Nestled safely in a quiet compartment on the train, Lily leaned her forehead against the cool glass of the window and closed her eyes. Over the last few hours she had replayed the scene with her sister over and over again, trying to figure out where things had gone so wrong with the two of them. She must have let out an audible sigh, because her companion gave her a strange once-over, before returning to her muggle fashion magazine. Lily stood to stretch her cramped muscles as the trolley came by, and the plump witch who manned the cart every year offered her a variety of sweets and treats. Her female companion purchased a box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavored Beans. Lily politely declined the witch's offer to purchase anything, and wandered back to her seat to stare out the window.
"Ugh. They always give you tons of the gross flavored ones. And never any of the good tasting ones in these little boxes. I don't know why I bother getting them anymore," the Ravenclaw girl declared whilst shaking the box of jelly beans. The expression on her face was priceless, being a mixture of horrified and disgusted. "I think I just ate dirt."
Letting out a hearty chuckle, Lily examined the girl and realized she looked familiar, but couldn't pinpoint exactly from where. She had shoulder length ash blonde hair which was cut neatly into a long bob with a face-framing fringe. The blonde girl already wore her school robes, but Lily could tell she had a very petite figure beneath them. Her smart black rimmed glasses concealed her honey brown eyes, which looked warm and kind. She was good looking, but not in a conventional sense. A gap in between her two front teeth made her smile unique, and the girl's enthusiasm seemed contagious.
"I'm Lily. Lily Evans." Lily held out her hand, waiting for her fellow student to shake it and introduce herself. Having been a prefect, and now Head Girl, Lily always tried to be a role model for other and act in a polite and dignified manner.
Raising a quizzical brow, the girl gave Lily's hand a firm shake. "I'm Kelsea. I think we've met once or twice before. I'm in Ravenclaw with my older cousin Heidi. I think she introduced me to you and all your friends last year when she ever-so-briefly dated Sirius Black. You're friends with him and James Potter, right? They have got to be two of the keenest guys in school!" Kelsea seemed to space out at the thought of Sirius and James. The dreamy look in her eyes confirmed what Lily had already deduced. Kelsea definitely fancied one, or even both of these notorious troublemakers.
"Well actually, I wouldn't call either James or Sirius friends really…" Lily trailed off. "I mean we're in the same year and house, but it's not like we really hang out together. They're kind of trouble makers. As a former prefect, and now Head Girl, associating myself with those two probably wouldn't have gotten me this far." She paused, contemplating on what to say next. "Oh, they're nice enough I suppose, but please don't let either one of them ever hear you say that again. If their heads, or egos for any matter get any bigger, why they may just float on out of the train like balloons!" Lily couldn't help but to giggle at the thought of one of them floating out of an open window on the train and flying away, never to be seen or heard from again.
Their compartment door abruptly slid back and Lily glanced up to evaluate who it was that would be joining them. As if Merlin himself had whispered in their ears' and told them they were being talked about, James and Sirius appeared, seemingly out of thin air. Lily let out a groan of disapproval as she saw them hovering in the doorway. Per usual, James was grinning like a fool, and Sirius merely looked bored.
"Alright there Evans...how was your summer holiday?" James ruffled up the back of his hair as he questioned Lily. He shuffled his feet nervously, not even daring himself to look into her deep green eyes.
Lily assessed James in a cool and indifferent manner. Having warded off his advances since first year, she was rather used to rebuffing his advances.
"It went quite well, thank you for asking James." Lily's attention shifted to a stirring commotion behind the two over-grown bullies, and agitation flickered across her features. "I see you two are already up to your childish antics. Who is it this time? Let me guess, some poor unsuspecting first year?"
James looked sheepishly down at his shoes while Sirius broke out his trade mark smirk, looking quite pleased with himself. Lily peered passed their looming figures again and squinted, trying to decipher what type of chaos they had created. The only thing she could see was a large group of students gathering, which was growing in size by the second.
Letting out an exasperated sigh, Lily stood and smoothed the wrinkles out of her white button down shirt. She stood on her seat to reach her trunk and rummaged through its contents. When she stepped back down to the floor, her crimson and gold school robes were folded neatly in her hand. After pulling them on over her muggle clothes, she removed her shiny Head Girl badge from her pocket. Gazing down at the cold metal in awe, her fingers gently turned the badge while she examined it. Golden rays of sunlight streaming in through the train's windows reflected a blinding glare off of her most prized possession.
"Bloody hell Lily, are you trying to blind me with that sodding thing?" Sirius muttered under his breath as he squeezed his eyes shut.
Blatantly ignoring his protests, she pinned the badge to the front of her robes and pushed passed the two boys silently. Lily bit her lip, almost afraid of the incontrovertible disaster that she was sure would soon meet her eyes.
Students from every house stood by chatting animatedly, pointing and laughing at a figure in the center of the circle that had formed. After shoving her way passed several third years, she finally reached the scene of the crime. Remus Lupin was standing opposite her, looking on, almost as horrified as Lily.
A tall lanky figure lie face-down in the aisle between the seats. His shoulder-length wavy black hair almost immediately gave his identity away. Lily would recognize him anywhere. He lay still as a statue, although she could see the rise and fall of his body as he struggled to breathe.
Wand at the ready, Lily softly spoke the counter jinx, "Rennervate." She cast a look down to the figure of Severus Snape, reassured her spell worked by his twitching arm.
"Come along people. Nothing to see here!" Lily shouted. When only a handful of her peers even glanced her way, Lily shook her head and put her wand to her throat. "Sonorus," she mumbled under her breath, her frustration palpable.
Her voice, now magnified as if over a loud speaker, rang through the corridor and compartment loud and clear. "Please move along. If anyone who does not belong here lingers, I will begin handing out detentions! Move along!" Lily was practically shouting with frustration, despite the fact that her voice was already amplified.
Groans of protest issued from the crowd, but the students slowly began to disperse, most of the students ultimately sensing Lily's wrath. She removed her wand from her neck, and side-stepped her way around two small first years that looked quite nervous. Remus, although not one of Severus Snape's biggest fans, couldn't help but feel bad for the immature spell his friends had cast upon him.
The figure of Severus Snape stirred a bit more, and the teenaged boy lifted his head. Lily pocketed her wand, and held her hand out to help him to his feet. He rolled himself onto his back, his already crooked nose seemingly broken. Thick red blood had already begun to dry beneath his nose and across the lower half of his face.
"Please Severus; let me help you up…" Lily trailed off, her sympathy for him reflected in her tone.
"Are you alright Severus?" She repeated, her hand still extended, waiting for him to accept her help. In response, he glared up at her as if she was the one who had put him in that situation, before turning his face away in shame. He put his hands to the ground and slowly pushed his shaky body into a standing position. Towering over Lily by quite a few inches, his presence seemed slightly intimidating.
"I can take care of myself." Severus responded to her kind words harshly. The look in her eyes seemed to betray her hurt, and his tenor instantly softened a bit. "I apologize for being so gruff Lily. How have you been? How was your summer? I heard from Ashley Vince back home that Petunia is dating that bloody git Vernon Dursley." Severus's words flooded out like word vomit. His attempt at light conversation seemed awkward and out of place, especially considering his current condition.
Lily took in his distinct features, and squared her shoulders towards him in defiance. "I'm glad you're okay Severus. I know you are completely capable at easing the pain until we arrive at Hogwarts. I would however advise against trying to mend your broken nose yourself. Madam Pomfrey will do an excellent job, I assure you," Lily responded coolly, ignoring his inquisition, still attempting to hide the hurt she felt towards him from showing in her expression and demeanor.
The look that flashed across his features was brief, but Lily could still sense his regret. Not that it mattered. He had betrayed her like no one else had, aside from perhaps her sister. Lily Evans was many things, but she certainly did not forgive, or for that matter forget easily.
His betrayal still tore her up inside, and she fought back a cornucopia of emotions that threatened to release their wrath. He had been her best friend throughout their childhood and earlier school years, yet he had insulted her in a way no one else ever had. Lily's stomach twisted itself into knots, her conflicting emotions each struggling to win domination over the others. She fought her lower lip from trembling, willing herself to show no emotion. Still, the need to protect him from his tormentors encompassed the very essence of everything about her. Being a nurturing person, her fiercely protective side was one of her most admirable qualities. It however, could not win out over the burning rage and fierce sorrow Severus invoked in her still.
"Lily can we please just talk?" Severus questioned, his voice coming out weak and shaky.
After thinking for a moment, Lily merely shook her head in response. Although she simply wanted to comfort him, she would not allow herself. The raw and bittersweet emotions were far too much for her to comprehend. Choosing to defy her basic human instincts, Lily turned away from Severus. Ironically enough, this situation was similar to the very one that had ruined their friendship to begin with.
Having momentarily forgotten Remus' presence, she turned towards him, her features suddenly shifting from sullen and regretful to warm and welcoming. An almost genuine smile illuminated most of her face, although something in it didn't quite reach her eyes. She was instantly grateful that he was still there by her side.
Lily's brain processed Remus' appearance. "He looks peaky, even for Remus," she thought to herself as she moved towards him. His pale hair looked limp and scraggly and his ever prominent cheek bones jutted out from the weight he seemed to have lost in the past months. His large eyes appeared hollowed out and sunken in, the usual sparkle in them a bit faded. The loose-fitting muggle clothes he wore did nothing to disguise the fact that most of his lean muscle mass had wasted away.
"Hello there old friend. How are you holding up?" Lily patted his back in a comforting gesture. She had always liked Remus, even though he was friends with James and Sirius. Without waiting for a response she continued, "I see you are still unable to control your faithful sidekicks."
Remus offered her a genuine smile and ran a scarred hand through his golden hair. "Never could Lily, never could. I don't think anyone can control those two."
Lily nodded in agreement. "It's a bit early for them to be starting though, isn't it?"
Severus, who was clearly sick of being ignored turned on his heel and stormed from the corridor. One of the compartment doors clamored open, and then slammed shut quickly behind him. Remus and Lily turned their attentions back to one another.
"I believe you may be right about that Lily. But if I recall correctly, Severus gets fouler each year. Not that he needs to do anything besides breath in their general direction for a great row to ensue. Alas though. I surely hope you rested well on your Summer Holidays, for I fear they will have far more elaborate things planned. It being our final year and all, I'm sure they will want to go out with a big bang, so to speak." A slight smirk played on his thin cracked lips as he cast a sideways glance at Lily.
Lily too let a small smile escape, which seemed almost endearing of the two boys' antics. "I'm sure they will. Hopefully studying for N.E.W.T.s will keep their free time to a minimum though. I know I'm going to have far less time to chase after their sorry arses."
Looking down at her watch, Lily frowned. "Excuse me Remus, but I need to be going. Patrick is going to have kittens if I'm not there to help him organize the first years soon."
"Understandably." Remus agreed. "And Lily? Please go easy on them. James really does care for you, you know…" Remus fiddled with the hem of his robe nervously, not wanting to anger his friend. He looked up at her expectantly, and when she said nothing he turned towards her former compartment. "Anyways, care to walk back with me and retrieve your things?"
Lily and Remus entered the compartment and found Sirius and Kelsea chatting excitedly about this years upcoming Quidditch teams. James meanwhile sat across from the two of them, eyes glazed over, his mind clearly elsewhere. As Lily walked passed him to retrieve her trunk, he snapped out of his trance and jumped to his feet to help her.
"Here, let me," James mumbled, as he pulled Lily's large trunk down. It handed with a thud between the two of them, and he bent to upright it. "I could help you carry it to the front of the train if you like.
Lily assessed James, and reflected to herself about how uncharacteristically gentleman like he seemed. "Well, towards me at least," she thought. Grinning with pride, Lily waved her wand above the trunk. "Thank you, that's a very nice offer. But I believe I am a big girl and can manage all on my own." Lily lifted her trunk with one hand, and when she went to open the door to the compartment with the other she heard a low whistle.
"Wow, non-verbal spells? What a talented witch you are." James pushed his glasses back onto his nose. They seemed to be perpetually sliding down his nose.
Lily opened her mouth to spew out an angry retort, but decided against it. With a nod in his direction she replied, "Again, thank you James."
She stepped through the doorway, and decided to turn back again for her final winning blow. "Oh, and James? Sirius? Don't think for one second that you're getting away with this stunt you pulled." And with that Lily stalked off, her agitation enveloping her stride once more.
The train whistle finally blew, signaling their near arrival to the platform. The conductor gently began to apply the brakes and the train slowed from full speed. The first year students whispered to one another in a nervous manner as the giant castle of a school loomed along the darkening horizon. Lily realized half of them weren't even in their robes yet, and she silently cursed herself.
Patrick Finnigan, Head Boy and seventh year Ravenclaw, had pulled her aside as she came into the adjoining compartments a few moments prior. While he wasn't condescending, he did chastise her for not meeting in the prefects' compartment upon boarding the train like she should have. He had covered for her, as he was a pretty decent bloke, but made it clear he needed more from her than what she showed today. Not one to shirk her responsibilities, Lily regaled him with the tale of Severus' plight, but for some reason failed to mention that she thought James and Sirius to be the culprits.
Lily rubbed at her temples, trying to clear her head. Having always been a fairly rational and level-headed person, she tried to pinpoint the cause of why she was acting so out of character. She tried, unsuccessfully, to convince herself that the bustle of getting back into the school routine would right her behavior. Something else seemed to tug at her heart, whispering that there was more to it. The platform became visible and the train shuddered to a screeching halt. Many of the first years surrounding Lily looked nervous and apprehensive.
She fondly thought back to her first day at Hogwarts. Nostalgia threatened to erupt from within her as thoughts of her former best friend broke through. Flashbacks to happier days rang as clearly as a bell within her, and as tears rimmed her eyes, she knew this was not the time or place. Biting her lip, Lily pushed all her personal thoughts aside, deciding that there was time to analyze her feelings and uncharacteristic behavior later on in the safety of her dorm.
Relief flooded through her veins with potency as they approached the school. She felt her tension ease ever so slightly, and the thoughts of being back to her normal routine allowed her mind a moment of restful ease. She was finally returning to the place where most of her problems usually made sense, and she didn't have to deal with her catastrophic home life and her sister's many grievances. Lily took comfort in the fact that she could distract herself with her magical learning to void out some of the emptiness she often felt when she was trapped in the muggle world.
A/N: Let me know what you think! I have a fair head start on further chapters, and should be updating regularly. I first posted this on another fanfiction site, but it doesn't seem to be very popular there.