Ron was a little nervous

Okay, maybe 'a little' wasn't strong enough. He was horribly nervous. He had never kissed anyone before. He'd only been on a few dates. None of them had ever had a kiss involved in any sort of way. If he ever managed to get another date, one that would let him kiss her, he wanted to be able to wow her with the most wonderful kiss she had ever gotten. However, to be able to do that, he would need practice. He had tried to use a potato, but found it to be a poor practice partner. It couldn't tell him anything or show him anything that he could do to improve his technique, and his urge to eat it had caused the loss of three of his practice taters. After a lot of thinking, he eventually decided to ask one of his best friends for help. A bit of convincing and bribing later, he was now being taught the art of kissing.

Ron licked his lips as his friend put on a thin layer of lipstick. This would be his very first kiss. Of course, no romance was involved, but in this case, it would have felt wrong if there was any. He'd know this person for a good chunk of his life. It was impossible to imagine anything like that. At all. Besides, the very thought of it would be beyond sick and wrong.

His friend whistled to him and wagged their finger. This was soon followed by lip puckering, which got both of them going into fits of giggles.

"Are you sure you're willing to do this? I would understand if you didn't. It's a bit wrong-sick," Ron said with a slight tremor in his voice. He wasn't sure if it was the giggle fit that he had just had or if it was his nerves showing. After his friend gave a little nod, Ron lowered his head down to let mouth meet his friend's lips…

Several hours later, Mr. Stoppable was driving Ron back from the hospital while Ron's mother sat in the front passenger seat. A two-inch bloody gash went through Ron's lower lip, and was stitched together with surgical proficiency. Ron gingerly ran a finger over the cut, and winced a little.

"That was quite the cut, Ronald. You are just lucky that Anne was able to find some time in her schedule to fix it. Four stitches from a razor cut is not a light matter. It could have been much worse. Practicing shaving is something that should be done with supervision," his father lectured.

"Your father is right. You could have really hurt yourself. And that cut is no small wound. Right before our trip, too," Mrs. Stoppable said.

"Trip? What trip?" Ron said, his fingers stopping halfway to touching his wound.

"We're going on a short vacation this summer, starting now," His mother replied.

"When were you going to tell me?!"

"This IS our way of telling you," Mr. Stoppable said. "If you want, we can get some nachos on our way out of town."

"A-booyah! Hey, Rufus, didja hear that?" Ron said as he turned his head to his pant pocket.

"Hoo boy! Cheese!" Rufus cried as he popped out of Ron's pocket.

"We already have your bags in the trunk, so we can just-" Ron's mother started, stopping when she laid her eyes on Rufus. "Ronald, what's wrong with Rufus? Is that…lipstick?" Ron took a quick glance at Rufus, and saw the red halo that was around Rufus's mouth.

"Uh…yeah. I guess Rufus got hungry while we were waiting in the hospital and got into your purse. Hehe…" Ron said, a faint red coming to his face. Rufus gave a small, guilty chuckle and furiously wiped the lipstick off of his mouth. Mrs. Stoppable's mouth became a thin line and she looked thoroughly unamused by Rufus's antics. However, she just shrugged and turned back around.

"Hey, Rufus, don't worry, buddy. I'll make sure to ask for grande size with extra cheese, just like I promised," Ron whispered to his naked mole rat. "Just, uh…watch what you do with your teeth, okay?"

Rufus gave a tiny glare and grumbled a bit. He crossed his arms and turned his back to Ron.

"Okay! I'll let you have some of my naco, too." This bit of news cheered Rufus up a bit, and he climbed up onto Ron's shoulder and gave him a little hug.

Author's Notes:

I was going to post all of them at once, but I decided to post them one at a time to see how wrong-sick I can go without creeping people out too much. I want to make sure it's not getting too weird. I would appreciate some input telling me whether I'm next to the line between 'wrong-sick' and 'just plain wrong'.

You can thank Pharaoh Rutin Tutin and MaceEcam for this story, and can continue to thank Captain IT for the original idea.