Chapter 2: Infancy

Confusion was a big factor in my first few hours of my life before it was followed by disbelief.

It wasn't until I cried myself into a state of nears exhaustion that rationality decided to kick in. I began making a mental checklist – a habit I had far before my death.

What did I know?

1. I had died. The memory was slightly fuzzy and the length of time between then and now was unclear. But Lillian Blake – war nurse, barmaid, and wife – was dead. Death never did care about the identity of its victims. It was the one thing that made all living beings equal, I suppose.

To die. That was what we all live for

2. I was also alive. Again? But the difference was much more obvious; this new body was squishy and soft and my eyesight couldn't be worse; I was unable to observe anything besides shapes and colours. Mobility wise, I was useless – especially now that I was swaddled in a thick, woolly blanket.

Was this a second chance? Or a personal hell?

Many dying soldiers had discussed where they would go after their deaths (and then made a joke out of it). Some believed in Christianity like most people, others who had travelled mentioned about a circle and Buddhism.

Reincarnation. That was what they had called it

Were they right?

How morbid

The most important question was if this was how it worked. Was it just an endless circle of life and death?

Have everything we learnt about God been a lie?

(it certainly opens lot of philosophic discussions)

Perhaps I will die an old woman in this life

And if not, there was always a next life waiting for me

Elena. Elena Hale

Elena Hale

That was my new name

From what I gathered my new parents must have been wanting me desperately because I was never on the crib – always on somebody's arms.

I was unable to really think of them as my parents: I had a beautiful mother who had done everything to ensure mine and my sibling's safety and a father, who though strict and harsh, had apologised on his deathbed for his wrong doings- whether out of true regret or fear of death – that, I did not know.

However, it would be a lie to say I haven't grown fond of them. The woman who was my supposedly mother had a very pretty voice and she would constantly sing, while my new father had a soft touch and would always read me bedtimes story instead of allowing his wife to constantly swing me back and forth. I liked that – it prevented me from throwing up and it kept me distracted.

The first fight between my new parents was when my new grandmother had come to see.

Even if I die now, I will never forget her face; old with wrinkles but once her eyes met mine she almost dropped me.

Black

Completely black

I was unsure whether to keep believing in God – given my circumstances – but no longer will I deny the existence of demons.

The woman turned to my parent and said something, which I could not hear since she had settled me back to my crib.

Whatever it was, it made the couple argue and my new mother would sometimes stare at me for countless hours to the point that it had started becoming a bit disturbing.

Things only worsened when few months later she brought a priest

The first time I met John Lowe was when we turned five. Or John turned five – I was going to be thirty one. With our fathers being colleagues, the two police officers had come up with the great idea to share a party for us since apparently, we had birthday on the same day.

Keeping up appearances for the sake of normalcy was difficult; it was hard not to speak early or not to learn early, which was why I was thought to be some bright prodigy.

My mother didn't seem to believe it, whatever my… grandmother was telling her was making her distant and cold. She refused to feed me or clothe me and sometimes she couldn't stand the sight of me.

My father was often furious with her and would always threaten her with divorce if she did not behave.

I couldn't blame the poor woman for her behaviour for I knew what was going on.

She knew

I don't know if that woman saw a message on my forehead but somehow she knew I did not truly belong here.

Alone, the woman who gave birth to me would occasionally yell and scream at me to 'get out of her daughter's body'

She had quietened a bit after few visits to her psychiatric but I didn't believe she had given up.

I knew I wouldn't

Nevertheless, I couldn't allow any mistakes, I had to blend it, so when my father told me about the party I pretended to be happy and blubbered about the presents I would want.

John Lowe was a nitwit

Yes, I'm aware that he's five but what kind of child jumps into the swimming pool when he cannot swim?

Remember what I mentioned about keeping quiet for the sake of normalcy?

It flew out of the window

I don't know whether it was my past as a nurse or because some deep part of me was still loving children – despite currently being one. But I ran as fast as my little legs could allow me to and jumped after John Lowe in an attempt to save him.

I tried to pull him close and thankfully he did not resist, he wrapped his thin arms around my waist as I pulled us both in the surface. As soon as our heads were out of the water, we were gasping for breath.

I didn't pay attention to what was happening around me, I was drawn to John Lowe's frightened eyes as he looked at him – he was cute, for a kid.

"Thank you" He said, his voice shaking and his eyes half open

Before I could answer our fathers were picking us up, the other kids were clapping and John's mother was frantically making sure he was safe.

My father wrapped a towel around me and picked me up, with a kiss on my forehead he told me how proud he was of me and hug me tightly against his chest.

Against my better judgement, I felt a warm feeling forming on my stomach when I embraced him and rested my head against his strong shoulder.

Behind his back, my own mother was glaring.

Author's Note: Agh! I feel so awkward writing in first point of view (i mostly write i 3rd)

Anyway. So grandam knows something is off. Mommy is losing it. And little John is introduced. I hope you like it.
Don't worry, we'll reach canon storyline, I just want to establish few bonds between the characters

Please drop a review and tell me what you think so far