Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer – I own Edward and all of Twilight and you don't! Na na na na na!!

Me – It will be mine!! Someday, somehow... Mwa ha ha ha!!! *runs away to secret Steal Twilight Lab and thinks. Hard. Sulks when she realizes she still doesn't own anything Twilight related but a bunch of merchandise* Oh, and uhh SpongeBob isn't mine either! Crap! This means I own nothing...

EdPOV

After that hellish torture, I was scarred for eternity. But it still didn't compare to that time in the seventies. *shudders*

That might possibly have been the worst day of my too-long life, besides the day I thought my Bella was gone.

As I washed that horrid stuff off my face, I contemplated ways to get Emmett back. I knew that I couldn't re-dare him, because he would do the same and I didn't want to be stuck in a never-ending cycle of humiliation. I could dare Rosalie to do something that Emmett wouldn't like, but that usually meant that she wouldn't like it that much either. It wasn't exactly the best time in my existence for her to rip my head off. I liked being with Bella too much to want to end my time with her now.

Buttoning the buttons on my now appropriate-and-not-womanish shirt, I decided that I would get Emmett back after the latest truth or dare session was over. It would be more fun that way anyways.

I went downstairs with a mischievous grin that I couldn't seem to wipe off my face. Emmett's Jeep was dead...

I sat down next to my Bella and put my arm around her warm body. For a second I was immersed in her beauty, her warm touch...but I was snapped out of it when Emmett started thinking all about my recent little adventure, and how the look on that one man's face was priceless.

"Enough with the mental reminders, Emmett." I still had that smile on my face. "It's my turn now..."

While Bella, Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie waited for me to declare who I was daring, Emmett suddenly broke into song in his head. Apparently, what I had just said reminded him of one of his favorite songs, if you replace 'turn' with 'time' and added a 'not.' But it wasn't his favorite. That coveted title was held by the SpongeBob SquarePants theme.

It's not my time
I'm not going
There's a fear in me
It's not showing
This could be the end of me
And everything I know
Oh, It's not my time
I'm not going
There's a fear in me
Now I know that
This could be the end of me
And everything I know
Oh, I won't go

"SHUT UP, EMMETT!! I GET ENOUGH OF YOUR SINGING WITHOUT THE MENTAL SONGS!!" I don't know if I'd ever met a more annoying buffoon than Emmett.

"Sheesh, Eddiekinz. It's all good."

Was he trying to make me snap? It sure seemed like it. That ridiculous nickname always made me rip Emmett's head off. Only Bella in my arms prevented me from performing the aforementioned violence.

"..That." Jasper sent me a tangible wave of calm, and I was somewhat more under control. After I was positive that I would not resort to something as violent as dismembering Emmett, I turned to my family.

"It seems as though I've got a dare to make. And it would appear that I choose Alice." She didn't groan or anything, but with my current mood, she wasn't exactly ecstatic to be chosen, either.

"Why not get Emmett back?" she whined, obviously not wanting to have to do anything rash because of Emmett's pissing me off. Oh, come on Edward! Please don't take it out on me!! she thought.

"Because then he would dare me, and I would dare him, and so on. We would be here for the rest of eternity daring each other. That doesn't exactly sound fun," I explained. Besides, even through a dare, I couldn't make Emmett do what I would do to his Jeep. "And I promise that I won't vent my anger at Emmett out on you. You'll have a normal dare." As about as normal as you can get with Cullens.

"Oh, fine," she grumbled.

"Alice, I dare you to put water on your pants to make it look like you wet yourself, then parade around town talking to everyone while carrying a pack of diapers."

Everyone was hysterical when I finished. Compared to some of the things Alice had been dared in the past 50-something years, this was letting her off easy. And she knew it, too.

Her face fell, but she seemed to acknowledge her fate. Since it was Saturday, most people would be out and about in town, but that didn't faze Alice. After she accepted her fate, she got in her Porsche and raced to the nearest store that sold diapers. In around five minutes, she returned with a pack that had a design she deemed suitable. Emmett then splashed her pants with water, thoroughly making sure it looked like she'd had an accident of mass proportions. Everyone had a moment of complete silence, and then burst out laughing, Alice included.

We all went to Newton's Outfitters first. Alice got out of the car with us following and walked in with her pack of diapers. As it would happen, Mike Newton was just arriving for his shift. He stared at Bella for a moment, causing me to growl, but turned to the direction of her snickers. His eyes flickered to, me, Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper before finally settling on Alice. They nearly popped out of his head when he noticed her "accident" and the diapers she was holding. His jaw almost fell to the ground. Alice pretended to be wrapped up in some sort of camping gear and acted as if she didn't know Newton was eyeing the "accident" and her diapers.

After leaving Newton's Outfitters and telling my family all about how Mike kept screaming Oh. My. God. over and over in his head, our laughing fits continued as Alice flaunted her diapers to everyone she passed. She went into random buildings and made us double over, and Bella had tears in her eyes.

We visited nearly every place in Forks, but soon we returned home. We collapsed onto the living room furniture, but not after I caught Bella from nearly tripping and landing on her face. Ah, how I loved it when she blushed.

Emmett was now choking out words in between guffaws. "That... was so...hilarious...Newton's face...priceless."

When everyone had calmed down, largely due to Jasper's influence, I could hear Alice thinking about who to dare and what she would make them do wile she changed pants. Some were relatively mild, while others were so outlandishly crazy I hoped that my Bella wouldn't have to do them. Ever.

Whoever Alice picked – and I had a sinking feeling that I knew who it was – she obviously didn't want be to know. She simply thought, I want it to surprise everyone, Edward. Then her mind was filled with Glamorous by Fergie.

"Alright!! Time to continue our game!!!" Alice squealed as she ran down the stairs and perched next to Jasper. "I dare..."

A/N: When I said as soon as possible I meant it. I'm bored, what was I supposed to do? I wanted to wait to post this, but I had the time to write and just had to update. Within three hours. Sorry if it sucks. Oh and uh, could you please do me a favor... maybesortakindacouldyoureview? K,thx bye!