His long, but still short-ish hair caressed the hem of his robes. It fell gracefully into those gorgeous, penetrating gray eyes. Those damned eyes. The same that made his mind go blank and his heart violently stutter in his chest just with a simple glance. Hungrily, Sirius continued to drink in the sight of Remus. His adorable nose, jutting delicately out from his angelic face. A small, soft bump gracing the arch. It spreads out into scarred cheeks. His cheeks that screamed his illness, his curse. The marks of a wolf. But instead of marring or distorting his features, the scars simply emphasized his amazing beauty. It was as if they traced his history, giving the looker a brief glimpse into his tortured nights under the full moon. He followed the trail of the longest scar across his lips.
His lips.
The palest shade of pink flesh, naturally pulling in the most delicious frown Sirius had ever seen. It was almost as if he had a pair of full, pouting rose petals lingering above his chin. God, how Sirius longed to taste those roses. To slide his tongue across those untouched lips, to be the first to taste him. He wanted to run his fingers through the mess of dirty blonde locks that lazily rolled into his eyes, over his eyes, nearly covering that wonderfully bitable neck. He truly was an amazing canvas of pale, gorgeously scarred skin that Sirius ached to make his mark upon.
He twitched slightly in his seat. Transfiguration was always one of the longest classes for
Sirius. Simply because he already knew all the material. He finished his homework early every day. Unfortunately that meant his eyes would wander. And when they wandered, they would always find there way to his friend.
Yeah, his friend. That how things were, and that's how they needed to stay. As much as it tore his heart apart to admit, Remus simply didn't love him the way Sirius loved him. He scoffed and rolled his eyes at that thought. Love was a terrible understatement. What he felt for Remus was more of a masochistic devotion. Like the God you can never touch. He wondered silently if this was what religion was like.
With an enormous amount of effort, Sirius was able to tear his eyes away from the werewolf and bury his head in his arms. He figured it was the teenage hormones, but then why did the rejection hurt so terribly? He could never stay away from Remus, but being around him hurt so much. Feeling him lean against his arm, the random hugs, or just a simple smile directed towards him had his heart breaking every time. He craved the touch, begged for it at times, even when that touch meant more rejection. More pain.
Remus knew. Of course he knew. Sirius was completely in love with him. Everyone knew. Sometimes, he wondered if he could love Sirius back. Whenever he turned and saw those dark eyes on him, the longing and love that burned behind them, he thought he may love Sirius as well. But that was stupid. He was a werewolf. It was much too dangerous to even consider being with him…
But lately, Remus can't stay away from the other wizard. He finds himself wondering why he even bothers staying away from Sirius. But when the moon glows radiantly, high in that god-awful sky, Remus remembers. He could never risk hurting Sirius. Physically or mentally. He wouldn't allow that to happen. Friends. They were just friends. And that is how it was going to stay.
Sirius lifted his head as McGonagall announced the class ending. He sighed with relief and rose sluggishly up from his desk, going over to smack James on the shoulder.
"You as bored as I am, mate?" Sirius muttered, voice still heavy with the few moments of sleep he managed to catch at the end of class.
James simply grinned and nodded, pointing over Sirius' shoulder. "I see someone who could cure that…"
Sirius turned and a grin broke out across his face. "Well, well, well. If it isn't Snivillus."
As he began pulling out his wand, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning, his heart jumped when he eyes landed on Remus, wearing a less then amused expression.
"Do you guys ever stop?" he complained. "We do have homework, you know."
James rolled his eyes and waved him off. "Whatever mate, I'm going to go see if I can find Evans." He gave Sirius the usually whack in the head before he nonchalantly wandered off in search of his girlfriend.
Sirius shook his head and turned to Remus. "How about you then? Wanna to do something before supper?" he prayed silently that Remus would blow off studying for just one night. He wanted a few hours of having Remus to himself.
"Sorry," he mumbled, shifting through papers in his arms, "way too much homework."
He sighed quietly and nodded. His heart sinking pathetically as he was once again denied time to be alone with him. "Alright then," he nodded again, trying to sound more upbeat then he truly was, "I'm going back to the dorms and catching some shut eye before supper then."
Remus looked up in concern and freed a hand, reaching up to lay it on Sirius' forehead. Sirius' heart nearly went through his chest.
"Do you feel ill?" he asked, voice laced with the concern a parent would have if their newborn coughed.
"I'm fine," he whispered, trying desperately not to lean into the warm hand against his face. "I'm just tired."
Much to Sirius' despair, Remus withdrew is hand and went back to shuffling through his mess of homework. "Alright then, go sleep."
Sirius nodded stole one for glance at his love, chuckling to himself at the sight of Remus lost in a sea of concentration and parchment. He turned on his heel and trudged back to the common room, dodging many girls and a few boys on the way there. They just didn't seem to understand only one person owned his heart and soul.
Once back to the common room, he darted up to the room James, Remus, Peter, and he shared. He fought the ridiculous urge to burying himself in Remus' pillow before flopping down on his bed. Sighing, he closed his eyes and lost himself in the usual fantasies of his love being returned, ranging from simply holding hands to something much "deeper".
He pulled his curtains closed and drifted to sleep, counting the minutes until he could see Remus again.