A/N:Well, time for the next chapter! I really do love writing for Durarara, the fandom is so nice and caring~and unlike certain fandoms they don't isolate you if you prefer different things. Creativity is always good. Today I'm snowed in so I figured why not, write the next chapter up right now? Today, we shall see some different things play out for Izaya/Lucia. Some things may play out the same, others not so much.

Chapter 2 Knives, Yellow Scarves, and High School, oh my!

"So, Masaomi, what's got you so upset?" I said, slouching back in my chair as I watch the boy across from me sigh again...and glare at me. That's been...oh, I don't know, the fifteenth time he's done that in over ten seconds, as impossible a feat as that seems to be, he's done it. But for this boy, it seems like he can whine about absolutely anything.

He glares at me again, and then folds his arms. "...Anri and Mikado are dating now."

That's...it? Really? That's the only reason he was acting like a pissy teenager...wait. My mind clicked, and then put two and two together. Now I understood why. Masaomi was jealous of them because his girlfriend was still bed-ridden, in the hospital, or else...or else-oh god, this was real life, not some fanfiction written by some crazy author.

The odds of Masaomi Kida suddenly turning gay just because I wound up in his world were not very high, and I prayed they'd remain desperately low as I picked up my phone, opting for another option to snap Prince Charming out of his hissy state. Hey, when you're stuck with people this insufferable, you start nicknaming them. That's what Izaya does, right?

"W-What are you doing?" He says, suddenly looking panicky for some reason. Ooh, have I found and unlocked his secret vulnerable spot? I think I have lucked out, finally! "Y-You're not calling...him, are you?"

"Yes, I am," I say, smirking at his panicked look as the ever-so-not-innocent voice of Mikado Ryuugamine comes over the line, confused and asking who the caller on the other end of the line is. He says this several more times, before I realize exactly who I am now and what I must say. Damn, here I thought I could forget for a few measly seconds.

I'm asking for too much here, aren't I?

"D-Don't answer it, Izaya! Put the damned phone down!" Masaomi says, panic-stricken all of a sudden. For a second, I feel bad for the kid. Having to relive Izaya's life and see Saki injured was pretty sad. I didn't shed any tears or anything, but I did feel pretty bad about it. Not that Masaomi'd ever notice; he's too wrapped up in the Shroud of 'Hating-Izaya-Forever' to notice; no one notices how he was a girl resurrected as a boy, ha ha!

"...Hello there, Mikado-kun. Masaomi's with me right now and he wants to talk to you."

"...Eh? T-To m-me? A-About what? Orihara-san, what's going on?"

Ah, poor, clueless Mikado. For a second, I almost feel bad for what I'm about to do, before I remember that Mikado's secretly a criminal mastermind who's capable of lighting a man on fire and smiling while doing so, not to mention capable of stabbing a freaking pen through someone's hand...a pen...to...the...hand. And then he'd smile like an angel after doing so.

Oh, well, if it's my second funeral, it's my second. I know I won't be living long in this life, anyway, not with all the guns aimed at Orihara Izaya's head that could go off at any second. You just take the risks when you land in this kind of life. It isn't easy. It's freaking hard.

I smirk slightly as I take my phone out of my hands and then hand it-no, practically throw it at poor Masaomi-and chuckle a little upon seeing the latter stumble at trying to catch it and then make a few whimpering noises as he tries to explain to Mikado why he doesn't hate him and how this is all some big misunderstanding.

This is all turning out to be rather amusing...holy shit, I'm even starting to think like Izaya! Not good, I thought I'd told myself that when I entered this life, I was going to be me as much as possible, not sink into the megalomaniacal mode I've been presented with-no, more like shoved into. Well, I guess that couldn't be helped. I may as well make as many enemies as I want. Not like anyone would cry if Orihara Izaya died.

And that's what made me sad the worst. You know? If I'd been reborn as some other character who isn't the biggest ass in the world to others...someone like, oh, I don't know, Cloud Strife, Edward Elric, Kaneki Ken, etc, then I know someone would be crying over me. Someone would genuinely be sad and mourn my death. But no, if Orihara Izaya dies, there'll be nothing but parties and carnivals and festivals thrown after I die, with Shizuo throwing vending machines-

Wait. Vending Machines. My heart freezes for a few moments, and I completely ignore Masaomi's shouts of protest as apparently his conversation with Mikado hasn't ended well, spacing out, suddenly picturing a villainous green machine come flying out of nowhere and land on me.

What if it were like Pokemon? My death, I mean. Shizuo used Vending Machine. It's super effective. Izaya dies instantly. Oh shit, my gamer tendencies are catching up with me. I've gotta stop.

"Izaya, are you even listening?" Masaomi says, waving a hand in front of my face. I jump back, relieved that there's a person in front of me and not a goddamned vending machine. For once. But I swear, this is the silliest fear I've ever had.

"...Yeah, Masaomi-kun. How'd it go?"

Masaomi pales, as though he's been sentenced to death.

"...Mikado wants to see me, after school...he's not happy about me being the leader of the Yellow Scarves..."

Oh...so this wasn't just over dating. Masaomi genuinely suspected his own best friend. What an interesting turn of events this was turning out to be-no, I mustn't think like that. I'm not a maniacal psychopath, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. Or am I?

"Couldn't you figure out the rest on your own?" I say in boredom, thoroughly tired with this conversation. Masaomi was a nice kid, but he could get a little boring at times.

"...Yeah," He says, nervously. At the same time, I can't help but snicker a little as he slams the door shut. God, I can be immature at times. But I can't help it. It's what comes from living another life...again. He's ever so amusing and interesting at the same time.

Now that I don't have anything else to do, I suppose I can just think over the amusing (not really, more like flipping terrifying) days I had in high school. Trust me, anime high school is much different than real high school. Real high school's boring as can be. Anime high school, on the other hand...ugh, it was a nightmare. But somehow, I made it through, screwing things up like I was supposed to. Yeah, so I said that? Got a problem with it?

I put my hands on my lap for a few moments as I thought over those days; ah, it'd been quite fun, dealing with crazy Shizu-chan and Shinra. Shizuo really was a nice guy-but he was annoyingly angry all the time. I didn't hate him like the original Izaya, rather I just felt bad for him. Everyone always seemed to be out to make his life hell, including me, of course. I just thought he was annoying, but didn't really want to kill him or anything. But that's the way the cookie crumbles when you're Izaya. No one bothers to ask you why you do things, they just assume you're the most evil asshole on the face of the planet.