"It's a miracle you survived." That was my greeting upon waking up again. A nurse scolding me as if very experienced on patients blacking out in the middle of a snowstorm. Maybe she was. "What were you thinking? Where in the world are your parents?!"
I opened my mouth to cough before dozing off again. Then I snapped my eyes open and tried to sit up, failing spectacularly with the number of blanket layers on my person. "Where's Magikarp and elevator music guy?"
She looked ready to explode, before deflating like a balloon who has given up on life, and closed her eyes, most likely counting to ten… Alright, twenty. Thirty. Nevermind, by the amount of time that has passed, probably a hundred.
"Young man," she said slowly and with a smile that promised pain behind cultivated politeness. "Your Magikarp will be fine now but he almost died, like you. I presume by elevator music guy you mean the Legendary Trainer Red. He was very concerned and is still waiting outside."
Wait, did she say 'man'? I closed my eyes and focused on breathing, not willing to open that can of worms right now.
Then she marched out of the door. Time passed. She marched right back with that exact same killer smile and elevator music guy, who I now noticed had a red vest and hat. Is this Red, as in the game or manga Red? Which version of the pokéverse am I in even? His face was still as blank as when I met him.
"This is Red," she said. "He will be acting as a League official during your questioning, as it is his right as an honorary ranger. Talk."
My brain must have rebooted because I auto-replied with a meme. "Miss, may I have my emotional support Magikarp please." The internet exists purely for your embarrassment, a pearl of wisdom that had arrived too late.
I don't think that shade of red was supposed to exist on someone's face.
Where's the beginner's luck that asshole promised?
AN: Please don't fight in the review section.