It's a Romantic Conquest True Love Story, Haruhi-Chan!
Chapter One
Headaches & Handstands
"Hey, look! Kyon, look!"
An excited squeal, some scattered giggles.
"Kyon! Kyoonnn, look at me! Look at meeee!"
More squeals, giggles.
A sigh.
CRASH!
"Hey," Kyon frowned, the loud noise finally awakening him from a dull, homework-induced stupor.
He didn't have to look very hard to find the source of the commotion. There, lying on the floor in an awkward pile of limbs and pigtails, was his little sister. A pretty nasty bruise was flourishing on her right arm, and her lower lip was wobbling slightly.
"What were you doing?" asked Kyon, one eyebrow raised.
His sister was always loud and noisy, but she became nothing short of deafening when there was nothing on TV. Kyon supposed the Card Captor Sakura reruns had been hoisted from the programming menu to make room for more baseball or something.
"I was practising my handstands, duhhh," the little girl replied, rolling her eyes as if this were the most obvious thing in the world. "I told you to look at me, but you didn't, and you never got to see my handstand! My gym teacher said they were really good!"
"Look," Kyon said, acting the ever-concerned older brother, "I've got homework to do, and it's already difficult without the unnecessary distractions. Besides, I've seen your handstands before, and I thought they were amazing then."
His sister's lip immediately stopped wobbling, despite the ugly-looking bruise. "You really think so?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Yayyyy. I am amazing, huh?"
And, with those parting words, the young girl bounced to her feet as though made of durable elastic, and proceeded to race out of the room in order to do some more gymnastics.
Kyon shrugged, none to concerned with his sister's welfare. Little kids were like the energiser bunny – they just kept going and going and going, bruises or no. A child wasn't healthy unless it was annoying, loud, dirty and covered in various cuts that they could barely remember receiving.
Besides, there were more important things to worry about.
Like maths homework.
Silence enveloped Kyon's room once more, broken only by muffled shouts of his sister from across the hall, and the ticking of his clock.
Tick, tick, tick.
So, if x equals five multiplied by r squared then I'll have to do the inverse and boy, this is confusing, sort of like Haruhi's bizarre mood swings. I mean, can't that girl find one personality and stick to it, like Nagato? You didn't see Nagato parading around like the Queen of Sheba one minute, then bemoaning that her life was boring another…
The sound of Kyon's pencil tap, tap, tapping against his desk became added to the din, and thoughts gave birth to more thoughts, which only spawned more, until his brain was filled with Haruhi, Haruhi, Haruhi and there was no room for maths equations whatsoever.
Mikuru, Nagato, Koizumi – they'd been behaving differently today, as if they knew something wasn't quite right. As if something bad was going to happen. But that was ridiculous, right? Kyon had carefully been keeping his distance from Mikuru, and he was Haruhi's boyfriend now – there was no competition at all.
So maybe that was the reason why…?
Tick, tick, tick.
Haruhi, Haruhi, Haruhi.
Haruhi was bored.
She had no competition and, therefore, her love life held no danger or uncertainty, as it once had during those perplexing months where Kyon's affections towards Haruhi had been unsure and tentative, ranging from pure irritation to amicable tolerance.
But that wasn't fair, Kyon thought, gritting his teeth (and, unknowingly, his pencil – the poor thing seemed ready to snap). She'd nearly ended the world because Kyon and Mikuru were getting too close, and now she was going to end the world because Kyon barely looked at the time-traveller twice?
Err, make that thrice.
Hey, Mikuru was cute in her little maid outfit. Kyon was only human (unlike several other people.
Ha, ha).
"Wow… Maths problems suddenly seem so insignificant…" the boy muttered, releasing his death-grip on the pencil.
Indeed, the whole 'end of the world' scenario tended to put things into perspective.
"Heeyyy, Kyon! Kyyoonnn!"
Now, the boy had been fully preparing to ignore his sister, as homework was very important and handstands hadn't been on Kyon's 'top ten most important things in the world list' since he turned seven.
"Kyyonn, youu lazy bum, there's somebody at the doooorr for youuu!"
But the last bit caught his attention.
Names began to run through his head; Miss Asahina? Nagato? Koizumi? It was possible, consodering Haruhi's recent spate of moodiness and melancholy. Who knew, maybe some more of those giant blue monsters were giving closed space a real pummelling?
Haruhi herself? He was getting warmer; the pair were dating, and she'd said many a-time before that talking face-to-face was more important than talking phone-to-phone. Maybe she was going to dump him, to peruse some 'dangerous' new love interest with a tattoo and motorcycle?
Taniguchi? Yeahh, that sounded more like it. Doubtless, he wanted to copy Kyon's homework.
The lazy bum.
"Geeez, Kyon, took ya long enough!"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm here now" Kyon sighed at his little sister's Haruhi-esque words, praying to God and all his deities (although, according to a certain esper friend, and the term 'friend' was used very loosely, God was Haruhi. Kyon swore life hadn't always been this complicated) that she would not end up like Haruhi. "Who is it?"
"Ah, hello, Kyon."
It was Koizumi.
Yippee.
Out of all five possibilities, this was the one he'd been hoping to avoid; partly because it meant fifty feet tall monsters were ravaging parts of the city in closed space, and mostly because he'd never heard of personal space.
Weirdo.
"I apologise for coming over so late, but there is something urgent I must discus with you," Koizumi said, plastic smile firmly in place. He was sort of like a Barbie doll in those aspects, minus the blond hair and general female-ness. "Would you mind discussing matters with me outside? I am afraid it cannot wait."
"Well, my, uh, little sis needs someone to take care of her…"
Kyon felt a pair of small, yet forceful, hands push against his back.
Into Koizumi.
"Oh noo, don't worry, big bro! You leave me alone all the time, I'll be fine! I think Sailor Moon reruns are gonna come on after baseball, anyway! Enjoy yourself, Kyonnn!" chirruped his little sister angelically.
It was official; his sister hated him.
Probably because of that stupid handstand.
Traitor.
a.n: this story is fun to write ^^ the chapters will all be pretty short, tho, cuz i srsly lack concentraction skillz xD if i try to write too long it sort of becomes messy. anywayy, i hope they're in character.
& i don't think i'm going to use things like 'chan' or 'kun' in this because i only watched the english dub of haruhi, so i'm not sure what they refer to each other as. & pseudo japanese doesn't sound too good if you don't know what you're doing xD