A/N: Okay, next morning and we've had sugar…

Hello, and welcome to

KNOW YOUR STARS -with the cast of Inuyasha-Your hostesses are Fuyu and Kayl. Our victim this time is….. Kagome Higurashi

Fuyu: -kicks door open and walks in, bag in one hand, leash in the other-

Joe: -on the other end of the leash, a very irritated look on his face- Is this quite necessary?

Fuyu: -smiles sweetly and yanks on the leash so he stumbles slightly- Very. The rehab clinic told me to make sure you didn't run away. This was the most effective thing I could come up with.

Joe: -glares- What the hell are you on?

Fuyu: -giggles and holds the bag up- Sugar. -places bag in a chair then turns and pats his cheek- Don't worry, dearie. It's only until you complete rehab.

Joe: -fumes- Don't touch me. I'm not addicted to anything. I don't know why you even entered me.

Fuyu: -unconvinced look- Uh-huh. Riiiight. Come on, Joe we all know you snort shit.

-a blur of green goes by them and a loud squeal echoes-

Kayl, the "blur": Wheeeeeee!! You deserve it, Joe. Just admit it. -giggles-

Joe: -crosses arms- I don't know what you two are talking about.

Fuyu: -places hand over mouth and grins- It looks like I'm not the only one with sugar.

Joe: What the hell? You too? -mutters- This is bad….

Kayl: -squee- Well, of course!! Sugar is the basis of this show. -growls playfully- And you don't get any. -drinks xxx Vitamin Water-

Joe: … -pouts- That's not fair.

Fuyu: -pulls on the leash and hugs Joe tightly- Aw, poor Joe.

Joe: -wheezes- Can't… breathe…

Fuyu: -squeezes harder- Oh, of course you can. You big baby. -lets him go- We need to get started anyway.

Joe: -on the floor panting-

Kayl: -angry childish pout- Get up, dummy. Gosh. You're slowing us down!!

Joe: -glares and gets up- Shuddup.

Fuyu: -take clipboard off desk- Okay, first off is… disclaimer. -straightens up- We do not own the characters of Inuyasha. If we did… well, chaos would ensue. Second…. -glances at clipboard- if anyone comments to this, we would like it to be in a letter-to-the-show sort of format. We think it would be interesting. If you don't do it, we'll change your comment for you.

Joe: Why did you even ask?

Fuyu: -crosses arms- Because it's easier if the readers do it themselves. And they might want to do something special with the format. -hits Joe over the head with the clipboard- Stupid.

Joe: -winces and rubs the back of his head- Stop abusing me, damnit.

Kayl: -slaps Joe- Watch your effing mouth, dimwit.

Fuyu: -rummages through bag and pulls out huge bag of candy- -frowns- Where's Kagome? Isn't she supposed to be here by now?

-door opens and Kagome enters, flushed-

Kagome: I'm soooooo sorry! I got side tracked and I almost forgot abo-

Inuyasha: -comes in after her- Oh, chill Kagome. Believe me, you shouldn't be so eager to be here. -crosses arms-

Kagome: -smiles- Oh, come on, Inuyasha. They can't be as bad as you keep telling me.

Fuyu: -wraps Joe's leash around her hand and sort of drags him as she moves and places her other arm around Kagome's shoulder- Aw, aren't you cute! You think that we have good intentions. -smiles and gently leads her to the chair in the middle of the room- Sit here, sweetie. This shouldn't take too long, okay? I promise nothing will threaten your physical health.

Kagome: -fearful look- Wha-what?

Fuyu: -grins- There's a good girl. Stay right there and don't move no matter what. -turns and drags Joe towards the studio- Now get in there and do your job. -kicks him into the room and slams the door shut-

Kagome: -sits timidly in the chair, but has a slight defiant look in her eye-

Kayl: -stands next to the studio door like a secret service agent- Don't even think about it, Joe. -an aggravated sigh is heard on the other side of the door-

(The lights dim and a spotlight is on Kagome.)

Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…

Kagome: You've got to be kidding me. Isn't that show copyrighted?

This is fanfiction; we'll do whatever the hell we want as long as we don't claim it as ours.

Kagome: -huffs- Fuuuuudgggeee.

Yes, Kagome loves to stuff her stomach with fudge before every episode.

Kagome: -scrunches up nose in anger- Excuse me, are you calling me fat??

Fat…is an understatement. She's obese. When she walks, she bounces like jell-o.

Kagome: -looks down at her thin waist- Are you serious?

Sometimes she gets very upset about her obesity and eats even more chocolate. No wonder Inuyasha keeps crawling back to Kikyo.

Kagome: -stares off and tears form in her eyes- You asshole.

When she's all by herself, Kagome sits and wonders why she's not as good as Kikyo.

Kagome: -sits in anger and despair- I have never wondered such a thing.

Kagome plots Kikyo's death when she's at her own home instead of doing homework.

Kagome: I'd rather do math than plan to kill someone!

Kagome is actually really good at math, but she's only been hiding it so she can come back and see Hojo.

Kagome: Hojo is just a friend!

She'd like everyone to think he's her friend, but really he's her lover. Poor Inuyasha.

Inuyasha: What the hell? What is this!?

Kagome: -eyebrow twitch- Gross. I'm only fifteen.

Not your episode, shut up. Kagome only says that to cover up her guilty conscience.

Kagome: I've got the purest heart; how could I have a guilty conscience?

That's not what Akago said.

Kagome: -bluntly- Akago is corrupted and evil, dumbass.

So is Naraku, but you seem to have A LOT of fuun with him.

Kagome: Excuuuuse me!? Naraku is a filthy, slimy, hell-condemned, rotten, disgusting, pig-looking, human incarnating, insane lunatic!

Which makes him good in you-know-where. Everything hot-n-spicy with you two?

Kagome: Oh my… The thought of that makes me want to vomit.

I bet that turns him on even more.

Naraku: Are you saying I have some sick fetish??

Kagome: -air gags- You're gross.

Fuu: Where the fuck did he come from!? Get him out of here! This is Kagome's episode.

Kayl: -runs and grabs Naraku, literally kicking him out of the building- Hy-yahhh!

-returns to guarding the door-

Fuu: Continue, Joe.

I think I have enough people after my head for today, thank you very much.

Fuu: Then wrap it up, you pixie stix whore.

…

Fuu: If you haven't had enough humiliation with the leash, I'll walk you down a public street.

-coughs- This ends this session with Kagome, a.k.a. obese fudge-lover, Kikyo hater, mathematical genius, Hojo's girl, Naraku's squeeze.

(Lights turn back on)

Fuu: -mutters- We need better security in this building. -claps hands together- Well, Kagome. Feel free to leave now.

Kagome: -scoffs- The things I do… -leaves-

Kayl: -raises an eyebrow and suddenly falls over from Joe throwing the door open, kicking it off the hinges- -groans under the door- You…ass…

Fuu: Joe! Just for that, we're going through the mall with that damn leash around you're neck.

Joe: Over my dead body! -flees-

Kayl: Not so fast! -grabs his ankle and yanks him back, then kicks the door onto him and sits on top of it- -smiles triumphantly-

Fuu: -sigh- Sometimes I worry about us… -walks up to the camera and switches it off-

Next victim… Miroku.