Zayra

I wake up screaming.

My breathing is erratic and I'm covered in sweat. My eyes shoot in every direction, looking for the fire and the faces of the murderers but I only see stonewalls. Relief washes over my body as I cover my face with my hands and take deep breaths.

It has been five years. Five years of nightmares that come almost every night and that I can't take my mind off during the day. I clutch the butterfly that hangs in my neck. It was my mother's favorite necklace and the only thing that survived the fire.

I should have gotten rid of it. I know that. Grandfather always scolded my mother for wearing it on the streets. He said silent stone was never something to be worn around silvers. She always ignored him, preferring to risk execution rather than living without an advantage.

She and grandfather explained to me what it was when they realized I was special, like him. When I still couldn't control my power they even borrowed me the necklace a couple of times to make the pulse stop and give me a few hours of peace.

Now, I carry it as a shield. It stops others from hurting me and me from hurting them.

When I'm around silvers I put it on my ankle, as far away from them as possible but its still a risk. If they found out I have it they would kill me for sure, a whisper would get inside my head to find out where I got it from, he would find out my secret and then tear me apart from the inside out.

I say he because every time I think about a whisper the cousin of the queen comes to my mind.

Samson Merandus.

I've seen his fights in the arena, he is brutal. He always makes sure blood is spilled and shows no remorse when he delivers the final stroke.

Just like Bones.

I can't breathe, my heart feels heavy with the memory of the man that left so many scars on my back.

Stop. Thinking.

I shake my head and close my eyes.

I can't go back to sleep, remembering Bones leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I let out a sigh and decide I'm going to take a shower and start the preparations for today. I get up from my bed and take the trunk that's under it.

I don't have much inside, casual clothes, a pair of underwear, the uniform I was given when I got the job and a brown wig. I take everything except the casual clothes and then close the trunk.

I turn around and see Lisa still sound asleep even after my not so silent waking. I chuckle and make my way to the showers. She is the heaviest sleeper I have ever seen, the castle could be under attack and she would be unbothered by it.

If it wasn't for me waking her up every morning she would have lost her job a long time ago.

I get to the showers, we try to keep it as presentable as possible for our own sakes but there's not much we can do. The floor is cracked, the mirrors are dirty and the only thing that separates the six available showers from each other are walls that reach the middle of my breast, needless to say that there is no privacy here, hence the reason why I shower while everyone's sleeping.

I put my uniform in front of one of the mirrors and take off the clothes I slept in. I turn on the water and I'm not surprised it comes out cold. Very few are the times that silvers actually bother to gives us some heat down here.

While I wash the sweat off my body I think about the night that's coming. Today is the birthday of the eldest prince, so everything is expected to go as the organizers planned it. Anything out of place would cost one of us our lives. On normal days I cleaned the castle, nobody paid any attention to me but on special occasions like this one I had to help the servers with their duties. I didn't like it but it was something I had to do for the good of Lisa.

I finish showering and dry my hair with a towel.

I put on the underwear and my uniform. A bright red suit, black fitted shirt and to my misfortune heels of the same dark color.

Before my arrival to the castle I had never worn heels and even after two years of practice I'm still an idiot walking in them. I couldn't understand why they were part of the uniform, they wanted us to be efficient and fast but they made us wear these big ass mortal traps.

Stupid.

I take the necklace and wrap it around my ankle. Then I take my hair and put it in a bun. I make a ponytail on the wig and put it on as best as I can. I couldn't find one of my size, this one was a little bit bigger than my head so I had to be careful, any sudden movements and the wig would come off.

I leave the towel in one of the baskets, take my clothes and go back to my room.

When I enter Lisa's head is hanging from the side of the bed with her mouth open. The poor thing is going to have a sore neck.

I make my bed, leave my clothes on top of it and approach Lisa's side.

I kneel down besides her and get near her ear.

"Lisa it's time to wake up," I say.

She doesn't even move.

"Lisa, wake up," I say a little louder.

Nothing.

"Lisa!"

"Ah!"

Her head shoots up as she screams and hits mine.

"Augh, Lisa what the…ow!" The wig is twisted now. I put it back where I think is its place and massage the place she hit.

"I'm sorry Zayra," she says massaging her head too. "It's just I was alone in the middle of the street but then people started chasing and surrounding me and screaming my name and I was so scared." Her voice breaks in the last part and I can see she's about to cry.

"It's all right, it wasn't real. You're safe." I put my arms around her and hold her tight.

Lisa has a phobia of being in too crowded places. That's why I volunteered to take her place whenever there was an occasion like the one today. She came here a month after I did, scared and alone, I wasn't going to stand and watch her fall.

I asked her once about it but there was so much pain in her eyes that I told her to forget I ever mentioned it.

I wait until she stops hugging me to pull back.

"Better?"

She nods and I get on my feet. I help her get out of bed and get her things for her.

"Go take a shower, I'll wait for you here."

She nods again, takes her things and leaves.

Today is going to be a long day.

Everyone is moving to their positions before everything begins when I hear someone call my name.

"Zayra!"

I turn around and see Peter walking quickly towards me with a bottle of wine in his hand. It looks different from the rest I saw earlier.

"What's wrong Peter?"

"You have to be the one to give the wine at the big table."

I paralyze for a second.

"What? Why? What happened to Jackson?"

"He was too sick to get out off bed."

I can't be at that table. I can't be at that table.

"Find someone else!"

"Theres no one. Everyone else already has something to do."

"Please don't make me do this."

"I'm sorry." He says with guilt as he gives me the bottle of wine and leaves in the same direction he came.

Suddenly my body disconnects from the world, I sense people moving around me but I can't focus on anything anymore. I have trouble breathing.

Elara Merandus, the whisper queen, the one that's always entering her maid's minds and will probably enter mine too just for fun. She will see everything. I'm as good as dead.

Someone is speaking to me I think but I just can't come out of this state of detachment that's over me.

It is until they shake my body that I gain some of my composure back.

I look up to whomever is that is talking to me. It's a woman, I can't hear what shes saying but I think shes asking if Im okay.

A few seconds pass and sound starts to come back.

"Are you okay? Hello? Can you hear me?"

"Yes," I whisper

"You have to get to your position."

"I…I cant."

"You must," she says in a severe way.

I don't know what she sees in my eyes, but it makes her gaze soften.

"Okay, breathe. I'll help you get there just tell me who you're serving and I'll guide you."

I show her the wine. She nods, puts one hand on my back and takes me behind the royal table. We stop a few paces behind the king's chair.

My senses are back to normal now but this hollow feeling that has settled inside of me won't leave.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes."

She doesn't seem too convinced by my answer but doesnt push it.

"Just remember to keep their glasses full at all times."

I nod and right when she is about to leave I stop her.

"Thank you, umm, I'm sorry I don't know your name."

She smiles at me.

"Ann. Ann Walsh."