AN: People liked the first one, so I'm making another! Also, Fat Gum and Ryuukyuu have names now! So does Rock Lock! And Ryuukyuu's first name is the same as Pixie-bob's, apparently! More headcanons incoming! Also, I'm gonna add in hero names just to keep things simple. Also-also, I'm not gonna be able to get everyone in every chapter, for multiple reasons. The main characters will pretty much always show up, but minor characters (especially those only recently introduced) will not be present as often. Lemme know what you think! Kitty out.
Note: Hagakure is invisible. Which means her physical features and anything relating to said features are entirely up to me. :)
Extra Note: Any mention of jean-related dysphoria is based off of my own personal experiences and deep-seated loathing of denim. Also, I don't care how much people like him or why, Best Jeanist can eat a dick.
Summary: Bakugou and Hagakure find common ground, the Todoroki Family Drama™ continues, Mineta tries to start a new holiday, and Shinsou and Kouda might have too much time on their hands.
Aizawa Shouta (Eraserhead) – I don't care if you think it would be a good theme song for the school, make Present Mic turn it off before the damage becomes irreparable.
Akaguro Chizome (Stain) – Stop trying to profit off of Stain-based merchandise. You don't seem to understand how being in prison works.
All For One – Stop encouraging people to reinstate the death penalty. I don't care how annoying certain former heroes have been; you deserve it.
Amajiki Tamaki (Suneater) – If Toogata asks you to cover for him, you should ask for more information and then tell the proper authority figure. "Plausible deniability" does not apply when you're fully aware that misbehavior is occurring, even if you don't know the details.
Aoyama Yuuga – The fact that someone has not told you not to do something does not mean that you are permitted to do it, especially if you have yet to actually ask.
Ashido Mina (Pinky) – I don't care if it's actually a picture of your elbow. You took it in a way that made it look like it was your behind, and you did so on purpose. Cut it out.
Asui Tsuyu (Froppy) – The clip from that angry American man about "chemicals in the water" and "gay frogs" was not, in fact, a compliment. And I believe you are fully aware of this. Stop sending him letters thanking him for "raising awareness for homosexual amphibians".
Awata Kaoruko (Bubble Girl) – If someone mocks your Quirk, the proper response is that you have successfully built a career that generally involves a great deal of combat on said Quirk. Do not follow them around stink-bubble bombing them for a week.
Bakugou Katsuki – While I understand that making Hagakure wear lipstick will improve your ability to communicate with her, I feel obligated to point out that doing it for her has led to the entire school now being aware of your cosmetic prowess. Should people begin to ask you for help or tips, you may politely tell them that you aren't interested in a career as a beautician. You may not threaten to "explodo-kill their faces", nor may you attempt to follow through on that threat.
Bakugou Mitsuki – If you're going to encourage your son to try and make some money off his non-violent talents, please keep in mind that he is a high school student, and most of his customers are also going to be high school students. As such, prices should not be ridiculously high.
Bakugou Masaru – There is nothing wrong with teenagers in a relationship, nor is there anything inherently wrong with polyamory. That said, please stop encouraging anyone your son interacts with to go out with him.
Bondo Kojirou – If you wish to be left alone, please tell whoever is bothering you. Do not encase yourself or the person speaking tt you in a concrete casing via your Quirk.
Bubaigawara Jin (Twice) – While mentally ill and disabled people do indeed need more rights and a stronger support system, you are probably not the best role model. I'm glad you allegedly inspired the potential disability club, but as a villain who does not work here, you are not eligible to be the faculty member in charge of said club.
Chatora Yawara (Tiger) – No one wants to know what you think the Froot Loops mascot does in his spare time that involves a tub of glitter, a wrench, and ritualistic sacrifices. If you're in any way responsible for whatever Kouda and Shinsou are doing, stop it this instant.
Chisaki Kai (Overhaul) – If people start calling you 'Scar' or making other references to a certain alchemy-based manga, the only complaint you are allowed to have is that that particular character was actually surprisingly good with kids.
Dabi – Do not bribe/threaten the hospital staff into going along with this week's Todoroki Family Drama™. What does that have to do with you, anyway?
Eri – Putting on a pair of sunglasses does not make you immune from consequences. Do not superglue spoons to people's faces while they sleep.
Fourth Kind – While I agree that the Ganesha jokes are inappropriate and potentially offensive, I would like to point out that responding with "my mother's name was not Parvati, and I do not ride around on a rat" is not going to make the jokes stop. It may actually make things worse, and people will question why you know so much about Hinduism off the top of your head.
Fukidashi Manga – Stop insisting that Hadou, Amajiki, and Toogata are Poseidon, Hades, and Zeus, respectively. "The Big Three" is not a title limited to the Percy Jackson series, and this school doesn't need another cult.
Fukukado Emi (Ms. Joke) – If you absolutely must attempt to serenade Eraserhead, don't do it on campus, don't do it at three in the morning, don't do it with karaoke, and don't use heavy metal.
Gran Torino – Stop spreading rumors that there was a cult on this campus at any point in time. There never was, and even if there had been, it would've been your fault.
Hadou Nejire (Nejire-chan) – Being part of the Big Three does not mean assisting your fellow members in their illicit activities. Neither you nor Amajiki should be providing alibis for Toogata. In fact, stop encouraging him altogether.
Hagakure Tooru (Invisible Girl) – While I of course encourage a support group for aspiring heroes with disabilities, I must express my concern over the leaders of said group being yourself and Bakugou, as he cannot hear you and you cannot see him. If you learn sign language (and wear gloves during club meetings), or find a translator, then I will green light your club.
Hakamata Tsunagu (Best Jeanist) – If U.A. sends a student to you for an internship, you do not have the right to force said student into jeans, especially if said student has made it clear that tight pants cause gender dysphoria for him. Please give Bakugou (and his parents) a proper apology, or we will no longer consider you as a potential mentor for our students.
Hatsume Mei – If someone is annoying you, do not offer to make them prosthetics, and then, when they point out that they do not actually need prosthetics, offer to "fix that for them". You were not being genial, you were threatening Kaminari's legs.
Hikiishi Kenji (Magne) – Stop encouraging our trans students to "fight the power". They can fight for equality without being on the run for murder, and you are not as good an influence as you think you are. That said, I have been asked to tell you that several formerly closeted students have cited you as an inspiration for coming out and are grateful for your support, even if your career goal is less than preferable.
Honenuki Juuzou – Stop telling people that you are a zombie. Someone will eventually believe you, and I don't want to deal with more people trying to kill my students than I already have to.
Iguchi Shuuichi (Spinner) – Not all lesbians require swords, and it is not your duty to provide them. No, this does not mean you can have them back.
Iida Tensei (Ingenium) – "Cool motive, still murder" is not the proper response when someone asks you about Stain.
Iida Tenya (Ingenium) – While you are the last person I thought I would have to explain this to, it seems it is necessary anyway: Mineta was lying. Take those off your head.
Ishiyama Ken (Cementoss) – Stop encouraging dick jokes about Kirishima and Tetsutetsu. This applies even if those two are the main source of said dick jokes.
Izumi Kouta – If a villain harasses you over the phone, inform your guardians so that they can prevent it from continuing to happen. Do not use it as an opportunity to "get better at smack-talk".
Jirou Kyouka (Earphone Jack) – Stop downloading footage of your classmates, dubbing them over with weird dialogue, and "accidentally" uploading them to the school website. If they kill you, you have only yourself to blame.
Kamihara Shinya (Edgeshot) – There is no such thing as a "Dad Squad", and you can't join by adopting a student from Eraserhead's class. Stop trying to adopt Bakugou.
Kaminari Denki (Chargezuma) – If you are in a position where Hatsume is physically capable of removing any part of your body or considering doing so, it is in your best interest to get out of that position. "Live by the booby, die by the booby" will not be an acceptable response when Recovery Girl is asking you why there is a socket wrench that needs to be removed from your rectum.
Kan Sekijirou (Blood King) – I don't know what you and Midnight were doing in the teachers' lounge, but I don't think jack-o-lanterns are supposed to look like that.
Kayama Nemuri (Midnight) – Do not paint walls with pumpkin guts.
Kendou Itsuka (Battle Fist) – Stop trying to convince Best Jeanist (the company) to sue Best Jeanist (the hero). They sponsor him.
Kirishima Eijirou (Red Riot) – If you announce that you "get hard to save people", you will be given a detention.
Kodai Yui – "I bet mine's bigger" is not the appropriate response to anything, regardless of whether or not you can back it up.
Komori Kinoko – The Great Pumpkin is a pumpkin, as the name implies. It is not a rare type of mushroom that can only be produced on October 31st, and you will stop telling people that you will make said mushroom "for a reasonable price".
Kouda Kouji (Anima) – Please stop telling people that the ocean demands a blood sacrifice. Even if it's true, you're only going to cause problems. Speaking of which, go tell Shinsou to stop trying to recruit people into his ocean cult. I don't care that he said you could be the "co-Mega Reverend".
Kurogiri – The fact that you are the only thing keeping the League of Villains in a somewhat organized group does not make you the "Ultra Dad".
Kuroiro Shihai – Stop rigging random classroom objects to spray people with ink. I am this close from banning the Rolling Stones in this school.
Maijima Higari (Power Loader) – Do not let Hatsume and Tokage try to breed to dinosaur. It's not "for science", and you should know that that excuse won't fly with me, of all people.
Midoriya Hisashi – Stop trying to start conspiracy theories about whether or not you actually exist.
Midoriya Inko – Stop encouraging your husband's nonsense.
Midoriya Izuku (Deku) – If Ragdoll, All Might, and Toogata do indeed form a group for Quirkless people, you are not an applicable member as you are in possession of a Quirk. You may not cite "years of oppression by SOMEONE" as a reason for you to be included in this group. Please find other ways to try and guilt-trip Bakugou (by the way: it's not working).
Mineta Minoru (Grape Juice) – There is no such thing as "National Underpants Day", and it is not celebrated by wearing underpants on one's head.
Mongoose Habuko – I don't know who told you otherwise, but leaving dead rats on someone's doorstep is not a sign that you like them. It's a sign that you are a cat.
Monoma Neito (Phantom Thief) – No, Shinsou is not going to be allowed to sacrifice you to Cthulhu. That said, I suggest you avoid him, Kouda, and anyone else either of them have been seen with recently, just to be safe.
Moonfish – I don't know how you found out about Mineta's holiday thing, but he was lying. Get those off your head.
Muscular – If you continue to use your phone calls to try and taunt a five-year-old about murdering his parents, you will no longer be allowed to use the phone. I don't care how good he is at sassing you.
Mustard – You are perfectly justified in punching anyone who makes Nazi jokes about your Quirk. You are not justified in using said Quirk on those people.
Nishiya Shinji (Kamui Woods) – No, you may not only operate during nighttime. I don't care how many "morning wood" jokes are being made; you have a job to do.
Ojiro Mashirao (Tail Man) – Being the sanest person in your class is not an accomplishment. That's a low, low, low bar.
Rappa – You give someone flowers when you're asking them out on a date, not a fight. I recommend clearing the situation up before things get awkward. Er, more awkward.
Rin Hiryuu – While it is important to raise awareness for the mistakes of the past, please be less passive-aggressive about it. History class is becoming extremely uncomfortable for several students.
Satou Rikidou (Sugarman) – Whip cream is not an appropriate weapon, regardless of how effective it may be.
Sero Hanta (Cellophane) – Stop breaking into your classmates' rooms and mixing up all their socks. You are not the "sock goblin".
Shigaraki Tomura – Stop calling people "noobs". You're making people think you're much less of a threat than you really are. Seriously, there's greater concern that you'll insult someone on the X-box than actually kill people.
Shinsou Hitoshi – It may have been executed poorly, but Kouda was joking. Probably. In any case, stop trying to start a cult on campus. Cthulhu isn't real, and it doesn't want you sacrifice anyone. Also, "Mega Reverend" is not an actual thing.
Shiozaki Ibara (Maria) – While I don't doubt your intentions, your presentation on war crimes and their impact on modern society had slides that were far too graphic for the classroom (or anywhere else, really). Please apologize to your classmates.
Shiretoko Tomoko (Ragdoll) – You, All Might, and Toogata may form a club for people who lost their Quirks (or never had them to begin with) if you so choose. You may not use said club as an excuse to booby-trap areas that Pro Heroes frequent. You aren't "fighting the power", you're being passive-aggressively bitter pains in the rear. If you wish to set your targets on those who caused the loss of your Quirks, this is understandable, but may not be done by breaking into prison. Please find other, less illegal ways to express your irritation.
Shouji Mezou (Tentacole) – Take down the National Underpants Day posters. You are not "supporting a classmate's ingenuity"; you're being a deviant.
Shuuzenji Chiyo (Recovery Girl) – If you need to spread a general public health message, make an announcement. Do not, under any circumstances, nail deeply disturbing "consequences" signs in the halls. We do not need more traumatized students.
Sir Nighteye – "Don't get impaled", while technically not wrong, is generally not what heroes in training are hoping to hear when they ask for advice.
Snipe – Stop trying to convince students that you are secretly a video game character.
Sousaki Shino (Mandalay) – Do not encourage your nephew's poor decisions.
Takagi Ken (Rock Lock) – While being an actual father does indeed give you more expertise in the field of "being a dad", the fact remains that there is no such thing as the "Dad Squad", and therefore you are not the "Dad Squad God".
Takeyama Yuu (Mt. Lady) – Please stop posting dick jokes on Kamui Woods's social media accounts. You are not being subtle, nor is he fooled. He knows it's you. We all know it's you. Everyone knows it's you.
Tatsuma Ryuuko (Ryuukyuu) – You cannot sue someone for having the same first name as you. They're not even written the same way. Leave Pixie-bob alone.
Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu (Real Steel) – Do not tell people that you are "the hardest man alive". Do not tell people that Kirishima is, either.
Todoroki Enji (Endeavor) – I am fully convinced that you are know exactly how each and every one of those words is meant to be used. Stop pretending otherwise to annoy your sons.
Todoroki Fuyumi – If you are annoyed with your brothers using your things without asking, please talk it out with them. Do not teach your father modern slang to embarrass said brothers in public.
Todoroki Shouto (Shouto) – I understand that your father and sister have formed an unholy alliance. The proper response to this is to apologize for taking your sister's things, not using your mother as a shield. Please come out from beneath her bed. This applies to your brothers as well. None of you are residents of the hospital, and the staff is not obligated to put up with your shenanigans.
Toga Himiko – No, turning into me will not put you in charge of all the rules. That's not how it works. Please stop breaking into my office. You aren't going to bait me into a fight by stealing my food, and you aren't going to bait me into a trap with dog biscuits. I'm far too smart to fall for that, and I will get all the biscuits without activating any trap you may have thought up.
Tokage Setsuna – Do not name the robot velociraptor. Do not get attached to the robot velociraptor. And for goodness' sake, don't try to breed it.
Tokoyami Fumikage (Tsukuyomi) – The fact that a band you listen to said something does not make it true. You cannot actually set yourself on fire, and if you do you will most certainly "burn, burn, burn".
Toogata Mirio (Lemillion) – Stop breaking into Overhaul's cell and hiding dirty rags all over the place. He may deserve it, but breaking and entering is a crime. I don't care if certain ex-pros implied that it was okay; you should know better.
Toyomitsu Taishirou (Fat Gum) – You are not permitted to do cannonballs in a pool under any circumstances. Ever.
Tsuchikawa Ryuuko (Pixie-bob) – If you absolutely have to threaten a villain, keep it PG, especially if a child is nearby.
Tsunotori Pony – I understand that Monoma's tendency to tell you to say things you probably shouldn't be saying is annoying, but please be aware that returning the favor is not only immature, but also starting to affect his English grades.
Uraraka Ochako (Uravity) – Stop dabbing every time someone does something remotely impressive. You are not "Udabity". That's a bad joke even by your standards.
Uwabami – Stop telling people that you actually are Medusa. Halloween isn't for over a month, and this is Japan. If anyone takes you seriously and comes after you with a sword and a reflective shield, you have only yourself to blame.
Yagi Toshinori (All Might) – Ragdoll and Toogata are much younger than you and, while the former is officially an adult, both are easily influenced by you. Please communicate to them that breaking into a maximum-security prison to play "Carmelldansen" on repeat in All For One's cell is unacceptable behavior.
Yamada Hizashi (Present Mic) – I don't know why Fukidashi saw fit to give you access to that song, but stop playing it. There is literally a tear in the fabric of reality in my office. I do not want it there, especially given how often someone seems to break in. That said, it is a very catchy song.
Yanagi Reiko – You are not an anime character, and you cannot summon a manifestation of your spirit to "punch the shit out of things and yell". Stop insisting that "Stand Proud" be played every time you enter a room.
Yaoyorozu Momo (Creati) – If someone makes a poop joke concerning your Quirk, the proper response is to politely request that they desist and, if they don't, talk to a teacher or other faculty member. Do not pull a hammer out of your side and ask them how their kneecaps are doing.
AN: Chapter two is done! Go me! I don't have a whole lot to say right now, so I'll just make a list of certain things about certain characters that are, for the sake of this fic, certain.
Physically disabled characters: Bakugou, Hagakure, All Might, All For One, Tensei, and Fukidashi (debatably)
Mentally-ill/neurodivergent characters: Amajiki, Ashido, Bakugou, Fourth Kind, Twice, Asui, Hadou, Iida, Kouda, Midoriya, Shigaraki, Moonfish (probably), Toga, anyone with the surname Todoroki, Tsunotori, Uraraka, Present Mic, and Yanagi
Trans characters: Tiger, Magne, Bakugou, Fourth Kind, Fukidashi, No. 13, Blood King, Kuroiro, Shouda, and Power Loader
This probably isn't everyone; it's just what I've decided so far. Thank you all so much for reading, and please let me know what you think! Kitty out.