Sailor Moon screamed as the daimon trapped her in a corner of the skyscraper's rooftop deck—the glass balustrades to her back the only things preventing her from toppling 70 stories to the bustling city street below. Her fellow soldiers—Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, and Venus—had already been overpowered by the daimon and couldn't come to her rescue; Sailor Moon was the last woman standing.
"U-Eeeeeeeeeedyyyyyy . . ." the daimon said, then took a deep breath, causing the small amount of water trapped in her round glass midsection to bubble ominously as the rest of the glass globe filled with white smoke. She exhaled slowly, blowing the smoke straight into Sailor Moon's face.
Sailor Moon held her breath as long as she could, knowing that Sailor Venus and Jupiter had been incapacitated the same way, but soon had no choice but to breathe in the thick smoke that had filled the air around her. It stung her throat, sending her into a coughing fit.
"That's it," U-Eedy said, nodding approvingly. "If you don't cough, you don't get off."
"U-Eedy!" Mimete called from her perch on the infinity pool's diving board. "Let's get back to the Professor's! He's got pizza bagels!"
"U-Eeeedyyyy . . ." the daimon replied, smacking her lips.
"Hold it!"
Mimete and U-Eedy turned to find Tuxedo Kamen standing atop a sun umbrella.
"Tuxedo Kamen-sama!" Sailor Moon managed to get out between coughs.
"Living the high life is something that many people enjoy, but only a dope would force it upon the unwilling. Abusing Earth's flora is something I will not forgive!"
U-Eedy blinked her bloodshot eyes at him. "Aww man, don't harsh my mellow . . ."
"U-Eedy, get him!" Mimete ordered, pointing her golden staff at Tuxedo Kamen.
"Take this!" Tuxedo Kamen yelled, then lobbed an enormous sunflower at the ground in front of the daimon, causing its seeds to explode across the rooftop.
"Woah . . . sweet . . ." U-Eedy said, bending down to snack on the sunflower seeds.
"Now, Sailor Moon! Fumigate this butt-head with your justice!"
But when he received no response, he looked over to find her on her hands and knees, totally focused on the bountiful food that had appeared at her feet.
"Sailor Moon!"
"Huh?" she said, looking up from her snack.
"I said, fumigate this butt-head with your justice!"
She swallowed thickly. "What?"
He sighed. "Just kill it and I'll buy you as many sundaes as you want."
"Yessssssss!" she said, standing unsteadily, giggling with every stumble. Pulling out her Spiral Heart Moon Rod, she held it above her head with a wobbly hand. "Rainbow Moon Heart Ache!" she yelled.
The daimon, preoccupied with the food, didn't notice the darkness that suddenly surrounded her, nor the rainbow that followed. But the gigantic pink heart that engulfed her soon after certainly got her attention.
"Love . . . lovelyyyyyy . . ." she said, then fell to the ground where she was replaced by a harmless glass bong. A Pure Heart Crystal shined lazily beside it, and a daimon pod slowly emerged from the bong and shattered.
"Argh!" Mimete yelled, then leapt into an open doorway and made her escape.
"Sailor Moon, get the Pure Heart . . . oh never mind," Tuxedo Kamen said, as Sailor Moon had resumed her snacking. He fetched the Pure Heart Crystal, gently carrying it to the side of the victim, who was lying unconscious on a lounge chair and covered in sunflower seeds. The crystal soon disappeared, reabsorbed by the victim's body.
"Scoop Kitty Katt?" Tuxedo Kamen asked as the man blinked his bleary eyes.
"Woah . . . man . . . I think I smoked some bad weed . . ." Scoop Katt said, slowly sitting up.
Tuxedo Kamen smiled, handing him a nearby glass of water. "I'd say it was Sailor Moon who smoked the bad weed tonight, Scoop Katt."
"Oh sweet, munchies . . ." Scoop Katt said as he noticed the sunflower seeds on his shirt.
"Could we get a little help over here?!" Sailor Mars called from across the rooftop, where she and the rest of the senshi were trapped, swaddled tightly in oversized rolling papers.
Tuxedo Kamen swiftly came to their rescue, releasing them from their papery cocoons.
"Really?" Sailor Mars said as she pulled sunflower seeds from her hair. "Fighting with sunflower seeds? Somehow you managed to get even more lame."
"You can't deny they were effective, though," Sailor Mercury said as she attempted to rub feeling back into her arms and legs.
Venus and Jupiter, who had both been victims of U-Eedy's smoke attack, were still lying on the ground, though Jupiter was laughing feebly.
"Ugh, whatever," Mars said, pulling a red-eyed Sailor Venus up from the ground. "Don't eat those!" she said, smacking the sunflower seeds from her hands. "They've been on the ground! And who knows where they came from!"
"Well, I would stay and help clean up, but I promised Sailor Moon a sundae dinner," Tuxedo Kamen said with a flourish of his cape, "so I must bid you ladies adieu."
Mars scowled as she watched Tuxedo Kamen jump across the rooftop and scoop Sailor Moon into his arms.
"Farewell!" he called, then deftly leapt from the rooftop.
Mars shook her head. "Typical."
s/o to my bae-ta