A/N: Hello everyone and Happy New Year! This chapter comes about one week later, but I seriously underestimated the time I would have free during this period. That said, I have one more chapter to add to this story and hopefully I'll be able to post it in a week or so.
I palm two tablets of aspirin and swallow them down with strong, black coffee, trying to stop the punishing headache from my reckless behavior the previous night. It's been years since I drank that much, and my body is making me pay the price. I finish my coffee and head towards the bathroom where I hope a nice, hot shower will help. After lingering as long as I can, there is little improvement, but at least my head is no longer trying to kill me.
In the bedroom, I make the bed and lay out what to wear for the day.
It's snowing hard; heavy, white snowflakes stick to the outside of my window, and when I leave my building the cold wind feels pleasant against my skin, providing some much needed relief to my once again pounding head. I take a deep breath, a foggy cloud expelled through my mouth and walk slowly in the clinic's direction. It's only a couple blocks away, and I'm thankful. Every day, I'm able to avoid the morning traffic, and enjoy the opportunity to stretch my legs, even if today I need to be careful with the slippery sidewalk, covered in ice.
When I arrive at the clinic, it seems like everyone is suffering from the same symptoms I am, and we can only hope that today will be slow, because I'm not sure if we're in the best condition to look after our patients.
I stop in my office to leave my briefcase, and immediately go to the break room where there's a congregation around the coffee machine. Everyone is either quiet or speaking in low voices, no one inclined to look at each other. With thinning patience, I wait for my turn, shoving my hands in the pockets of the coat I'm still wearing. Inside I find the small piece of paper that luck has chosen to give me.
Josh Sullivan, as in Josh from legal. I must've angered some very powerful gods in a past life. I angrily shove the piece of paper back inside my pocket and take my turn at the coffee machine.
Nestling the hot paper cup in my hands, I return to my office, passing by Cosima's lab. The hall is strictly used by staff, and her door is always open, whenever I pass by, I peek inside. Occasionally, our eyes meet, and she gives me one of her adorable smiles and I wave back. Unfortunately, more often than not, the peculiar young woman finds herself in the company of someone else. So often, in fact, that there have been days when I have avoided her door entirely, and chose the hallways open to our patients. Shay's a regular presence in the lab, seeming to enjoy spending her free time there, even if she has absolutely no business in the lab. Our practice has an open approach to all kinds of afflictions, and Shay's holistic approach to medicine means she has no use for Cosima's abilities.
As a principle, I have no issues when my patients choose to have a more alternative method to treat their health conditions, provided they continue the more conventional treatments. I think the whole thing is relatively harmless and it can help them on a more subconscious level. If they believe it will help them so be it, go for it, just don't stop taking the pills or complete the treatment I've prescribed.
No, my issues with Shay are not so much professional in nature as they are personal, and I'm well aware of this. If someone bothered to ask me, I wouldn't deny it. It annoys me that Shay has made an habit of spending every available moment in Cosima's lab. It annoys me that she's entirely too familiar with the little brunette, not wasting any opportunity to initiate any physical contact, or insert herself into a conversation she wasn't invited to. Her unreasonable positive outlook on life irritates me to the point where I ignore Shay's presence on the rare occasion we find ourselves in the same room.
And yes, I know that, given what she does, these characteristics are helpful to her patients. I simply find all those traits to be incredibly annoying and she definitely rubs me the wrong way. Of course I'm dismayed that Cosima doesn't seem to feel the same way, otherwise Shay certainly wouldn't feel so welcome in Cosima's domain, and they wouldn't be spending so much time together. The young scientist doesn't seem to share my views regarding the other woman.
That being said, this doesn't necessarily mean a whole lot or, at least, not as much until yesterday. While I've been keeping some distance from Cosima, and fought against her magnetic pull, thinking I'd be a third wheel, after last night I feel that's safe to assume that, if there's a third wheel in this, it most certainly isn't me. Cosima is more receptive to my interest when Shay is not in the picture, and that much seems obvious after last night. She's entirely too nice to bluntly reject Shay's overt advances, but there's no doubt in my mind that these are not reciprocated. And, thus, there's only one thing left for me to do: I need to get Cosima alone again, find a way to get that elusive privacy that seems to have escaped us so far.
And I know just how to get it.
I make sure I have no appointments for the time being before I leave my office and head towards the front desk. There are few patients in the waiting room, the snowy day seems to have kept people at home, or maybe they just don't want to spend their Christmas days off concerned about their health issues and who could blame them. I approach one of our receptionists, a perky blonde, a little of a ditzy character but she always has a kind word to offer our patients.
"Hello Krystal," I greet her and her honest smile meets me. "Where's Felix?" I inquire after our other front desk worker.
"I think he's hanging out in the security office," she answers in a low voice, leaning over the desk, as if telling me a secret. "I've told him that if I need him I'd call. He looks more sick than half the people we're receiving."
I thank her and leave in pursuit of my objective. Felix with a horrible hangover would make my mission easier. It will be a walk in the park to convince the young man into telling me what I need to know.
I knock on the door with SECURITY written in block, black letters and don't wait for a response before opening it. The small room is always dark, the illumination of several computer screens that show the images captured by the cameras spread throughout the clinic enough, and there's always the distinctive smell of static electricity in the air.
Two pair of eyes go to me when I enter and close the door. Still without saying a word, I walk over the carpeted floor and untangle a chair from yards of cables to roll it just behind theirs. Sarah and Felix look at me and then at each other, spinning their chairs so that we're face-to-face.
My stare lands steadily on Felix's. "Who's Cosima's secret Santa?" I ask bluntly, my expression dead serious.
Felix arches a brow and looks sideways at Sarah, who responds in the same manner. "How should I know?" He challenges, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Oh… I think you know," I lower my voice and narrow my eyes at him. "Not a thing goes on in here that you don't know about."
"I'm the keeper of the secret Santa ballot box, it's a sacred task," he matches my seriousness and shows no sign of budging.
"So you do know," I infer, my stare going to Sarah who doesn't reveal a thing.
"If I knew, what makes you think I'd be interested in revealing it to you?" His eyes are bloodshot, his skin too pale; all the usual signs of a hangover, but his mind remains sharp and I certainly wasn't counting on this turn if events.
I contemplate him silently, read his expression, very aware that he didn't flatly reject my request.
"What will it take for me to… peak your interest?" I ask, crossing my legs and resting my back against the chair.
"Are you really trying to bribe your way into knowing that?" Sarah asks slightly surprised.
"I am!" I nod my head firmly once.
"And why do you want to know that?" She asks.
"That doesn't concern you," I answer quickly and look back at Felix. "Name your price!"
"Morning coffee and doughnuts," he says after a small pause. "For a month, starting next month, when we return after the break. For me and Sarah. And none of that piss in the break room. I mean outside coffee, the good stuff, every morning."
"Done!" I don't hesitate.
"Shit! That was easy!" Sarah starts to laugh and relaxes against her chair.
"Alison's got Cosima's name," Felix reveals and I start to get up. "And you got Josh from legal."
I pause on my way to the door and look over my shoulder. "How do you know that?"
"Ways and means, my dear, ways and means…" He jokes. "Don't forget our coffees."
"And doughnuts!" Sarah calls just as I'm leaving the room.
As I walk away on my way to find Alison, I start to wonder, did I bribe them, or was I extorted? Regardless, at least now I know what I want, and not at a small price. Besides, I figure that convincing Alison to trade with me shouldn't be hard at all, in fact, she'll probably see it as a relief. I can't imagine what the restrained woman has on common with Cosima.
Alison is our resident psychologist, and must be good since she's always booked solid, although I can't imagine how's that possible. She's always seemed to be a bundle of nervous energy when I'm talking with her, as if she's not comfortable in her own skin. I certainly can't picture myself revealing her my darkest secrets, but, perhaps, she comes across differently when she's working. After all, her profession involves listening rather than speaking, and that may be the secret to her success.
Fortunately, I caught up to her between appointments, and she waves me in after knocking on her door. Alison is sitting on the armchair, away from her desk, with a notebook on her crossed legs, making some notes on her last patient's file, I assume. I hesitate a little before taking a seat on the couch, directly across from her.
"Dr. Cormier, what can I do for you?" She asks rather formally.
"Oh… it's nothing serious," I start, chuckling awkwardly, suddenly feeling silly about the nature of my visit. "It's about the whole secret Santa nonsense." I wave a hand.
"Don't tell me you got my name…" She says, placing the pen on the notebook and closing it. "But if that's the case, you should know I like scarfs… something beige or in the likes of it. Nothing of those strong colors people are so fond of these days."
"I… no…" I mumble. "I got Josh from legal."
"A tie then," she ventures in a helpful way.
"No… That's not it." I shake my head. "I've learned that you got Cosima's and I was wondering if you'd be open to trade with me." She frowns and her lips form a thin, straight line, looking somewhat uncomfortable. "If you want I could pay for whatever you choose to…"
Alison raises a hand to stop me and shakes her head. "I'm afraid I can't do that," she says. "I've already traded with someone else. It was quite a relief actually, the moment I saw Cosima's name I knew I was in trouble. Not that Scott is any better, but it's always easier to find a gift for a man."
"I guess," I comment distractedly. "And you traded with..?"
"Shay," she answers what I already feared. "I found her as soon as I arrived this morning and somehow we ended up talking about it. She was kind enough to offer an exchange."
I bet! I think, feeling my blood boil. Of course she would, she always seems to be one step ahead.
"But I'll gladly trade with you now, if you still want it." I hear her say in the edge of my attention.
I think it over for a few seconds. "Okay!" I decide, because the last thing I need is to have another reason to talk with Josh from legal.
At least my efforts are not entirely fruitless and when I leave Alison's office I have a much more pleasant name in my pocket.
There's no way I can convince Shay to trade with me, and I'm not even going to try. What I need, for once, is to be one step ahead of her, and in order to achieve that, I need to get some information directly from her. In this, I'm not above sabotaging her intentions, even if that means having a conversation with her. Just thinking about it puts a grimace in my face.
I attended two patients in the morning with symptoms of the common cold and sent them on their way with prescriptions of an antihistamine and plenty of hot beverages. When it's time for lunch, I put on my coat and go outside, crossing the street to the small grocery store that has a good selection of takeaway food and that our staff is fond of using on the cold days. Unsurprisingly, I find Shay scouting the vegan selection and approach the same fridge shelf, pretending to be interested in what they have to offer. She gives me a quick glance, but doesn't say a word.
"What do you recommend?" I ask, forcing a smile to my lips and try to hide the contempt I have for her.
"I didn't know you were into the vegan lifestyle," she says in an accusatory way.
My smile becomes cold, but I keep up with my charade. "I'm thinking of my new year's resolution: live a healthier life," I wing it. "And I guess now is as good time to start as any."
She looks doubtfully at me, suspicion painting her blue eyes. "You can choose whatever you like." She's deliberately unhelpful, and I'm starting to believe the animosity is mutual. "Cosima and I have already tried all of them and they're all great." She adds, completely unnecessarily.
"Yes, but I'm sure some are better than others," I comment and this time I don't even smile, struggling to maintain a friendly poise, clenching my jaw subtly.
Shay stretches to reach the top shelf and I don't bother to offer her a hand. The whole thing can collapse on her for all I care. But unfortunately she manages and when she brings the box down she gives me an annoying smile.
"This is Cosima's favorite," she says, irritatingly cheerful, and gets another box from a lower shelf, stacking it on top of the other and walks to the register.
Without looking, I take the box that's closer to my reach and stalk after her.
"You two certainly seem to know each other very well," I comment and Shay hums while taking her change from the clerk. "I'm sure you won't have a problem finding a gift for her," I add in order to get her attention before she leaves.
As I expected, Shay stops on her way out, her hand already holding the door open, and looks back at me. I maintain a casual posture, deliberately keeping my attention on the clerk and the fact that I'm paying an absurd amount for what's amounts to nothing more than a salad.
"How do you know?" Shay asks when I get close to the door.
"Alison mentioned it," I answer vaguely.
For a moment, she wears a discontented glare, but it's fleeting, and she immediately opts for a large smile, although her bright blue eyes look coldly at me. "Well, I've given a lot of thought about it, but I think she'll be quite… satisfied," she says in a way I know it's meant to spite me.
And it's only now that it occurs to me that Shay might've seen the interaction between Cosima and I the night before, even if she did a good job pretending she was oblivious to it. And perhaps Shay constantly getting in the way of me and Cosima is not something accidental, but with the clear intention of blocking me. She's obviously much more cunning than I've given her credit for. Always in Cosima's orbit, lingering around the quirky brunette was not only done for her own benefit but it achieved to keep me away as well. Did she know from the beginning that I was interested in Cosima? And, if that's the case, was her constant presence around the young woman a way to keep the competition away? If so, I was too fucking gullible. I gave them space for Cosima to figure it out, while Shay was on the move, doing exactly the opposite.
Maybe you don't know Cosima as well as you think," I propose, but say it calmly, I refuse to allow Shay to rattle me.
"Oh… I know her plenty," she says suggestively and walks to the edge of the sidewalk. "And come New year's I'll know her even better."
Shay basks in my astonishment for a few seconds and then approaches the curb, waiting for the traffic to slow down, and crosses the street. And yes, she caught me by surprise, I think as I follow her shortly after, but in her pretentiousness, she has made one big mistake. Like any overconfident villain, she has revealed her plot and has given me an edge. Well, maybe not entirely, but considering her words, it's not hard to speculate what she intends to do. And whatever that is, it's happening on New Year's, probably after the party that the people from the clinic are sure to attend, given that that's when the presents are to be exchanged. And fuck if I'm going to let that happen.
I'm not usually a vindictive person. In fact, I try very hard to stay out of other people's business, but this time I feel myself ready to break my own rules.
After a quick stop in my office to drop my unappealing meal and my coat, I walk with purpose to Cosima's lab. I waltz in like it's my given right to do so, and only stop at the table where Shay and Cosima are unpacking their lunches, away from the desks where Cosima works.
"May I have a quick word with you?" I direct this to Cosima, not even bothered to look at the small blonde, but still feeling her cold glare on me. "Privately," I add for good measure.
"Privately?" Cosima murmurs lowly, her expression not hiding her surprise.
"Can't you see that we're busy?" Shay butts in, her hostility obvious.
I continue to ignore her. "We can talk in my office," I say, my eyes solely on Cosima. "You can bring your food if you like."
I just admit that it's priceless to see Shay's amazement when Cosima gets up and picks up her food container, a big grin on her face.
"Yeah, sure!" She says in an excited voice and begins to walk to the door. But then she stops, hesitates and looks back at the other woman watching us leave with mouth slightly agape. "I… Maybe it's better if you leave too, Shay," Cosima says. "You're really not supposed to be here unsupervised."
Shay murmurs something unintelligible under her breath and gathers her things, quickly walking out without looking at us. I have to smile, a devious little delight bubbling in my chest, and do so when Cosima's back is turned to me to make sure the door is locked after she closed it.
"I hope I wasn't interrupting anything," I comment when we're walking down the hall towards my office.
"Oh, no, no, no… Not at all!" Cosima waves her arms and I fear for the integrity of her meal. "She's alone in her office and we kinda got used to having lunch together," Cosima adds and I suspect she's trying to justify Shay's constant presence by her side.
I hum and turn to open the door to my office. "People may see it as something else," I say in a leveled voice despite the hint of annoyance I'm feeling.
"Well, people should ask before they start to make assumptions." For the first time I sense some irritation coming from the young scientist.
I hum once again, standing in the middle of the room and watching her pass by me, setting the food container on my desk. Cosima turns to face me, leaning her back against the desk and bracing herself with both her hands on the edge of it, crossing her ankles. Her bright eyes are fastened on me, in an open, inviting manner that's the perfect definition of her character. And she's right, I should've asked, but had I payed attention, even that wouldn't be necessary. I should've anticipated that it's her nature to make everyone feel comfortable and welcome in her presence. And if Shay has taken advantage of this, it's not Cosima's fault, but she shouldn't be ignorant about it either.
"It's easy to make assumptions when she encourages it," I say, resisting the urge to look away. I need to keep the eye contact if I want her to take my warning serious.
"Shay does?" She asks, an eyebrow cocked, her constant smile momentarily forgotten.
"She… insinuates," I answer in a low voice.
I observe her and she doesn't say anything, but has a thoughtful expression. I can't read her mind, Cosima reveals nothing. In the meantime I'm starting to wonder if this is new to her, that she really wasn't aware of Shay's maneuvers behind her back. I mean, Shay is not exactly subtle, and even if it escaped the quirky young woman, I'm sure Cosima's friends have mentioned something.
"Is this what you wanted to talk about?" She eventually asks in a tone devoid of emotion.
I'm somewhat caught off guard by this side of her. After last night I thought we were making progress, convinced there was something there, a connection and that was the only reason I decided to bring this to her. Or was I mistaken? Was it all caused by the copious amount of alcohol and it meant nothing to her? And if that's the case, all my assumptions were wrong.
"I… No…" I stutter, suddenly not feeling so confident and turning to my backup plan. "Scott…" I mumble.
She looks at me confused. "What about him?"
"I'm his secret Santa," I explain. "I was wondering if you could help me out, since you obviously know him better."
"Oh… That's it?" Cosima asks and I think I see a hint of disappointment in her eyes.
"Well, yes…" I shrug, dropping my gaze. "What else?" I boldly venture.
She's silent for a moment, and when I finally look at her, Cosima's eyes are on me, narrowing slightly as if she's trying to discern what's going on in my mind, not unlike I do with her. Several times in the past I've caught her gaze, she has always seemed so... engaged with me, observing me. I couldn't be wrong, could I? No, there's definitely something, and I suspect that all this hesitation comes from not knowing each other all that well. But it's fine, I think. We've got time to get there. I sigh and start to walk to my desk, passing by her. I don't go far though, as her hand reaches out to take a light hold on my wrist, not enough to truly make me stop, but effective in captivating my attention. I stop and look down at her, surprised to see a smirk on her lips.
"You know…" she pauses and looks me over. One last moment of hesitation. "When you said you wanted to talk privately, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind," she expels in an open, clear voice that leaves little room for misinterpretation.
I nibble my lower lip briefly, but take her cue and instantly wrap my free hand around her neck to pull her to me. Cosima's lips eagerly receive mine and I kiss her with an intensity I didn't dare the night before. In the fervor of my desire, I commit the sin of not thoroughly exploring the soft, delicate shape of her lips before requesting entry with my tongue sweeping over her lips. My body moves on its own volition, standing in front of her and pressing forward, trapping her. Cosima releases a groan that I quickly swallow, both her arms are thrown over my shoulders and she raises to the tip of her toes, sinking her fingers in my curls. My hands lower to her waist and I dig my fingers on the swell of her hips, tugging her even tighter as my tongue dives into her mouth once again and she continues to reciprocate in kind. When I press ahead, her body doesn't budge, she seems incredibly interested in keeping us as close as possible and I making it my goal to assure her.
"Come with me to the party." My whisper sounds like a demand when I move my lips to nip the tip of her ear and trail lower to her neck. My motions don't stop and I keep pushing against her in search of a satisfaction that I should know better than to seek in our present condition.
Her body vibrates with a chuckle. "How can I say no when you have me trapped like this?"
I think she might be joking, but still pause to look at her while my body remains relenting. "You can," I assure her, grazing my nose against hers in a tender gesture that's made to persuade her nonetheless.
"No, I really can't." She croaks and shakes her head, smirking.
"Good!" I nod and in a moment of boldness, I slide my hands down her hips to rest on her ass. "I'll pick you up," I say, squeezing her ass to pull her to me.
Cosima laughs. "Yeah, you will!"
Cosima allows me another eager kiss and my hands are already working to untuck her shirt from her pants. A hand on my chest pushes me back and I stop short of feeling her skin, while she maneuvers to turn us around until I'm the one trapped between her compact body and the desk. I didn't exactly know what to expect, but it certainly wasn't to see her retreat from me with a big smile. Cosima teases another kiss, but it's only reaching for the food container left untouched in my desk.
"As for Scott's gift," she says casually, but the roughness of her voice betrays her. "He has a cat named Denise that he absolutely adores. Maybe that can help."
Cosima walks to the door and winks over her shoulder before exits, leaving me to cool down on my own and plan a way to get back at her.