(For disclaimer, refer to Chapter 1. Hello again! As always, thank you for taking your time to read my ideas, and enjoy!)
Chapter 2: Happy Sailing
Paradise. The amount of relief that the nine mercenaries were soaking in was unmeasurable. Each man was enjoying himself to the fullest extent possible, having spent an excruciatingly long amount of time sitting around in the arid gravel filled lands. Luxury was a word they had not known the definition of until now.
On the top of the deck, a large swimming pool was present, with many chairs, umbrellas, and more pool accessories that astonished them. Engineer lay back in a chair, enjoying the sun that didn't force him into creating a river of sweat. With a beer in hand, he sighed happily while watching the young women play around in the water. He tried his hardest not to appear creepy, but his eyes were glued. Besides Miss Pauling and the scratchy voice he heard on the intercom during duty, he hadn't seen or heard a woman in ages. Suddenly, his focus was broken as Scout plopped into the chair next to him.
"Heya' Engie."
"Hello." he responded, waiting for the train of annoyance to crash into him.
"Y'know, this is great. Comfortable pampering, beautiful girls, free stuff, no worry of gettin' shot, and food that actually tastes good besides the occasional sammich that Heavy neva' shares." Scout said, laying back as well, seeming more tranquil then he ever has.
The Engineer was surprised that Scout didn't implement a single rude comment into his sentence. "I reckon you're right. This is quite nice. Not a worry to be seen." he said, also surprised that Scout was calm for the first time in his life.
"Yeah," he began, waving at Demoman who was floating around on an inflated chair in the middle of the pool, "yo Demo how's the water?"
"Aye, it's 'mazin', best day of ma' life!" Demoman called back, raising one of his many bottles that accompanied him on his floatation device. Engineer smiled to himself, mentally agreeing with the alcoholic bomber. "Ya' know boy, you ain't to bad when yer' not hyped up on them sodas you kiddos overdose on." Engineer stated, taking a sip from his own beer.
"Ya' right Engie, without guns n' stuff shootin' us, we're like buddies or somethin'," Scout began saying before his eyes gazed at the other end of the swimming pool, seeing a group of young girls in bikinis splashing water at each other, "hot chicks twelve' a clock gotta run! Good talk Engie!" he joyfully yelled, throwing off his shirt and diving into the pool towards the direction of the young girls.
"Heh, kids these days." Engineer said to himself, thinking back to when he was as young as the Scout. "That boy sure is different. Much different. Well he's a young one, so maybe him havin' to kill on a constant basis is messin' with 'em. Someone his age needs more breaks like this," Engineer thought to himself, watching Scout splash waves at the girls, who surprisingly didn't scold him, rather let him join in, "hell, we all need more breaks like these." he mentally finished his statement, taking another sip from his beer and closing his eyes to take a much needed nap.
Sniper leaned on the railing at the starboard of the ship, quietly watching the ocean waves roll on by. He pulled out his rifle scope, having earlier removed it from his primary weapon so he could spot something far away if he needed. It felt natural for him to look through the scope, sometimes amusing himself by aiming the crosshairs over the heads of unsuspecting people and pretending to shoot them from afar.
He looked out into the distance with his scope, and after a minute of silent surveying, he saw a pod of dolphins leaping in and out of the water energetically. "Nothin' but homo sharks, those loud things." he mumbled, giving himself a quick laugh at is own statement. He often spent time alone when he got the chance, and he liked it that way. Even though he knew he threw out the most insulting and vulgar words out on the field, he was usually silent whenever he wasn't killing, and found his obnoxiously loud colleagues annoying when he wanted to be alone, and sometimes they would even follow him just to bug him. The only person who was quiet around him was Spy, but they weren't friends at all. Sniper disrespected the Spy, finding him to be a cowardly snake who spent too much time hiding. Besides, the Spy consistently insulted him about how he lives in a camper.
He continued watching the ocean with his piece of equipment, enjoying what he was doing unlike most people would. As a marksmen, he had a lot of time to look at things with his scope, and with that came a very observant vision. During his assignments, he normally saw rocks, dirt, gravel, wood, and his RED enemies. It bored him, and now being able to watch a different scenario that wasn't a scorching desert, he watched the ocean silently in happiness. He could tell the difference between each wave, the wind patterns, the shades of blue, how each dolphin interacted with another, and any overall detail in the ocean. He liked observing, and this was much better for him than staring at rocks that always stayed the same.
"Might you be whale watching?" a woman's voice curiously asked to the left of him, bringing surprise but not enough for him to show. He turned to the woman, who was wearing a black dress and high heels, with equally black hair to match.
"Jus' observing the water ma'am." he said in a polite and casual tone.
"Find anything of interest?"
"A few dolphins in the distance."
"May I have a look with what you have there?"
"I guess. Be careful with it."
Sniper handed her the scope, being extremely cautious not to drop it, and subtly letting her know to be as well. She held the item, looking at it from every angle, then looked through the scope for a few seconds before returning it, as if she was some kind of pawn star inspecting an item of value. "A nice view this is. If you'll excuse me I must attend to something of importance. Thank you again." she said with a small smile before walking away. Sniper gave a nod back, thinking the situation was a bit awkward. He began to check if she had left any marks on the scope when he heard footsteps, though nobody was there to be seen.
"Creeping about jus' like normal ya' spook?" he said to nothing in particular before the Spy appeared from thin air next to him.
"And I see you are spending your time alone, being a painfully dull and boring man as per usual." the Spy responded.
"I take it you were stalking the woman who passed like the creep you are?"
"Such a word is unfitting, calling the most well dressed man aboard the ship a creep. However, I do find belle femme to be quite enticing. Pardon me, but I have an objective." the Spy said before returning to his invisible state to depart.
The Sniper shook his head, then put away his scope before going back to the interior of the ship to return to his own room. Venturing down the hallway, he saw a door open, and his curiosity got the better of him. Inside the room, multiple candles were set up, with a small puddle of blood on the floor, with a giggling Pryo rolling around in the mess. This disturbed Sniper, even more so the fact that Pyro had stopped giggling and slowly turned towards him and gave the most intimidating stare he had ever received.
"I saw nothing mate." Sniper nervously said, closing the door then walking away. He went into his own room, then closed the doors, making sure to lock them out of paranoia. He then proceeded to grab one of the newspapers he had taken earlier, lay down in his bed, and began reading. However interesting the articles he was reading were, he couldn't shake off the seemingly random events he found himself within in the past twenty-four hours, thinking about what he saw from Soldier and Pyro. He really needed to stop looking though doors.
Soldier intently stared at his sloppily made drawings on the wall of his room. "Okay, I must think clear and fast. This trip must be a ruse to kill us all, but by who? The Nazis? The Communists? The Illuminati? RED? Or maybe... just maybe... all of them combined!" he thought to himself, deep in focus, trying to unravel the vacation that seemed to be the biggest mystery of his life. He looked back and forth from the picture of John Adams and the swastika pictures on the wall. "Ol' Johnny helped make the country, but maybe he was a part of the New World Order? Who knows, he could have been an early Nazi for all I know. I need facts now. The Nazis... were from Germany! I have information to find!" he mentally concluded, stomping out of his doorway towards the Medic's room.
"Doc open up! This is of dire importance!" he yelled, banging his fist on the door. He received no response. "You will open this door RIGHT NOW." he shouted, once again hearing nothing from the doctor's room. He growled, and kicked the door down, obliterating it's hinges. Stomping his feet into the room, he turned towards the bed inside, and saw Medic sleeping with his medi gun next to him, with the blue stream of light exiting the barrel and flowing into him, creating the ultimate comfort.
Soldier walked over to the sleeping man, gently put his hands on the shoulders, and began violently shaking him. "DOCTOR THIS IS IMPORTANT! I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ABOUT THE INNERWORKINGS OF THE NAZI PARTY SO I CAN COMPLETE MY MISSION!" he shouted, instantly waking the doctor up, causing him to scream in surprise.
"Dummkopf, remove yourself from me!" Medic shouted, pushing Soldier away in anger, "vhat do you vhant!?"
"Alright doc, this is important, so listen closely. I need you to tell me everything you know about the Nazis, since you're from Germany and would know much more than me."
The Medic's eye twitched in agitation. "DUMMKOPF, FOR ZHE LAST TIME, I AM NOT A NAZI, GET OUT!" he screamed angrily, grabbing Soldier by the collar.
"But doc I-"
"BEGONE!"
Soldier was thrown out of the room, landing on his rear as Medic picked up the unhinged door from the floor and jammed it back into the door frame. "Rats, I was getting somewhere, but where to go now?" he began thinking of who else he could get answers from. "I think Russia had something to do with the second world war..."
Soldier stood up and walked over to Heavy's room, opening the door without even bothering to knock. The room was completely empty, so he roamed about the different locations of the ship, searching for the giant. Eventually, he found Heavy embracing his minigun on the port side of the ship next to the railing. Soldier was about to ask him a question when suddenly a janitor spotted Heavy's weapon from only a few meters away. "U-Um sir, I don't think you're supposed to um... have that... aboard..." the man nervously stated. Heavy turned around, gently placing 'Sasha' down and walked over to the man. "Nobody takes Sasha away. Nobody."
Heavy then proceeded to grab the man by the arms, and held the janitor off of the edge ready to let him plummet to the ocean. "Wait!" Soldier yelled, running over to the scene. Heavy kept the man suspended by his wrists as Soldier began questioning him, "You! What do you know about the Nazis?"
"Wh-what kind of question is that?"
"He isn't complying." Soldier said in monotone, staring at the dangling and terrified janitor as Heavy began to shake him.
"Wait! They uh, made the holocaust! Uh, killed a lot of people!"
"Continue."
"Uh, I think they originated in Germany and were a part of the Axis powers during World War Two."
"You have been a great deal helpful son, thank you." Soldier said before he turned around and began walking away. "You're welcome?" the janitor said, highly confused before looking back at to Heavy, "so uh, can you let me go? Please?"
"Yes." Heavy whispered as he dropped the fearful man, watching as he fell down the long fall into the water below, "now Sasha, where were we?"
Soldier paced back and forth at the bow of the ship in deep thought. He wasn't getting anywhere. He cursed at himself, thinking that he was a master in the field of getting answers. His moment of thinking was taken out of focus when he heard the voice of a woman next to him.
"You know, I love a man in uniform."
Soldier looked to his left, and saw a woman who had curly blond hair and a purple sparkling dress. "Affirmative. I always bear the proper attire of a true warrior." he replied to the woman.
"You seem troubled. Care to tell me?"
"If you insist on knowing, I have been searching for something ever since I got on this damn boat. No matter how hard I try, I cannot get what I need in order to achieve my goal."
"I think I know what you're looking for. I can help." she said in a seductive tone, inching her way closer to Soldier.
"You can?" he asked, surprised.
"With anything, baby."
"That's great! Quick, come with me, I know how you can help!" he excitingly exclaimed, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her with him as he began running towards his room.
"Oh, you're feisty! I love it!"
Soldier pulled her with him until he reached his room, and quickly brought her inside. "You seem eager." the woman said, giggling while beginning to take her dress off as Soldier rummaged through his closet until he pulled out a uniform that looked exactly like his own.
"Here, put this on."
"What...?"
The moon shone as Spy stopped for a moment to pull out a cigarette to replace the one he had just discarded. The belle femme he saw caught his fancy, so he silently followed her around the ship, observing her appearance and demeanor so he would know exactly what to say to charm her. He took a quick break from the following to think about the trip, which was what he was doing before he saw the elegantly beautiful woman. "Ah, such an attractive woman in such a place. Now onto the more important question, what is the true purpose of this vacation? That old disgusting hag of a woman behind that desk would never give us free time to enjoy ourselves. My idiotic colleagues think otherwise, save for Medic. Many different possibilities could occur at any moment. Are the mercenaries of RED preparing an ambush? Did authorities learn of our existence and prepare a plan to arrest us? Who knows, it could be anything. In any case, I can manage to get myself out of either situation unscathed. Now, back to ogling belle femme."
After his moment of thinking, he quickly left to find the woman once again. He found her quite swiftly, at the bow of the ship, letting the breeze flow through her long black hair. Spy smirked, straitening his tie as he walked to her, deciding to finally make her swoon before him.
"A beautiful night, is it not?"
She turned to him, giving a smile. "I agree. The stars compliment the night sky quite nicely."
"Though the stars above shine with elegance, they cannot compare to the natural beauty that you have, my belle femme." he said, giving her the best charming face he could.
"Oh my," she blushed, looking down at the floor.
Spy lifted her chin towards him. "My lady, you are the definition of pure elegance. Please, allow me to teach you the ways of romance." he said, kissing her hand.
"I-I'm flattered... I accept your handsome offer. Maybe, a kiss perhaps?" she said with an extremely red face.
"Of course Ma Cherie, anything for someone of such a beauty as yours."
"Well, I'm quite nervous, could we have our eyes closed?"
"As you wish, your highness." Spy said, closing his eyes and leaning in. After a small moment of feeling nothing, he opened his eyes and stopped dead in his tracks. Aimed at his forehead was the barrel of a pistol in the hands of the woman, who was smiling at him. "You are now under the obligation to remain silent and comply with the law enforcement of the Agency's orders under the motion of arrest or face higher charges."
Spy gritted his teeth in anger, "You can deceive as much as you are beautiful." he said without a smile, and stepped back. Upon doing so, he saw that behind him were what looked like militarized police officers, three of them who had assault rifles aimed directly at him. He quickly swept the woman off her feet, kicked away her handgun, and held her in a position as a hostage, with his own revolver he removed from his suit aimed at her head.
"You all know how this works. Drop the weapons or she faces death." Spy loudly stated as he heard the sounds of rotary whirs behind him. As he looked in said direction, a blue helicopter with two gatling guns attached to each side was facing him, seemingly ready to mow him down. "What the he-" he began mumbling before the woman he was holding kicked her foot backwards, sending the full force of a high heel into his groin.
Spy recoiled in pain as she pushed him off and ran to the officers with their weapons still aimed. She had kicked with all of her force, and as a man, this brought an excruciatingly high amount of pain. As he looked up, his gaze was met with the stock of an assault rifle smashing into his nose, knocking him out unconscious.