particularly after I drop the Aro Colaianni bomb.
"Bella," Edward said, pulling me to him as we stood in the queue. He tugged my hands around his back and fixed me with those striking green eyes. "Do not worry about them. Gossips don't matter."
"I know," I said, and hoped that Edward didn't realize that it wasn't the gossips, but what they might be gossiping about.
We grabbed our food and made our way over to the usual table.
"Bella!" Alice jumped out of her seat and threw her arms around me. "You're finally back!"
I was soon embraced by Jasper, Alice's boyfriend from Russia, and then Emmett, Master Carlisle and Madame Esme's heavily muscled son. Even Rosalie, Jasper beautiful and slightly menacing twin, shot me a smile.
We all sat down, Edward and I next to each other, and it was like it had always been like this. Tanya was forgotten, it seemed.
"So why are you two so late?" Emmett demanded in a voice so much like his father's. "Since when do you get to keep Bella all to yourself?"
"We had class."
"Those poor innocent First Years," Alice said dolefully, shaking her head. "Scarred for life..."
It was a fun evening – Emmett's jokes were sillier than ever, Rosalie's chastisements just as harsh. The boys teased Edward mercilessly for his 'love struck' expression until Edward turned to Emmett and said, "Emmett, remember when I didn't say anything about your odd appearance that one night outside the library window?"
That mysteriously silenced his mocking for the rest of the night.
Once dinner was over, we headed up to the Senior Common Room. I wasn't really meant to be in there since I was a First Year, but it seemed that Edward ruled the place, and so no one bothered me. We sprawled on the couches, Edward lying behind me with an arm slung over my waist, and talked for hours.
As I hung out with my friends, the most amazing guy in the world behind me, at the best ballet academy in America, I realized that I couldn't face the thought of leaving...it just wasn't possible. Maybe in Forks, away from all this, I could delude myself into thinking Aro's would be okay. But here, I knew I couldn't go...
At ten, long after First Year curfew, we finally stood up again.
Alice gave me a hug goodnight. "Have you told him yet?" she asked quietly.
I shook my head. "I will," I said.
Edward walked me down the dark corridors back to my dorm. At the door, he stopped me and pulled me to him.
"Bella," he said softly. In the dim light, I could see his eyes turn solemn. "I missed you so much." His thumb ran across my lip. Gently, he leaned in, his breath ghosting my lips. "Welcome home."
And as we kissed, I tried to summon up the courage from somewhere...somehow...but I could not find the strength in me to break this moment.
"It's good to be home."
Forgive me for any mistakes...I'm a leetle tired...
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