Holy Smokes you guys' amaze me :) :D. Thank you all SO MUCH for the reviews and all that other jazz. I'm glad you guys' liked it. I would have posted this sooner, but it was Holy Week (Happy late Easter to anyone who celebrates it, and if you don't I hope you had a Great weekend.), but now that it is over, here is the next chapter. Enjoy
This time it is in Lilly's POV.
Disclaimer: I own nothing
--x--
There she goes. My best friend, heading into her movie career and leaving me her with the doughnut Oliver. I will not let her live this down. I sigh and walk down to sit on her porch. I said goodbye to her at her house, now I don't want to leave. I don't want all the memories gone, all the laughs, all the good and bad, all the hugs, all the love. Loving Miley, I smile, hugging Miley, holding hands with Miley, anything with Miley. But my smile fades when I realize she will be gone for a month. A whole month. I wish her well but I just wish she was here. What am I suppose to do for a whole month without her?
I kick a rock that is near my foot. I don't want to leave, I don't want to move. Suddenly, someone comes sits next to me and puts there hand on my shoulder, Oliver. "It's only for a month Lils, you can handle that, you've always been the tough strong one."
I breathe in deeply. "I know Oliver, I know." Maybe on the surface, but on the inside I was weak, especially around Miley. I always felt in someway Miley was the strong one. I may have psychical strength, but not emotional, and that is what I admire about Miley. She could turn anything into deep meaning, something simple; guess that is why she is becoming such a great song writer. She feels with her heart, where I feel with my brain, well sometimes. I at least try to anyway. But my brain cannot win the battle for that much longer. If you haven't guessed yet, Miley is the reason my heart keeps disagreeing with my brain. She has captivated me, with her blue eyes, slim body, and southern voice I was just so taken in by her, and I don't want to leave. I think I have fallen for her, fallen in love, but that is what is wrong.
My brain says it's wrong, my heart says its right. Its like I got the devil and the angel inside of me instead of on my shoulder, and the angel, my heart, is winning. Ironic though isn't it? I mean an angel is close to God, God who says this is wrong, and the devil well he is the devil and he should be the one telling me to go for it, yet he is the one telling me not to do it. The angel is the one telling me to follow my heart, to tell her how I feel. But I can't do that. The outcome will be catastrophic. The world would stop, the people would stop, my heart would stop. What people search for and long for: love, I detest. It's eating me alive. I can't love, well I can, but I can't love Miley, its wrong and there is nothing in this universe that I could do to stop loving Miley.
--x--
It's only been two days, yet I'm so bummed. I've pretty much have done nothing. I'm becoming boring, so boring I'm putting myself to sleep. I try to skate, surf, and all that but my thoughts always drift back to Miley. This has to be unhealthy. It's scary. I've thought I'd loved someone but it was all a lie and joke, I've gone through lust, but I've never had both, and with Miley it is both, especially since she is not here. I want her so badly right now, I'm just afraid. How could I want someone so badly? I could I love and lust? I yearn to hug and touch Miley again, but-but I can't. I never can. She is boy crazy, insanely boy crazy; she never once even looked at a girl, so what makes me believe that she could ever fall for me? Miley likes boys, I like Miley, and the world hates me. Perfect.
I flop down on my bed and jam my earphones in my ears as I turn on my iPod. I close my eyes. I have to forget. I have to forget all about Miley. Well not Miley in general but all my feelings for her. I have to hide them, sneak them away and hope they will never surface. But how? How do you get rid of half of who you are? How could you just throw your heart away and leave it, believing you will be alright, when in reality you want to search for it again. To have it, to hold it. I makes you feel good, loved, wanted, it's like you are high but not on drugs. I sigh. I have to forget. Maybe not by how but by whom. Maybe I will find someone else; well I doubt that, I sure can try.
I'm suddenly shaken by my door blasting open and Oliver standing in the door way. I sit up and taking out my earphones. "Alright Lilly," Oliver walks over and grabs my arm lifting me up off my bed. "I can't take it anymore!" He grabs on my shoulders and looks deep into my eyes with his own dark brown ones. "You are going to get happy my friend, get dressed, there is a beach party and we are going." I guess I could. The first step into forgetting Miley, have fun without her.
--x--
Oliver and I are at the beach and I'm bored. I could've done this at home, but no Oliver dragged me down here with people I could careless about, and now I have to suffer through this.
I'm sitting at Rico's, just sitting, and watching everyone else have a good time. Forgetting Miley is going to be harder than I thought.
An hour has already gone by and I'm pretty sure the party is almost over. I did nothing but sit here at Rico's. Had a bite to eat and something to drink, and that is it.
"So you gonna do it?" My attention is drawn to two people behind me. I eavesdrop, trying to figure out who they are and what they are up to.
"Should I?" His best friend replies building this guys confidence. "Your right, I'll just go up to her and say 'Lilly, would you like to dance?' piece of cake." My eyes grow wide as I listen in. Right now I could forget about the friend and focus on the guy who wants to ask me to dance. Nose Whistle Wally.
Panic. How do I get out of this? "Hey Lils," I turn my head and spot Oliver. "How's it going?"
Oliver! "Dance with me!" I didn't ask I demanded, Oliver didn't have time to react, and before he knew it we were dancing. And of course a nice slow song comes on. Great. But at least I'm away from Nose Whistle Wally.
We danced close, the rhythm of the music taking control of our feet and before I realized what I was doing, I was leaning my head on in the crook of Oliver's neck, and he rested his head on top of mine, then I felt him smile. "What?" I ask, with slight humor.
"Nothing," Oliver grows tense. "It's just that, umm your hair, it smells like apples, I-I like apples." I smile at Oliver. He may be a doughnut but he is cute. I lean into him a little more and he wraps his arms tighter around me. I never thought about Oliver like this before. It's nice, his arms are strong, and I feel safe, maybe just maybe he could be my potential boyfriend. This would be the second step into forgetting about Miley: getting a boyfriend.
--x--
Its over. Not me and Oliver, but the month. Miley is coming home and I could not be happier. In this month Oliver and I have been great and I think I found the key into forgetting Miley. I'm so excited the fact that she is coming home and that my feelings are gone. I wont have to worry about slipping up, worry about if our hugs are to long, or if we hold hands, because I wont feel anything. It will be all gone.
"Hurry up Oliver, she'll be hear any minuet!" Oliver rolls his eyes as he finishes setting up the balloons in the Stewart home. I go around making sure everything looks perfect. This will be great but weird. I cannot even remember the last time I talked to Miley and now she is coming home.
No more than five minuets go by when the Stewart's front door swings open. Miley. Oliver and I greet her and I run into her open arms. She wraps her arms around me and I bury my face into her shoulder. I squeeze her tight and pull her into me as much as humanly possible. I missed her. I then pull away so Oliver can hug her next and we start discuss all about her new movie. "So how was Chase Crawford?" She gets this dreamy look on her face, probably reminiscing about kissing, good thing I'm over her, or else this would hurt.
"So uh what have you guys been up to?" I smile what haven't we been up to. Oliver and I discuss what we have been doing but never telling her that we are together. She can't know, not now, not ever. What would she think? I can't keep it from her though. We tell each other everything, well almost everything. And I show her a picture of when it almost rained and she smiled, which caused me to smile. Her eyes sparkled as she saw "her" beach. I come up with the idea of how we should all go and hang out at Rico's after she goes to get change. She hugs us, Oliver and I, with me squashed in the middle.
She runs upstairs and Oliver gets a look of longing and lust in his eye. I give him a sexy smile back and when he asks how long she will be I reply with a ten to fifteen minuets. He asks me if he was thinking what he was thinking and my reply was to lean into him as our lips met. Our lips glided across each other in harmony. It was soft, but sloppy. Oliver had this tendency to cover my whole mouth and sometimes I hated that. But there was nothing I could do. His arms wrapped around me as we continue the kiss. But then Miley popped into my head. I saw her eyes and her smile, and then I wondered what it would be like, to hold her, and kiss. I had to stop the kiss. How bad is that? Kissing your boyfriend and start to think about your best friend. I pull away and I could tell Oliver is hungry for more. I cannot help how I feel so I ask Oliver for the millionth time that I think we should tell Miley. She will be upset if we don't. Oliver still disagrees, although he is right, I mean Miley and I do kind of boss him around, pick on him, make fun of him. It would be weird that all of sudden me and him started dating, but it's not unlikely. I agree with Oliver, we'll wait, but I don't think I could handle this for too long.
--x--
Miley and I get our food at Rico's as Oliver went to go get us some drinks. It feels as if it has been forever since her and I have had any Miley Lilly time, but maybe it's just coming with age. I mean in about two years will be graduating, going to college, living on our own, I guess its time to grow up. But apart of me doesn't want to I like the now and I don't want the future. Apart me believes I may have buried all my feelings for Miley and did not get rid of them and even if I do grow up I will never get rid of them. They are still there and I know that they are still there. But what can I do? I can't control my feelings. Right when she walked through that door, my dam broke, and all my feelings came flooding back. What about Oliver? He'll be crushed he supposedly loves me. How can I give him my heart when Miley already holds it? I can't. Maybe I can't do this. Forget about Miley, get a boyfriend. Maybe Oliver and I should end it.
Miley and I sit down at a table as we wait for Oliver to come back. Miley then continues talking after she fooled me about a dog being a famous movie star. "Any who, since my wig out days are over anything you want to tell me girl to girl," I look at Miley. Don't tell me she knows. She can't know can she? How could she possible know, Oliver and I didn't even do anything. She leans in closer to me and I find it hard to breath. My mouth grows dry as I stare at her. She is beautiful and sexy at the same how could anyone not fall for her? "Best friend to best friend."
My mouth hangs open and my heart feels as if it might jump out of my chest. How could Miley do this to me? I trip over my words before I look away from her and see Oliver come to our table. Thank God. "Hey look Oliver's here with the drinks, boy have we missed you." I see Miley pull away with a hurt and disappointed look not on her face but in her eyes, and I would be the only one to know, Miley can't really hide anything from me I know her to well. Oliver then makes a comment on how he forgot straws but I pull him back down. "No we don't need straws." If he leaves Miley might interrogate me again and I just might have the urge to throw down on the table and kiss her.
Out of the corner of my eye I see Miley grow frustrated. I want to ask what is up but then she talks about how cute and considerate Oliver is. "What!?" Oliver and I both respond, although mine was louder and probably sounded more frightened. Miley, doesn't like Oliver does she? I mean I know the chances of her and I being together are like none and a million but she can't like Oliver. I like her, Oliver likes me, she just can't. She then ruffles my hair as she says I'm not slouch. Hey she called me cute!
"Yeah…y'know what, you, you guys should date," Miley's face is all happy and then gets all serious. "And then not tell me about it!" She knows, I put my head down and lean back in my seat.
I slightly look at her with pleading eyes, hoping she is not mad. "How'd you find out?"
She leans forward and rests her arms on the table. "Maybe next time y'all want to keep a secret y'all shouldn't have a spit swap in the middle of my living room Lilly-POP!" Lilly-Pop and Lilly-Pad are the two nicknames my boyfriends have given to me and I think that they are the cutest thing, until Miley says them. I have always wondered what cute pet name Miley would give me, but like that would ever happen.
"See I told you she would freak." Duh. How could she not? Her best friend starting to date her best guy friend, after each showed no interest in one of the other could be quite alarming. I look at Miley, she is hurt. And now I am. I hurt her; I hurt her because I wanted to forget about her. I wanted to push my feelings aside and not care where they went, but that did not work. I went behind her back and started to date Oliver and in my process of trying to let my heart from having theses feelings, I hurt her.
"I'm only freaking because you guy's didn't tell me," My attention shifts to Miley and she looks deep into my eyes I'm slightly intimidated. "I'm happy for you." Fear leaves me but sadness lingers. Miley cant and never will love me, she is okay with Oliver and me dating…rats. To bad I'm not. I actually don't think I ever was. Oliver was like a replacement, yet did not replace, I just used him, great now I'm the bad guy. To play along I 'awww' at what Miley and told Oliver and I told her that I was right. She then asks how it all happened and I smile at the memory as I lean on Oliver's shoulder as a smile forms on my face. A fake smile, a smile to fool the world, to fool Miley. She then asks what song played as we danced and I answered Radiohead as Oliver said Coldplay. I quickly pull away from him and this quickly starts an argument. Not wanting to deal with this I call Oliver twelve years old and get up and walk away. He follows. And we fight more. My nostrils flare and I'm angry, this was a mistake. Miley then comes up and tries to stop us. "Look I'm sorry I brought it up, who cares."
No Miley don't be sorry. This is my chance. I could take all the hurt away. I could break up with Oliver. Take Miley somewhere and be all vulnerable and such and then tell her, tell her the truth. Oliver then gets madder at me as I mock him still being twelve and moves over to Miley. No way. He is not getting Miley on his side, she is mine, she will choose me, feelings or not, Miley and I are still best girlfriends, girls stick together through everything. "Miley," Oliver then points to me as he talks. "Will you please tell that one to grow up!"
"That one!" I take Oliver's arm and pull him away from Miley, my Miley and stand beside her. "Wait you forget my name now too? C'mon Miley lets go." I grab her arm and I'm ready to pull her away, take her to a secluded part of the beach and tell her my true feelings. But her arm slips from my grasp as she pulls away. I turn to look at her surprised that she doesn't want to come with me. Why? Don't Miley, don't play hero and fix this. Oliver is not what I want, its you it's always been you and it will always be you.
Oliver then probably thinks that she is on his side and speaks up. "Yeah she is not going anywhere 'cause your obviously wrong."
I make a comeback saying the worst thing that I could think of that would officially mean the ending of Oliver and I. "Oh I'll tell what is wrong, when I picked you as a boyfriend."
"You guys," Miley steps in and I know she is going to do her best and try to help us but I don't want help. "Please stop fighting, this is ridiculous." Miley then does her best to help Oliver and me recapture the first night we got together but neither of us would have it. I know I can not drag Miley away now but hopefully she will follow me home, as Oliver and I say one last word to each other and both march off the beach.
--x--
Three days have gone by and I have not spoken to Oliver, and we have both been pushing Miley around like she is the tennis ball and we are the tennis rackets. She did not follow me like I thought she would. But she stayed at the beach till after mid-night. I guess she really wants Oliver and me to be together.
But why? She seemed so upset that we were together at first it seemed as if she was trying to break us up. I guess I just had high hopes, but I guess I could fall now. Miley will never accept who I am and never accept my love. We'll never date, get married, have kids, and grow old together. I guess the only that things could be perfect is if they are in a dream, and a dream is not reality.
I'm at Rico's, sitting away from Oliver, and I just finished my sandwich, but I left my curly fries, because, well because they are Miley's favorite and maybe I could lure her to my side with them. I then turn to see Miley coming up and Oliver and I both try to catch her attention. In the end she chooses me and my heart flutters in my chest. I show her how I saved her my curly fries because they are her favorite, just like I am her favorite. "'Cause I'm her FAVORITE!!!" I scream towards Oliver so that he knows. Miley tells me to cool out, we should be mature about it. I let out a breath and reply. "Fine, but only because you chose me."
I put my elbows on the table and my hands rest near my chin as I give Miley the best longing, loving look I could create. In those matters of seconds I truly see Miley. Her blue grayish eyes, brown flowing hair, slightly tanned skin, a good body shape. She is amazing, beautiful and gorgeous. "And I'm also choosing you to see the first rough cut of Indiana Joannie." I gasp and get all happy and excited, this is one of the coolest things ever and Miley chose one of her special moments to share it with me. She then continues to talk, getting a sad expression on how she should tell Oliver on why she did not pick him. Always the hero Miles. I sigh and unwillingly let her do so.
--x--
I walk up the street to Miley's house and I already smell the popcorn emitting from the living room. "Ohh I smell…you!" I slam the door and I grow daggers in my eyes as I see Oliver. What in the world is he doing here? She chose me. I tell Oliver the exact same time he tells me and I start to panic. Where is Miley? "Miley!?" I then hear a bullwhip from behind me and I turn around just as the front door opens and there is Miley decked out in her Indiana Joannie outfit. Now I know why the guy was so popular, Miley looks freaking hot, and if I wasn't mad right now, I think I would do something about it, but I have to control my hormones.
Miley then forces Oliver and me to sit on the couch and watch the movie but it is not the movie that I thought it would be. Its Miley, dressed up like Oliver and I, the day we fought. I instantly feel terrible and stupid; we seriously acted like that out in public? I turn my head slightly, pretending to look at Oliver, but I'm really gazing at Miley. A small smile, very small, forms on my lips. She really went out of her way didn't she? She cares about Oliver and me so much. I turn away; I don't want to look at her. I've lost her when I never even had her. I guess its time for me to move on. And that is what you should do. You love someone you let them go. I could do that. I can never say goodbye to Miley, I could never let her leave, but I could try and say goodbye to my feelings for her. Goodbye Miley.
The screen goes black and I refuse to look at either of them. "Look I don't know if you are meant to be a couple," Me either. "But I do know you were meant to be friends, please I do not want to watch you through that away over this fight." She's right. I turn my head and look from her to Oliver, and he looks back at me. He agrees. Its time to put on an act, maybe I could love Oliver. Oliver and I gush about how we are sorry and how much we missed each other then we lean in for a kiss, which Miley stops. Thank the Lord for Miley.
Oliver and I are standing in the door of Miley's house, Oliver's arm wrapped around me, and Miley looking uncomfortable by the second. Maybe this is the way it has to be. Me with a boy and her with a boy, growing old together, getting a family, and being just friends. Maybe we are better off this way. We say our goodbyes and Oliver and I head off into the night.
--x--
Can someone, anyone, take control of your whole life, you lose yourself? I feel as if Oliver and I have. I pretty much spent every waking moment with him. I don't talk to my parents, I can't pay attention in school, and I have not seen Miley in two weeks. I miss her. I miss hanging out with her, being with her, laughing with her, all the things that we used to do together. I know she has been busy with Hannah, but she didn't even invite Lola or Mike to come along. She is upset, she is mad at Oliver and me, but mostly I think she is mad at me. And I'm not even there to help her when she is down, because I'm the problem.
Am I in love? In love with Oliver? How is that possible? No it can't be. I may not know what love it, but I know what I feel with Oliver is not love, it's the fact that he makes me feels special, that someone thinks I'm special and beautiful, I've fallen in love with that security not him. I know deep down inside I think I found the definition of love in Miley. I should go see her.
I blow off Oliver tonight, I called him and told him I was busy, he sadly understood, I almost did not come here. Here to Miley's house that is. But I have not seen or heard her in forever. Well maybe not forever since forever never ends, but you get what I mean. I knock on the door and Mr. Stewart greets me with a smile, telling me to head right on up to Miley's room. I smile back and thank him. I go upstairs to Miley's room, but she is not in there. "Miley?" I look around and notice that her door to outside is slightly open, I go over and head outside on the deck and look around before looking up, there she is, on her roof. Great, she is upset, more so than I thought. "Miley?" Miley springs forward from her lying position and looks at me. I smile and she smiles back, which makes me happier, okay maybe she is not completely mad at me. "Can I come up?" She nods and I make my way over to the side of her house so I could climb up and get on the roof. And boy was it harder than I thought it would be. Miley offers me her hand and I gladly take, I then take my free hand and wrap it around her neck, while she wraps her free arm around my waist, and I can not believe how amazing it feelings to have Miley hold me. She then pulls me up, I never realized how strong she was, and I breath fast to catch my breath. "Thanks." I say tired.
"N-no problem." She stutters, what the heck can I do to make her stutter? As I move over to sit next to her, she leans back down and is lying on her back.
I'm scared. My Miley was always happy and smiling, that is how she got her name, she is rarely down, and I cannot but help and feel that it was my fault. "Miley." Nothing. My heartbeat goes faster, I don't want to lose her, she means everything to me. "Miley? Please?" I take her hand and she hardly reacts as I squeeze it tight. "I know you are upset, I know you better than anyone Miles, and I know you are starting to feel left out when you are around Oliver and I and I'm sorry. Please look at me." She doesn't. I know she is angry but I don't think she has a right to ignore me. I mean come on, my voice is practically begging here. I then lower myself down so I am propped up on my elbow, my hand still holding her limp one. "C'mon Miles." I move my hand and rest it on her right cheek and gaze at her beauty, especially in the moonlight, maybe I could spark something. I then travel my hand and it goes up to her full brown hair. "I haven't heard your voice in forever, talk to me Miles."
She sighs, whew I guess that is something. "Lilly…" My name, I never liked my name, Lilly was okay, but I still never liked it, but I love it coming from her, especially with her southern twang to it. She sits up and gently takes me with her, and I take this as an opportunity to move in and I rest my head on her shoulder.
"Miley I'm sorry, look I don't want to lose you, you are too important to me," Its weird I'm happy and sad at the exact same moment. Happy I'm resting on Miley, sad that I hurt her, hurt her because Oliver has also grown on to me so he is important too. "But Oliver is important to me too," Miley has been flipping amazing for all the she has put up with, so why not tell her? "I could not thank you enough for what you sacrificed and what you did to get us back together." Thinking I would get a 'your welcome' in response I don't. Instead she pulls her hand away from mine. What is wrong? "Miley?"
"Lilly, w-we need to talk." Miley moves away from me. Now I'm hurt and worried. What Miley just said was a break up line, now I know we are not going out, but what was the point of a break up line?
I panic, I can't lose Miley. "O-okay," I look into Miley's eyes but they are blocked, the only thing I'm receiving is ice. If my heart was beating fast before well now it is pounding. "About what." Dang, my voice cracked, I guess I wont be able to stay strong, like always Miley is.
"Lilly I-I can't do this anymore. I love you and Oliver, but this," She motions between her and I, I swallow hard in my throat, don't do it Miles, please don't say what I think you are going to say. "This is too hard; I just can't do it Lilly."
My eyes desperately move frantically as I look into hers searching for an answer a reason why, but my vision is soon block as tears start to form. "What? Do what be friends?" She nods I have no thoughts. "No," I pull my eyes away for a second and responded with an above whisper voice. "No Miley no." I look at her and see tears forming in her own eyes. Miley I love you, I need you, don't leave me.
"Lils," I close my eyes as she says my name and as I do I feel my hot tears drip past my eyelids and down my cheeks. Why? That is the only thing I could think of why? "Lilly," She wants my attention. But I don't want to give it to her, this is a dream, if I wake up she will be gone, this is not real, but I do it anyway. I see her face and even though she too looks like she is on the verge of tears she has no expression. "I'm sorry, I know that you care about me, but Oliver has become your life, practically your whole life, you have turned oblivious to everything, and I just feel like I'm not in it, so why pretend that I'm not, why not make it real?" Cause it will kill me. She then looks away and bites her lip a nervous habit she always had and I always adored, but now not so much.
It was only two weeks, how could she be this upset after two weeks? I didn't mean to, I realized I was losing myself I just didn't do anything to stop it because I thought she would save me, like always, a hero, my hero. "Okay, well I'll stop, Miley I'll, I'll-"
"No Lilly." Miley turns around and grips my hands into hers, I hold on for dear life. She has been my lifeline, well, she has been my rock, my hero, she made me fly, hopefully she won't let me fall, but a tug on my heart says she will. "Maybe Lilly, maybe some day, but right now you are with Oliver, and when you could learn to not make him apart of your whole life, we can try again. But not until then." I wish time would freeze, my own world did, why not the real one? Before I know what is happening Miley pulls me into her embrace, and I fasten on, tight. I bury my head into her neck and breathe in her scent, who knows, this might be the last time I do so. Then I cry. I knew she was always the stronger one, until I feel her cry. I hold on tighter, wishing this moment never happened, and never wanting this moment to end. She rubs my back and whispers encouraging words in my ear but in my opinion the damage is done, and nothing will be the same again.
I don't want to lose her, not like this. I was picturing us doing everything together, the only possible way we could lose touch was with death, and knock on wood that that does not happen. I then sniff softly and pull away, dreading the moment I did it. Miley then reaches out and wipes away my fallen tears. I close my eyes and do my best to burn Miley's touch in my mind. "I'm going to do it Miley. I'll fix everything; get my grades up, everything. I'll get you back Miles." Count on it.
She smiles, its fake, I think, maybe tired? "I'm already counting the days Lil." I'm not mad, there is no point in being mad, I mean I guess I could be, I could start a huge blow out, but I refuse. The door is closed but not locked and I'll turn the handle someday, and get welcomed back into this friendship, I will fix this friendship. I give Miley my own reassuring smile, then climb down off the roof.
"I'll see you soon?" I'm pleading, but I do not care.
She nods. "Never goodbye, only till next time." I nod. The third step into forgetting Miley: Don't forget Miley.
--x--
Okay, well umm…I was juggling in this being a two-shot or a three-shot, I could make it a three-shot, but I rather have your guys' opinions. So would you guys' like a final chapter? Or leave it as is? It's all up to you guys'. Till then :). (maybe)