Note: I referred to Burr's wife as Theodosia and Burr's daughter as Theo to avoid any confusion.
Burr wished he could say he'd felt disgusted.
Wished he could have looked upon the words chronicling Hamilton's affair and immediately watch as any shred of respect he had for the man vanished.
Unfortunately, that wasn't what happened.
He went through a range of emotions, starting with complete astonishment. He'd locked himself away inside his house, not wanting to trouble his wife and daughter with the news. They didn't know Hamilton personally, so perhaps they wouldn't care, but this was cheating, and he intended to keep Theo's innocence intact for as long as possible.
Why, why would Hamilton publish the affair? More importantly, why was Burr even surprised? He was a little disgruntled as he had been hoping to keep this information to himself and use it against him later, then guessed that Hamilton would come up with some insane way to cope with it.
But this?
He felt a twinge of pity for Hamilton's wife and family. Theo looked up to him unconditionally, and thought he could do no wrong. He knew that vision would disappear someday, but at least his mistakes would be the same as everyone else's. But not for Hamilton. As much as he disliked the man, he'd always had a bit of understanding when it came to how he loved his son. This would shatter his son's image of him-and so soon too.
The thought of understanding Hamilton of all people gave way to another emotion: sympathy. Very grudging sympathy, but it was still there. Besides the way they treated their children, they also had an affair in common.
Burr was never proud of his affair. Yes, he wouldn't give Theodosia up for the world, but that doesn't mean he was happy with how he'd gotten to her. He'd been with her while she was married to another man.
Then, he remembered what the people had been saying, that though Hamilton's wife hadn't made an official statement, she could be seen walking through the streets. People swore they saw dry tears and a hollow look of despair. Some even said they'd witnessed her crying.
Clearly, the affair was putting her in pain. Was this what Burr had done to…no…
He caught a glimpse of Theodosia and immediately his mind pushed that away. Theodosia was married, but the marriage was loveless. Married to a man who was fighting for a side she didn't even believe in. She was tied by the constraints of society and still managed to save the revolution in her own way. At first it was admiration. Then adoration. Then love.
Love. That was it. That was the key. Burr had seen Theodosia's personality and could not ignore its beauty. Their conversations would leave him feeling like Ben Franklin with a key and a kite. He was well known for having a completely blank expression, but after meeting her he'd have a small smile on his face, even when he was just thinking.
But Hamilton already had a woman that he'd loved, or that he should have loved. When he saw Maria, that was it. He only saw her. Her appearance, her body. Not her personality. They likely weren't even compatible. It was all physical. A relationship as devoid of love as Theodosia and her husband, Maria and James Reynolds.
It was even clear in the pamphlet, though Hamilton was ashamed of his actions, he also blamed Maria. How she'd seduced him.
Burr didn't blame Theodosia. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to live without her. He wasn't sure if he blamed Maria either. Yes, she'd ended up getting him blackmailed, but she was trapped in a loveless marriage. No, an abusive one...
…And there was Theo, coercing him to come out of his hiding place. As Burr stumbled out, he quickly hid the pamphlet in his pocket, crumbling the paper.
"What are you doing?" Theo eyed him suspiciously. As much as he wanted her to leave him alone, he couldn't help but he proud that he had a raised a daughter who would never let anyone walk over her. Hopefully, it would be enough to keep her safe.
"Nothing." Wasn't he supposed to be a lawyer?
Theo watched him carefully.
"Really, it's nothing. Why don't you write letters to that new friend you were telling me about?"
"Oh, you mean Philip!" Theo asked eagerly.
"Philip?"
She froze. "Philip…a.. Phillipa. That's their name."
"We'll have to meet each other some time." He wasn't trying to distract Theo anymore. Obviously as her father, it was his solemn duty to meet and interrogate anyone she came into contact with to make sure they would never hurt her.
Still, it worked and she finally left him alone. He walked through the house, a tornado still swirling in his mind. He had to admit, he felt a little happy that his enemy had essentially destroyed his reputation. Yes, it made him feel guilty but at least he wasn't gloating. Unlike Thomas Jefferson.
Honestly, was that supposed to be a victory dance of some sort?
Even that thought couldn't distract him. He couldn't deny how uncomfortable it was to have something so unique in common with his enemy. The situations were different, but when all the details were stripped away, they looked identical.
It was very easy to dislike Hamilton, after all. Their ideologies, the very morals they lived their lives by were the complete opposite. Hamilton was everything Burr wasn't, everything Burr didn't want to be.
Yet this had brought up an unwanted memory, a memory from a time where Burr and Hamilton were friends. Hesitant friends, but still. When Hamilton, while quite annoying, was still at least entertaining to speak to. When they had bonded over their shared flirtations and goals. When Burr had congratulated Hamilton on his marriage and admitted his affair.
"She's married."
"I see." Hamilton's second reply hadn't been very kind, but this one? Calm, understanding. The behavior that would have earned Burr a shouting from anyone else was being acknowledged by Hamilton. And it was fine. Then, he'd been grateful that Hamilton understood.
Now, he was anything but.
A new emotion grasped him, this time a feeling of dread. While they'd had opposing ideologies for much of their lives, Burr had recently taken Hamilton's advice of not throwing away his shot and ran for Senator. It had worked out in his favor. But it had worked out in Hamilton's favor too. At first. Now, it had ruined him.
Would it ruin Burr too?
But as his eyes came upon the person he'd been searching for: his beautiful wife, Burr gently shook the thought away. It would be alright. After all, he had Theodosia, and that was all he needed.
Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it…I'm sorry. But seriously, Burr and Theodosia need more love in this fandom. And about Maria, did you all know the real life Aaron Burr was actually Maria's lawyer for getting her out of her marriage? Wish that'd been included. Thank you all for reading, please leave a review! Next up is the Reynolds.
