Starbuck

He wasn't awake. He knew that but it didn't make what was happening in his head feel any less real. He wondered if the fact that it was her was what made it so real. If it were anyone else would he be panicking like this? Probably not.

He was trying to remember. What happened? Something. There was a bullet… in his head…surgically removed. Oh gods. He was dying. He couldn't wake up and he was seeing what he feared most. That she wouldn't care. That she'd go straight to Lee and forget all about him; the husband she didn't really want who turned out to be a cylon.

He felt something graze his ear but there was nothing. He tried to calm the panic with deep steady breaths and it was working until she appeared in front of him again, whispering his name over and over again. "Sam."

But as she spoke she drifted further away. He tried to follow her. Walking at first but then the blank scenery changed to semi-dense forest and she turned and fled and he had to run. Even running he could only just see her enough to follow in her general direction. The forest seemed never-ending until suddenly it ended and Sam emerged into an empty but sunny clearing. Kara was nowhere to be seen.

He blinked and when his eyes opened he was in his quarters on Galactica. He was sitting shirtless in a chair with Tory straddling him and kissing his neck. He pushed her off and she fell ungracefully to the floor, looking up at him angrily.

"What the frak, Anders?" She got up.

"Kara."

"She doesn't want you, Sam. Forget her."

"Sam." It was Kara whispering again but he couldn't see her.

"Kara, where are you?" Sam stood up and looked around as if she might be hiding in plain sight.

"What are you talking about?" Tory huffed, stepping closer and smoothing her hands up his chest. "Let her go. She obviously doesn't want you. I'm here. I want you." He just pulled her hands off him and walked out the door as she called after him.

Outside the door wasn't the rest of Galactica. It was the tent he'd shared with Kara on New Caprica. It was dark outside the flap and Kara was fast asleep with her long hair…he liked her hair long… fanned out on the pillow, most likely naked under the blanket. Sam sat on the edge of the bed and brushed her bangs back from her face and then traced his fingers down her jaw line. He leaned down and brushed his lips across her forehead.

When he pulled back she was gone and he was standing in the corner of the living room in the apartment she'd been held captive in. She was sitting on the couch next to a Leoben and he was whispering something Sam couldn't hear in her ear. When Leoben pulled back Kara's words were like ice in his veins. "I don't want him to come for me."

And then he was nowhere again and alone except for the sound of Kara's grunts as if she were fighting someone; he hoped it was Leoben. But then he was looking through eyes that weren't his at Kara sitting by the side of his hospital bed whispering in his ear.

"I doubt name-calling helps much." It seemed as though the words came from him, but that wasn't his voice. It was Tory's. Kara glared in his/Tory's direction.

Another blink and then he was in a bedroom on Galactica watching as Kara wrapped he legs around Lee and interlaced her fingers with his, gazing smilingly at their matching wedding rings. This is where Kara would run to if he died; she would go straight to Lee. Lee buried his face in Kara's neck and she looked right at Sam.

"C'mon, Sam. Don't let this happen. Is this where I should be?" Lee didn't seem to notice that Kara was speaking to someone that wasn't him and proceed to remove her shirt and caress her stomach and kiss his way down her chest. "You're not allowed to quit. You hear me? No dying. You better frakking wake up." She produced a half moan half deep breath. "It doesn't matter anymore. This should be you. Just wake up."

And then everything disappeared and Sam looked around the blank wildly trying to find her. A hand slipped into his and it was her; she was there with him. He tightened his grip on her hand and held on.

"I'm going to wake up. I'll come back to you." She smiled her broken yet world-brightening smile. She needed him and she was all he wanted. He could wake up for her. He could do that.

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