An Artist, a Thief, and… a Villain?

Chapter 2
Please Stop Adding Villains, Kirby

(Uploaded on June 26, 2018)
(Updated on May 19, 2019)

Summary: The idea of summoning past allies with the Dream Rod to help out seemed like a pretty good idea to Dedede. And in some cases, it was! Of course, in Kirby's typical way, the definition of Dream 'Friend' can be really questionable, at times—and this was evident when it reached its natural conclusion with Dark Meta Knight.

A part of Dedede wondered if this was all really worth it. (Kirby's lucky he's his best friend and all…)

Notes: This fic was formerly known as Please Stop Adding Villains, Kirby; it was updated on April 13, 2019 to properly integrate all of the Wave 2 Dream Friends. If you haven't read the updated previous chapter yet, please do so.

Shortly after the Star Allies traverse through the Inside Islands…

[King Dedede]

Inside Islands – Dream Palace

You know, it's been a while since I've gotten out of my castle and really taken a trip 'round Pop Star. And I have to say, it's even more beautiful than I remember. It's like somebody turned on the high-definition filter and cranked it up to eleven, just because they could (then again, the Switch is a thing that exists now). Onion Ocean's a good locale and all, don't get me wrong, but it's got nothing on the Reef Resort and Inside Islands.

Not only that, the waters here are really refreshing, making the sights only more wondrous to behold. And since it wasn't like the current threat was all-encompassing, us ten main Star Allies ended up paddling about in the rivers between the spots of elevated lands, propped up by colored floaties and splashing each other with our hands. What can I say? It's nice to unwind every now and again. Doesn't hurt that we had a pretty good picnic right before, too. Adeleine's still got it!

Our path's led us across close to half of the planet so far, and we've snuffed out a good portion of those strange purple hearts possessing the people around. Jeez, they reek of negativity. They're like that false Dimensional Mirror I found up in Floralia, or even Dark Matter – and trust me, I'd know; you don't get possessed three separate times by the blasted entities and come out without a slightly keen sense for detecting similar things. It's enough to give Kirby—Kirby, the sassy, unflappable defender of Dream Land—actual fear.

It… hasn't been quite as pronounced since he first got a good look at it following my 'defeat'—the one from Whispy Woods flew off too fast, supposedly—but still. As his best friend, I… I don't really know what to make of his expressions. (It's like he's steeling himself for an uncomfortable truth. Something he's always known, but never really wanted to admit it. A little like me, ten years ago.) What I can do, however, is be there for him: put a hand on his metaphorical shoulder, remind him that I'll stand by him and help lift his burdens from his back – just like he did for me, way back when.

'Nuff about that depressing stuff, though – we've run into another Dream Palace here on the Inside Islands, and of course, Kirby's not one to pass up any chance to have another companion on this journey. I asked before why he couldn't have summoned everyone he could the first time he entered a Dream Palace; apparently they like to go inert after just one use of the Dream Rod, and don't reactivate until a good long while after leaving it.

Considering the timeframe we're running on (I don't want this to last any longer than a few weeks, at best), and the planetary nature of our trip (likely to be on an even bigger scale by the time this ends), I don't blame him for moving on and simply making use of whatever other Dream Palaces he stumbles upon instead. Those purple hearts won't piss off by themselves – and leaving them to fester on their own is a massive recipe for disaster. Anyway…

"And this makes Dream Palace visit number five," Kirby randomly remarked, the cyan crystals making up his Ice ability hat glistening as we went. "I feel like we're really making progress here, guys! With another friend by our side, things'll get even better!"

Again, I had to shield my eyes from the sheer brightness of the Dream Palace; somehow, under the light of the Inside Islands, the locale was even more blinding than before – which is really saying something. "Jeez, could the Ancients have made this place any whiter?" I grumbled as we walked inside. "I swear, not even an actual church would be this holy." Warm atmosphere or not, I would prefer not to have to wear sunglasses every time I even glance at these places.

"Yeah, I'd probably appreciate it more if it was toned down," Adeleine affirmed, swiping her paintbrush in front of her, clearly imagining a picture in her mind. "But at least they're convenient! They're like rest stops, in a way!"

"Rest stops made by old farts who don't understand the first thing about rest stops, you mean," Marx drawled, giving his rainbow wings a good flap. "Place could be on fire and it'd be an improvement." He sniggered. "That'd be a sight…"

"Hey, don't say that!" Ribbon pouted, scolding Marx. "Places on fire are never something to cheer about! We shouldn't complain so much about something so beneficial to us!"

"Complaining's half my bread and butter, y'know!" the jester cheekily replied. "The other half's actual bread and butter. You'd be surprised how useful it is in getting people to slip! They still never expect it! Ha ha ha!"

"That's… That's…" I have no idea what to say to that. I knew he was a prankster, but… that's a new one on me. "That's… a terrible way to use food," I finally said, an eyebrow raised, my nose scrunching up automatically. "Like, seriously. Extremely terrible. Can't you use a banana peel or something instead? You know, like normal people?"

"Pfft!" he scoffed. "That's for chumps! Real pranksters get creative!"

"If the food can be eaten afterward," Gooey suddenly interjected, "then I think it's okay. He's just using his food to its fullest potential. Isn't that a good thing? Food is good, so it must be good."

A brief silence occurred in the general region; we all turned to stare at the 'lil blobster as he drooled and drooled, oblivious to the weirdness of his own statement. After coughing a little, Bandana Dee was finally able to say, "U-Umm… G-Gooey, that's… that's not what you do with food… at all…"

"…I know that you can eat basically anythin', like Kirby," Rick began, "but I do hope you're not just blindingly eatin' food you find off the ground. That's just unhealthy, mate!"

You know, Adeleine, Ribbon, and Marx have gotten along fairly well with each other. Of course, the fact that Adeleine can spawn a wide variety of food certainly helps – but seriously, I think Marx has really warmed up to the artistic duo, genuinely appreciating them for their kindness and light levels of sass. Even Gooey can see it, and—well, he's Gooey. They're not quite on the level of 'best friends' yet, like Kirby and I are, but they're gradually getting there. And it's pretty sweet, honestly.

…I can't believe I'm using the word 'sweet' to describe anything related to Marx. This adventure is really something else…

A notebook poofed into Adeleine's hand once we were inside; and with a pencil in her other hand, she began to instinctively start sketching out the scene before her. "Man, this place is bright—but pretty!" she noted, moving about the tip of the pencil delicately across the sheet of paper. "I'm surprised I haven't come across these places earlier. I mean, they stand out a lot compared to everything else!"

"Especially that wand!" Ribbon piped up, a tiny finger pointing directly at the Dream Rod. "It—It feels a lot like the Great Crystal, except… if the Great Crystal was like a friend, extremely so. Does that make any sense?"

"So basically, it's a Kirby-themed artifact," Marx summarized. That explains… way too much, honestly. "What else is new?"

"N-Now that I think about it," Dee began to muse, "th-this adventure's r-really placed an emphasis on f-friendship; it—it's like Kirby p-personified on a million Invincibility Candies. A-And that's saying something, c-'cuz Kirby a-already is a big friend!"

"Ha! You know it!"

I hummed interestedly. "Guess it's like an early birthday present for Kirby, then! Friend Hearts, Dream Friends, Friend Wheels, Friend Combos – it's a literal 'best friend trend' in basically every way," I joked. "And now we're about to add another layer of friendship to our little quest. Ain't that a charm?"

"Yeah, yeah, we get it," Coo grumbled, "let's just see who's coming out of this this time!"

Like last time, it didn't take too long before the Dream Rod was once again in our heroic puffball's grasp – and with the raising of his hand, it started to glow brightly with the power of concentrated friendship. (Sometimes, I wonder how there can be so much friendship energy gathered up at once. Really boggles the mind.) White light blasted throughout the entire room, obscuring our vision – and when our eyesight finally returned to us, we found another unexpected, albeit welcome surprise.

"My, my," a rather suave voice interjected, "these are certainly some very intriguing circumstances. But I suppose life is full of these sorts of situations. Suits me perfectly well, I'd say."

The dust settled, the air cleared up – and there on the altar was Daroach, leader of the Squeak Squad and self-proclaimed treasure hunter of Dream Land. With a clawed hand tipping his red top hat, and a stylish (and equally red) cape wrapped around his body, the dashing thief looked all ready steal a heart or two. I raised an eyebrow, a tickled smile tugging at the tips of my mouth. "Daroach," I greeted him. "It's been a while."

Dee poked his gaze out from behind me. "Wh-Whoa!" he gasped. "D-Daroach! Is—Is it really you…?"

Daroach brought his hat up, giving us a good look at his cunning eyes. "Why, of course," he replied, ever the smooth one. "I'd like to believe I'm well-known enough that I can be recognized on sight. I see none of you have changed too much, Kirby, Dedede, Bandana Dee."

Daroach is an interesting character: as I've implied before, he fashions himself a treasure hunter and a bit of a gentleman thief. We first encountered each other twelve years ago, after another scuffle between me and Kirby. He and his brigade of followers had stolen a treasure chest I had discovered not too long before, and I remember sending my Dees after him (and Kirby—literally), since back then I didn't take transgressions against me lightly (or… anything against me lightly, for that matter.)

We haven't really interacted with each other a whole lot from then 'til now, aside from a few run-ins – though, he did prove himself to be a remarkable help during the great Robobot crisis of 2016. Here we were, a whole planet worth of heroes and innocents, scattered all over and being oppressed under the threat of the Haltmann Works Company, and the Squeak Squad were doing a fine job going about and assisting however many people they could, much like what Dee was doing. I respect him and his crew, in a way, for the deeds they've done, and the nobleness they've expressed.

(Calling them 'friends' might be a bit of a stretch, but I guess they're good enough for Kirby.)

Kirby beamed as brightly as possible, eyes closing and hands virtually placed behind his head. "I wouldn't be me if I wasn't still hungry and friendly!" he exclaimed cheekily. He opened his eyes, showing them glimmering with happiness. "It's nice to see you again, Daroach."

"The same can be said here, Kirby. I trust you and Dedede have been doing well for yourselves?"

"You know it," I replied. "What more is there to say? It's just us being us, the same way we've always been." I grinned. "Something tells me you'll fit in right at home, in that regard."

"I suppose I shall."

"Ooh… Now this guy's interesting!" As quick as a fiddle, Marx bounced up to the treasure hunter, followed swiftly by Adeleine and Ribbon, each with their own curious expressions. "Don't think I've ever seen you before!" he remarked. "We're making all kinds of introductions today!"

Ribbon's sight was set on Daroach's fanciful outfit, tugging at her friend's shoulder and pointing a finger at it. "Wow, Addie, look!" she was saying. "He looks so stylish! I've never seen anything like it!"

"Yeah, I can see that," Adeleine breathed, her hand unconsciously moving across her open sketchbook. "I'm getting inspiration just by looking at him!"

Daroach raised an eyebrow amusedly. "Oh? And who might you three be?" he asked.

"I'm the Ultimate Jester of the Gamble Galaxy—Marx!" the reformed villain proudly proclaimed, wings spread out as if to create an intimidating figure. "My legacy is one that shall reach the stars, and be known by everybody in the universe!" Jeez, he's really hamming things up now. Do I get like that sometimes? "And theeeeese two," he deliberately drawled things out, "are my sidekicks, Adeleine and Ribbon!"

"Sidekicks!?" the artistic duo screeched, their jaws dropping at such an audacious claim.

"Th-That's not true!" Adeleine continued. "M-Marx, you—you can't just make that kind of stuff up!"

("Oh boy, here we go," I heard Coo mutter.)

"Why not? I'm clearly the most powerful between the three of us! I'm the second strongest guy on this team, even!" ("Sure you are," I sarcastically commented, "and Zero's actually a misguided nice fellow." I'd like to at least think I'm on par with a final boss, at this point…) "But don't worry—if you guys feel inadequate, I'm still hiring more sidekicks to make up a full house!"

Daroach laughed – a distinguished, hearty laugh, absolutely full of mirth. "Ha ha ha… You three are certainly an exciting bunch to be around," he said, twirling a cane in his hand. "I think I'll very much enjoy hanging out with you in the adventures to come." His eyes sparkled. "Marx, Adeleine, Ribbon, correct? I—and the rest of the Squeak Squad—will be proud to stand by your sides – and everyone else here too, of course."

"S-Squeak Squad?" Ribbon asked. "Wh-What do you mean by that?"

"You have a squad?" Marx inquired, his eyes narrowing. "As in, an actual team? Nooooo way. I refuse to believe you actually have followers. I mean—only Mets and Triple-D here have anything like that!" …that is a compliment, right?

"What, don't I count for anything?" Kirby joked. "I'm only the biggest friendship freak this side of the Gamble Galaxy!"

"Eh, not big enough. Also, yours doesn't have a name yet. So minus fifty points on the cool meter."

("Y-Yowch," Dee winced, "that's harsh!")

"Well, if that's who you want to see, then who am I to deny you that request?" Daroach raised his arms to the air, a delightful smirk hanging off his face. "Come on out, gang, and show this crew your stuff!"

Suddenly, appearing behind him from literally out of nowhere was a collage of similarly stylized mice: one big and blue (Storo), one speedy and yellow (Spinni), one white and crazy-eyed (Doc), and then the multicolored mooks jumping about (the Squeaks). I jumped back in shock, waving my arms in the air as I struggled to regain my balance. "H-H-H-HOLY CRAP!" I shouted, Dee doing the same right beside me. I presume most of everyone was reacting just the same, too. "Wh-Where did they come from!? The heck!?" Does—Does he have a magic hammerspace cape in the same way I have a magic hammerspace coat for my Dees? Like—seriously?

(Kirby, for his part, reacted with little more than a "Ooh, fancy entrance." C'mon, can't you react any more surprised!? Please!?

"There are lots of people now," Gooey pointed out in the background. "I like lots of people. It's good. It's a good thing.")

"Squeak Squad here, reporting for duty!" Spinni proclaimed, brandishing his own claws and wicked smile, eyes looking out at the crowd from behind pointed glasses. "We're the best treasure hunters in business, y'hear us?"

"Yeah! If the Boss wants us to steal something, then we'll gladly do it!" Storo added. "If you guys help, then surely things will get done!"

"What zhey zaid," Doc tacked on. "But with lotz of technology, of course."

Daroach's smirk only seemed to grow wider. "Spinni, Storo, Doc, the Squeaks – and of course, me. Together, we hunt down the scarcest of stories and the trickiest of treasures from all throughout Dream Land – and even do a little thieving here and there. We are the premier treasure hunters of Dream Land: the Squeak Squad!" He bowed dramatically, an eye peering out from beneath his hat. "It's nice to make your acquaintance." (…dang, now he's just showing off.)

Marx's eyes began to sparkle—in exactly the same way they did when he first tasted Adeleine's food. He is… a lot easier to impress than I thought he'd be. "Oh dear Galactic NOVA," he breathed, mouth open a little. "Yes. All my yes."

Adeleine's drawing hand had dropped her pencil, the utensil saved only by Ribbon swooping in and picking it up. "…this adventure is like the craziest sugar rush anybody's ever gotten, ever," she thought aloud. "…I kind of want more of it."

"Yeah, me too!" Ribbon agreed, fluttering a little faster. "It's fun! Like Kirby is!" ("You know it!" you-know-who piped up.)

I shook my head to get rid of my shock. "Well," I said, "a whole crew's worth of recruits, huh? I suppose it ain't too bad, all things considered." Any more help we can get on this journey's a plus for me. I stuck out an open hand toward Daroach. "Welcome to the team, Daroach."

He took it without question and lightly shook it. "It's good to be here, I must admit. I hope you can keep up with us when the going gets tough," he teased, "especially with all the treasures out there to be taken."

"Oh, don't worry – I'm sure we'll be able to."

"Y-Y-Yep! Th-That's right!" Dee exclaimed. He proudly beamed, stating, "We're pretty capable, a-and I think we're more than a match for whatever it is we're up against!"

"We've found quite a number of Puzzle Pieces and Big Switches since we started, actually," Kirby mentioned. "I wouldn't mind if you helped us find the rest! There's a lot left to uncover, and I know that kind of thing's up your creek."

"I see, I see… Yes, I would greatly appreciate such intellectual challenges."

"Hey, hey, hey," Marx busted in, grinning ear-to-ear, "don't take all the fun talking to him, now! He's definitely worthy of being my newest sidekick – he even comes with his own sidekicks!" He jumped up and perched up on Daroach's hat, relishing in being physically above everyone else. "We're building an amazing crew here—ain't it great? A new era of Dream Land's beginning here, and we're gonna be the ones on top of it all! Ha ha!"

"I… I wouldn't put it that dramatically," Adeleine said, a drop of sweat going down her hair, "but… I guess it is nice to meet new people and see new things here and there." She twirled her paintbrush, a warm smile sprouting on her face. "Anyway… I hope we get along on this adventure, Daroach!"

"I hope so too!" Ribbon chimed in. "I think we're gonna have a lot of fun together!"

Daroach didn't seem too bothered by Marx using his fancy top hat as a nest. "I look forward to seeing what experiences we can concoct on this new treasure hunt of ours. Shall we go forth?"

("Y'know… I get the feelin' we're kind of bein' left out of somethin' neato," Rick commented in the background, scratching the back of his ear. "You feelin' that way too, mates? Like you're the supporting crew at a real rage?"

"I honestly don't care, so long as we get the chance to beat our enemies' faces in," Coo replied. "And the more people that come to help, the better!"

"So long as nothing gets in our way in the meanwhile, I think we'll be fine," Kine stated. "We've still got a long way to go—and something tells me it's only going to get more interesting from here…")

Shortly after Meta Knight's (re-)recruitment to the Star Allies…

Sacred Square – Dream Palace

Welp, things are certainly escalating now.

So we've finally finished our round trip of Pop Star, and we finally found Meta Knight situated over in the Pop Star's Sacred Square. Unsurprisingly enough, he had been possessed by one of those wonderful purple hearts. A fight ensued between us, and let's just say he really does deserve his title as the 'Greatest Warrior in the Gamble Galaxy' (even if he cheated during it – since when could he clone himself into four!? That's… actually a valid strategy, given that we were facing him with a team of over eleven—but still!).

We managed to at last overpower him and take him down – and like all the other brainwashed guys we fought, the heart-shaped artifact flew outta him the minute the battle ended. Kirby managed to bring him back to consciousness with a Friend Heart shortly afterward – but not before Meta Knight's mask broke from the strain of the fight.

Suffice to say, in front of the Animal Trio, Adeleine, Ribbon, Marx, and Daroach… it was rather embarrassing for him. Heck, I felt embarrassed for him, thanks to the friendship we share.

(Marx's cackles practically hurt my ears, they were so loud. Dang, that guy's got some strong lungs.)

But regardless of whether or not Meta Knight was likely to induce a most epic Curb-Stomp Battle in retaliation, one thing was for sure: we were one step closer to ending this latest threat for good!

Which was when this huge-ass fortress came down from the sky, its spike-like protrusion drilling straight into the ground and standing tall and visible to as many Dream Landers as physically possible.

Things can't ever be simple, huh?

While we prepared to storm this castle and confront our intruders… we just so happened to stumble upon a Dream Palace sitting outside the Sacred Square – so of course, Kirby wanted to go in and summon another Dream Friend to aid us. And so, here we are, walking into these hallowed halls, our crew certainly feeling more complete now than the last time we came into one of these places.

"Alright, guys," Kirby declared to me and Dee. "Our last Dream Friend summoning. After this, I'm proud to call our party complete."

"Last one, eh?" I noticed his wording and raised an eyebrow. "Fine by me. We're big enough as it is. I think we're pretty good to go for this rest of this adventure."

"I—I have to agree!" Dee spoke up. "S-Sure, we've got this huuuuuuuge castle to deal with, b-but we've dealt with much worse before! It… It can't be all that bad! …I hope."

"Still… it was so fun to summon so many friends on this adventure," Kirby replied. "Everyone coming back and being all happy seeing each other again, and even helping us save the galaxy… it was great! There's no reason why people can't feel thrilled over that!"

I glanced behind me. "…I can think of a few reasons myself, actually," I said.

Dee turned to look at where my gaze was at. "Th-They're still going at it…?" he murmured.

The 'they' he was speaking of was, wouldn't you know it, Meta Knight and Marx. The duo was having yet another glare-off of epic proportions… incredible, considering it's only been a couple of hours since we rescued Meta Knight.

"I still wonder how you of all people managed to come back to life," the swordsman growled, his hand twitching toward his sword. The Animal Trio (and Gooey, kind of) were worriedly at his side, in case a fight broke out between him and the jester. "You should just go back to wherever your soullessness was resting before this whole quest. Pop Star was perfectly peaceful without you around. It doesn't need your brand of villainy."

"'Perfectly peaceful', huh? Didn't you despise that kind of thing a couple decades back?" Marx sneered back. Adeleine and Ribbon nervously looked at each other as they stood beside their friend, trying to tug him away with no success. Daroach was also on standby, overlooking the situation with a quizzical expression. "You're one to talk, too—you tried to take over Dream Land, too." His eyes narrowed, and his mouth twisted into a feral grin. "You haven't forgotten that, have you?"

"Hmph. I was doing it for noble purposes, then," Meta Knight offered back. "Though my actions were wrong, they were at least based in some level of inherent goodness. Can you say the same about yourself, Marx?"

"Pfffft!" the purple clown scoffed. "Sure, my motive wasn't moral, and sure, I failed in the end – but at least I got further along than you ever did. I almost succeeded! You just got your battleship blown up – several times, in fact!"

…Meta Knight and Marx didn't have a good relationship, back in the day. The former was constantly suspicious of the latter, and I got the feeling Marx's always-scheming prankster nature really grated on his own always-serious, no-nonsense demeanor. Marx, on the other hand, didn't like how 'uptight' and 'hostile' the knight often was, and he delighted in tormenting him as much as physically possible. They clashed pretty hard with each other back then… and it doesn't look like that's changed now.

"At least I came out alive afterward," Meta Knight retorted to his rival of sorts, "and able to see my past mistakes for what they were." His glare intensified. "You've never been one to admit to that, have you? It's a miracle you even had a soul to begin with."

"Oh, you wanna go, buddy?" Marx growled, spreading his sparkling wings out. "Because I'm perfectly ready to go! I'm a final boss; I'll be happy to blast you into oblivion!"

"So be it!" The warrior and the jester didn't hesitate to lunge right at one another, completely uncivilized—though luckily, they were held back by the Animal Trio and Team Adeleine, respectively.

"Wait, wait, waaaaait, mates!" Rick yelled. "Don't go antagonizin' each other like that! You don't wanna be getting the pink slips now!"

"Ugh," Coo cried, claws perched on Meta Knight's head and trying to pull him away, "stop this… nonsense already…! Go pick… a fight… with somebody else…!"

And the other end of the spectrum… "D-D-Don't do this, Marx!" Adeleine pleaded, her arms latching around her friend and doing their best to pull him backward (and not particularly succeeding). "You—You guys should be trying to work together, not against one another!"

"C-C'mon, j-just—calm down, please!" Ribbon similarly begged. She frantically looked to Daroach. "D-D-Daroach, h-help us!"

"If you insist."

I grimaced at the scene. Jeez, those two really bring out the worst in each other. I've never seen Meta Knight so aggressive toward someone. Not even Magolor after his betrayal warranted such levels of hostility.

Though to be fair, Magolor was genuinely remorseful, and he did build that giant amusement park for Kirby…

"…yeaaaaaaah," Kirby drawled, "that's certainly quite the hiccup." ("Understatement of the century!" Dee squeaked.) "But that's okay!" He perked up with another bright smile. "I'm sure that whoever we end up summoning this time 'round, they'll be a big help! What are we waiting for? Let's do it!"

Kirby pranced up to the altar, the Dream Rod glowing and hovering over the podium as usual. Meta Knight and Marx toned down their squabble to settle instead for shooting glares at each other constantly. It's a step up from before, I conceded, though not by much.

"Wh-Who do you think we'll get this time?" Bandana Dee whispered to me, as Kirby grabbed the Dream Rod once more. "Kirby's made a lot of friends, b-but even he has his limits, y-y'know…?"

"Well, there's Magolor and Taranza," I suggested. "And I think Mario might be a good choice too," even though he's from another dimension entirely. "We just have to hope we don't get someone like that Susie girl, or—"

A flash of light, a beat of silence, a silhouette in front of us, and then—

…

…uh.

What?

What?

What?

This—This can't be right.

There has to be some sort of mistake.

Because otherwise, that would mean—

That would mean that that is actually Dark Meta Knight, standing right in front of us.

As in, the unrepentant villain Dark Meta Knight.

I blinked.

I raised my hand.

I pinched myself on the cheek.

…yep, I can definitely feel that.

This isn't a dream.

This isn't a dream at all.

There's only one eloquent response I can give at this point.

"What," I said.

"I—I agree," Dee stammered. "Wh-What."

…Dark Meta Knight is, quite possibly, one of the worst choices for a 'Dream Friend' Kirby could've ever chosen. Like, even worse than Marx. Seriously.

And it doesn't help that I've got my own history with him.

So about four years back, there were reports of 'strange business' going about in Floralia, shortly after Kirby dethroned Queen Sectonia. Apparently she—and a bunch of EX Bosses—had came back to wreak some havoc, so I did my duty and thrashed them all to the True Arena they came from. And along the way, I found the source of their revival: a corrupted clone of the Dimensional Mirror. And who else would be inside but Dark Meta Knight?

I don't know why he was in there, or how the Mirror even got in Floralia to begin with. He shouldn't have even been alive, 'cause Kirby and Meta Knight thrashed him a long time ago along with his master Dark Mind. But I knew he couldn't be there for anything good. He was also snarling and blindly raging at me the entire time, which is never a sign of someone who's all-there. So I did battle with him, smashed him into pieces, and promptly broke the false Dimensional Mirror with one good swing of my hammer. And that should've been the end of it.

Evidently, it wasn't.

Oh, it wasn't.

We stared at each other for a good long while as his mind seemed to boot up; our still-as-of-now-unnamed party were all in shock—except for Kirby, who looked only mildly perplexed. And then…

"…you." I flinched; his glare somehow beat out Meta Knight's in raw intensity. His eyes flitted from me to Meta Knight to Kirby—and in the blink of an eye, he whipped out his sword and pointed it directly at us. "What is the meaning of this?" he snarled, his voice low and absolutely terrifying. "You dare stand before me, the feared knight of destruction!?"

…eeeeeeeeep.

"Kirby," I began slowly, clasping a hand on his back, "I'd like you to know that I respect you a lot as my best friend. I really, really do. So it's with that in mind that I have to ask you…" I breathed in, and out… and then I threw my hands up in the air, my calm look dissipating in favor of unadulteratedpanic. "…how the hell do you expect to befriend him of all people!? I mean—he's Dark Meta Knight! At—At least Marx could be reasoned with!" ("Yeah, I won't deny that," said jester admitted.)

"I must concur," Meta Knight said, deeply disturbed. "As I recall, my mirror world counterpart is… not the most stable of individuals."

Dee was shaking in his boots. "…p-please don't let him h-hurt us," he whimpered.

"Hey, relax guys!" Kirby reassured us. "I've got this handled, don't worry." He took a step forward and confidently said to our former opponent, "Hiya, Dark Meta Knight! Nice to see you again! We're on an adventure—wanna join in?"

Another brief silence passed. I brought my face into both my palms.

"…welp, mates," Rick spoke up, "we're screwed."

"Tell me something I don't know," Kine groaned.

"…I must admit, it is difficult to derive amusement from this," Daroach stated. "That might be a problem."

"…is this a joke?" Dark Meta Knight narrowed his eyes. "Are you trying to mock me? Because I assure you, I am not laughing."

Y-Yeah, I can see that! I gulped.

("That's a shame," Gooey drooled. "Laughing is always a good thing—")

"Do you believe I have forgotten about the crimes you have committed? The insults you have dealt against me? You, who stepped in my way at every opportunity… you and my accursed doppelganger… your presence does nothing but fill me with indescribable rage."

"Believe me," Meta Knight curtly replied, "I would like it if we had never met again. Your arrival here is a discomfort from my end as well."

"D-Dedede," Ribbon worriedly looked at me, "wh-what's going on? Wh-Who's this guy?"

"Shh!" I frantically shushed them. "I'll—I'll tell you two later. J-Just—don't be too loud. Please."

"You—You seemed a little frightened of this guy," Adeleine noticed. "Is—Is he really that bad?"

"E-Erm…"

"And don't think I've forgotten about you, fat penguin." I jumped and gradually turned to look at Dark Meta Knight. His glower seemed to pierce right through my soul. Oh dear sweet NOVA, I've faced this guy before without hesitation and even taken him down – so why the heck is the idea of him being here so terrifying now? (…is it the fact that my friends—the friends who haven't fought as much as me and Kirby—are here now?)

I gulped again. "S-So you didn't," I stammered. I mustered up my best non-nervous grin. "I didn't think you'd remember."

"How could I forget you, when you were just as vexing as that accursed pink puffball?" Okay, the way he just seamlessly switches between partially scary and really scary voices is really unnerving. "You just barged into the false Dimensional Mirror I had created and destroyed it and me. I was at ease, before I sensed your disturbance upon my territory."

"Your 'territory' wasn't exactly very healthy for the world around it!" I exclaimed. "And it wasn't like you wanted to just talk it out or anything! What else did you expect me to do!?"

"G-Great King's r-right!" Dee interjected, quickly grabbing his spear and holding it out in front of him. "He—He doesn't always do things perfectly, b-but he tries his best, and I know he wouldn't do that w-without a reason!"

"Excuses, excuses!" Dark Meta Knight scoffed. "Say whatever you like, it won't change what's happened! If you want to talk, then tell me this: why shouldn't I end your miserable existences here and now?"

…eeeeeeeeep. Again.

I glanced at Meta Knight and Marx. The former villain's face had gone blank, and I could tell Meta Knight was the same behind his mask. The two turned to each other, the same thing clearly on their minds. "…this knight is clearly horrifically crazy," Marx said. "I wouldn't normally say this, but… I think we need to call a truce on this."

"As much as I do not want to, I must admit that it would be very valuable to have assistance against this menace," Meta Knight reluctantly agreed. "I will be willing to put our enmity on hold, just this once, for this."

"Then it's a truce."

…well, that was worrying. They're actually willing to work together in the face of Dark Meta Knight. Oh, why did this adventure have like this? I miss the days of just finding Crystal Shards or Energy Spheres.

I breathed in and out, in and out. Okay. Okay. Calm down. Even if he decides to start a fight, we're all capable enough to defeat him easily. Let's just calm down and… see if we can't pacify him somehow. Maybe he'll accept food as a bribe? Hmm…

"Hey—Dark Meta Knight, right?" A-Adeleine? Wh-What are you—? Surprisingly enough, Adeleine and Ribbon had stepped forward, their features showing firm determination. "You don't… actually feel that way, do you?" the artist carefully asked. "As far as I can tell, you wouldn't have been brought here if you didn't have at least a trace of good in you. You don't… have to go through with b-being a bad guy, I think."

"I—I mean, it's not like Marx is a—is a really evil bad guy anymore," Ribbon added, "s-so—maybe you can just… be a nice guy? Maybe?"

"…guys?" I hissed. "You—You shouldn't be—"

"…is that right?" Dark Meta Knight slowly asked. "A 'trace of good'? 'Be a nice guy'? H-Hmph! What does that mean!? You will pay for this insult on my honor…!"

"…you didn't actually deny it," Daroach noted. He raised an eyebrow. "Interesting."

"You really think you can make us pay?" Kirby taunted him—no, no, no, don't do that now, Kirbs! "Sorry, but you can't. Disregarding the fact that we're a team of twelve and you're a team of one… we've got something else on our side. Something you can't get rid of!" He smiled widely. "But if you wanna test it, then be my guest!"

Oh, this is gonna suck…

"As usual, your words are nothing more than empty platitudes against my might! Whatever this 'something else' is, it won't be helping you today! If you seek to perish so much… then your wish shall be granted! HAVE AT THEE!"

The shadowy knight, thoroughly angered, rushed forth with his sword above his head. The rest of us shifted into combat stances—except for Kirby, that is. He didn't look worried at all.

"Kirby! D-Don't just stand there!" I shouted. "Raise your sword or something, c'mon!"

But it was too late; Dark Meta Knight managed to strike him… except no, he actually didn't manage. In fact, his sword just went through Kirby's body as if it was holographic.

I paused. I blinked. I rubbed my eyes, just to really make sure I wasn't dreaming. I blinked again. And then I let my jaw drop a little.

"H-H-Holy crap!" Dee exclaimed, waving his hands in the air. To be honest, I kind of wanted to do that, too.

"What is this!?" In fury, Dark Meta Knight attempted to slash our smirking puffball repeatedly, all to no avail. "Why can't I attack you, you wretched puffball!? What sort of sorcery are you conjuring up!?"

"I—I'd like to know too," Adeleine said, her jaw wide open. "That's… That's completely new, even by our standards!"

"Well you see," Kirby began to explain as if this was the most obvious thing ever, "you're a Dream Friend now! And Dream Friends aren't allowed to hurt other friends in true malice! It's not a very friendly thing to do."

"…you're talking about invincibility frames," I realized. That's—That's crazy. That's just crazy.

…it certainly explains a lot, but—still.

"…huh," Marx muttered. "So that's why none of my attacks ever seemed to inflict any splash damage or anything. Good to know, I guess…"

"Anyway—as long as you're alive and a Dream Friend," Kirby continued, "you can't be a villain. And that means you're gonna have to work with us to save our planet from peril! You're gonna be our compatriot, whether you like it or not!"

"No… No… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Dark Meta Knight screamed into the sky rather dramatically. There was this visceral rage in his voice that gave me the shivers.

"…we have to work with you?" Meta Knight said, disgust filling his voice. He was scowling at the mere idea of it. "I'd rather eat glass."

"I… really don't want to do it either," Marx stuck out his tongue. "You're clearly eviler than me, and I don't like that."

"Oh, don't worry guys!" Kirby said. "You don't have to be around him too much if you don't want to be! But I'm sure he's bound to be a good friend either way!"

All three of them looked at Kirby in a 'Are you freaking kidding me?' kind of way. "Him/me?" they said in chorus. "Be a good friend?" They looked at each other for a bit before firmly shaking their heads. "Not a chance!"

I, uh… have no idea what to feel about all of this. Like, at all.

I'm—I'm glad that Kirby managed to figure out a solution for this problem, but… that doesn't change the fact that now we have two 'former' villains to deal with now (technically three, if one counts Daroach). And one of whom is still very clearly antagonistic toward us.

…I've faced a lot of challenges before, I won't lie. This, however… might just be the toughest one of them all.

"Well, the decision's done, and there's nothing we can do about it now. We'll just have to make the most of it! Now, we've got an adventure to continue, and the whole Gamble Galaxy to potentially save! What are you guys waiting for? Let's go!"

Reluctantly, Dark Meta Knight trudged forward first, sneering at all of us as he passed. "By no means does this mean I grant you forgiveness for your sins," he growled.

"Believe me," Meta Knight said, matching his scowl, "I feel the same way."

The shadow warrior leveled a furious glare at me in particular, the sight of which was enough to freeze me solid and send several chills rocketing down my spine. He kept it on me for several seconds before he finally stormed out. And once he was gone, I felt the tension in my body entirely disappear.

I slouched down to the floor, lying on my back and breathing heavily. "Dear NOVA," I sighed, "that was intense! I—I think several years were just shaved off my lifespan…"

"We, we—we survived!" Dee hysterically said, his trembling even worse than before. "G-Great King, we survived! I was—I was p-pretty scared there, f-for a moment… b-but Kirby got us through it intact!"

"Yeah," I breathed. "Yeah, he did."

"Hey, I'd never let you guys down, right?" Kirby rhetorically asked, sitting down right next to me. "Sure, things got a little tense back there, but it all turned out well enough."

"Speak for yourself," I groaned. "We still have Dark Meta Knight to deal with, and he's already been far worse than Marx ever was." I wearily turned my head to look at my best friend. "You think you'll be able to work your friendship magic on him?"

"Of course – though, something tells me I won't have to be the one doing it myself." His gaze wandered off to Team Adeleine. The artist and her fairy friend stared meaningfully at where the dark knight had exited before walking out after him, Marx and Daroach in tow. "There's a good chance Adeleine and Ribbon won't let him go."

"A rather sizeable risk," Meta Knight's voice fluttered through, "one I would hesitate in taking myself." He stood opposite of Kirby, his cape wrapped once more around himself. "There will no doubt be an unending amount of trials from what has transpired today. As the leader of our group, do you truly believe you will be able to handle our troublesome teammate, Kirby?"

"I don't take challenges I can't accomplish," Kirby confidently replied. "I'm willing to deal with Dark Meta Knight, whatever it takes. And something tells me Adeleine and Ribbon are more than up to the task, too."

"They've always been more than a little stubborn," I recalled. "I'll trust you on that – and I'll trust them to give it their best shot. Though… that doesn't mean Dark Meta Knight definitely doesn't creep me the heck out." I shuddered. "I'm not looking forward to working with him. Not at all."

"I must concur," Meta Knight said. "I would prefer to be as far away from him as possible if necessary. Do not expect me to… interact with him."

"S-Same here," Bandana Dee added. "I—I'd prefer to—to stick by G-Great King, if that's a-alright with you…"

"Eh, that's okay. I suppose that means I'll just have to befriend him four times as harder in exchange, then! And probably make him four times the friend, too."

"…that math shouldn't make sense," I deadpanned. "But it's more logical than anything we deal with half the time, sadly." And that… really says a lot about us.

And here are the rest of the Wave 2 Dream Friends, everyone! I would've gotten this out sooner (like, a month sooner), but a combination of writer's block and school overload slammed into me like a Kirby Tank blasting a poor Waddle Dee at point blank range. Hoo boy—summer vacation can't get here fast enough.

Daroach and Dark Meta Knight are pretty interesting Dream Friends. Daroach is the leader of the Squeak Squad and something of a consummate treasure hunter. While he raises a few eyebrows, yes, he's never been antagonistic in the same way that Marx or Magolor have been. Mass Attack had him lending a hand to Kirby, and I've established in In Times of Crisis that he's more than willing to aid Dream Land in—well, times of crisis. I really haven't gotten quite enough chances to write him, so I'm happy to show his Dream Friend introduction here.

Dark Meta Knight is someone a lot of you Make a Friend veterans should be familiar with – I mean, the second half of this chapter was essentially my second-ever Kirby fic. If I'm being honest, he's arguably a more dubious figure than Marx ever was, and I remember him being a Dream Friend was an absolutely hilarious idea considering who he is. (Heck, it still is hilarious.) In the time since I first introduced him, I've expanded his nebulous characterization considerably – and though he hasn't gone through all that Character Development yet, I hope you can still catch traces of where he'll be following the events of Star Allies.

Well, that's all for now – tune in next time for the real birth of these guys' friendship! (But first, I have to get back to Star Allies, Unite!.)