Author's Note:

I cannot express how grateful I am to LaylaEvercrest for her help with this chapter. The first draft was incredibly weak and I was pretty unsatisfied with it. Now however, I'm very happy with the final product. Also, thanks to StormyMonday as well for beta-reading :)

I can't thank everyone who reviewed enough. Shout outs to Ally Todd, kerrythabae, Powwo, Writer of Worlds, LaylaEvercrest and FaerieTales4ever for reviewing. Thank you to those of you I mentioned as well as Yadda Wadda BaddaBoom for favoriting/following.

Enjoy.

P.S. In case it isn't clear, any full line that is italicized, is a thought. Single words that are italicized are emphasized by the speaker, whether internally or in dialogue.

Declivity: a downward slope, as of ground.

Golden rays of sunshine filtered into Quistis' room, gently warming her face as they spilled onto her bed. The sound of chirping birds just outside the window gradually increased in volume, their musical conversations permeating her subconscious. The more she regained consciousness, the more her head pounded. Normally, she enjoyed nature, both spending time in it and appreciating the sounds of it. But after last night, the noise was irritating and she groaned, tugging her pillow over her head. As she laid there trying to fall back asleep, her stomach rolled and she clenched her muscles in response.

"Ughhh," she grumbled, her voice muffled due to her face being smashed up against the bedsheets.

Quistis tried to ignore her stomach's somersaults, but a wave of nausea hit and her mouth started to water. Swiftly, she rose and scrambled into the adjoining bathroom, barely kneeling in front of the toilet before the contents of her stomach came back up. After dry heaving for a few minutes, she straightened and wiped the back of her hand across her mouth. A disgusted sigh left her lips and she leaned back, resting her weight on her calves.

This is why she rarely drank; she hated being sick and losing control over her own body. The shrill ringing of an alarm blared throughout her dorm and she cringed at the piercing sound. Slowly, she rose to her feet, the feel of the cold bathroom tile causing her to break out in goosebumps. She padded back into the bedroom, relieved at the change from tile to plush carpet, as she picked up the phone on her nightstand.

6:00 AM. Back to the daily grind, she thought bitterly, a severe lack of enthusiasm saturating her thoughts.

She went through the motions of preparing for the day: she started off with a quick shower, avoiding washing her hair to save time, put her formal SeeD uniform on, and applied a light layer of makeup. Her hair went up in her trademark clip, so that the ends fanned out above her head. When she was finished, she looked into the mirror, inspecting her reflection. She grimaced at the sight of herself, with bloodshot eyes and major bags from a lack of a decent night's sleep.

Disgruntled, she turned away from the mirror and passed through her dorm, grabbing Save the Queen on her way out. She looped it around her belt hook, letting the door swish shut behind her.

The thought of being late forced Quistis to pick up the pace without appearing to be in a hurry. She hated being late, hated the way people stared at her as she was the last to enter the room. At that thought, her steps quickened and her boots tapped loudly on the tiled floor, as she rushed to the main area.

It's sad that I even know the trick to hurrying without actually hurrying. I need a life.

When she finally entered the lobby, the sound of multiple water fountains throughout such a confined area caused an amplified echo, and made it seem as if the entire room was a rippling pond. The center of the ceiling was a glass dome which allowed an abundance of natural light to fill the room, and the benches that lined the lobby were almost always packed with cadets who were looking for a place to relax. Normally, she also took the time to admire the view; however, today was a different story. The eager chatter of cadets and instructors alike surrounded Quistis as she made a beeline for the stairs that led to the elevator.

She clambered up the steps, glancing around nervously to see if anyone had witnessed her behavior, and repeatedly jabbed the button to call the elevator. In an attempt to remain poised, she crossed her arms over her chest, wrapping them around her tiny frame. Rather than tapping her foot, she chose to tap her finger against the backside of her arm. Finally, the elevator reached the lobby and the doors opened with a ding.

Quickly, she stepped in and pressed '3F', and the doors slid shut. Quistis closed her eyes, praying that the elevator would go straight to the third floor without interruption but of course, the world was against her, because it stopped at '2F'. An exasperated sigh escaped her as she opened her eyes, to see Squall standing on the other side of the door.

"Why aren't you in the Headmaster's office?" she questioned.

He'd been looking at a paper on top of the large stack he held tightly within his gloved hand, but when he heard Quistis' voice, he glanced up at her. After he stepped into the elevator and the doors shut once more, they began to travel up to the third floor.

"Had to pick up something from Instructor Williams," he replied, his voice subdued and monotone. As always, he avoided making excessive eye contact, which usually made Quistis feel like she was talking to a wall.

"Ah, I see."

"I'm surprised to see you on the elevator," Squall commented.

Quistis tilted her head at him, causing the blonde locks of hair that framed her face to sway to the right. "Why would that be surprising? I do use the elevator too," she said defensively.

"I know. It's just that you're usually upstairs by the time I arrive."

"Oh, right. Well, I'm running a little...late today," she muttered. It was one thing to be late but to have Squall notice? Embarrassed, she let the conversation end and silence filled the space once again.

After what felt like eons, the elevator finally reached the third floor. When the doors opened, Squall strode out, heading straight for the Headmaster's office without so much as a farewell. Quistis rolled her eyes at his aloof behavior. Some people never changed.

She headed for her desk, which was one of the two that flanked the double doors leading to the Headmaster's office. Xu, who sat across from her at the other desk, hadn't arrived yet and Quistis reached over to turn her computer on, sinking into her chair. As she waited for the machine to boot up, she placed her elbows on the desk and covered her face with her hands. The motion was partially to cover up the light streaming in from the picturesque window behind her, but mostly it was an attempt to make her headache go away.

If this is what a hangover feels like, I'm never drinking again.

While Quistis ruminated over the fact that her life had been reduced to drinking her sorrows away in a dive bar, the elevator mechanisms started whirring again and she glanced over to the doors, spotting Xu. Her friend stepped out of the elevator and headed her way. The carpet on the third floor was far nicer than anywhere else in Garden, and as Xu padded over to her desk, Quistis couldn't even hear her footsteps.

"Hey Quistis," the assistant headmaster called over to her friend as she sat down at her desk across the way.

Quistis cringed slightly at the sound of Xu's voice, and Xu raised an eyebrow questioningly at the older woman, her eyes wide. "Uh...are you...alright?"

The blonde shook her head in response, her chin propped up in her hands. The swaying motion made her nauseous again and she groaned quietly, causing Xu to raise an eyebrow at her.

"Quistis are you sick? If you don't feel well, why don't you go rest in your room for the day?"

"...I'm fine," she insisted.

"If you say so," Xu replied, as she sat down at her desk.

The rest of the day dragged on and by mid-afternoon, Quistis' headache had finally subsided. Large stacks of paperwork that had been flooding her inbox had dwindled down to approximately an inch in height, and she considered that a good place to stop. Shutting off her computer, she rose from her chair and grabbed a clipboard that needed to be taken to the Headmaster. The wooden, double doors creaked slightly when she pushed them open, confidently striding into the office. Squall and the Headmaster looked up at her when the sound of her footsteps interrupted their conversation and Cid straightened.

"Quistis, what is it?"

She held the clipboard out to the older man and he took it gently, his eyes scanning back and forth over the content. His eyebrows furrowed slightly as he passed it on to Squall, which caused Quistis to frown. Yes, Squall was the Commander of Garden, but that document had been for the Headmaster's eyes only. When she saw Squall's expression darken, she finally piped up.

"Headmaster, I need your signature on that form."

Squall's eyes quickly shot up to hers, his expression as hard as the metal his steel blue eyes resembled, and he handed the clipboard back to the Headmaster.

"Will you tell Xu that I need to speak to her?" Cid asked, as he scrawled his name across the line at the bottom.

"Of course, Headmaster," she acknowledged, taking the form from him.

"Quistis, you know you can call me Cid."

A small, exasperated sigh left Quistis' lips. "I know that, Headmaster. I'll tell Xu to come in."

The genuine smile on Cid's face fell slightly at her insistence but he nodded as Quistis turned and walked out of the office. As the doors shut behind her, she took the document out from under the clipboard's hinge, placing it in Xu's inbox. Her friend glanced up at her and Quistis said, "The Headmaster wants to see you."

"Why do you insist on calling him Headmaster and not Cid, like he wants you to?" Xu questioned.

"You heard that, huh?"

"Mmhm."

The blue mage crossed her arms and looked off to the side. "I guess...it helps me separate work from personal things. If I called him Cid all the time, I would be treating him like the father figure he thinks he is. By calling him Headmaster, it allows me to keep things compartmentalized," she explained.

"Do you need to compartmentalize everything, though?"

"...I don't really know," Quistis replied softly.

Perhaps Xu had a point. Cid had always been there for the six of them. Over the past decade, he'd aimed to be both a Headmaster and a father figure to them. What was the worst that could happen if Quistis let him in? Every orphan's fear was to be left behind, especially if they had multiple experiences with abandonment. That was by far, the top reason that Quistis was reticent to let her walls come down. Now, she understood why Squall had always pushed her away in the past, every time she'd nagged him to share his feelings.

Still, being the only one who ended up alone, when the rest of the group had found someone to share their lives with, left a bitter taste in Quistis' mouth. If she let Cid see who she really was underneath her guise of perfection, would it really be so bad? She couldn't help but wonder if, maybe it was time that she at least tried to let someone in.

A stack of papers thudded onto Quistis' desk and she gasped, as she jumped in her chair.

"Quistis. You've been working straight for a week. You need to get out, do something!" Xu insisted, her arms crossed.

"I enjoy working, you know that," Quistis said as she returned to staring at her computer screen. Who was she kidding? If she were an instructor again, then perhaps that would be true. But this type of menial work? She couldn't stand it. It was the type of work that made her thoughts drift a little too often, particularly to things she didn't want to think about.

The image of Seifer's face popped into her mind. Now that she was experiencing first hand what it was like to go through the motions of doing something you were entirely uninterested in, nor benefited you in the slightest, she could sympathize with him- maybe even understand him a little better. All those times he had to repeat the SeeD field exam because he hadn't been able to follow orders...perhaps it was because he was simply bored with the fact that it was the same thing, over and over again. It was repetitive because he was capable of far greater, which in turn, made him lash out and appear incompetent.

Xu's voice pulled her back into the present. "Oh please, Quistis. You enjoy working but not like this. You're pushing yourself way too hard. Even you need to take a break," her friend pushed.

"I don't need to take a break."

"...Ugh."

The sun was beginning to set, casting a dark, orange glow on the furniture in the room. Deep shadows extended beyond the edges of Quistis' desk, along with the other objects in the room, making it seem later in the day than it actually was. The warmth from the last rays of the sun caressed her neck, causing her to feel lazy and far more comfortable than she should be at the moment; she still had a large pile of work to get through before she could call it quits for the night.

The doors to the Headmaster's office quickly shot open and Xu scampered out, her arms filled with paperwork. She rushed around the corner of her own desk, setting the papers down rapidly, causing them to scatter across the surface. A short sigh left her lips and she tried to sweep them back up into an organized pile and Quistis stood and walked over to her friend's desk.

Quietly, the blonde tried to help Xu, who was obviously in quite a rush. When the papers were neatly stacked again, Xu brushed a stray lock of her brown, shoulder-length hair behind her ear.

"Thanks, Quistis."

"You're welcome. Where are you off to in such a hurry?" she asked.

"I have a hot date," Xu replied, her eyebrow raised suggestively.

"Oh. With whom?"

"Nida."

"...Nida? Wait, our Nida?"

"How many Nidas do you know?" Xu joked.

"Uh, I guess just the one. Nida, though? Seriously?"

Xu crossed her arms defensively. "What's wrong with Nida?"

"Nothing's wrong with him, I'm just...surprised. It didn't seem like the two of you spoke much."

"We don't. He asked me out yesterday, when I went into Cid's office to have some paperwork signed. Nida was getting ready to head up to the control deck. He's cute, so I figured why not?"

"I wish I could be as spontaneous as you," Quistis mused.

"Well you can. You just turn down every guy that asks you out."

"The only people who ask me out are Trepies, Xu."

"What's wrong with them?"

"Are you kidding? I don't want to date someone who's in my fan club," Quistis said, her tone dry in disbelief.

"Well at least they're guaranteed to love you."

"That's so not right," she muttered, as her friend laughed behind her hand.

When Xu turned and grabbed her bag, Quistis wandered back to her desk and started to sit down, until Xu hurried back over to her. She froze, her body poised above her chair, and looked up at her friend questioningly.

"Quistis, just come with us."

"I'm sorry?"

"I'm sure Nida wouldn't mind. We'll find someone else to bring, and it'll be a double date!"

"Uh, that sounds...like a terrible idea," Quistis said quietly, shaking her head. One, she didn't want to be the third wheel. Two, if Xu did manage to find someone to pair up with Quistis, Hyne knew it would probably be a Trepie and honestly, she just didn't want to deal with that. They'd fawn over her the entire night and claim that she was the ideal woman-'everything I've ever dreamed about!'- when she was far from perfect.

"Come on! You've been holed up in your room and this office for the past couple of weeks! You obviously didn't take my advice last week when I told you to unwind."

"I don't want to go on an impromptu date, Xu. I'd rather be able to prepare and I don't know, go out with someone I'm interested in."

"Fine. Suit yourself. But I will get you out of this office, if it's the last thing I do," Xu threatened in a low voice.

Quistis waved her hand in dismissal, and her fingers quickly flew across the keyboard once again. Xu huffed in annoyance as she left, the elevator whirring loudly as it returned to the first floor. A few minutes passed as Quistis tried to concentrate on the rest of her work, but eventually, she realized it was pointless. Xu's comment had stuck and she sighed in frustration as she shut off her computer for the night.

Slowly, she stood and trudged over to the elevator as well. Lost in her thoughts, she was barely aware of her surroundings as she traveled through the peaceful lobby to her dorm at the far end of the hall.

Even Xu had regular interaction with the opposite sex. Granted, Xu had always been very aggressive in her intentions. If someone were to look up the definition of 'assertive female' in the dictionary, a picture of Xu would be there. Quistis couldn't exactly fault her friend in that aspect. While she herself could also be considered assertive, it was in a different way. Quistis always knew what the end goal would be, in any situation; become an Instructor, concentrate on being the best SeeD she could be, protect the world, save the world, rebuild. Now however, she just couldn't seem to find the guts to take the final step to achieve what she really wanted.

After she walked into her dorm's living area, the door silently slid shut behind her, trapping her in darkness. She sunk down onto the soft cushions and pulled her boots off, annoyed at how snugly they fit. Normally she appreciated the way they hugged her calves like a second skin, but at this moment in time, she just wanted everything off.

When the heavy soles finally thudded onto the carpeted floor, she rose and traipsed into her bedroom, flipping the light on and shedding her SeeD uniform. After pulling on a pair of black leggings and a salmon-pink sheer tank top, she crouched in front of her closet and pulled a cardboard box out, cringing slightly at the way its base scratched roughly against the carpet. She opened the top and stared at the contents: a photo album of her time with the Trepes, an old, nearly crumbled flower from the field behind the orphanage, and her original weapon, the Chain Whip. She'd kept it as a memento, even though she currently used her Save the Queen whip.

She kept the box as a reminder of who she'd been in the beginning, so that she could compare it to how far she'd come. With yet another sigh, she rose again and swiftly padded over to where she'd left her uniform crumpled on the floor near the bedroom door. In her right pocket was a crumpled piece of paper. She gently pulled it out and returned to the box, folding her legs underneath her so that her thighs rested on her calves. The paper had seen better days; it had been folded and unfolded multiple times, causing the edges to become soft and worn.

Gingerly, she unfolded it for what felt like the hundredth time. With her eyebrows furrowed and her azure eyes dark with sorrow, she gazed down at the piece of paper in her hand. Slowly, she traced her fingertip along the lines that ran horizontally across it.

Name: Quistis Trepe.

Birthdate: October 4th.

Occupation: SeeD, rank A.

Position that you are applying for: Instructor.

Have you had prior experience? Yes.

At the memory of losing the one thing she'd been passionate about, she closed her eyes tightly, as her fingers curled around the paper in her hand. She'd loved being an instructor, loved making a difference in young cadets' lives. Other instructors hated grading papers, making lesson plans...but Quistis had revelled in all of the mundane tasks that had come with the job.

Until Seifer.

The mental image of the blonde gunbladist flashing through her mind, sent a fresh wave of bitterness rolling through Quistis and her lip curled up in distaste. When he'd been placed in her class, every day had been an extreme challenge. He had tested her patience at every turn and made her question whether she was truly cut out for the job. Apparently, Garden faculty under NORG had picked up on her lack of experience and stripped her of her position. Now that she could reflect on it clearly, she knew that it wasn't just Seifer's fault that she'd lost her license-he was just the catalyst. Still though, he worked well as a scapegoat for her anger, so that's what she'd continue to use him for.

It just wasn't fair. Out of all of them, Seifer was the one she was most envious of. Regardless of the fact that he'd nearly destroyed the world and that everyone on the planet despised him, he always had Fujin and Raijin. Their undying loyalty to the man was beyond natural. Why, after everything that Seifer had done, was he the one who had what Quistis desired most?

With what felt like the upteenth sigh of the day, Quistis hesitantly placed the application inside her box of memories, her fingers lingering on it. In a brash moment of decisiveness, she clumsily closed the top, and shoved it back into the dark depths of her closet. She hastily slid the closet door shut and rested her forehead against it. A shaky breath escaped from her, and her eyes firmly closed once more.

A single tear escaped from underneath her eyelashes as she sat there in her bedroom, for yet another night alone.

A/N: Seriously though, I live for reviews!