"Bellamy!" I cry, spinning around as I watch the chaos around me, searching the faces of the hundred to find his. Finn shifts beside me, and I can only hope he is looking for Bellamy as desperately as I am.
"I trust him!" I try not to let my already spoken words echo in my mind as I pray with everything in me that Finn will get over the fact that I may actually have a friendship with someone that's not him, and help me find Bellamy.
"Clarke! There!" I hear him shout over the yells echoing around the camp we had spent weeks building. Pointlessly. Yet all my previous thoughts fly out of my head at Finn's words and I immediately snap my head over to where he is looking.
Then I see him, fighting who I had began to assume was the leader of this attack. I watch as he points a gun at the mans face and pulls the trigger, but there is no rewarding bang. I could imagine the slight click it made, and Bellamy looks down at it helplessly. In that moment, I don't give two shits how much of an ass Bellamy has ever been to me, or anyone for that matter, I just want to help him.
I jolt up from where I am crouched, but before I can make a break for him, Finn's arm wraps around my wrist, pulling me back down. Holding onto me so tightly that I can't break my arm free.
"Let me go!" I cry, wrenching my arm away from his, however, his clasp does not budge. I avert my eyes back to Bellamy, who is being beaten severely by the grounder, who has drawn his sword on an unarmed Bellamy.
I bring my eyes back to Finn's, knowing very well they are watering, and I begin to plead.
"You have to let me go, please Finn," I say, but his resolve doesn't budge. I look back at Bellamy.
"He's going to kill him!" I cry out, trying to break my arm free of his grasp again. But he makes no move to let me go.
"Clarke, think about this, what are you going to do? You don't have a weapon, and if Bellamy can't beat him, what makes you think you can?" Finn's words fly right over my head as I watch Bellamy be struck again, and I fall to my knees.
My eyes find Finn's and something suddenly seems to click for him as he stares into my broken expression. His eyes harden and he finally releases my arm, before turning on his heel and running straight toward the grounder chief attacking Bellamy.
"No!" I call out, feeling more tears splash down my cheeks. "I can't lose you both!" I cry, but he doesn't hear me, he's over at Bellamy's side, and together, they begin to battle the grounder. But he is much larger than them, much stronger, and he's the one holding the sword. Not Finn. Not Bellamy.
I choke back a sob as I stand slowly, walking toward the dropship. Miller ushers me inside and I place my hand on the lever. The lever that will shut out Bellamy and Finn and leave them to die with the rest of the grounders and the people left behind.
"Finn and Bellamy?" I hear Jasper question, sounding strained. I swallow hard and clench my jaw, unable to even answer with words. I slowly shake my head and turn away instantly so he can't see the tears that are threatening to fall.
I lift my hand to the lever and close my fist around it. Then, slowly but surely, I pull down on it, and hear the mechanical hum as the giant door on the dropship closes slowly. I keep hoping that they will just hop in the top, that they will be okay. But I know it's pointless. Hope is pointless.
So instead of watching the opening and waiting for them to enter, I close my eyes and let out a shaky breath. I pretend that I'm back on the ark. I pretend that I'm with my father, and that he's telling me everything's going to be okay. I pretend I can't hear the hiss as the doors come to a close, blocking out any chances of them coming back.
I feel a tear drip down my face, yet I wipe it away immediately, turning back to Jasper to watch as he blasts off. To watch as he burns all the grounders out there, who are now banging on the sides of the metal ship. To watch him kill the two most important people on the ground to me.
My eyes fly open and I sit up in bed, panting and looking from side to side, half expecting a grounder to jump out of the darkness and put an end to my pathetic, lonesome half-life.
However, I quickly remembered where I was, and felt a slight wave of relief wash over me. Bellamy wasn't dead, I didn't kill him way back then on our first few weeks on the ground.
But a lot of the time, it felt like he was. For all I know, he could be. I bite my lip as I try to think of something else. That is, until I hear shuffling on the other side of the room.
I instantly reach for my gun, pointing the small pistol, toward the noise. It was practically pitch black in here, only a slight ray from the moon illuminating a small patch of the ground through a window.
Then he stepped out of the shadows and saw me, pointing the gun at him threateningly. He seemed unfazed.
Of course he did, Clarke. He's not even him. I think, hearing Bellamy's voice in the back of my mind.
"Bad dream?" He asks. I can't help but roll my eyes.
"You're not really here." I state, not bothering to answer his question.
"Yeah, I know." He says, and I almost feel a pang of guilt for him. For a hallucination.
God, Clarke, either you're going crazy, or you've had one too many cups of Monty's moonshine.
"Why are you here?" I grumble, beginning to grow annoyed with him.
"I don't know, you tell me." He says with a shrug, which only frustrates me further. I stand up from my bed, walking toward him slowly.
He eyes me as I walk right up to him, stopping a few inches from his face. I inspect him up close, every freckle, every dimple, every scar, every flaw. It's actually amazing that my mind can create something so real and shove it right in my face.
The human brain is impressive.
"It's because I miss you," I say, my voice cracking over the sentence, and he tenses. Like real Bellamy would whenever I said anything that implied talking about emotions. He was funny that way.
He just smiles lightly, and I smile back, not ceasing to inspect every inch of his face.
I enjoy this moment while it lasts, and as we're staring into each others eyes, I almost forget that he isn't really here. That this isn't really him.
Almost.
. . .
that's chapter two! what do you think? as you probably noticed, the memory she dreamed about wasn't exactly what happened but i just decided to have fun with it. I still tried to follow the basic story line, though. i hope you enjoyed! please leave a review about what you thought!