Chapter 2

(in which there's enough education even for Hibari)

-/-

"Eh? What, now? You really want to do it now?"

"Certianly." Hibari couldn't see what was so hard to understand about his wish to fight that everyone got freaked out as soon as the subject was mentioned. It annoyed him. "Now is the perfect moment to put an end to our argument. No one is around to interfere."

The look of painful concentration on Dino's face showed very clearly that the cogs and wheels in his head were spinning and turning furiously, trying to process the request. After a long moment of suspense, the system arrived at the conclusion that it didn't have enough resources and gave up.

"You can't be serious, Kyouya. We can't fight, not here and now."

"Why is that?" Hibari had to make a conscious effort to quell his irritation. He knew it was better to equip himself with patience, seeing how it was beyond Dino to take the fastest route to the right decision from the start – he always had to wander about in circles first; but with the Reborn fiasco still fresh in his memory, Hibari was finding it hard to put up with any more ridiculous antics.

"Well, for one thing, I have work to do..."

"Work? You?" Hibari didn't even bother to hide his contempt at the notion.

"You say it like you think I'm useless."

"Then fight and prove me wrong," said Hibari irritably, snapping out his tonfa.

He had noticed the lack of surprise in Dino's voice, and he didn't sound hurt or resentful either. If anything, he appeared to be rather amused.

The smug herbivore was having fun. And at Hibari's expense, no less.

Hibari knew better than to engage in a discussion regarding the hypothetical usefulness of Dino Cavallone though. It was an idea with no future, and the reasons were many. First of all, Hibari wasn't exactly one for words, nor did he consider it a flaw, being conviced as he was that talking was a pointless activity unworthy of a serious individual. Besides, it was impossible to outclass Dino in the lowly art of verbal communication. He talked faster than he thought, was completely incapable of sticking to the same topic for longer than a minute, looped back and forth and contradicted himself every five seconds and, worst of all, harboured a misplaced belief that he was good at metaphors. From his own bitter experience, Hibari could recall that once he allowed the conversation to veer away from the subject, it'd never get back on track, and he'd drown in a sea of empty words and vague theoretic assumptions.

He stayed silent.

"In case you've forgotten," said Dino hopefully, "I'm currently employed as an English teacher in Namimori Middle School."

Hibari knew that, of course, although he had his doubts about the quality of this so-called teaching. Anyway, he couldn't see what it had to do with Dino's refusal to fight.

"Students expect me to attend my own lessons. And correct their mistskes, and give them back their homework."

Hibari graciously refrained from pointing out that so far, the students seemed to spend more time picking Dino up from the floor after he tripped over his own feet than studying grammar.

"Wouldn't it disrupt the discipline if you left the kids without a teacher when the exams are coming? And here I thought you cared for the school, Kyouya." There was a ghost of a mocking smile tugging at the corners of his lips now.

Hibari scoffed. Even the herbivore couldn't possibly believe he would fall such a cheap trick.

"So you admit you'd lose to me if we were to fight?"

"Look, Kyouya, I don't see why we have to fight at all. We're hardly enemies, whatever you may think of me." Suddenly, Dino no longer seemed amused. Instead, a tired, borderline desperate expression spread across his features, making him look, if only momentarily, as if he were ten years older and much less stupid and harmless. To Hibari, it was an oddly familiar sight, an expression out of a memory of a dream; of a future that had been irrevocably erased and would never come to pass now.

He was almost taken back. Almost. But he recovered quickly.

"I fight when I want to," he replied calmly, bringing up a tonfa. "I decide that myself."

"Yeah, I remember. I've been meaning to talk to you about that, you know."

"You talk too much."

"Only because I'm still waiting for a proper answer," Dino shot back.

"Well, what else is there to talk about?"

"It would be nice if you explained why you had to do it, for starters."

Hibari sighed. He had always known that most people were not exactly bright, but some, like Dino, at least gave the impression of being marginally capable of coherent thinking. It was annoying that even that was apparently nothing more than a misconception. What was the point of repeating the same stupid question again and again?

"I have already explained it twice – I fight when I choose to fight and who I choose to fight. I'm not going to blindly follow any ridiculous rules if they become an inconvinience. I don't even know who is that guy who invented them and this whole game, and you don't either. The rest of you herbivores can obey if you like, but I won't."

"But we're not obeying the rules because we enjoy it, Kyouya. It's because we all want to help lift the curse of the Arcobaleno."

"I'm not an Arcobaleno." Hibari shrugged dismissively. "The curse is not my problem."

"Sure, but... " Dino hesitated briefly, as if wanting to say something and then deciding against it. He rubbed his right hand across his face, and because he had been holding a pen in that hand, a great big smudge of ink appeared on his forehead. "What about you agreement with Fong?"

"What about it?" Hibari eyed the smudge but said nothing. It was none of his business.

"Well, you broke your promise, didn't you?"

"It wasn't a promise. I agreed to fight for him because he said he'd fight me once the curse was dispelled."

"Yes, I heard that." Dino still appeared to be struggling with the concept for some reason. "What made you change your mind?"

Hibari wondered if the guy was pretending to be an idiot on purpose.

"I wanted to bite to death the orangutan from the Varia," he replied with annoyance.

"The oran– oh, you mean Xanxus."

"Yes. And he wanted to fight too." For once, Hibari thought with some bitterness but didn't say. He was aware that Xanxus, while very fond of fighting if he was in the appropriate mood, still liked sleeping much better. It was impossible to say if another chance like that would present itself. "You lot shouldn't have interfered." He added in an accusatory tone. He had a score to settle with Xanxus, dating back to the Ring Conflict, and he wasn't going to forget it in a hurry.

Actually, maybe he should have another go, while the Varia were still crowding in the Namimori Hotel? They wouldn't stay forever – which was a good thing because no one wanted them around – but once they boarded the plane back to Italy, off would go his chance to finally bite Xanxus to death.

"You have to stop being so reckless, Kyouya." Dino's voice cut through Hibari meditations and produced the most unpleasant effect.

"Reckless?"

"You didn't really expect me to stand aside and watch you get killed?"

Hibari's eyes narrowed. This tone, full of patient weariness, like that of a mother talking to a naughty child, was the thing he hated the most in Dino.

"Killed? Me?"

"Come on, Kyouya." Dino scratched his cheek tiredly and smeared more ink across his face. "I know you don't want to hear this, but it's true. Xanxus would have defeated you if the time hadn't run out."

"Says the guy who runs from every threat," Hibari snapped, now getting seriously angry.

Deep down, he admitted that he had underestimated the Varia's chimpanzee, weird though it might seem. He had mistaken Xanxus' laziness and apathy for a lack of strength. It wasn't a mistake he commited often, and he knew it might have cost him a lot, and it rankled; but it didn't mean Dino, of all people, was allowed to lecture him on the subject. Definitely not Dino. The herbivore whose response to any danger was to try and talk his way out of it had to shut up. He had no right.

Unfortunately, Dino wasn't inclined to stay quiet. He had already assumed the hateful it's-for-your-own-good disposition.

"I understand that you'd like to eh, bite to death, as you so eloquently put it, as many people as possible," he said. "But you can't fight everything and everyone, and sometimes you're going to meet someone stronger than you. Don't glare at me like that, I'm only telling the truth... Just because you don't care whether your opponents live or die as long as they're defeated doesn't mean everyone else thinks the same way."

"What are you getting at?" asked Hibari impatiently.

"If I hadn't interfered, Xanxus would have shot your head off, that's what." Oddly enough, Dino now seemed angry as well, which was puzzling because he, in Hibari's opinion, had no reason whatsoever to be displeased. He hadn't had his long-awaited battle interrupted. "You fight because you like fighting, Kyouya, but Xanxus only fights to win. That's just how he is and that's why he fights dirty and kills easily."

"I can already see that you're afraid of the orangutan and his scary black guns." Hibari allowed himself a moment of smug mockery. "But I don't care about all that. You can save your breath and keep the rest of your lecture for your underlings. I will choose my opponents myself. If I decide to fight the monkey again, I will."

There was a pause. It stretched and stretched, and Dino was looking at Hibari with a mixed expression of bewilderment, irritation and... pity? Hibari's insides churned. He hated being pitied.

Then, at the moment when the silence was beginning to get almost unbearable, Dino spoke.

"You never listen, do you? You never listen to anyone." He looked more like he was talking to himself, rather than Hibari. "It's not about your fight with Xanxus, it's about... "Another pause followed; a much shorter one; and then Dino snapped. "Well, it's about me not wanting to bury my pupil! I'm allergic to funerals! Are you going to fight the Vindice too, all alone because you hate crowding? Do you maybe think you can kick their asses, all by yourself?"

Hibari said nothing. He had been pondering the situation with the Vindice, true, and had been mildly disappointed they hadn't bothered to visit him, but even he had discarded the idea of seeking the fight himself after a short while. Of course if they attacked him first, he would think twice about it, but not the other way round. At least not yet.

Still, discussing the Vindice wasn't why he'd come looking for Dino. He'd come because he had intended to bully the guy into fighting, but now he was no longer in the mood. The air in the room was heavy with the words that remained unsaid and the many insults they had both been ready to fling at each other's faces, but stopped at the last moment. Hibari hated it and blamed it all on Dino – only the herbivore was capable of spoiling everything with a couple of words and making it appear like he was a saint who worried himself sick about other people's safety. And Hibari didn't want to be fussed over. It was humiliating.

Besides, Dino now looked too ridiculous to take him seriously.

Hibari watched him realize that he was all dirty and covered with ink and go red in the face – well, in what was visible of his face, anyway. He tried to wipe his hands clean on something and, since there was nothing that might serve the purpose nearby, ended up using his own pants as a towel, with the obvious result. He cursed in Italian – a string of rhythmic sounds that Hibari, who patriotically believed Japanese was enough for anyone, didn't understand. He started to look around and knocked a glass of water off the table.

"Oh shit!" Dino exclaimed as the glass hit the floor and shattered. "What's up with me today, I keep breaking things and falling on my face... Eh, Kyouya?"

Hibari had already turned on his heel and began to walk away. Even discounting the previous conversation, he could never make himself fight someone so pathetic. It would be way too degrading. It didn't mean he had given up on his plan to bite the Cavallone boss to death, but it would have to wait. Maybe next time he would first make sure there were enough of Dino's underlings loitering around. They would be crowding, sure, but the herbivore's motor functions would improve. He'd have to mull over the possibilities again; perhaps in the evening.

But for now, there were others who wouldn't waste his time talking. He'd better deal with them first.

N/A: Hibari just has no luck, the poor guy.:) There'll be another chapter.

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